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Vivvy En Vote score: 8347Vivvy En

"No comment"

02/10/21 15:03:22

That's what they all say --Glyn Evans
Al Overy Vote score: 8220Al Overy

"Course, we used to run the East End, me and Ronnie."

02/10/21 12:00:20

Now it's the Aclams family  --Glyn Evans
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 4107Scrijjy Doo


02/10/21 15:50:21

Mark Wilson Vote score: 3780Mark Wilson

"It's simple, humans don't care about pollution in the oceans, just 5 captions ago I saw a couple and their dog on a polystyrene boat trip"

02/10/21 12:43:25

Dave Bryan Vote score: 17217Dave Bryan

''I'm trying to find Minehead beach.''

''Sorry mate, wrong channel.''

02/10/21 12:34:44

Tony S Vote score: 3008Tony S

The spokesperson for Crayfish Rights Activists defends their tactic to block the M25 even after all it's members were squashed under the wheels of unaware drivers.

02/10/21 12:13:55

GeeDee Vote score: 2967GeeDee

Are you a Langoustine ?
No, Lad I am only fluent in English

03/10/21 8:24:29

Chris Keegan Vote score: 10764Chris Keegan

The quality of guests on The Jonathan Ross Show sink to a new all time low.

02/10/21 15:36:44

Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6425Karyn Harrison

"Fancy coming to stay at River Cottage? I can offer you shelter from this abysmal weather and a nice hot soak."

"Piss off Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall. I know your game!"

02/10/21 12:25:06

Ian Skelding Vote score: 26231Ian Skelding

"What's your status?"

02/10/21 12:16:56

Al Overy Vote score: 8220Al Overy

"No. I don't like North American Crayfish. They come over here, giving it all that!" (gestures with pincers)

02/10/21 12:01:02

Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6425Karyn Harrison

"How does it feel to have been offered the lead role in the West End production of War Horse?"

"I'm delighted. Casting directors are so much more inclusive here than in the States. I'm auditioning for the part of Kevin the Carrot in the new Aldi commercial as well. So, claws crossed!"

02/10/21 12:58:48

stone face Vote score: 10110stone face

"So your contract says you have to show your pincers to the media, in any weather."

"Yes, it's a get out claws."

02/10/21 12:28:42

stone face Vote score: 10110stone face

"So Mr Cray, why did you split up with your long time supermodel girlfriend?

"She accused me of being too shellfish."

02/10/21 12:25:18

Al Overy Vote score: 8220Al Overy

"I remember when this was all just walruses."

02/10/21 12:24:24

alexandra ball Vote score: 1450alexandra ball

Yea I think I'm ready to come out of my shell.

02/10/21 12:07:11

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