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Coming of age
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Coming of age

new entrySun 20:44:34


I don't get it

new entrySun 20:12:42


"Hee, hee, have you anything for under 18's?"
"Sure kid, the hankies are over there."

new entrySun 20:05:27


"Do you have anything for 60 year olds?"

"Yes, Madam. The 'Little Book of Caption Tips' is over there, by the slippers."

new entrySun 20:00:20


"Yes Sir, the '30s' range, also known as a packet of Craig Davids."

new entrySun 21:14:14


Look Dad, packs of birthday badges.

Packs ? Oh brilliant, grab a load.

new entrySun 23:43:47


"I'm pretty sure you're supposed to use them Rick, not collect them mate."

new entrySun 21:24:06


"Thanks for the condoms you sent me for my birthday bruv, I didn't think you knew about that sort of thing?"
"I don't, dad suggested it, it said you stick your prick in em. So I pricked each one to save you the trouble."

new entry0:42:12


I always used rubbers to eliminate my mistakes, the older I get the less mistakes I make.

new entrySun 21:40:54


We need to sort out the advertising campaign as everytime we tell the youngsters now to take protection on a date they take a f@cking mask.

new entrySun 20:28:46


I could never have eaten that much bubble gum as a teen.

new entrySun 20:04:10


"Yes. I get sex regularly" they all said.

new entry10:47:42


Fact of the day.

Older people have more sex than young people. It's just the older you get, you become less hygienic and you're more likely to own a decent dishwasher.

new entrySun 20:46:57


"Bonne Anniversaire!"

new entrySun 20:41:37


"Don't forget to blow out your candles"

new entrySun 20:40:48


No wonder they say that your 60's are the happiest time of your life.

new entrySun 20:40:35


Oddly, the older I get the more condoms I go through ... I think it's because the rubber deteriorates with age.

new entrySun 20:37:36


My wife gave me 2 birthday presents this year. First she hired a young man to do the gardens, and then I found these "18 year old's" novelty condoms!

new entrySun 20:35:23


It would be even happier without a condom.

new entrySun 20:32:57


Birthdays and condoms don't mix.

new entrySun 20:27:08


Ensuring you're never late

new entrySun 20:24:16


Stupid me, I bought the 18 ones by mistake, what a cock up that was.

new entrySun 20:20:11


Age... the difference between a stick up and a hold up

new entrySun 20:16:13


In principle I agree with speed awareness chewing gum but it was absolutely disgusting!

new entrySun 20:13:15


98% effective at preventing birthday bumps.

new entrySun 20:12:05


No good for me, I'm over in seconds

new entrySun 20:10:37


This is when I stopped doing my shopping at the 2nd hand store.

new entrySun 20:07:33

new entrySun 20:06:53


Glad to see the teens leave plenty of time to get their captions in.

new entrySun 20:05:14


When I heard about delivery issues I must admit to panic buying so if anyone would like my 2021 one it's yours .

new entrySun 20:03:32


Johnny on the spot
Johnny be good
Johnny come lately
Johnny remember me

new entrySun 20:02:03


"I'll have the set on the right", said the captioneer. "Are they easy to blow up?"

"Why yes", said the shopkeeper, "but why do you want to blow it up?"

"I like having a balloon at my birthday parties", said the captioneer.

new entrySun 20:01:21


Outrageous. I totally condom ageism!

new entrySun 20:00:18

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