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The Wolf Vote score: 21387The Wolf

Half an hour he's been on those tits now. My Dad's got one hell of an appetite.

22/09/23 11:00:24

Mark England Vote score: 21684Mark England

"Lunch time. What jar is she opening? Please be the apple and custard. Apple and and cust...NOOOO .She's got the fucking prawn cocktail..."

22/09/23 11:36:24

Tony Edwards Vote score: 38459Tony Edwards

The suffering for Sunderland supporters starts early in life.

22/09/23 11:11:02

Mark England Vote score: 21684Mark England

"Can't believe I've been born into a family that supports Sunderland"

22/09/23 11:10:58

Dave Bryan Vote score: 29655Dave Bryan

''You'd be pissed off if you'd spent your whole life growing up under a Tory Government.''

22/09/23 11:49:38

Karyn Harrison Vote score: 9145Karyn Harrison

"Time for Tubby bye-bye. Time for Tubby bye-bye."

'About bloody time. That's ten minutes I'll never get back.'

22/09/23 11:26:45

Dave Bryan Vote score: 29655Dave Bryan

''What's the matter little one? Is something wrong? I think we need to change that horrible smelly nappy.''

''For Christ's sake, will you stop pampering him.''

22/09/23 11:19:56

Stephen Bean Vote score: 35090Stephen Bean

"My best caption of the week... still no vote."

22/09/23 11:09:20

Joe Flannagan Vote score: 33Joe Flannagan

Another baby realises Boris Johnson is their dad.

22/09/23 11:57:43

Ben Samuel Vote score: 1874Ben Samuel

Wally junior is on the verge of giving up trying to find his dad

22/09/23 11:01:51

Vivvy En Vote score: 13041Vivvy En

"Yay, the weekend. I get to watch the siblings at ballet, football and karate and then a visit to the old dear's to be slathered in lipstick."

22/09/23 18:07:20, edited: 22/09/23 18:21:36

Dave Bryan Vote score: 29655Dave Bryan

''I can't believe my bad luck. My mother is Dolly Parton and I'm getting bottle fed.''

22/09/23 12:21:20

Ian Goodyear Ian Goodyear

Either put me back in the womb or give me some clothes. I am freezing

22/09/23 14:34:49

Phil Swan Vote score: 2535Phil Swan

They have decided to name me Dave

22/09/23 13:41:52

Phil Swan Vote score: 2535Phil Swan

They have just announced we’re going vegan

22/09/23 12:34:38

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 14779Neil Mackenzie

Oh bugger I’ve been born into the Western World when it’s going down the pan.

22/09/23 11:49:18

Dave Bryan Vote score: 29655Dave Bryan

''I've got some wonderful news. You're going to have a little brother.''

22/09/23 11:44:25

Mark England Vote score: 21684Mark England

"I swear, if that old bint says Coochie Coochie Coo again I'm gonna puke"

22/09/23 11:18:31

Mr Dome  Vote score: 16723Mr Dome

Sat here in my own piss. Half naked. Wearing a stupid hat. Grumpy as hell. Just like my idol, daddy

22/09/23 11:11:55

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