John Harrison

	This Week			Last Week			All Time
	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	22	34	#8	29	44	#10	1421	3146	#53
Photos		1	#6	1	2	#7	1	3	#18
Comments	1	3	#9	1	3	#9	31	62	#62

caption quota: 49
caption votes given since joining: 1,467
comment quota: 17
comment votes given since joining: 21

profile send private message

captions comments received

captions


lol x3 creative x2 clever 30/11/22 12:04:55		26 38
Bloody hell. I take a break for a couple of days and when I come back both the November AND December prize winners have been announced ;) --James Lennox

lol 16/02/23 12:00:22		18 29
Great caption John, I bow to your humor and cleverness. And not just because it's prayer time. If this were ever to happen to you, I hope it won't be the kind of person who reads every label several times before making up their mind.... --Willie Johnson
	lol creative Tiddles was beginning to think he’d need to make his own dinner. 17/01/23 12:00:27	26

	lol Road sign creator collapses dead on keyboard. Final work displayed as tribute. 27/01/23 8:02:40	1 25

	lol clever x2 “Suella freakin’ Braverman…what’s yours?” 23/05/23 8:00:20	24

	“Have you tried switching it off and on again?” 08/03/23 20:00:12	1 23
Can you find the switch? --Willie Johnson
	It was the perfect practical joke...Dave hid his wife's hairbrush where he knew she'd never look. 08/02/23 12:08:53	1 23

	lol x2 creative Thomas The Tank Engine woke up with a throbbing head and a mouth like the inside of a budgies cage. "Can anyone remember where we left Annie and Clarabel last night?" he said. 25/10/22 22:32:00	23

	lol Dave was beginning to regret complaining about Linda making him "the same boring sandwiches" for lunch. 30/03/23 12:36:22	22

	lol clever "No, I'm fine...but have you seen a bloke on water skis?" 11/10/22 21:03:42, edited: 11/10/22 21:45:43	2 22
*seen --James Lennox
	lol x2 Loo Ferrigno 16/05/23 12:00:51	1 21

	clever Ski Sundae 16/01/23 12:00:13	21

	Dave's wife was just relieved she hadn't gone away for the full week. 05/11/22 8:00:42	21

	lol Not everyone could carry that outfit off like Dave, let alone at their mother-in-laws funeral wake 22/11/22 20:00:38	20

	lol Party like it's 1889 26/10/22 20:00:34	20

	Nice, but I really need a boot. 14/02/23 12:00:14	19

	"Now where's that tosser with the Rottweiler?" 06/05/23 12:06:02	18

	“I’m going on strike as well. They’re paying me chicken feed.” 18/04/23 8:00:15	18

	Superman was confident he could tackle one Danny Devito, but not three of the buggers. 03/02/23 20:00:20	18

	lol “Unfortunately, none of the four photographs submitted conform with UK passport criteria. Please retake without the stuffed cat.” 15/02/23 12:01:59, edited: 15/02/23 14:19:57	4 17
The dead parrot sketch is light hearted, is it not? 🤔 --Glyn Evans
	lol creative Rare find for David Attenborough as he stumbles across the nest of a Leather-Arsed Grebe 26/11/22 12:00:34	17

	lol x2 "I thought the hangover was bad enough...and then the toilet seat slammed down." 17/11/22 12:43:12	17

	Round one. 18/05/23 16:15:35	16

	creative Mystery surrounds fate of missing hairdresser. 17/05/23 8:06:41	16

	“Think that again and I’ll punch you in the face.” 17/12/22 12:00:14	16

	“Do you have everything you need madam, or would you like me to get you a shovel?” 26/11/22 8:41:34	16

	“Not another one Boris!” 21/11/22 20:00:14	16

	clever If you thought getting on the wrong side of The Mafia was bad, try upsetting The Entomology Society. 06/11/22 21:23:44	16

	creative clever Dave liked to have his Cholestrol checked regularly. 17/10/22 10:26:23	16

	Dental in plant 25/03/23 20:33:50	15

	"I don't care if you have a flat tyre sir, you can use a jack like everyone else." 21/03/23 8:05:41	15

	Heads or Wales? 08/03/23 12:00:12	15

	It was a difficult job, but being an undertaker wasn’t without perks 02/02/23 8:00:41	15

	"Anything for the weekend sir?" "Yes, a dozen Elastoplast and a prosthetic nose please." 29/01/23 14:35:09	15

	Dealer-shep 21/12/22 8:16:18	15

	Britain’s border control capability explained 07/12/22 20:01:29	15

	lol "This is gonna take for ever. Tight sod could have bought easy-peelers!" 11/11/22 20:59:55	15

	lol clever It was a simple system. If there was a pair left, they'd start dredging the pool. 19/10/22 9:42:15	15

	lol Should’ve gone to Downing Street 25/05/23 20:00:20	14

	When you've parked too far from the pump and are determined to make it reach. 14/05/23 8:04:08	14

	"What are we eating tonight Hammy?" "Oh, just something I've throne together." 13/04/23 13:48:11	14

	And so it came to pass that dozens of captioneers stared blankly at their screens. 13/03/23 12:02:17	14

	Parasole 04/03/23 12:01:21	14

	I saw exactly the same car last week, except it was green. 12/12/22 8:12:07	14

	Dave made two bad decisions that day - parking where he did and leaving the sunroof open. 27/11/22 13:48:17	14

	The evidence leant towards it being a fake. The depth of the layering, the delicacy of the brush strokes...the fact it was printed on a cheap beach towel. 26/10/22 13:08:05	14

	Barnsley “not fully prepared” for electric vehicle revolution, say local officials. 17/05/23 8:04:30	13

	"You couldn't hit a cows arse at 50 paces, Zeus." "Hold my beer." 11/05/23 12:28:41	2 13

	Escape Room 15/04/23 12:00:13	13

	Medical breakthrough as three new antibiotics discovered in Hull 01/03/23 13:10:51, edited: 01/03/23 13:11:30	13

	Scary Spice 22/02/23 21:24:47	13

	lol There was nothing Dave enjoyed more than launching an unprovoked mortar attack on an unsuspecting neighbour. 01/12/22 13:17:31	13

	clever "...and the vet said it's probably tinnitus." 23/10/22 8:26:39	13

	...and the winning Pumpkins in the 'carve-a-celebrity' competition go to David Dickinson and Katie Price. 21/10/22 21:04:51	13

	"No, course I haven't left the handbrake on. Do you think I'm an idiot?" 14/05/23 8:02:45	12

	Frantic scenes at Glasgow Central as charity collectors spotted approaching platform. 16/02/23 20:11:19	12

	clever Dave had no idea how the cub had got stuck to the window, and even less idea how to remove it. 12/02/23 20:08:01	1 12

	Lad-in-der Field 06/11/22 13:06:12	12

	lol The works outing had been fun and the mill owner promised that if everyone worked really hard, he might start the engine next year. 12/10/22 20:17:22	12

	If at first you don't succeed... 25/05/23 9:53:18	1 11

	His bark is worse than his bite. 20/05/23 8:02:47	11

	"It's okay, it's okay...it's only the ginger one." 10/05/23 20:01:54	11

	Quarter Pounder With Keys. 23/03/23 20:00:17	11

	"Bounce now, yer bastard!" 22/03/23 8:02:05	11

	Trials of novelty monorail get underway on M1. 21/03/23 8:02:08	11

	“Oh alright then, THEY is a knob.” 02/02/23 20:00:29	11

	My Scare Lady 17/12/22 8:26:45	11

	Clark Went 01/12/22 8:11:02	11

	Dave had been putting off defrosting the freezer, but the time had come. 13/11/22 10:02:09	11

	“Well, the good news is there’s no need to rake up the clippings…” 09/11/22 20:00:16	11

	The Naked Butler turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. 03/11/22 20:26:25	11

	The party at Wayne Rooney's house was in full swing. 30/10/22 20:20:57	11

	“Your call is important to us…” 27/03/23 20:00:16	10

	It could have been a beautiful moment, but was ruined by the raucous laughter of some nearby humans. 04/03/23 8:06:16	10

	“For Christ’s sake Reg, a mouse isn’t going to hurt you!” 26/02/23 20:01:48	10

	“Bad news…I couldn’t get us any tickets for the Cliff Richard gig.” 13/02/23 12:00:58	10

	RSPCA called after man spotted cleaning patio window with Tiger. 13/02/23 8:02:03	10

	Don't you just hate it when a waiter resigns half way through a shift? 07/02/23 20:06:44	2 10
I know. I hate it when that happens. --Willie Johnson
	'Now about your x-rays…’ 18/11/22 8:02:44	10

	Just off camera, two Bloodhounds by the names of Phil and Holly were sneaking to the front of the queue. 11/11/22 8:22:21	10

	"Why have you just sent me a picture of your food?" 03/05/23 8:02:03	9

	Most bizarre thing about this photo is that car door reflection reveals it was taken by a cat. 11/04/23 11:10:32	3 9
I'm seeing a baby elephant, but I'm not looking at the picture. --Willie Johnson
	"I know this looks dangerous...but she says she's got a driving licence." 11/04/23 8:40:51	9

	Mark Zuckerberg learned a lot from his early money making schemes 08/04/23 8:05:23	9

	"Well the good news Captain, is that we've avoided a shit-load of docking fees." 27/02/23 12:32:54	9

	"Remember the good old days Reg, before they started integrating aerials into windscreens?" 17/02/23 12:16:04, edited: 17/02/23 12:47:14	9

	...but corner shop still open. 01/02/23 8:10:51	9

	Cat Boy Slim 30/01/23 20:16:52	9

	It was either these or the Super Mario burgers and they looked a bit fatty. 16/01/23 8:28:50	9

	Dave had taken it too far again, but it isn't every day your daughter turns four. 06/12/22 8:11:29	9

	“Have you taken the shuttle from Heathrow to Manchester before madam?” 26/11/22 8:18:30	9

	"According to this you've got arachnophobia, Reg." Mon 12:10:45, edited: Mon 12:11:38	8

	"Someone just tried to rob me!" "No sir, that's the regular price for a cheese sandwich." Sun 8:52:21	8

	Catfish...Tigerfish...Lionfish...Nope, can't come up with anything. 22/05/23 12:04:36	8

	They didn’t have any hot water, but they did have a perfect re-creation of the London Underground Network. 17/05/23 12:00:25, edited: 17/05/23 12:02:27	8

	“Just paint a white circle around it, it’ll be fine.” 26/04/23 8:00:21	8

	“Way out man!” 15/04/23 12:01:00	5 8
The captions are slightly different but I think the least 17:25:13 can do is give you a nod. --Dave Bryan
	Cost of weddings set to rise due to inflation. 03/04/23 12:00:15	8

	Slantchester City 23/03/23 8:00:49	8

	The Pelican Briefs 09/03/23 20:00:13	8

more captions

last comments (total: 89)

But with fewer wrinkles.

Peter Houle

13/04/23
1:56pm

comment on caption:
Well, it's as Scottish as Rod Stewart. [John Harrison]

Not that I'm getting grumpy or anything (!) but isn't 17.25.13 the same thing...but less?

(caption author)

16/04/23
9:19am

comment on caption:
“Way out man!” [John Harrison]

No, 17:25:13 has got more syllables

Glyn Evans

16/04/23
9:27am

comment on caption:
“Way out man!” [John Harrison]

The captions are slightly different but I think the least 17:25:13 can do is give you a nod.

Dave Bryan

16/04/23
9:33am

comment on caption:
“Way out man!” [John Harrison]

Can't argue with the syllables. I hate analysing thing that are supposed to be funny, but I'm going to anyway.

The first caption alludes to the decorations being 'way out' by referencing a phrase popular in the 1960's amongst hippy types. This phrase seems to work particularly well because of the word 'man' which is the basis of the decorations. So it has two meanings 'outlandish and extreme' and that it is a man running for the exit. The second caption does only part of this, but not all of it, and adds nothing new. Does it?

At this point I'll stop whinging and return to my croissant.

(caption author)

16/04/23
9:47am

comment on caption:
“Way out man!” [John Harrison]

I certainly prefer this one.

Molly R

16/04/23
11:48am

comment on caption:
“Way out man!” [John Harrison]

Perhaps a nod to 12:00:13.

[anon]

12/05/23
6:15am

comment on caption:
"You couldn't hit a cows arse at 50 paces, Zeus."

"Hold my beer." [John Harrison]

Happy to do so, although I hadn't seen it until now! Fortunately the jokes are different, apart from mentioning Zeus.

(caption author)

12/05/23
8:14am

comment on caption:
"You couldn't hit a cows arse at 50 paces, Zeus."

"Hold my beer." [John Harrison]

Once you’ve flannelled John Lennon, don’t forget to….

[anon]

16/05/23
7:08pm

comment on caption:
Loo Ferrigno [John Harrison]

Give up.

[anon]

26/05/23
8:42am

comment on caption:
If at first you don't succeed... [John Harrison]

more comments

John Harrison

Sending private messages on this site is currently disabled due to abuse by spammers.

best earliest latest latest and best captions

last comments (total: 89)

captions