Click a photo to add a caption.
One of the most difficult jobs in the world is to give a sick whale a suppository.
16/01/20 20:16:12
This is incredible , if you screw your eyes up, tilt your head slightly to one side and totally concentrate on the image, after about 5 minutes you'll feel a sharp slap on the back of the head and the missus screaming "you're not on that bloody caption thing again!"
14/01/20 12:17:31
Charm offensive
29/12/19 8:41:56
Grate Expectations.
27/12/19 20:00:11
- are you a wookie?- no I am an experienced wobot
19/12/19 8:44:08
Time Lord.
14/12/19 10:46:08
Whaddya mean, you fancied me more in the rubber suit?
12/12/19 12:00:08
"Darling, when I suggested putting a Garland in the window I was actually thinking of something a bit more Christmassy"
06/12/19 12:00:49
"Gynaecologist?""Close. Pussy doctor."
05/11/19 8:01:50
Don't worry Don, we'll Photoshop the PlayStation controller out.
02/11/19 14:04:28
After eating a whole group of monkeys, Susan washed the feast down with a few beers.
28/10/19 20:13:45
I said leave him at the coroner
11/10/19 7:21:14
£50
08/10/19 7:24:53
''Can I have some mice in it?''
22/08/19 7:00:24
"I got rid of that frog in my throat, but I'm still a little hoarse"
16/08/19 11:04:54
Two turds off in the sale.
09/08/19 11:02:38
It just requires a garage to keep the Rolls
30/07/19 9:45:36
The worst case of writers block I have ever seen.
06/07/19 11:22:11
"When Bob asked me to marry him, I explained to him that my children and I come as a package."
30/06/19 19:00:07
Bucket and Spayed
28/06/19 19:13:37
Jack Knickerless
24/06/19 11:54:05
JC and the Sunshine Band
10/06/19 11:01:07
Bacon and legs
31/05/19 19:47:49
TexticlesNod to 8:08:02
19/05/19 8:06:58
Parasight.
05/05/19 19:06:55
Don't hire Paul Vause photography. He's good at what he does, but he specialises in football photos, and he insists on dressing people up in footie kits and creating little scenarios.This photo is from my son's wedding day. That's my lad with the priest.
29/04/19 11:32:14
This isn't just any onion, this is a Marks & Sparks onion
26/04/19 11:05:37
"All you can hear is the endless chatter of high pitch gibberish, squeals and howls.""Ok ..OK ..Give me a chance . Am trying to get rid of Radio One."
22/04/19 19:47:03
The orient express
07/04/19 7:00:08
Be careful not to annoy them. They might fly off the handle.
04/04/19 7:26:24
The Bird Watching Society was initially disappointed at the lack of owls. Then they spotted the tits.
14/03/19 8:07:51
handicap
10/03/19 20:02:20
Giving up smoking, diary entry day 23: Either I'm starting to hallucinate or my wife is a bitch.
03/03/19 20:47:18
Human bean
26/02/19 8:05:26
The museum decided to hang the main exhibit slightly left of centaur.
24/02/19 8:05:35
Arse about face
30/01/19 12:02:09
Soldiers were brought in to help clean up the mess.
28/01/19 12:02:09
For God's sake Dad, just light the barbecue.
28/01/19 8:13:49
🎵 Here comes the tide.. 🎵
19/01/19 8:00:08
That's no mere cat.
14/01/19 12:00:40
Funny Farm
08/01/19 20:31:23
Rodent's Thinker.
04/01/19 20:13:27
Panting by numbers
02/01/19 16:33:06
"It's a lemon entry my dear Watson"
18/12/18 12:00:41
Reader's Digest
17/12/18 20:00:10
Belinda went everywhere with her giant dog
14/12/18 8:01:15
The Abdomenable Snowman
07/12/18 20:00:08
"Not tonight love, I've got a monumental headache"
29/11/18 12:02:47
Konnichihuahua
24/11/18 20:00:11
"My husband loves my paintings but he has no idea where my inspiration comes from."
17/11/18 9:55:11
Super collie's fragile biscuits fix his halitosis.
11/11/18 10:27:30
"I want THAT one...."
18/10/18 7:07:34
They were only married five minutes, but the crack's were starting to show.
17/10/18 19:17:39
🎵 "I fought the slaw and the, slaw won..."
02/10/18 7:30:59
When Gran said she was going to Spar...?
30/09/18 19:00:08
"You said ...'write something punchy' ..."
27/09/18 8:12:20
Lidl old lady
23/09/18 7:10:03
Where's Wally: Level 1
21/09/18 11:02:11
"I found it in the road. It's a 'Truck-killed flattypuss'"
19/09/18 7:53:27
Male customer: "Can I leave a deposit on this dress?"
16/09/18 19:29:51
"The boss said this job had to be FLAWLESS you idiots."
09/09/18 13:04:59
08/09/18 7:00:18
Fried and gone to heaven
27/08/18 11:16:33
"Are we there, Yeti?"
21/08/18 7:03:52
"I'm not really a big drinker."
13/08/18 19:13:54
Loafers
10/08/18 19:00:08
Warning: May contain nuts.
06/08/18 13:04:19
Transvestheights
31/07/18 11:07:57
"I'll be out in a moment, I'm having trouble burying it."
27/07/18 7:29:28
Jane decides to leave her Tokyo accommodation.
24/07/18 7:23:17
I asked the missus if we could have a pool room...
15/07/18 19:00:34
Kalashnicoffee table
03/06/18 19:00:07
"Now , Over to the Weather...A band of snow will be appearing later."
03/03/18 20:13:01
That's a pass. Says the Volkswagen Diesel Emission Test Engineer.
20/02/18 23:40:24
You can usually spot penguins by their peculiar gates.
02/02/18 9:11:01
Bad hare day
14/12/17 12:00:05
Fissure men
29/09/17 11:07:00
Boom with a view.
27/09/17 11:03:26
As protest tshirts go, one asking for the abolition of the French word for 'No' is pretty random.
30/08/17 11:01:09
Suitable for bottom feeders.
27/07/17 19:00:08
Juan Carlos failed to draw any visitors for the world's largest horse
06/06/17 9:53:13
Pasture Bedtime
03/05/17 19:00:10
Hattie Jacques Cousteau
17/04/17 20:04:24
"Mum... The dog's eaten all the cheese and pineapple
01/04/17 7:22:41
They lead up to A Flat
07/02/17 12:13:01
A dip in the road
04/02/17 12:06:17
The Black Eyed O.A.P's.
22/01/17 12:00:12
🎵 Ground Control to Ginger Tom.🎵
11/01/17 8:01:35
Silletto
07/01/17 12:03:58
Face Lift
20/12/16 8:19:12
The now bankrupt confection company deeply regretted their 'win your own weight in sweets' competition.
16/12/16 20:44:55
Within Earshot
23/11/16 20:00:05
Yes the oysters were fine, said the Englishman
20/10/16 11:58:37
Grandad can you pick gran up from the pub she's absolutely shit faced again .
14/10/16 14:40:57
There had been a steady stream of customers all day.
28/09/16 15:09:33
'The Czech is in the mail.
25/09/16 19:01:17
climb it change.
27/07/16 21:15:33
The Queen's Passing Out Parade
17/04/16 11:00:12
Stellar Artois.
22/03/16 20:04:00
Just another sign of a misspelt youth
03/03/16 20:17:58
