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Chris Keegan Vote score: 12533Chris Keegan

£50

Reports are coming in stating Theresa May is back in Brussels making one last push to get a Brexit deal"

13/03/19 12:20:20

So that's why she had a sore throat.. --stone face
Mr. Toad Vote score: 1738Mr. Toad
It was usually easier to take the A4.

09/06/12 10:28:38

Perfect. --D C
Stephen Bean Vote score: 26884Stephen Bean

£50

  "Im afraid the mammogram machines broken down Mrs Brown, so Im just going to grab your tits and have a good ol squeeze."

26/02/20 12:00:54

I'd already decided if I won I wanted to use the money to help caption.me. I've asked Chris if he might consider putting my winnings towards a second prize of £25 for Feb, and a second prize of £25 for March, and otherwise put it towards the c... --Stephen Bean
Ian Skelding Vote score: 29410Ian Skelding

"Look, there's some nosy bastard looking through our letterbox."

15/03/13 21:00:00

Well done for thinking out of the (letter) box. --Smuldo
Vinny En Vote score: 10669Vinny En

£25

We raised her on tinned food

18/07/22 11:04:26

Great caption. And Vivvy has very generously donated her prize back to the prize pool - thank you very much.  --Chris Beach
Nigel Marshall Vote score: 649Nigel Marshall

£50

  “and did you make a wish?”

14/07/22 7:00:14

This caption gave me a genuine LOL moment. And getting two captions in the monthly top three is a very rare achievement for any captioneer. AND this is only your first month on the site! Well done Nigel.  --Chris Beach
Molly R Vote score: 3777Molly R

£50

  Most of them were Trump lookalikes - orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should be thrown out in November.

20/09/20 11:00:47

Thank you all so much! I had never imagined that I could ever produce a winning caption - I was always delighted with anything which crept into double figures. So there is hope for everyone, that one of their captions may just hit the spot. --Molly R
Mark Wilson Vote score: 4725Mark Wilson

£50

Due to social distancing the pool only has water in lanes 1, 3, 5 and 7.  So if the swimmer representing Ireland in the 200m backstroke could move to the next lane across please

19/07/20 11:36:41

Wow, I'm only on the bloody winners board!! Thanks to all who made this possible and your kind comments. There are some great captions on that board.... and then there's mine. --Mark Wilson
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 18809Vanessa the Guesser

£25

  Boris is already trying to worm his way back into number 10.

08/09/22 7:01:34

Nice one Vanessa ... if you celebrate with a drink ... 'Down the hatch' --John Glover
Chris Keegan Vote score: 12533Chris Keegan

£50

Fairground regrets telling kids they can stay on as long as they like for 5 shillings.

04/03/22 12:00:30

Well done Chris , now get off and let someone else have a go. --Tony S
Tony S Vote score: 6105Tony S

£50

I name this ship Titanic.
Excuse me sir why are you dressed as a woman?
Just a feeling.

08/04/21 11:16:05

Thanks for all your comments it really is appreciated although I must confess I did use words from 18 other captions and just put them together in this order so I guess it belongs to all of you really. --Tony S
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 7219Karyn Harrison

£25

"Looks like its just you and me now Ringo!"

23/02/20 20:45:45

Well done. You've still a bit to go to earn as much from a dead Beatle as Yoko. --Troompa Loompa
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 874Spycenwolf
The Da Vinci chord.

04/05/19 11:01:16

Thank you for your kind words, Crunchy Chords! I was chuffed to bits when my caption garnered so much love. I am truly grateful to all of you guys and girls for this. I think that Welsh Rarebit's caption deservedly won. Apart from bei... --Spycenwolf
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 18809Vanessa the Guesser

£50

He's in for a shock. There's a conductor on board today.

27/04/19 11:09:49

I feel lucky to have won as I was up against some brilliant high scoring captions this month. Thank you for the votes, supervotes and kind comments!  --Vanessa the Guesser
C CaMel Vote score: 8899C CaMel

Horoscope:'Taurus will enter Uranus.'

22/07/18 7:45:58

Do you mean Horrorscope? --Dave Bryan
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

"...but I hate my brothel."

03/03/16 20:15:26

Ian Skelding Vote score: 29410Ian Skelding

Chow mane

19/10/22 11:00:18

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 6829Crunchy Chords

£50

  One.

27/09/22 19:00:12, edited: 02/10/22 5:21:37

Wow!! Cheers for the kind comments, everyone, and especially to Paul (the Finder), and to James, John L, and Glad (the generous Super-voters) as well as Vincent for his early praise. So many great captions this past month! I feel sorry to have pip... --Crunchy Chords
Vivvy En Vote score: 10669Vivvy En

£50

  HRH agrees to fund Prince Harrys security whilst in UK

29/01/22 8:14:53

Thanks everyone, you crazy bunch. You keep me sane, you really do. Thanks also to Chris - caption.me remains my favourite hang-out. And my gratitude also goes to Lizzie's dysfunctional family for providing us with excellent captioning material. --Vivvy En
James Lennox Vote score: 12485James Lennox

£50

"This is most embarrassing, but could you help? Somehow I've caught my penis in the fence."

18/07/21 11:55:41

Many congratulations, James! I've been out of it a while with Covid and missed some pictures entirely, so this has come as a new delight. A very worthy winner! --Molly R
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 17723Dan Nicholls

"Oi Noah, wait for us."

08/10/18 7:08:02

Noah: "Sorry guys, I've zebras and lions on board, I'll improvise." --Pete
Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

£50

K. FC.

11/01/17 20:01:12

Thanks for your comments everyone, and your votes for the smallest caption ever ;-), it was a difficult month for captioning but Mark, William, Dan or Ian could have won also with their captions, keep up the good work guys and gals cheers . --Smuldo
Steve Davies Vote score: 2446Steve Davies
As Dave celebrated his birthday  a witch callously steals his car.

30/10/16 16:18:47

Witty and imaginative Steve, love it xxx  --Andrea Hickling
Spud Gunn II Vote score: 535Spud Gunn II

Look who's torquing.

19/10/15 11:06:09

Al Overy Vote score: 14026Al Overy

£50

  "Is it bad news, Mr Whitty?"

21/10/22 7:00:16

Thanks so much for the votes and kind words. Moreover, thanks to Chris for his hard work, patience and generosity running the site. It's not easy looking after us lot. Thanks again, everyone. :)P.S. I'll just do a pun next time, James. --Al Overy
Nigel Marshall Vote score: 649Nigel Marshall

“For goodness sake Janice, pay 10p for a bag, the whole of Aldi is looking!’

23/07/22 11:57:31

stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

The Dali Llama..

07/09/20 7:06:41

Vivvy En Vote score: 10669Vivvy En

£50

  She can really hold her licker

11/04/20 7:13:29

Way hay! I'm starting to feel like a bit of a Captioneer now, need to work a bit on my consistency, lol. Thanks peeps, for all your votes and lovely comments. Thank you, Chris, for shining this here beacon of lightheartedness, where ... --Vivvy En
The Wolf Vote score: 16471The Wolf

£50

  No wonder my Nans in a wheelchair

18/06/19 19:00:13

Wow! I can't believe I've won, such a nice surprise! Thank you very much for the votes and kind words. Also thanks to Chris for picking the caption but most importantly for giving us the site! It's a privilege to be on the board and a pleasure ... --The Wolf
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

Cinq Hole

31/03/16 7:00:10

Best of the week. --John Glover
Zac Kramer Vote score: 10993Zac Kramer

The son shines out of his arse

14/10/15 19:08:22

Cath Jones Vote score: 38815Cath Jones

Today is arm assist day.

11/11/14 12:00:06

Thank you for the nice comments :-) --Cath Jones
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6766Tosser Wivlov

Nice legs, shame about the faith.

12/02/13 12:46:36

Spud Gunn Vote score: 1595Spud Gunn

Lost Puppy... and I haven't seen my pussy for a while either.

05/01/13 10:58:11

D C Vote score: 2691D C

£100

Portaloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to.

09/07/12 19:00:21

Al Overy Vote score: 14026Al Overy

"My name's Nicholas and I'm an alcoho-ho-holic."

18/10/22 7:01:46

Tony S Vote score: 6105Tony S

Waiting list slashed as NHS introduce drive through Gynecology Clinic.

13/07/22 7:01:44

Al Overy Vote score: 14026Al Overy

Let's toast the winner!

16/11/21 8:00:08

Mark Wilson Vote score: 4725Mark Wilson

£50

"Welcome to Farmyard FM, just gone 7AM and this is for all the turkeys,  its Mariah Careys all I want for Christmas is you"

18/12/20 9:44:36

An alarmingly good caption. Well done, Mark --Vivvy En
The Wolf Vote score: 16471The Wolf

£50

You think your job is depressing?  You wanna try working in the Snowman morgue.

11/03/20 8:00:13

Thank you very much for your votes and kind words. There were some great captions this month so feel very fortunate to win the top prize. I've always found Caption.me a great and fun distraction from the otherwise stressful day to day of life. Th... --The Wolf
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 1425Charles Gilbert

£50

  "No time for questions, just get on!"

26/01/20 21:58:13

Congratulations Charles. Excellent caption, although I've got some questions. No time for them? Ok then I'll just get on... with captioning. --Willie Johnson
John  Glover Vote score: 22771John Glover

"Boris, there's some policemen at the front door?"

23/06/19 19:16:43

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

"This week, on 'Taking a Selfie Using a Galaxy Note 7'..."

15/06/19 11:55:33

C CaMel Vote score: 8899C CaMel

I've never finished a diet either.

11/06/19 19:00:49

Had a similar idea but I decided to vastly over complicate mine and yours reads much better! Great Caption :) --The Wolf
Tina  Flowers Vote score: 663Tina Flowers

These stairs lead down to the best cellar.

21/10/18 19:06:51

I think you might have a winner there. Great caption. --John Glover
C CaMel Vote score: 8899C CaMel

£50

"The toothbrush behind the sink was massive but I managed"

11/05/18 16:23:33

Thanks to Chris for the prize and thank you all for the kind comments! Biggest thanks to the poor bloke in the photo!Cheers all :D  --C CaMel
John Llamas Vote score: 20520John Llamas

Charles did not even flinch as the Swallow flew into his nose.

01/12/16 8:34:50

Well you've now got more for that comment Mark.... --Mr Dome
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

£100

Toed in the hole

16/07/16 7:00:10

Thanks for the nice comments guys.Toad/toed in the hole is one of those captions that occur quite often, I did one a few months before Fraser's, as have other captioners before that. --Welsh Rarebit
Cath Jones Vote score: 38815Cath Jones

Full Petal Jacket.

03/11/15 20:37:53

Ian Skelding Vote score: 29410Ian Skelding

It was a nice gesture by the Bulgarian Police Force to give informer Alexander Keepoff a Memorial.

03/09/15 19:00:10

Mark England Vote score: 20224Mark England

Step, Toe & Sun

12/03/14 12:37:33

Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

🎵 They call me Mr Bum-Plastic...🎵

16/01/13 20:00:51

Vivvy En Vote score: 10669Vivvy En

"I do hope Dave and Sandra are okay at the kennels."

29/09/22 7:27:36

Steve McLean Vote score: 37Steve McLean

This tree walks into a bar...

13/09/22 13:02:12

.... and was almost trunkated. --John Glover
Tony S Vote score: 6105Tony S

£25

  When youve got to go, youve got to go.

16/06/22 7:07:13

Squeezed out of first place and not quite stinking rich. Well done all the same, Tony!  --Al Overy
C CaMel Vote score: 8899C CaMel

£50

  “In all my years as a gynaecologist…”

04/11/21 8:08:24

C CaMel has very kindly donated his November cash prize back to caption.me and suggested we run a Christmas bonus prize for the 2021 “one that got away.”So, please  --Chris Beach
Vivvy En Vote score: 10669Vivvy En

"Oh, that's better. I kneaded that."

03/07/21 19:36:21

I love your captions, Vivvy. Lol. :) --Al Overy
Al Overy Vote score: 14026Al Overy

£50

BREAKING - Sniffer dog retires after largest ever cocaine find.  He left on a high, said his handler.

10/10/20 11:00:14

Thanks again everyone.  --Al Overy
Stephen Bean Vote score: 26884Stephen Bean
Lard of the Rungs

21/04/20 11:00:17

Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 2748Karen Oakenfull

As a funeral director, I should never have agreed to the, ‘Take Your Kids To Work Day' initiative.

30/03/20 12:59:43

Guideaux . Vote score: 2368Guideaux .

Made in China

22/03/20 12:31:59

Read an article the other day about the Spanish flu epidemic and it was saying that although Britain, France and Germany all had this flu before Spain, it got called Spanish flu because it appeared in the uncensored Spanish press whilst the other ... --Glyn Evans
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 22453Troompa Loompa

£25

  The Queen throws a leaving party for Harry and Meghan.

20/03/20 20:03:08

Thanks for all the kind words folks. 😊Stay safe 😷 and happy captioning. 👨‍💻 👩‍💻 --Troompa Loompa
Michelle Purrington Vote score: 32Michelle Purrington

£50

I dont mind this beer but I'm normally Intastellar

21/08/19 11:03:00

Has anyone else ever won the monthly prize with their first ever caption on Caption.me? Out of this world effort Michelle, well done. --James Lennox
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5909Kenny Ireland

RIPtide.

04/08/19 9:54:15

James Lennox Vote score: 12485James Lennox

"Luke, I am your farmer."

23/03/19 8:46:34

Haha. I don't mind chipping in a tenner for second place (it definitely will not be one of mine)!! Great caption. Genuinely choked on my toast. So thanks for nearly killing me!  --The Wolf
James Lennox Vote score: 12485James Lennox

£50

Wash his hands hopefully.

22/01/19 8:22:17

Thanks Dave and everyone else. Chuffed to be on the board and loving the spirit of Caption.me. Will continue to represent the hobbits down here in NZ. Cheers all. --James Lennox
Tony Edwards Vote score: 36421Tony Edwards

£50

"Has anyone handed in a left ear?"

08/08/18 11:26:52

"Nah, no one's left one 'ere." --John Glover
stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

"It was quite a comfortable ride. Once I got used to sitting on my nan's face."

03/08/18 7:13:01

Thanks Karen-If only you would have voted for it ,then I would have won the fifty quid and I wouldn't have had to sell one of the kids to make ends meet. But don't blame yourself Karen am sure you never meant to be so selfish. Once again thanks. --stone face
Ian Skelding Vote score: 29410Ian Skelding

Animal writes

31/05/18 19:00:17

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

Caution: Chinese Dragon costume thieves operate in this area.

01/05/18 19:16:15

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

£50

"When I asked you to give me a quote for the damage...?"

08/04/18 7:36:55

Thanks everyone for your comments and votes :-) --Welsh Rarebit
Mark England Vote score: 20224Mark England

Carol wished a double decker would come...and a Mars Bar, a Twix, a Bounty and a box of Terry's All Gold.

30/07/13 11:21:55

July's caption of the month, posted to the official caption.me Facebook page. Congrats! --Chris Beach
Tony Edwards Vote score: 36421Tony Edwards

"Get a tomb!"

13/06/13 19:17:39

Cath Jones Vote score: 38815Cath Jones

Wet knee Houston.

31/03/13 7:02:14

Houston, wee have a problem. --Pete
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6766Tosser Wivlov

They met each other on the web.

15/01/13 20:42:18

Roley Martin Vote score: 1863Roley Martin

8 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskies.

28/10/11 20:02:18

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 10585Hercules Rockefeller

The Wizard of Lbs

28/06/14 19:01:15

Took me a while, I think it was the capital L. I think best caption of the week. --Ian Skelding
Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

The ArmStrong of the Law.

27/08/13 11:57:39

That word play was a double back flip with a full twist. Nicely done! --Greg Curtis
Cath Jones Vote score: 38815Cath Jones

Barbara has a highly infectious laugh.

03/05/13 19:07:31

Dan Dan Vote score: 5606Dan Dan

After watching their team lose again, the crowd turned ugly.

07/02/13 12:08:07

or else they're just Man U fans --Tosser Wivlov
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

£100

Norman could only afford the basic package from Dignitas.

14/09/12 8:00:35

I've not seen this caption before, as I've not been a member that long. I've not laughed so much in a long time. There are captions, funny captions and, rarely, truly sidesplitting captions like this. Quintessentially fabulous. --Tommy FlashBangWallop
Mr. Toad Vote score: 1738Mr. Toad

The only gay in the pillage.

30/06/12 19:17:18

Ian Skelding Vote score: 29410Ian Skelding

Beach coma

03/10/11 10:00:16

Stephen Bean Vote score: 26884Stephen Bean

Life's a bitch and then you DIY

11/09/22 11:03:29

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 18809Vanessa the Guesser

£50

  Later on they fell out.

08/08/20 7:05:57

Thanks everybody! I really appreciate all the support and the lovely uplifting comments. :) --Vanessa the Guesser
Stephen Bean Vote score: 26884Stephen Bean
  Dave was the last to notice Medusa had taken up hang gliding.

08/07/20 11:00:09

Dave Bryan Vote score: 23421Dave Bryan

''Hello, Derbyshire police, it's Tom here. I've just seen a couple walking their dog.''

31/03/20 7:04:05

Mark Wilson Vote score: 4725Mark Wilson

All these animals on Noahs Ark and I'm the only one who feels seasick

12/02/20 20:11:57

Sorry Mark, missed voting by an inch. Great observational caption. --James Lennox
Leroy Brown Vote score: 8087Leroy Brown

Driving Miss Daisy

04/08/18 22:47:17

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

Altar Ego

26/07/18 12:51:38

Here's another one JG - caption.me/57912 :) --Pete
stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

£50

Gary was confident of his chances in this years novelty hat competition.

07/03/18 8:33:00

Hat off to you, stone face, great caption. --Pete
William Kay Vote score: 1105William Kay

It was definitely a no fly zone.

20/01/17 12:40:19

Tony Edwards Vote score: 36421Tony Edwards

The proof is in the pudding.

29/03/16 21:03:44

After proofreading your caption, I find it perfect. --Pete
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 6302Lucky Elperro

I may have Parkinsons, but I can eat my own ice cream thank you very much.

07/09/15 11:18:26

Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5909Kenny Ireland

Bureaucat.

15/06/15 19:18:24

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

It was several weeks before his landlady realised he'd left without paying.

29/12/14 20:12:10

The following is not a joke; it's a compliment: If you show this image to a thousand people, 950 would just scratch their heads, 49 would make SOME sense out of it...and one, maybe just ONE would be funny. Congratulations! Nice caption, which is ... --Greg Curtis
Mark Cowling Vote score: 1430Mark Cowling

ITV allow the public to choose Matt Hancock's next trial.

Wed 12:00:07

Nigel Marshall Vote score: 649Nigel Marshall

Never sneeze near the pick n mix

02/11/22 20:00:55

Dave Bryan Vote score: 23421Dave Bryan

''The conference hall bar is now open, if anyone would like to purchase a gottle o' geer.''

16/10/22 11:01:00

Stu Dent Vote score: 5620Stu Dent

£50

  Since the pandemic started, Cremation staff are having to work from home

25/01/21 20:03:45

Kudos to you Stu, well urned.  --Glyn Evans
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