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Dan Dan

signed up: 8 years, 8 months ago
profile viewed: 3 time(s) this week
caption quota: 10
votes given since joining: 3,192
super vote quota: 11

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Age: 40 Location: Birmingham

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captions

lol

After watching their team lose again, the crowd turned ugly.

07/02/13 12:08:07

or else they're just Man U fans --Tosser Wivlov

The new Paralympic torch.

02/09/12 11:03:49

Spagyetti.

12/11/12 12:00:09

£100
WINNER

"You got a light?"..."I am the light Baby."

11/11/12 20:03:59

Thank you for your kind comments and pm's. It's a privilege just to be part of such a fantastic site and group of people, and like it's been said before, this is the icing on the cake. --Dan Dan

lol

"Dad, why does that balloon in your wallet taste like Strawberries?"

25/08/13 7:00:10

"I found them on Gumtree."

05/04/13 7:00:08

45 Degrees and he's wearing a jumper.

27/11/12 20:01:31

65 Million years B.T.

23/11/12 12:11:12

Life's a beach...And then you die.

16/07/12 19:12:26

"Quick....Someone call 99."

12/07/12 10:00:11

This painting needs hairbrushing.

05/04/12 10:13:21

Magic Johnson & Johnson.

27/08/13 7:00:14

you beat me to this one :( good show!! --Ross Davidson

Spray Tan.

24/09/12 7:00:10

♫ Strawberry yields for Trevor. ♫

06/09/12 19:00:09

lol

Unfortunately, Simon melted 5 minutes later when a gritter came racing past him.

26/03/13 8:13:51

creative

Gun fight at the OK L'oreal.

16/01/13 12:30:13

"Fucking Flies."

15/01/13 20:07:06

"I've used sunbeds all my life and they've never done me any harm." Said Stacey, 19 from Birmingham.

30/09/12 11:00:09

Don't you just hate it when you're stuck behind a slow couch.

01/09/12 19:00:08

Lost Property.

20/02/12 11:00:19

"But before you choose....Here's our Graham with a quick reminder."

04/06/12 20:19:53

Every Sunday the wife does a car boot tale.

19/03/12 20:00:31

Mate Tricks.

06/01/12 11:43:01

The tranny's in for a service.

23/10/11 19:01:58

"We're gonna need a bigger catapult."

30/03/13 20:02:31

Dave came 1st in the fancy dress competition...The jammy c**t.

22/03/13 20:01:38

Oh my God! Brilliant. --Michael Monkhouse

Gran Theft Auto.

12/03/13 12:00:10

"OK, I've hit the space bar, now what..."

21/12/12 8:00:10

"Take it back, I wanted a full English."

14/12/12 20:10:24

Ever since I won the lotto last year, a lot of old faces have been coming out of the woodwork.

07/12/12 8:26:18

Pea-kaboo.

09/11/12 20:03:34

We dry any car.com.

28/09/12 19:00:10

"Isn't the weather lovely in Dune?"

16/08/12 11:00:34

"I think I've been stitched up."

10/08/12 19:00:08

My skittle pony

18/10/14 19:12:14

♬ I'm a fire farter, A twisted fire farter. ♬

12/02/13 20:00:57

Tonight, Eric is going out with his blind date, and to be fair, it's a bloody good job she is.

10/01/13 12:19:47

"Jeffery, please, for the love of God, free my nipple from this horrid contraption."

27/12/12 20:00:09

Toyture Chamber.

26/10/12 7:00:23

"Say Wheeze."

15/09/12 19:07:35

"Shit!...Who's moved the swimming pool?"

06/07/12 19:05:19

Ben couldn't wait to get home and batter his Sausage.

24/05/12 10:00:08

Marge Simpson was never any good at photography.

10/04/12 19:00:17

Emma was trying to Kick the habit.

21/01/12 11:23:20

"FUCK! I forgot about the bloody tunnel."

14/07/13 19:07:53

"Forgive us Father for we have Skinned."

24/03/13 12:42:10

Miss Fire.

15/02/13 8:00:11

Never trust a cannon ball --Tosser Wivlov

Creche Test Dummy.

17/01/13 20:00:09

"Had an accident that weren't your vault?"

04/12/12 8:35:39

"Here's Johnny."

31/10/12 12:00:21

Scare Dryer.

04/07/12 19:05:13

"We buy any core.com."

16/02/12 20:15:32

8 out of 10 cats prefer not to be shot up the arse with a pellet gun.

13/01/12 20:01:22

I know it's straight because I used a spirit level

15/10/14 7:08:36

clever

Emu and Rod.

13/10/14 19:00:46

"No no no, I wanted a toilet duck."

30/08/13 7:04:53

Embarrassingly for Wayne, It wasn't just the temperature of the water that was rising.

08/06/13 19:40:36

lol

"I'm new to this all this baby stuff...It's alien to me."

29/03/13 20:05:36

"Help yourself to something to eat" Victoria Beckham said to her handyman.

13/03/13 12:02:40

"You've missed a Bic."

03/03/13 20:39:36

creative

♫ The Thai is high but he's holding on. ♫

06/02/13 18:39:12

Pete and 2 Veg.

17/11/12 8:00:07

"Hold the lion please."

15/11/12 20:00:09

Great legs, nice bush too.

11/11/12 8:00:09

Wallapy.

05/11/12 20:00:10

...And the locals said this new bus service would never take off.

28/10/12 8:00:09

Despite hard evidence, Kermit denied all allegations that he was on Coke.

23/10/12 11:14:48

Drag racing.

15/09/12 11:01:11

"Here's a throw for your new settee."

03/09/12 11:00:10

"I can see yew."

14/06/12 19:00:08

Juan born every minute.

30/05/12 19:00:07

♫ you're gonna fine me....Out in the Country. ♫

18/05/12 19:22:19

16/05/12 19:06:38

15/05/12 19:27:39

14/04/12 19:46:11

06/04/12 19:00:18

Congratulations Mrs Smith....It's twins.

03/04/12 19:00:51

Typical, you wait ages for a dead sparrow then 2 come along at once.

21/03/12 11:00:41

Check Mates.

11/03/12 11:00:26

Magnifying Lass.

23/02/12 20:00:11

The car park's free but there's dog shit everywhere.

14/12/11 20:01:19

Corn on the knob.

20/11/11 11:00:09

Right now Patch regretted being a sniffer dog.

14/11/11 11:01:05

"And you'll feel the water go warm in 3, 2, 1..

08/10/14 11:00:40

Is that because he's going to pee? --John Glover

lol

It's 90 degrees in the shade, and he's wearing a vest!

05/10/14 11:14:33

A cracking night out. A good curry and a bit of pussy.

22/09/13 20:08:57

Finger licking good --David Devine

lol

"Let's see you 'meep meep' past me ya lanky bastard."

05/09/13 19:00:10

creative

It's only 9% truth.

05/09/13 7:05:01

Truth instead of true? --Mr Blonde

For sale: Lovely little house...Comes with a drive.

31/03/13 19:05:10

A little higher and we'd be able to see his bag/pipe.

27/03/13 20:06:36

"Dad, I heard Mommy on the phone telling Auntie Mandy she's caught syphilis. Can we try and catch a syphilis please?"

20/12/12 20:00:09

"Some bastard has keyed my car."

20/12/12 8:06:33

A shite at the opera.

14/12/12 12:06:42

"We look a right pair of twats."

13/12/12 8:02:07

♫ ♫ The tide is Thai but I'm holding on...

18/11/12 12:20:33

..."But the doctor said we need to try and get in shape."

13/10/12 11:00:11

3 Men and a maybe.

09/10/12 19:35:13

No one was armed in the making of this photo.

21/08/12 19:02:59

The Beach Boys.

16/08/12 11:00:08

The driver obviously lost their Focus.

12/06/12 19:00:08

Despite her situation, Helen didn't seamstressed.

04/06/12 10:00:36

Morph In Mindy.

21/03/12 20:00:17

Peking Duck.

20/03/12 20:00:13

Actually, they couldn't stand the height of each other.

29/02/12 11:09:41

Nick on LSD.

27/02/12 20:02:06

No Polly! I said put the "kettle" on.

10/02/12 20:00:13

PG Tits.

09/02/12 11:00:12

Puffin.

02/12/11 20:00:28

Gran Theft Auto.

29/11/11 11:00:09

"Phuket, I'm wet anyway!"

26/10/11 10:01:04

B.M.Xhale.

13/11/13 12:00:46

"Sorry mate, I've scuffed your wing."

25/09/13 11:08:27

And to think of the money I've let slip through my fingers.

07/09/13 19:00:08

Slowped.

26/03/13 8:00:08

lol

"Thanks Jim, but you can shove your 'Bully's star prize' up your arse."

12/01/13 8:04:34

"I hate all these spin offs."

08/01/13 8:17:07

Drag racing.

03/01/13 20:01:00

"I keep telling her it's broke, but does your Mothercare?"

28/12/12 20:13:27

World War Poo.

15/12/12 8:01:56

♫ Hangman Style. ♫

13/12/12 20:17:15

Keith was rushed to hospital where he remains in a stable condition.

04/12/12 20:17:13

After being quizzed by cops, the driver later admitted he was stoned.

23/09/12 19:00:08

"Jesus, I need to open windows."

09/09/12 11:11:33

After hearing that the plane had been hijacked, the pilots went Ape.

01/09/12 11:06:45

A fork in mess.

30/07/12 19:14:23

Sadly, Don died, but at least they put a good spread on for him.

27/06/12 19:41:36

"Mi name Gavin from Autoglass, dem fools crusin' wid chip in dem windscreen"......

09/06/12 10:01:28

Had to take the kids to school today on my work trolley because the bloody wife slammed the motor into the garage door yesterday.

23/04/12 19:02:52

"Is it because I lied when I was 17?"

25/03/12 10:07:22

Donald, Where's her trousers?.

20/03/12 20:00:33

Mr squirrel was freezing his nuts off.

28/01/12 20:01:05

The fattest gun in the west.

21/01/12 20:01:41

Man United.

21/12/11 20:18:46

Every morning the neighbours had to put up with Dawn's chorus.

21/12/11 13:35:42

Cat Litter.

18/12/11 20:10:35

My favourite photo of gran, well it would have been if i'd applied the brake on her wheelchair.

11/12/11 20:01:10

Typical you don't get a bus for ages then 3 come along at once.

07/12/11 20:04:27

Wash and Goa.

28/11/11 11:06:24

Jessica was a little diva.

21/10/14 7:04:08

"Shit, we've forgot the diet coke."

16/09/13 7:03:04

Monsters Ink.

10/09/13 7:00:10

This is supposed to be 4 star, it's a bloody shithole.

01/09/13 19:08:40

Instead of (it's a bloody shithole.) what about it's a fuel dump? --Neil Mackenzie

26/08/13 11:03:27

25/08/13 11:07:35

27/07/13 19:22:43

08/07/13 19:00:12

"I used to do 2 of these at the same time when I were lass, Denzil and Winston their names...Nearly split me in two they did. Ah, the good old days."

29/03/13 8:01:11

It was unusual for a cat to like puppies.

28/03/13 12:05:43

"To shift stubborn grime, I use Clit Bang."

22/03/13 20:11:03

For the new year, Chan treated himself to a personal Trainer.

19/01/13 20:00:09

This is a Neighbourhood Watch Area.

11/01/13 12:11:38

"For the last time, I'm not a fucking pumpkin."

04/01/13 20:14:12

When living in Scotland, it's always nice to have one ready ... Just in case.

05/12/12 20:06:01

Motor-Tike.

04/12/12 12:10:19

Dean was looking down and out, but at least he had a pot to piss in.

02/12/12 12:01:39

Dialosaur.

23/11/12 12:00:37

"Talk to the hand, cus the face ain't listening."

19/11/12 12:00:09

Siamese Mittens.

18/11/12 8:00:26

The Rim Reaper.

06/11/12 8:00:18

"Put your money where your muff is."

28/10/12 20:00:08

"Women...You can't live with them, but you can't live without them."

25/10/12 7:26:28

The Catwalk.

10/10/12 11:05:15

Laughing Stock.

26/09/12 7:00:16

Batman shows the side effects of being on grass.

18/09/12 19:00:09

"OK Ted, you win the farting contest."

18/09/12 11:06:51

Auf Wiedersehen Pet.

10/09/12 19:17:36

"I'm China think of a caption for this, and the harder I Thai.....Ah, Phuket.

30/08/12 19:29:21

Shag pile.

23/08/12 19:00:42

The pricing on the cake.

18/07/12 19:20:48

Staff at Barclays doing what they do best....Lying.

11/07/12 19:00:10

David Copper Feel.

31/05/12 19:15:01

We ply any car.com.

29/05/12 19:13:46

After being quizzed over illegal taxi driving, Mohammed claimed he wasn't in it for the Prophet.

23/05/12 19:00:09

Snacks and Ladders.

07/05/12 18:27:33

Chris Waddle.

29/04/12 19:00:18

"Get your creosote.....You've pulled."

27/04/12 19:00:12

Cum dry with me.

16/04/12 19:38:42

Rump on stilts kin.

15/04/12 19:00:09

"I've been on weight watchers for the last 2 months....And he's by far the best I've seen yet."

06/04/12 10:50:49

Some of my captions are very similar to fishing.....I sit here for bloody hours waiting for something to happen and nothing.

26/03/12 19:57:03

Camp Sight.

22/02/12 11:01:13

Look what the cat dragged out.

18/12/11 20:00:29

Gran reaper.

09/11/11 20:00:13

A Scare Slow.

19/10/14 11:00:14

Gone are the days when it was just a donkey ride on the beach.

16/12/13 20:10:39

Gran theft auto.

25/09/13 19:00:21

It takes a beer for Cedric to come out of his shell.

23/09/13 19:00:10

"I should never have come to Benidorm with that fat twat."

02/09/13 19:14:21

"Well your Mom said she wanted an Ex Tractor Fan in the kitchen.

06/01/13 20:18:22

"Please, just throw in the towel."

31/12/12 20:04:11

Shock as Saville is found alive and well in Thailand.

31/12/12 12:03:00

"I'm goin gnome tomorrow."

23/12/12 12:00:13

The brochure said that there was a cracking view from the pool.

29/11/12 12:09:19

Laura caught her opponent with a right hook.

06/10/12 7:02:45

These dirty girls love a big black glock.

04/10/12 19:02:05

To tidy up the body work Jim uses 'fix a dent'.

04/10/12 11:00:32

Chatter chatter bang bang.

04/10/12 11:00:10

Kurd Crawler.

03/10/12 19:00:12

"To me" "To you" "To me" "To you"...."That's how we operate."

12/09/12 19:00:09

Hung, Drawn and Quartered.

12/08/12 19:10:55

more captions

last comments (total: 195)

Hi Neil, As it's had a few votes It's probably best not to change it. Cheers though wink

(caption author)

02/09/13
6:27pm

comment on caption:
This is supposed to be 4 star, it's a bloody shithole. [Dan Dan]

Truth instead of true?

Mr Blonde

05/09/13
7:44am

comment on caption:
It's only 9% truth. [Dan Dan]

:-)

(caption author)

05/09/13
8:19am

comment on caption:
It's only 9% truth. [Dan Dan]

A small change but a BIG difference. Cheers Blondie.

(caption author)

05/09/13
3:05pm

comment on caption:
It's only 9% truth. [Dan Dan]

Finger licking good

David Devine

22/09/13
8:14pm

comment on caption:
A cracking night out. A good curry and a bit of pussy. [Dan Dan]

'Chain smoker' edited down would get my vote, great stuff :)

Michael Winner

14/11/13
10:19am

comment on caption:
Pedro's a chain smoker. [Dan Dan]

Even harder at night.

John Glover

07/10/14
5:41pm

comment on caption:
This photo is a Mare to caption [Dan Dan]

at knight? wink

Guideaux

07/10/14
6:06pm

comment on caption:
This photo is a Mare to caption [Dan Dan]

Is that because he's going to pee?

John Glover

08/10/14
1:44pm

comment on caption:
"And you'll feel the water go warm in 3, 2, 1.. [Dan Dan]

Yes John wink

(caption author)

08/10/14
2:33pm

comment on caption:
"And you'll feel the water go warm in 3, 2, 1.. [Dan Dan]

more comments

Dan Dan

best latest latest and best captions

last comments (total: 195)

captions