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Who said romance is dead... Oh, hang on...
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Al Overy Vote score: 6849Al Overy

Who said romance is dead... Oh, hang on...

17/07/21 12:03:26

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15838Dan Nicholls

Row-hypnol

17/07/21 13:41:50

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13281The Wolf

"All I said was 'So what do you British people actually think about Brexit?'.."

17/07/21 12:10:45

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 17959Stephen Bean

"Don't worry, I won't wake them up."

"Not when I can charge them 80 euros for every half an hour they sleep."

17/07/21 12:02:47

 
Tony S Vote score: 2804Tony S

RIP Gloria ..... gondola but not forgotten.

17/07/21 12:02:36

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3466Mark Wilson

"Worst threesome I've ever had"

17/07/21 12:47:28

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2961Willie Johnson

I won't say this ride is long, but those two were in their twenties when the ride began.

17/07/21 12:45:20

 1
Is it a spin off from that new M. Night Shamalayan film? Here today, gondalier tomorrow --Glyn Evans
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3466Mark Wilson

So it's Oxford first, Cambridge second, and Bromley adult learning college third in this years boat race.

17/07/21 12:39:28

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5620Kenny Ireland

"Oddio! What are the odds on that. Two people dying of carbon monoxide in the one day. I wish I had taken a punt".

17/07/21 13:10:51

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24907Michael Winner

"So we thought, there are no tourists due to lockdown, furlough isn't working, the cemetaries are full, so why not?"

17/07/21 12:14:35

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24907Michael Winner

'Why not take a holiday with Dignitas? Return ticket not available.'

17/07/21 12:12:17

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34339Tony Edwards

The second honeymoon is never as good as the first.

17/07/21 12:06:46

 
Nina Dutton Vote score: 637Nina Dutton

"I think they may be a little old for the tunnel of love. They'd had it after 2 minutes."

17/07/21 13:13:34

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15811Dave Bryan

'Death In Venice'

17/07/21 12:13:25

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8539Hercules Rockefeller

Stream of Unconsciousness

17/07/21 12:23:41

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25588Ian Skelding

"Luigi, did you forget to sing Nessum Dorma again?"

17/07/21 12:22:37

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13281The Wolf

"...and to your right you'll see the Rialto Bridge"

Ambulances in Venice aren't the most efficient.

17/07/21 12:19:01

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34339Tony Edwards

This is Bill and Edna's dream holiday.

17/07/21 12:13:45

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6849Al Overy

Snooze Cruise

17/07/21 12:02:27

 
Ryan F Vote score: 137Ryan F

Don't know why you're smiling John, if you keep boring the customers to death we'll be out of business and you'll be back on the football pitch.

18/07/21 15:26:17

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 12004Neil Mackenzie

Doris was Dave’s childhood sweetheart but her family had moved. They ended up married to different people. By chance Dave had met her while buying a wreath for his wife, she was buying one for her late husband.
They exchanged numbers and after the funerals, Dave took Doris to Venice. They couldn’t wait to sleep together.

17/07/21 22:44:33

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8098Vivvy En

Mario, worst tour guide in Venice but popular with the insomniacs

17/07/21 16:36:19

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15811Dave Bryan

''What happened?''

''We go into canal pizza restaurant. Waiter say, 'You want topping?' They say, 'Yes'.''

17/07/21 16:14:38

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21842John Glover

"As we were going through the tunnel, he let out an enormous fart, she yelled OH NO, ... and there you are."

17/07/21 15:28:24

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8297Glyn Evans

"I didn't have the heart to tell them that there's no maniacal dwarf running about in a red coat..."

17/07/21 14:15:55

 
Barrie Bullock Vote score: 735Barrie Bullock

He catches Z's & she catches flys.

17/07/21 14:11:24

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2961Willie Johnson

"We secretly switched the partners of two couples while they were asleep on the ride. Let's see if they notice.

17/07/21 12:59:48

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 17959Stephen Bean

Holi-day of the Dead

17/07/21 12:48:27

 
Tony S Vote score: 2804Tony S

"I couldn't tell you what happened back there in the tunnel I am a venetian blind."

17/07/21 12:42:05

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13281The Wolf

I wish these old pissed up tourists would stop sitting on the edge of the bridges...thought Alessandro as he was about to call it a day with his empty Gondola...

17/07/21 12:31:37

 
Nina Dutton Vote score: 637Nina Dutton

"Right, smile at the camera, then we'll start your boat ride."

17/07/21 12:31:21

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3466Mark Wilson

"Psst, is he still there?"

"Yeah,but you sure he's trying to sell us onions?

17/07/21 12:28:31

 
Tony S Vote score: 2804Tony S

It was the 1st time Mavis was double jabbed since she had the vaccination.

17/07/21 12:27:52

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6099Karyn Harrison

Death on the Grand Canal

17/07/21 12:25:08

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3466Mark Wilson

"Well I did warn them to stay away from the light"

17/07/21 12:23:44

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25588Ian Skelding

They've just arrived at the drop off point.

17/07/21 12:19:07

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21536Troompa Loompa

The Gran Canal

17/07/21 12:16:35

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21536Troompa Loompa

A Grandmafia hit

17/07/21 12:16:26

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21536Troompa Loompa

Sleeping with the fishes.

17/07/21 12:15:15

 
Tony S Vote score: 2804Tony S

A gentle punt around the Venice canals has changed since they went for a younger market and put in a 100ft drop at the end of the ride.

17/07/21 12:14:09

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25588Ian Skelding

Seniorade

17/07/21 12:12:15

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24907Michael Winner

You snooze, you cruise.

17/07/21 12:11:02

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25588Ian Skelding

"Venice this available for hire?"

17/07/21 12:11:01

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1337alexandra ball

The smiling assassin.

17/07/21 12:07:17

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8539Hercules Rockefeller

Charon had to settle for working the Tunnel of Love because nothing else was available.

17/07/21 12:04:22

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6849Al Overy

"Wake us up Venice teatime."

17/07/21 12:03:55

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6849Al Overy

🎵 O snorer mio!

17/07/21 12:02:50

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6849Al Overy

Incontinence Punts: Ideal for that wee break.

17/07/21 12:02:40

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25588Ian Skelding

"It'll probably be a while before they will be able to nail down his coffin lid."

17/07/21 12:02:34

 
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