Click a photo to add a caption.
"I've just had a shit in the woods.""Nice one. But couldn't you have wiped your bum, Linda?"
02/02/22 8:47:21
"Mittens, honey, I've got good news and bad. The good news is I have that pesky mouse cornered..."
01/02/22 20:10:14
''She can be a right little primer donna.''
30/01/22 8:17:31
It's only a matter of time before someone takes her down the aisle.
29/01/22 20:50:07
It was tough being Linda McCartney's cat
27/01/22 8:20:13
Cold Play.
26/01/22 20:07:33
"F-cking charming. Spend all morning up her fanny and now this..."
24/01/22 12:02:12
I don't know why Fluffy chose that Christopher Walken rucksack, it's much too big for him.
21/01/22 12:24:15
It's not nice seeing a Transformer when it's pissed.
21/01/22 8:16:12
It was an unfortunate way to find out her mother had a prosthetic arm.
18/01/22 20:39:06
16/01/22 16:24:15
"I hear their customer service really sucks."
08/01/22 8:07:03
''Goo, goo, goo.''''I didn't quite catch that, Mr Trump.''
31/12/21 12:15:20
Health club members complete the easiest-ever jigsaw.
30/12/21 12:42:56
Rick decided not to complain, but instead changed his meal choices to beef casserole and sticky toffee pudding.
20/12/21 9:05:58
''Come here, Billy. You've got face on your chocolate.''
17/12/21 20:04:21
“Sis, guess what? I’ve found where Mum and Dad have been hiding our Christmas presents, they’re under their bed. Meet my new best friend. I also found a purple wand and some marbles on a string.”
09/12/21 12:00:37
Terence turned to the paper as there was nothing interesting on the web.
07/12/21 8:00:10
"Who's on the till tonight?""Stew."
06/12/21 20:01:37
But when I do it, I'm a terrible person.
06/12/21 12:56:21
Smother Goose
04/12/21 20:14:28
Outside Chris Beach's house. Tuesday 30th November 2021."What's this wire that says 'voting'? That can't be doing anything..."
03/12/21 8:06:12
Spring is in the air
28/11/21 8:39:20
''Darling, where did you buy the new draught excluder?''
27/11/21 12:02:25
"Different species; similar jeans."
24/11/21 12:02:40
Call me old fashioned but I preferred the old BBC test card.
22/11/21 12:31:18
Late knight shopping
22/11/21 8:00:35
"It's from the hairdressers. It says, Dear Mr and Mrs Samuels. Due to an administration error, you were both given the same hair cuts. We appreciate the distress this can cause and we're happy to offer a refund. Alternatively, we could give Mrs Samuels a matching beard."
20/11/21 10:11:58
Puss in Beats
19/11/21 12:02:14
18/11/21 20:55:47
“You can almost see the rim.”
18/11/21 12:03:29
"Where on earth is the bow?""At the front."
17/11/21 9:04:49
Unfortunately the prize expired before he did.
16/11/21 8:03:31
Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
12/11/21 8:14:57
"Excuse me, could your child stop blowing those dandelions now"
11/11/21 8:29:24
Big Cat Dairy
09/11/21 8:42:15
Jack the Nipper
06/11/21 8:00:10
"Here we are now with Champion Grower, Percy Smith. Now, Percy, how do you get your veg so amazingly big?""Well, we live nextdoor to Boris Johnson, so we've got an unlimited supply of horseshi...""Thank you, Percy!"
05/11/21 8:02:58
"Is there a deluxe version with a tongue?"(Asking for a friend)
03/11/21 12:39:41
"I'll have what he's having."
03/11/21 8:01:36
The Invisible Man still has nightmares about the time he caught Spiderman masturbating.
30/10/21 9:04:25
''Your pad or mine?''
29/10/21 11:01:23
People say that since lockdown, Father Brown has become a bit of a hermit
23/10/21 19:06:29
"Next door's baby kept me up all bloody night!"
22/10/21 11:00:15
Baby on board
20/10/21 11:00:22
I don't get it
17/10/21 19:12:42
"I'd prefer a death roll."
16/10/21 7:07:40
"And don't even get me started on the young cats today. Did you see Mittens yesterday? Waving her arse around at every Tom, Dick and Harry. Wouldn't have gotten away with that in my day. I once went out to a party without my collar on and I got the back of my dad's paw. EXCUSE ME LOVE, TWO MORE SAUCERS OF MILK PLEASE...I can't seem to get the taste of my own arse out of my mouth today. Have you been watching Strictly?"
13/10/21 19:05:23
Wheezy rider
13/10/21 7:00:49
Good news! The members of caption.me have all chipped in to help solve your problem! Here's 942 cats.
11/10/21 19:06:35
After months of negotiations, preventing all out intergalactic war came down to one simple action.
07/10/21 11:49:45
Beaglejuice
07/10/21 7:35:34
"Y'know what, just leave the nose hairs today. Thanks."
04/10/21 7:01:23
"Hey, David, I got that restraining order for a reason."
03/10/21 7:01:48
"No comment"
02/10/21 14:03:22
If you're new to caption.me, you need to know that cats are very big round here.
01/10/21 11:00:09
''If you take your time, son, you'll have more chance of finding the vein.''Kids shoot up so quickly these days.
20/09/21 7:01:47
In vain, I tried to chat up the Owl Woman on the bus. Thinking about it, I was a twit to woo her.
14/09/21 7:08:41
"Yes, I can see the problem with your roof. We can certainly cure that."
13/09/21 11:33:38
''He says he performs at children's parties, Sarge. What should I do?''''Book him.''
13/09/21 7:09:22
''We don't have to watch the TV, darling. An interesting conversation would be a pleasant change.''''OK, I'll wake the dog up.''
12/09/21 7:52:50
Unexpected item in cabbage area
10/09/21 19:02:07
"Your mum and I wanted you to have your own space."
09/09/21 19:00:08
''Before I answer any more questions I want a lawyer.''''Why?''''I'm hungry.''
07/09/21 19:52:22
To be fair "sit" and "shit" sound pretty similar.
01/09/21 20:05:24
"Mirror mirror on the wall...."
26/08/21 7:25:05
"What have you never seen a Piranha in drag before? I'm off to the Rio Carnival"
21/08/21 7:20:27
"Come on big boy I want you now!""Having a bit of trouble swallowing the Viagra pill"
20/08/21 19:03:37
"Right Mr Fawkes. Where have you hidden the two barrels of gunpowder?"
19/08/21 12:15:44
When you want to write 'wire cutters, a couple of hundred bucks and some fake ID' but can't because the prison guards might get suspicious.
14/08/21 7:00:40
''Ten euros is a lot of money. I only paid five euros for the last one.''
13/08/21 19:10:59
Kindly neighbours gather in support as an anti-vaxxer gets Covid.
10/08/21 11:01:01
"Maybe we shouldn't have read the will yet, but it was just too tempting."
10/08/21 11:00:10
“I knew I should’ve asked Mommy to take me to school.”
09/08/21 7:05:36
Supermarket Sleep.
07/08/21 19:03:51
"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in."
06/08/21 19:00:26
"Okay so we've been chasing vehicles for years and we've finally caught one so now what do we do?"
31/07/21 7:27:57
"Humans are idiots.. panic buying and hoarding food"
28/07/21 7:05:43
Foot notes
25/07/21 19:00:28
''Did you fly here?''''No, I came by rail.''
25/07/21 7:35:59
"You're going down!"
20/07/21 11:20:15
''It's the plumber. I've told him to come up.''
19/07/21 7:25:29
"Your face or mine?"
18/07/21 11:40:37
Who said romance is dead... Oh, hang on...
17/07/21 11:03:26
11/07/21 19:00:09
"Madam, we appreciate you donating your unwanted toys to the Samaritans but..."
11/07/21 11:51:35
Davy Jones' Leica
07/07/21 12:13:19
Gordon The Golfer
04/07/21 7:00:13
There's always 1 fully committed smoker.
30/06/21 19:00:08
Friar Tech
28/06/21 7:00:33
"I told you to fix that squeaky wheel."
26/06/21 11:00:05
They are desperate for a leek(Nod to 12.07.09)
25/06/21 11:13:42
"I still see them on the weekends and help them with their writing."
25/06/21 7:05:36
Cats are solitairey animals.
24/06/21 19:00:06
You spoil that maggot.
23/06/21 11:08:56
''And that's how you work out your weekly caption quota.''
22/06/21 11:37:46
It turned out Clarence's tanning lotion was from a factory that also handled peanuts.
17/06/21 19:23:28
Cats are a lot like men. They'll spend hours watching TV just on the off chance that they will get a glimpse of a tit.
16/06/21 7:43:12
The Angel of the North Americas
09/06/21 7:03:12
Welsh prostitute washes her mouth out in between clients.
08/06/21 11:19:21
