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"Hey, David, I got that restraining order for a reason."
"Hey, David, I got that restraining order for a reason." photo | portfolio
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Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8760Hercules Rockefeller

"Hey, David, I got that restraining order for a reason."

03/10/21 8:01:48

 1
"Yeah, it's called a Nature Reserve, now leave me alone""No!" --Glyn Evans
Al Overy Vote score: 8218Al Overy

"The blotchy skin, the leathery appearance. Gosh, this creature must be over 100 years old!", remarked the turtle.

03/10/21 8:00:10

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13638The Wolf

"Right you prick. The cameras are gonna start rolling in a minute so do something interesting for f-ck sake. You're f-cking useless and..."

"ACTION"

"Look at this beautiful creature. I feel so fortunate to be here with him"

03/10/21 8:40:23

 
Al Overy Vote score: 8218Al Overy

"Excuse me but you're lying on my beach towel."

03/10/21 8:02:40

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 19331Stephen Bean

"I remember you, you're the git that rambled on in a really excited voice when I was born and tried to get to the sea. I suppose it was you who arranged for that bloody orchestra to play dramatic music while I was being attacked by a seagull. Well, no thanks to you, I got away you bastard!"

03/10/21 8:00:53

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 19331Stephen Bean

WARNING - UNFUNNY CAPTION
"Oi, if you want to do something useful instead of lying around, can you help get the plastic bags out of my stomach. I'm f-cking starving."

03/10/21 8:01:38

 5
I like how you attached the warning. Should all unfunny captions now come with a warning? What if someone finds them funny?  --Glyn Evans
Al Overy Vote score: 8218Al Overy

Attenborough won first prize for his stunning sand sculpture.

03/10/21 8:00:48

 
stone face Vote score: 10110stone face

"Every friggin year... I struggle up this beach to lay me eggs..and there you are, pontificating about how lonely my struggle is..Well it would be lonely without your fifteen strong friggin film crew...Every friggin year."

03/10/21 8:43:48

 
stone face Vote score: 10110stone face

"Which one are you again...Donatello?"

03/10/21 8:36:27

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17216Dave Bryan

🎵 Happy Together 🎵

03/10/21 8:00:58

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8347Vivvy En

"Oh, for goodness' sake, David... WILL YOU SPEAK UP?"

03/10/21 9:21:44

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12520Mr Dome

'After....24 days at sea, making a journey of three THOUSand miles, she eventually arrives at her destination. Tired, malnourished and looking like she is in need of a good meal, welcome to Cornwall, Greta'

03/10/21 8:30:32

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 19331Stephen Bean

"Every year this perv shows up and films my privates while I lay my eggs. At least he probably doesn't show the film to anyone else."

03/10/21 8:00:18

 
John  Glover Vote score: 22049John Glover

"You see how I lay my eggs in the deep hole David, then I cover them with sand. Would you be kind enough to do the same when you have finished having a crap."

03/10/21 13:53:52

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3780Mark Wilson

"So did the earth move for you?"

"I've had better, David"

03/10/21 11:13:08

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6093Tosser Wivlov

This is Timmy. We first met when he was only a few inches long.

03/10/21 9:55:59

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 25325Michael Winner

*whisper* "I've fallen and I can't get up."

03/10/21 9:16:54

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1450alexandra ball

There's that old geezer again, does he not holiday anywhere else?

03/10/21 9:01:52

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 16242Dan Nicholls

Old age mutant ninja turtle.
(Nod to 8.36.27)

03/10/21 8:52:22

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8347Vivvy En

"So, Dave, are you thinking of retiring any time soon?"

03/10/21 8:51:10

 
stone face Vote score: 10110stone face

"Are you a Leatherback?"

"Yes, sadly. Probably down to all those years lying on my arse in bat caves."

03/10/21 8:40:39

 
stone face Vote score: 10110stone face

"They asked me about my thoughts on closely monitoring you.
I said, am turtely against it."

03/10/21 8:38:31

 
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