Pussy Galore

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	lol x2 "Why are you leaving the job?" "The doctor says I've got parking zones disease." 11/02/17 20:48:38	1 25
Thank you for all the votes. That's my highest score to date. :) --Pussy Galore
	clever How many times do I have to tell the kids not to accept lifts from strangers? 15/01/17 12:03:17	1 21
Thanks for the votes everyone, this is my highest-scoring caption to date. :) --Pussy Galore
	clever Braking news 11/10/16 20:16:20	20

	creative Super collie's fragile biscuits fix his halitosis. 11/11/18 10:27:30	4 19
Reminded me of the greatest football headline ever printed -When Celtic suffered a shock defeat by Inverness Caledonian Thistle in the cup --' Super Caley go ballistic Celtic are atrocious.' --stone face
	Cash on Delivery 05/08/18 20:30:19	18

	clever x2 "Business is slow today, son. Release the pigeons." 01/06/18 23:24:11	18

	Cat-a-pillar 28/12/18 10:34:16	17

	Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman! 21/10/18 9:57:54	17

	Game of Thrones 19/02/17 12:33:15	3 17
Ha ha. He's already got one, lol. ;) --Pussy Galore
	It's very odd, but when I started wearing these, I couldn't take my hat off. Then I realised I'd left the caps lock on. 14/01/17 8:20:16	17

	creative clever I thought we'd park here to be on the safe side. 16/09/16 12:00:32	17

	In the year 2050, the local takeaway proudly announces that it hasn't put its prices up since 2018. 22/10/18 13:03:09	16

	lol x2 "We're trying to get him out of the habit. None of us dare yawn at home." 26/08/17 10:52:28	14 16
Wow, thanks everybody! I'm in the game for the laughs and never expected to win, and this isn't even my highest-scoring caption, so it's doubly surprising! I think this calls for a celebration (Pussy reaches for a tin of salmon, purring loudly... --Pussy Galore
	clever "Excuse me, there's no toilet paper in the Gents." 29/03/17 12:03:45	1 16

	They're both guilty - it's written all over their faces. 16/11/16 20:07:13	16

	lol "I think I know what the problem is," said the doctor. "He's not eating properly." 13/10/16 20:14:10	16

	Watch their eyes light up when I open a tin of salmon. 10/08/16 12:57:15	16

	"My head hertz." 09/11/18 20:06:42	15

	Mick was exhausted after digging a hole to try and hide the yacht he'd stolen. 13/07/18 15:33:38	15

	Who says it takes two to tango? 07/07/18 22:39:22	15

	"Darling, have a word with the kids, will you? They've put the fish in the washing machine again." 09/06/18 10:21:50	15

	The Dark Knight Rises 12/08/17 20:18:15	15

	After a lengthy investigation, the cops decided the eggs hadn't been stolen, they had simply been mislaid. 06/05/17 17:25:57	15

	lol Thit! Don't you jutht hate it when you bite your tongue. 31/10/16 20:05:20	15

	lol I didn't think anyone still used the Galaxy Note 7. 16/11/18 10:14:58	14

	Well, that locksmith did get me in, but I'm not sure I'd use him again. 17/08/18 20:07:17	14

	"Mum says when you've finished meditating, can she have her tea-towel back?" 16/01/18 13:10:26	14

	The wife always buys me a pair of boxers for Christmas. 21/10/17 20:01:28	1 14
Looks more like the day after Christmas to me. --Crunchy Chords
	clever Mother always says take an overgoat in case it turns chilly. 15/01/17 12:04:49	14

	Takeaway menu: Try our family bucket deal. 28/11/16 9:41:12	14

	KenChucky Fried Chicken. 14/11/16 22:17:21	14

	clever Meals on wheels 21/08/18 12:18:12	13

	🎵🎵 We're in the Monet 21/07/18 18:03:50	13

	"I've fixed your mother's bedside lamp, darling." 11/04/18 12:18:47	13

	"Gran, you're making an exhibition of yourself again." 12/10/17 20:04:12	13

	Earwigs 16/02/17 20:04:51	4 13
Have mine :) --Mr Dome
	He just wanted a brief glimpse. 03/02/17 8:05:43	13

	"Harry! The grandkids have been feeding Tommy with your Viagra tablets again!" 23/11/18 20:00:21	12

	When looking for intelligent life, the dish always points away from earth. 13/07/18 10:02:59	12

	"Hello, banking services? Can you tell me why I can't withdraw any cash, please?" "Certainly, Madam. It appears you're badly overdrawn." 24/06/18 12:00:15	12

	Don't shoot the messenger. 26/05/18 20:07:03	12

	We're expecting a bulletin 26/05/18 20:00:36	12

	Mail shot 26/05/18 20:00:12	12

	"...and seventy five condoms, please. I'm doing sex education with Year 10 boys tomorrow." 17/12/17 20:54:14	2 12
You counted them, didn't you? Sad thing is I just checked. --Vivvy En
	My brother got the silver spoon in his mouth. I had to make do with the napkin ring. 30/09/17 10:25:01	12

	All dolled up with nowhere to go 31/08/17 12:00:15	12

	"Slow down, guys! I've pulled a mussel." 31/07/17 20:19:50	12

	lol Invasion of the Killer Toilet Roll Holders. 31/05/17 10:33:28	12

	clever Welcome to the human race, son. 31/03/17 21:03:31	3 12

	"Which flat does Bob live in?" "I haven't a clue." 06/02/17 12:01:57	12

	A nice bowl of Pot Purry will enhance any room. 23/01/17 12:00:32	12

	Well, it's not fit for human habitation, that's for sure. Let's rent it out to students. 13/01/17 9:25:02	2 12
with the students in them? --Mr Dome
	"How did he get up there?" "He's been eating helium balloons again." "Oh well, whatever floats your goat." 30/11/16 10:34:14	12

	Impressive Aperture. 05/11/16 14:11:01	1 12
hahahaha --sandeep chahal
	clever It makes a great getaway vehicle. Totally confuses forensics. 24/10/16 20:07:05	12

	lol Only fools and Hearses 24/08/16 12:07:00	12

	🎵 Now bring us some twiggy pudding, Now bring us some twiggy pudding, Now bring us some twiggy pudding And bring it out here." 🎵 23/12/18 20:24:04	11

	Put your money where your mouth is. 23/12/18 14:10:14	11

	🎵 Honda first day of Christmas, Santa brought to me... 🎵 22/12/18 10:20:54	11

	Put the kettle on, love. I'm spitting feathers here. 10/12/18 23:43:24	11

	Have you met our new lab technicians? 03/12/18 12:52:48	11

	When librarians have children. 02/12/18 12:32:10	11

	She's a lovely girl. Never a crossword. 01/12/18 21:33:59	11

	After a spell of poor trading, they have been re-named The Folding Door Company. 16/11/18 12:21:12	11

	You never know when there's a kidnapper lying in weight. 17/08/18 12:30:14	11

	Swamped with work 09/08/18 20:00:28	11

	Tune in next week when our experimental chef tackles TV dinners. 27/07/18 20:44:05	11

	"I'm just popping in the shoe shop. I'll meet you back here," said his wife, five hours ago. 09/06/18 13:18:15	11

	"Did you remember the magazines for the coffee table?" 03/06/18 20:00:08	11

	There are times you have to be grateful you don't play the double bass. 02/06/18 20:02:06	11

	"Youngsters are too soft these days. In my day it was vinegar and brown paper." 26/05/18 19:44:54	11

	My caravan has been stolen again. Police are beginning to see a pattern. 30/10/17 10:33:19	11

	Stick another burger on the Barbie. 31/08/17 20:00:07	11

	"Let's go to Mull of Kintyre for our holidays," you said. "The scenery is breath-taking," you said. 19/12/16 14:07:35	11

	Larry was disappointed to wake up and find he wasn't tucking into a giant slice of watermelon after all. 26/12/18 21:02:07	10

	Are you sure this is how you play tick tack toe? 19/12/18 12:15:52	10

	B*llocks to shopping, thought Steve. 06/12/18 9:46:53	10

	lol Everything was fine until he got picked up by the fuzz. 02/12/18 11:20:03	10

	"Are you absolutely sure you want a piggy-back?" 23/11/18 16:48:01	10

	"I know my mother is superstitious, George, but you still won't put her off coming to visit." 18/08/18 20:18:49	10

	Tat for Tits 18/06/18 13:59:35	10

	clever It's an interesting idea for a chess set but it does make it hard to concentrate. 20/12/17 13:45:23	10

	Dummies for Windows 01/12/17 10:31:21	10

	There's always something clogging up the streets these days. 24/11/17 10:23:47	10

	lol "Doctor, my nipples are clogged." (Belated nod to Sat 19:30:47, which I have only just seen. Sorry.) 29/10/17 0:59:34	10

	"What the hell's this? I've been given a barking ticket!" 17/10/17 16:10:06	10

	Customers found it difficult to leave the shop because they'd put all their basques in one exit. 15/09/17 12:00:22	10

	That new aftershave brought Jim out in hives. 21/06/17 20:01:46	10

	"No thanks, it's gone coaled." 24/04/17 14:53:31	10

	Nigel stared in wonder at this new type of e-reader. Why had nobody thought of it before? No batteries, no recharging, and even allowed on the plane. 06/04/17 8:40:51	1 10
...also, instant load times, no backlight glare, and you can read it in the bath. I'm just off to Kickstarter... --Michael Winner
	They knew she'd be nervous on the ride, so in a last-ditch effort to stop her biting her nails, Ellen's parents resorted to the broom handle through the sleeves trick. 26/02/17 12:41:15	10

	clever So that's what baited breath looks like. 22/02/17 12:06:03	10

	creative 🎵🎵 Like a ciabatta out of hell 🎵🎵 13/02/17 0:50:00	10

	"Ma'am, the breathalyser shows that you've had a few stiff ones." "It can tell that as well? Oh my word, isn't technology these days amazing?" 03/02/17 22:54:45	10

	🎵 I see you baby, stood on that ass. 🎵 25/01/17 9:50:47	3 10
Sheikh on that ass? --Ross Davidson
	Post traumatic stress 25/08/16 13:30:46	1 10
1st Class Act --Tiny Alien
	Cutting Hedge Technology 16/08/16 12:54:52	1 10
Abit high tech for me. --John Glover
	"Have you flossed recently?" "No, I just sort of shuffle round the dance floor a bit." 29/12/18 21:27:31	9

	Scientists have noticed that bears are developing a taste for fast food. 21/08/18 12:21:59	9

	clever Don't walk and text 14/08/18 9:22:07	9

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