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Chris Keegan Vote score: 14641Chris Keegan

£50

Reports are coming in stating Theresa May is back in Brussels making one last push to get a Brexit deal"

13/03/19 12:20:20

So that's why she had a sore throat.. --stone face
Karen McDonald Vote score: 4083Karen McDonald

£50

  "I think the cat wants to go out."

29/05/23 8:20:55

Thanks everyone! thank you very much for voting, I am so chuffed, I literally never win anything ever. Thank you to Mr Beach for this horrendously addictive marvellous website, and finally thank you to my cat Midnight who is always wanting to go o... --Karen McDonald
James Lennox Vote score: 18643James Lennox

£50



A Brief History of Time

18/01/24 8:12:29, edited: 15/03/24 18:17:37

Many congratulations, James - blooming marvellous! --Molly R
Mr. Toad Vote score: 2088Mr. Toad
It was usually easier to take the A4.

09/06/12 11:28:38

Perfect. --D C
John Harrison Vote score: 7089John Harrison

£50

It was the first venue designed exclusively for Goldfish funerals.

30/11/22 12:04:55

Bloody hell. I take a break for a couple of days and when I come back both the November AND December prize winners have been announced ;)  --James Lennox
Stephen Bean Vote score: 41505Stephen Bean

£50

  "Im afraid the mammogram machines broken down Mrs Brown, so Im just going to grab your tits and have a good ol squeeze."

26/02/20 12:00:54

I'd already decided if I won I wanted to use the money to help caption.me. I've asked Chris if he might consider putting my winnings towards a second prize of Β£25 for Feb, and a second prize of Β£25 for March, and otherwise put it towards the c... --Stephen Bean
C CaMel Vote score: 15438C CaMel

β€œVery funny, Genie.”

07/02/24 20:02:25, edited: 08/02/24 11:12:40, suggested edits

Aha, so maybe I still could have used the one about a man wishing to give a big breasted chick a good ploughing ... darn ;)  --James Lennox
Dave Bryan Vote score: 33274Dave Bryan

£50



Its no use sulking. You were
the one who ate the cleaner.

14/12/23 20:05:07, edited: 15/03/24 18:17:50

Many congratulations, Dave! This picture was one of my first attempts at creating something using AI. I'm so pleased to see it inspired such a brilliant caption. Well done!And thanks, Vivvy. I'm glad you liked the picture. --Karyn Harrison
Al Overy Vote score: 19047Al Overy

£50

  Rock and paper came along after scissors. Dads currently suing the vasectomy clinic.

26/01/23 12:11:11

Congratulations, Al. Out of the many great captions this month, yours was a cut above the rest.:^)Crunchy --Crunchy Chords
Ian Skelding Vote score: 33232Ian Skelding

"Look, there's some nosy bastard looking through our letterbox."

15/03/13 21:00:00

Well done for thinking out of the (letter) box. --Smuldo
Phil Swan Vote score: 3952Phil Swan

£50

  Ethel changed her mind as to where to scatter George’s ashes

13/07/23 8:11:00

Very well done, Phil! Yours was the crem of the crop. Congratulations on your win. --Al Overy
Vinny En Vote score: 14275Vinny En

£25

We raised her on tinned food

18/07/22 12:04:26

Great caption. And Vivvy has very generously donated her prize back to the prize pool - thank you very much.  --Chris Beach
Nigel Marshall Vote score: 2062Nigel Marshall

£50

  “and did you make a wish?”

14/07/22 8:00:14

This caption gave me a genuine LOL moment. And getting two captions in the monthly top three is a very rare achievement for any captioneer. AND this is only your first month on the site! Well done Nigel.  --Chris Beach
John Harrison Vote score: 7089John Harrison

£50



It was to be Karens first and
last childrens party booking.

17/08/23 8:12:00

Many thanks for all your kind comments. Still can't tell which captions are going to get 30+ votes and which will be tumbleweed (which is most of them!) --John Harrison
Molly R Vote score: 4478Molly R

£50

  Most of them were Trump lookalikes - orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should be thrown out in November.

20/09/20 12:00:47

Thank you all so much! I had never imagined that I could ever produce a winning caption - I was always delighted with anything which crept into double figures. So there is hope for everyone, that one of their captions may just hit the spot. --Molly R
Mark Wilson Vote score: 5185Mark Wilson

£50

Due to social distancing the pool only has water in lanes 1, 3, 5 and 7.  So if the swimmer representing Ireland in the 200m backstroke could move to the next lane across please

19/07/20 12:36:41

Wow, I'm only on the bloody winners board!! Thanks to all who made this possible and your kind comments. There are some great captions on that board.... and then there's mine. --Mark Wilson
Chris Keegan Vote score: 14641Chris Keegan

£50



“Jeeez Dave, it’s not looking good,
they usually come out with a stretcher”

14/02/24 12:09:41, edited: 15/03/24 18:16:30

Congrats, Chris! That was a pitch-perfect caption. :^) Crunchy --Crunchy Chords
Kevin Rohan Thomas Vote score: 269Kevin Rohan Thomas

Ah finally. Here are the instructions!

25/01/24 8:19:07, edited: 25/01/24 8:21:12

Don't know how I missed such a great caption until now - three days late! --Molly R
John Harrison Vote score: 7089John Harrison

Dave decided there and then that if he ever had another affair, it would be with a woman who lives in a bungalow.

08/01/24 12:12:53, edited: 08/01/24 12:30:47

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8239Crunchy Chords
Its difficult to translate YMCA into Chinese.

29/06/23 20:00:15

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 22318Vanessa the Guesser

£25

  Boris is already trying to worm his way back into number 10.

08/09/22 8:01:34

Nice one Vanessa ... if you celebrate with a drink ... 'Down the hatch' --John Glover
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 10730Karyn Harrison

£50

I prefer the Lego lamb

25/04/24 12:04:53, edited: 01/05/24 23:20:19

Thank you so much for all your kind words and clever comments. I was amazed that my caption was so well-liked and never expected to be this month's winner. It was a lovely surprise and it's made my day.πŸ˜ƒ Many thanks to Chris and to everyone else wh --Karyn Harrison
Vivvy En Vote score: 14275Vivvy En

£50



"...and that is why you should regularly
clean and thoroughly dry your belly button."

25/09/23 12:21:49, edited: 15/03/24 18:19:20

Thanks, everyone, for your kind words and funny comments. I'm so glad that James' caption was able to receive the recognition it deserved too, very worthy. And as always, thanks to Chris for all the work you do for us. Today begins a new month so we' --Vivvy En
James Lennox Vote score: 18643James Lennox

£25

"Im trying to be sneaky here. Could
you stop playing that bloody cello?"

01/09/23 20:02:48, edited: 15/03/24 18:19:32

Love your caption James. You're gonna need a bigger vote πŸ˜‰ --Dot Old
M Clarkie Vote score: 1269M Clarkie

£50

  Darn it...no jackpot this time.

31/03/23 12:40:44

Darn it...no jackpot this time. Vote.Darn it...no jackpot this time. Vote.Darn it...no jackpot this time. Vote.Caption pay out! Congratulations M Clarkie --Glyn Evans
Tony S Vote score: 9201Tony S

"For the last time Nan thats the electric bread knife."

20/02/23 20:17:07, edited: 20/02/23 20:17:52

I wondered why I kept getting cut off. --Neil Mackenzie
Stephen Bean Vote score: 41505Stephen Bean

£25

Caesar salad

12/12/22 12:18:34

Well done Stephen for a great caption which was really on point --Mr Dome
Chris Keegan Vote score: 14641Chris Keegan

£50

Fairground regrets telling kids they can stay on as long as they like for 5 shillings.

04/03/22 12:00:30

Well done Chris , now get off and let someone else have a go. --Tony S
Tony S Vote score: 9201Tony S

£50

I name this ship Titanic.
Excuse me sir why are you dressed as a woman?
Just a feeling.

08/04/21 12:16:05

Thanks for all your comments it really is appreciated although I must confess I did use words from 18 other captions and just put them together in this order so I guess it belongs to all of you really. --Tony S
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 10730Karyn Harrison

£25

"Looks like its just you and me now Ringo!"

23/02/20 20:45:45

Well done. You've still a bit to go to earn as much from a dead Beatle as Yoko. --Troompa Loompa
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 874Spycenwolf
The Da Vinci chord.

04/05/19 12:01:16

Thank you for your kind words, Crunchy Chords! I was chuffed to bits when my caption garnered so much love. I am truly grateful to all of you guys and girls for this. I think that Welsh Rarebit's caption deservedly won. Apart from bei... --Spycenwolf
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 22318Vanessa the Guesser

£50

He's in for a shock. There's a conductor on board today.

27/04/19 12:09:49

I feel lucky to have won as I was up against some brilliant high scoring captions this month. Thank you for the votes, supervotes and kind comments!  --Vanessa the Guesser
C CaMel Vote score: 15438C CaMel

Horoscope:'Taurus will enter Uranus.'

22/07/18 8:45:58

Do you mean Horrorscope? --Dave Bryan
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

"...but I hate my brothel."

03/03/16 20:15:26

Tony S Vote score: 9201Tony S

Be careful because Super Average Man can be mean.

01/06/24 12:05:36, edited: 01/06/24 12:06:27

When Super Average Man is in a good mood, he's a co-median. --Glad You Remember
Phil Swan Vote score: 3952Phil Swan

£50



After years of no dates Davina
decided to change her Tinder photo

09/11/23 12:08:28, edited: 15/03/24 18:18:14, suggested edits

Well done Phil - great caption! How was the date? --Mr Dome
Al Overy Vote score: 19047Al Overy

£50

'Dear Mr Smith, here is your beloved Mittens, compliments of Stuffit & Mount Taxidermy. Due to a small incident with some superglue, we have decided to waive your bill. P.S. You can keep the deer.'

15/03/23 8:00:16

Good stuff! Dead funny. your wins just keep mounting.Keep them coming Al. --John Glover
Chris Keegan Vote score: 14641Chris Keegan

To date, 12 Scotsmen have tragically died attempting to get the pound coin.

04/02/23 12:19:17, edited: 04/02/23 14:25:21

Ian Skelding Vote score: 33232Ian Skelding

Chow mane

19/10/22 12:00:18

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8239Crunchy Chords

£50

  One.

27/09/22 20:00:12, edited: 02/10/22 6:21:37

Wow!! Cheers for the kind comments, everyone, and especially to Paul (the Finder), and to James, John L, and Glad (the generous Super-voters) as well as Vincent for his early praise. So many great captions this past month! I feel sorry to have pip... --Crunchy Chords
Vivvy En Vote score: 14275Vivvy En

£50

  HRH agrees to fund Prince Harrys security whilst in UK

29/01/22 8:14:53

Thanks everyone, you crazy bunch. You keep me sane, you really do. Thanks also to Chris - caption.me remains my favourite hang-out. And my gratitude also goes to Lizzie's dysfunctional family for providing us with excellent captioning material. --Vivvy En
James Lennox Vote score: 18643James Lennox

£50

"This is most embarrassing, but could you help? Somehow I've caught my penis in the fence."

18/07/21 12:55:41

Many congratulations, James! I've been out of it a while with Covid and missed some pictures entirely, so this has come as a new delight. A very worthy winner! --Molly R
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19643Dan Nicholls

"Oi Noah, wait for us."

08/10/18 8:08:02

Noah: "Sorry guys, I've zebras and lions on board, I'll improvise." --Pete
Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

£50

K. FC.

11/01/17 20:01:12

Thanks for your comments everyone, and your votes for the smallest caption ever ;-), it was a difficult month for captioning but Mark, William, Dan or Ian could have won also with their captions, keep up the good work guys and gals cheers . --Smuldo
Steve Davies Vote score: 2447Steve Davies
As Dave celebrated his birthday  a witch callously steals his car.

30/10/16 16:18:47

Witty and imaginative Steve, love it xxx  --Andrea Hickling
Spud Gunn II Vote score: 535Spud Gunn II

Look who's torquing.

19/10/15 12:06:09

James Lennox Vote score: 18643James Lennox

"Yes, I agree, Dave did do a pretty good job of renovating the litter box ... Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to have a shit."

10/01/24 8:33:06

Hahahahahaha. That's hilarious! You've made me choke on my toast. --Vivvy En
Dave Bryan Vote score: 33274Dave Bryan

''Darling, when you've finished putting the tree up would you come and carve the sparrow.''

01/12/23 12:23:30

Let her finish her thimble full of sherry first. --John Glover
The Wolf Vote score: 21909The Wolf

£50

"Stop crying, Matilda.
The donkey ride was too expensive."

26/10/23 12:26:57, edited: 15/03/24 18:25:47

Many thanks, Captioneers, for your votes and kind and funny words. I'm chuffed to bits that many of you liked the caption, and hats off to those who narrowly missed out. Big shout out as always to Mr Beach for providing the platform for us to be crea --The Wolf
Chris Keegan Vote score: 14641Chris Keegan

£25

"Really?? Our ancestors were programmed to make mashed potatoes???"

22/04/23 8:08:57, edited: 01/06/23 10:11:47

Well done, Chris. Now you can get absolutely smashed. --Dave Bryan
Chris Keegan Vote score: 14641Chris Keegan

"Yep, honest to God, in some countries I'm the starter and you're the main"

20/03/23 20:09:24

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 22318Vanessa the Guesser

Please dispose of crampons in the bin provided.

18/03/23 20:09:57

David  Michael Vote score: 1331David Michael

Euston, we have a problem...

13/03/23 20:05:06

Great caption author. I don't remember seeing it before and even if I had would give it a vote because it fits perfectly and made me smile. --Stephen Bean
John Harrison Vote score: 7089John Harrison

£50

Imran made a mental note to avoid the supermarket at prayer times.

16/02/23 12:00:22

Great caption John, I bow to your humor and cleverness. And not just because it's prayer time. If this were ever to happen to you, I hope it won't be the kind of person who reads every label several times before making up their mind.... --Willie Johnson
Tony S Vote score: 9201Tony S

I'm glad to see the 3 December winners didn't waste their prize money.

03/01/23 20:18:43

Who's who? --Glyn Evans
Al Overy Vote score: 19047Al Overy

£50

  "Is it bad news, Mr Whitty?"

21/10/22 8:00:16

Thanks so much for the votes and kind words. Moreover, thanks to Chris for his hard work, patience and generosity running the site. It's not easy looking after us lot. Thanks again, everyone. :)P.S. I'll just do a pun next time, James. --Al Overy
Nigel Marshall Vote score: 2062Nigel Marshall

β€œFor goodness sake Janice, pay 10p for a bag, the whole of Aldi is looking!’

23/07/22 12:57:31

stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

The Dali Llama..

07/09/20 8:06:41

Vivvy En Vote score: 14275Vivvy En

£50

  She can really hold her licker

11/04/20 8:13:29

Way hay! I'm starting to feel like a bit of a Captioneer now, need to work a bit on my consistency, lol. Thanks peeps, for all your votes and lovely comments. Thank you, Chris, for shining this here beacon of lightheartedness, where ... --Vivvy En
The Wolf Vote score: 21909The Wolf

£50

  No wonder my Nans in a wheelchair

18/06/19 20:00:13

Wow! I can't believe I've won, such a nice surprise! Thank you very much for the votes and kind words. Also thanks to Chris for picking the caption but most importantly for giving us the site! It's a privilege to be on the board and a pleasure ... --The Wolf
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

Cinq Hole

31/03/16 8:00:10

Best of the week. --John Glover
Zac Kramer Vote score: 10993Zac Kramer

The son shines out of his arse

14/10/15 20:08:22

Cath Jones Vote score: 38815Cath Jones

Today is arm assist day.

11/11/14 12:00:06

Thank you for the nice comments :-) --Cath Jones
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6766Tosser Wivlov

Nice legs, shame about the faith.

12/02/13 12:46:36

Spud Gunn Vote score: 1595Spud Gunn

Lost Puppy... and I haven't seen my pussy for a while either.

05/01/13 10:58:11

D C Vote score: 2691D C

£100

Portaloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to.

09/07/12 20:00:21

Tony S Vote score: 9201Tony S

£50

The council say we need to change
the headstone on  your mothers grave.

28/02/24 20:51:13, edited: 02/04/24 10:37:34

Thanks all and big shock as not been on much recently (that thing called family getting in the way.) I shall now as a tribute go and buy some flowers the the mother in laws grave. --Tony S
The Wolf Vote score: 21909The Wolf

Nana and Grandad.

11/12/23 8:02:05

John Harrison Vote score: 7089John Harrison

Henry Wrinklier

08/10/23 8:13:00

Sauce Pan Vote score: 259Sauce Pan

Bling bling. Bling bling.

05/10/23 20:08:04

Bling it on. --Willie Johnson
Mark England Vote score: 22658Mark England

Booby Trap

30/09/23 8:06:34

Stephen Bean Vote score: 41505Stephen Bean

Force of habit

31/03/23 20:00:07

Sometimes you just have to bow down to a higher order --Mr Dome
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 12023Scrijjy Doo

Cannibal Lecture

27/01/23 12:10:28

Al Overy Vote score: 19047Al Overy

"My name's Nicholas and I'm an alcoho-ho-holic."

18/10/22 8:01:46

Tony S Vote score: 9201Tony S

Waiting list slashed as NHS introduce drive through Gynecology Clinic.

13/07/22 8:01:44

Al Overy Vote score: 19047Al Overy

Let's toast the winner!

16/11/21 8:00:08

Mark Wilson Vote score: 5185Mark Wilson

£50

"Welcome to Farmyard FM, just gone 7AM and this is for all the turkeys,  its Mariah Careys all I want for Christmas is you"

18/12/20 9:44:36

An alarmingly good caption. Well done, Mark --Vivvy En
The Wolf Vote score: 21909The Wolf

£50

You think your job is depressing?  You wanna try working in the Snowman morgue.

11/03/20 8:00:13

Thank you very much for your votes and kind words. There were some great captions this month so feel very fortunate to win the top prize. I've always found Caption.me a great and fun distraction from the otherwise stressful day to day of life. Th... --The Wolf
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 1457Charles Gilbert

£50

  "No time for questions, just get on!"

26/01/20 21:58:13

Congratulations Charles. Excellent caption, although I've got some questions. No time for them? Ok then I'll just get on... with captioning. --Willie Johnson
John  Glover Vote score: 23223John Glover

"Boris, there's some policemen at the front door?"

23/06/19 20:16:43

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

"This week, on 'Taking a Selfie Using a Galaxy Note 7'..."

15/06/19 12:55:33

C CaMel Vote score: 15438C CaMel

I've never finished a diet either.

11/06/19 20:00:49

Had a similar idea but I decided to vastly over complicate mine and yours reads much better! Great Caption :) --The Wolf
Tina  Flowers Vote score: 663Tina Flowers

These stairs lead down to the best cellar.

21/10/18 20:06:51

I think you might have a winner there. Great caption. --John Glover
C CaMel Vote score: 15438C CaMel

£50

"The toothbrush behind the sink was massive but I managed"

11/05/18 17:23:33

Thanks to Chris for the prize and thank you all for the kind comments! Biggest thanks to the poor bloke in the photo!Cheers all :D  --C CaMel
John Llamas Vote score: 20527John Llamas

Charles did not even flinch as the Swallow flew into his nose.

01/12/16 8:34:50

Well you've now got more for that comment Mark.... --Mr Dome
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

£100

Toed in the hole

16/07/16 8:00:10

Thanks for the nice comments guys.Toad/toed in the hole is one of those captions that occur quite often, I did one a few months before Fraser's, as have other captioners before that. --Welsh Rarebit
Cath Jones Vote score: 38815Cath Jones

Full Petal Jacket.

03/11/15 20:37:53

Ian Skelding Vote score: 33232Ian Skelding

It was a nice gesture by the Bulgarian Police Force to give informer Alexander Keepoff a Memorial.

03/09/15 20:00:10

Mark England Vote score: 22658Mark England

Step, Toe & Sun

12/03/14 12:37:33

Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

🎡 They call me Mr Bum-Plastic...🎡

16/01/13 20:00:51

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 13841Hercules Rockefeller

Joka-Cola

07/04/24 8:04:17

Vivvy En Vote score: 14275Vivvy En

"Might you be pregnant, Tina?"

15/03/24 8:19:44

"Probably, I always seem to get pregnant in March." --James Lennox
The Wolf Vote score: 21909The Wolf

8am - "Dad, I'm going out on a date tonight at 7pm with a guy who is ten years older than me, is in a band, is on the dole and is covered in tattoos including one on his stomach pointing to his genitals saying (get it 'ere)."

7pm.....

04/03/24 12:37:26

Why didn't my daughter ever bring hot blokes like that home? --Karen McDonald
Claire C Vote score: 162Claire C

Magic Beans

07/01/24 20:14:07

C CaMel Vote score: 15438C CaMel

Now in stock.

30/12/23 9:03:08, suggested edits

Brian Butterfield Vote score: 1186Brian Butterfield

Coming Soon

20/10/23 20:00:58

Phil Swan Vote score: 3952Phil Swan

The Post Code Lottery found a new way to tell entrants they hadn't won

26/09/23 8:10:31

Karen McDonald Vote score: 4083Karen McDonald

🎡 Surfin' USB 🎡

04/09/23 12:06:28

Bravo! πŸ˜† --Julia Kinsey
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 15254Neil Mackenzie

You took a fine time to leave me Loose Wheel.

21/08/23 22:28:45

Just Googled the lyrics to 'Not Fade Away' as I could never understand what Mick Jagger was saying here. I much prefer "I'll dry your shoulders if you'll dry my back" to the actual lyric. Maybe you should've been a songwriter Molly. πŸ˜‚ I sometimes  --Karyn Harrison
Boycie Vote score: 7002Boycie

Wait lifting

14/08/23 13:20:25

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