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Dan Nicholls Vote score: 11359Dan Nicholls

Warning: May contain nuts.

06/08/18 13:04:19

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 3683Chris Keegan

“Darling, just to let you know, I’m bringing someone back for dinner tonight”

06/08/18 11:00:20

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 27763Tony Edwards

For all the man-eaters out there.

06/08/18 11:30:12

 
Tina  Flowers Vote score: 663Tina Flowers

Great for a Son-day roast

06/08/18 13:06:38

 
Carey Sutton Vote score: 476Carey Sutton

Playing chicken

06/08/18 12:44:44

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7703Leroy Brown

I prefer dark meat.

06/08/18 11:20:44

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7703Leroy Brown

Can I get this with a 6 pack?

06/08/18 11:14:20

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7064Pussy Galore

How can they call them free range when they've spent all their lives in a tower block?

06/08/18 11:01:55

 
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 4536Chris Halliwell

Not going cheep by the looks of it.

06/08/18 12:11:17

 
Pete  Vote score: 18532Pete

"I've got a takeaway, darling. Is Chinese chow men OK?"

06/08/18 11:25:04

 
J Gaskill Vote score: 89J Gaskill

NO shoes
NO shirt
NO dressing

06/08/18 17:33:06

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 5457Mr Dome

- What’s for dessert?
- Spotted Dick

06/08/18 13:32:31

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7703Leroy Brown

Stu

06/08/18 11:31:11

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 3683Chris Keegan

Tesco's introduce an innovative way to clear criminals from our streets once they have passed their cell by date.

06/08/18 21:22:06

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 4956Glyn Evans

Why it's not wise to do yoga at the packing plant...

06/08/18 18:51:28

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 8722Neil Mackenzie

Pacman

06/08/18 18:01:37

 
J Gaskill Vote score: 89J Gaskill

"Nice to MEAT you!"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha--NO."

06/08/18 17:30:51

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 1508Karyn Harrison

Proof that prayer doesn't work.

06/08/18 15:15:31

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 3360Vivvy En

"Delivery for Nancy Dell'Olio"

06/08/18 14:34:18

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 148Sam Cass

Half off on whole humans!

06/08/18 13:19:07

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 11359Dan Nicholls

I always said Kevin was a cock who was wrapped up in himself.

06/08/18 13:05:46

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18004John Glover

Colin had no idea what he was letting himself in for when he agreed to take the leading role in a Cling film.

06/08/18 12:44:21

 
stone face Vote score: 2374stone face

"I don't mind cooking the thing, but I ain't putting the stuffing in it."

06/08/18 12:43:28

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 2392Dave Bryan

Warning: May contain hip replacements

06/08/18 12:27:01

 2
I'd like to see him get in that position with hip replacements lol. ;)  --Pussy Galore
Dave Bryan Vote score: 2392Dave Bryan

''I'm glad to see Aunt Vera hasn't been left on the shelf.''

06/08/18 12:24:13

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 11359Dan Nicholls

"Oh Christ. It still has its giblets!"

06/08/18 12:24:08

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5179Greg Curtis

"Why are you always so fresh?"

06/08/18 11:59:56

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 1508Karyn Harrison

This one was called Donald. Traces of fake tan may remain so rinse thoroughly before use.

06/08/18 11:54:16

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5179Greg Curtis

"He's been dating this wrapper."

06/08/18 11:49:01

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 27763Tony Edwards

"Cadaver body bag please?"

06/08/18 11:37:50

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7703Leroy Brown

Excuse me I'm looking for Fava beans and some Chianti...

06/08/18 11:36:18

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7703Leroy Brown

"Hi I'm Mr Ible but you can call me Ed"

06/08/18 11:27:59

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 19720Ian Skelding

"Dammit Papa Jupiter, this new home delivery service takes away the thrill of the chase."

06/08/18 11:23:25

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 1508Karyn Harrison

Bernard Matthews. Pre-stuffed. Bootiful!

06/08/18 11:21:07

 
Pete  Vote score: 18532Pete

"Can you microwave it?"
"No, but if you grab the hands you can Mexican wave it."

06/08/18 11:18:07

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 27763Tony Edwards

Soylent Green Farm

06/08/18 11:13:59

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7064Pussy Galore

"Mummy, I don't like Daddy."
"Well, leave him on the side of your plate and just eat the vegetables then."

06/08/18 11:11:54

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 6685Vanessa the Guesser

"I can also confirm that he's boneless"

06/08/18 11:08:37

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 21040Michael Winner

"Do you have this in veal?"

06/08/18 11:07:01

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7064Pussy Galore

"And ten kilos of Paxo, please."

06/08/18 11:00:19

 
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