lol

Warning: May contain nuts.

06/08/18 14:04:19

“Darling, just to let you know, I’m bringing someone back for dinner tonight”

06/08/18 12:00:20

For all the man-eaters out there.

06/08/18 12:30:12

Great for a Son-day roast

06/08/18 14:06:38

Playing chicken

06/08/18 13:44:44

I prefer dark meat.

06/08/18 12:20:44

Can I get this with a 6 pack?

06/08/18 12:14:20

How can they call them free range when they've spent all their lives in a tower block?

06/08/18 12:01:55

Not going cheep by the looks of it.

06/08/18 13:11:17

"I've got a takeaway, darling. Is Chinese chow men OK?"

06/08/18 12:25:04

NO shoes
NO shirt
NO dressing

06/08/18 18:33:06

- What’s for dessert?
- Spotted Dick

06/08/18 14:32:31

Stu

06/08/18 12:31:11

Tesco's introduce an innovative way to clear criminals from our streets once they have passed their cell by date.

06/08/18 22:22:06

Why it's not wise to do yoga at the packing plant...

06/08/18 19:51:28

Pacman

06/08/18 19:01:37

"Nice to MEAT you!"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha--NO."

06/08/18 18:30:51

Proof that prayer doesn't work.

06/08/18 16:15:31

"Delivery for Nancy Dell'Olio"

06/08/18 15:34:18

Half off on whole humans!

06/08/18 14:19:07

I always said Kevin was a cock who was wrapped up in himself.

06/08/18 14:05:46

Colin had no idea what he was letting himself in for when he agreed to take the leading role in a Cling film.

06/08/18 13:44:21

"I don't mind cooking the thing, but I ain't putting the stuffing in it."

06/08/18 13:43:28

Warning: May contain hip replacements

06/08/18 13:27:01

''I'm glad to see Aunt Vera hasn't been left on the shelf.''

06/08/18 13:24:13

"Oh Christ. It still has its giblets!"

06/08/18 13:24:08

"Why are you always so fresh?"

06/08/18 12:59:56

This one was called Donald. Traces of fake tan may remain so rinse thoroughly before use.

06/08/18 12:54:16

"He's been dating this wrapper."

06/08/18 12:49:01

"Cadaver body bag please?"

06/08/18 12:37:50

Excuse me I'm looking for Fava beans and some Chianti...

06/08/18 12:36:18

"Hi I'm Mr Ible but you can call me Ed"

06/08/18 12:27:59

"Dammit Papa Jupiter, this new home delivery service takes away the thrill of the chase."

06/08/18 12:23:25

Bernard Matthews. Pre-stuffed. Bootiful!

06/08/18 12:21:07

"Can you microwave it?"
"No, but if you grab the hands you can Mexican wave it."

06/08/18 12:18:07

Soylent Green Farm

06/08/18 12:13:59

"Mummy, I don't like Daddy."
"Well, leave him on the side of your plate and just eat the vegetables then."

06/08/18 12:11:54

"I can also confirm that he's boneless"

06/08/18 12:08:37

"Do you have this in veal?"

06/08/18 12:07:01

"And ten kilos of Paxo, please."

06/08/18 12:00:19