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Charles Gleason

signed up: 1 year, 4 months ago
profile viewed: 4 time(s) this week
caption quota: 10
votes given since joining: 226
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I can light up a room just by moving away from the window. Comedy is in my blood....I wish it was in my captions.

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captions

"Let's go home Mary. Ten years camping out here and still no sign of the monster."

26/09/18 7:10:46

The Lion Cling.

15/09/18 7:02:14

I hadn't thought of that.It Disney really matter to me.Thanks for the input. --Charles Gleason

"Have you any idea how many people have been looking for you ?"

10/09/18 7:01:18

"I want THAT one...."

18/10/18 7:07:34

creative

♪ "I fought the slaw and the, slaw won..."

02/10/18 7:30:59

She'll be breakin rocks in the hot sun soon, --stone face

Interesting building. How many stories ?

21/10/18 19:02:03

Last hoarders please !

09/09/18 8:10:31

" Honestly officer....a big ginger cat !"

19/09/18 11:01:06

HaHaha, To the captioneer: Nice circle-back. --Greg Curtis

clever

I'm outstanding in my field.

06/09/18 7:04:39

"You're gonna need a bigger board."

10/10/18 11:01:39

"Take me to your ladder"

10/10/18 7:16:53

clever

Man: "You gotta let me in with me guide dog."
Steward: "That's not a guide dog, they're Labradors."
Man: "What have they given me then ?"

01/10/18 11:57:36

lol

♪ "Nothing you could say could tear me away from..."

27/09/18 11:48:09

Fency footwork.

08/11/18 8:03:29

clever

"What's wrong with you people ?"
Another brilliant caption gets no votes.

07/11/18 8:16:12

There's already too much division in our society.

27/10/18 7:08:44

Jolly Rotten.

14/10/18 19:04:06

On the plus side....they're generous here with the chocolate sprinkles.

14/09/18 19:03:39

Business is grooming.

05/10/18 11:43:53

lol

Old finger ! She's the nan...the nan with the
China cups....those finer cups....

21/09/18 19:50:16

Yes, I've got it stuck in my head now, as well! --Molly Romanov

Despite the theft of all his props, Punch and Judy man insists : "The show must go on."

07/11/18 8:07:07

"There it goes again...a definite rattling sound.."

11/10/18 20:06:47

Cloth ears.

30/10/18 8:06:34

"Good evening madam. Have you booked ?"

03/11/18 8:15:13

♪"There's cling ons on the arbor bough....."

02/11/18 8:14:19

Tree huggers.

02/11/18 8:00:44

You see...it IS possible to make new friends on the web.

01/11/18 12:07:03

" Does the 666 stop here ?"

31/10/18 20:02:26

"The last time I saw him he was full of beans..."

31/10/18 12:04:55

"We're gonna need more cats...I can STILL hear that f***ing drummer.

21/10/18 11:14:54

creative

Scot of the arse antics.

17/10/18 19:21:35

creative

"I didn't see you at camouflage practice !!!"
"I know...I'm good aint I ?"

04/10/18 7:03:07

The day after the Blue Peter item: "how to make your own burka."

30/09/18 7:45:13

"Have you tried turning it off and on again ?"

29/09/18 19:04:54

Hartlepool illuminations.

07/09/18 7:16:31

Headestrian.

29/10/18 20:01:14

Work has begun on Britain's version of Mount Rushmore. Already completed...Gordon Brown.

19/10/18 19:10:53

They've just started on Stony Blair. --Karyn Harrison

Hall stones.

12/10/18 11:07:18

Last week it was the Tabby National.

05/10/18 8:04:07

World's slowest walker injured delivering acorn.

03/10/18 7:17:05

Almost as slow as me...so pleased I eventually got the joke lol --Funny Bean

White man don't need to jump.

28/09/18 11:52:52

Kevin had no problem doing his ten thousand steps a day.

20/09/18 11:11:50

For a small club, they have a high turnover of players.

06/11/18 20:13:06

I had a car like that once. Doors wouldn't shut.

05/11/18 20:12:56

Best ever Donald Trump likeness....they've even took the brains out !

01/11/18 8:20:11

A natter of life and death.

31/10/18 20:06:16

"Excuse me...I asked for DIET coke..."

22/10/18 11:10:52

It's Phil Collins ! I can see you coming out the ear tonight...

23/09/18 11:01:40

Is he looking for a drum? --Dave Bryan

"Behave, and I'll get you some Werthers".

23/09/18 7:01:52

It started out as a cat flap.

09/09/18 12:06:06

At last Brian was in his own film.

07/11/18 12:12:39

Jacob Rees-Moggy.

04/11/18 12:01:13

My family tree. All the girls called Iris, all the boys called Luke.
We don't talk about Glance-a-lot.

22/10/18 19:14:02

The Cake Crusader

21/10/18 7:01:29

"No,YOU tell it to keep off the grass."

13/10/18 7:18:33

At midnight they take on a Fyffe of their own.

12/10/18 7:05:47

"I'm looking for Pie Guy"

29/09/18 7:59:51

April 1986 : The last time Boris went near a salad.

27/09/18 7:08:32

Look at the size of that ****king cobra !

25/09/18 7:02:42

Rat: "Don't eat the pies."

14/09/18 19:01:29

Samir always liked to give the driver a big tip.

13/09/18 19:01:58

"Mine's a large one."

10/09/18 11:58:54

The Joy Of Six.

06/11/18 20:06:21

In the doorway...I think I've spotted Lord Lucan.

05/11/18 20:03:43

"Don't affect me, I'm on me bike."

05/11/18 12:01:35

Kitteny Spears

29/10/18 8:13:45

Haute catoure.

29/10/18 8:00:33

High street.

25/10/18 11:00:43

♪ "You can leave your baton"

25/10/18 7:01:31

"It's a nice day luv, I think i'll let me pigeons out.

20/10/18 12:15:12

"Hello luv. How did you get on with your fish pedicure ?"

12/10/18 19:05:54

creative

"That's great...now we gotta work on the running and the bike ride..."

11/10/18 12:31:09

♪ "You're once, twice, three times yodelaydeee."

11/10/18 7:24:00

Tonight's winner gets a big purse.

30/09/18 19:01:43

"I'm getting out now Brian, fetch us a clean trowel."

30/09/18 12:47:02

I know that car...it's Greg's.

27/09/18 11:06:07

Glam post.

21/09/18 8:06:13

"Have you got vertigo ?"
"No, I only live round the corner"

16/09/18 7:04:51

When Keith joined the prison library, it opened up a whole new world for him.

02/11/18 20:05:43

A sign of the times.

27/10/18 7:01:17

Dave was smoking up to twenty pens a day...he's a Biro-maniac.

26/10/18 19:26:52

"When we get back to Earth, d'you think we'll get to meet President Truman ?"

24/10/18 19:31:01

I'm going slightly Madge.

20/10/18 19:15:16

clever

Jack Wettriano.

19/10/18 11:19:49

"Look at what you could've won !"

19/10/18 7:16:15

There's a time and a place to practice your moonwalk.

17/10/18 11:21:59

Bit of a niche market...the albino vegan cowboy.

16/10/18 19:04:21

Denmark's ban on the veil is having an adverse effect on young bee keepers.

15/10/18 19:09:45

Kerb faller.

03/10/18 7:05:19

Betty Criminal.

02/10/18 7:09:32

Top Gear meets Countdown.

17/09/18 11:00:48

Dip your headlights.

05/11/18 12:07:19

Going over the wall, quite literally.

02/11/18 20:01:17

Golden Malicious.

02/11/18 12:00:42

♪ Frog on the tiles are all mine all mine,
Frog on the tiles are all mine.

01/11/18 20:06:15

Coincidentally, all the residents work at the nearby Dulux factory.

28/10/18 8:05:54

I don't understand it...I gave him perfect directions.

25/10/18 19:01:53

If I ever get out of here alive, the first thing I'm going to do is smash my GPS. --Scrappy Doo

Fin dryer.

23/10/18 19:00:41

Brian's Got Talons.

23/10/18 11:04:18

As a last resort, they asked Sooty to call for help.

18/10/18 19:12:49

"Don't open your present yet, it's a surprise."

18/10/18 19:02:12

"Great party ! Look...there's Su Pollard and Cherie Blair !"

15/10/18 7:06:20

Cool for cats.

08/10/18 7:01:03

"Hey man, is this the way to Woodstock ?"

04/10/18 19:03:20

"Helluva tackle right there,and it's nearly smacked Irving in the face !"

28/09/18 11:05:59

"Fly this plane to Bieber !'

25/09/18 19:09:02

It's a lot more bovver than a hover.

24/09/18 11:04:40

https://preview.tinyurl.com/y9hbczua has a brief explanation, for those who aren't as ancient as I am. --Molly R

" Actually, he just tells you you're a good boy, but it works for me."

22/09/18 19:06:10

Nothing to worry about here. I've been drinking alcohol since I was a baby, and it's nenner dub meee many farms.

22/09/18 7:07:07

Curator of glove puppet museum upset at theft of valuable "Sooty".

21/09/18 19:08:56

Our name.......is Michael Caine.

12/09/18 19:00:48

There goes his no bones claimus !

07/09/18 19:02:07

I had a go on one of their machines.
Eventually got two Kit Kats and a bag of crisps.

10/11/18 20:16:26

Charlie Watts

09/11/18 20:07:43

After the success of his rabbits book, Richard Adams wrote
"What A Shit Clown."

09/11/18 8:34:53

"Is it scented ?"
"No sir, you have to take it with you.""

08/11/18 20:04:48

"They were the backing singers for Florence Foster Jenkins."
"All suicides ?"
"Yep."

07/11/18 20:04:52

They think he's all over....

06/11/18 20:00:47

"...and look out for kerb trawlers."

05/11/18 12:04:50

Now THAT'S what I call an extraordinary general meeting.

03/11/18 12:04:48

"Five minutes Mr Brambell....five minutes..."

31/10/18 12:09:14

"I'm on me break !"

30/10/18 20:13:53

Sue could hardly contain herself.

30/10/18 12:07:34

Noddle citizen.

29/10/18 20:08:28

Lance Armstrong's mum.

29/10/18 12:09:36

Sid had one last fag before he gave them up for good.

26/10/18 19:01:23

There's one in the van really upset about leaving... she's in bits !

26/10/18 7:11:52

Windows For Dummies.

26/10/18 7:00:58

Who's that being held aloft ? Its Don King !

25/10/18 11:23:39

You can't beat Rhyl on a bank holiday.

24/10/18 19:07:04

" I thought YOU were "ground control..."

24/10/18 19:03:05

They all laughed when Mr Gupta opened his balloon shop.

24/10/18 11:06:42

Oh no! He's shrunk.

23/10/18 19:05:06

Yet more cream buns gone missing in Scoff 'em City.

21/10/18 7:34:47

♪ Don't...stub me now.

20/10/18 19:02:40

Puckerlips Now.

15/10/18 19:01:03

Give the lad a break. Have you ever tried selling ice creams door to door ?

14/10/18 12:19:55

First day as a traffic warden and Sandeep is sent to put the cones out.

14/10/18 11:02:31

The Duke of Wazzock.

13/10/18 19:40:10

Mucky pop.

13/10/18 11:09:38

♪ "Hit the road, snack,
and don't you crumb back no more."

12/10/18 21:56:01

♪ "Brown brown brown der autobahn....

08/10/18 19:07:26

"What do you mean , I can't bark here ?

06/10/18 19:01:02

Light saucy.

06/10/18 11:10:14

Flanny Craddock.

06/10/18 7:04:43

If I had noticed this, I would definitely have given it a vote. Very funny. --Funny Bean

Gogglebox on tour.

05/10/18 19:11:31

Wow, imaginative. --Funny Bean

"Another stop and search ? Is it 'cos I is black ?"

05/10/18 7:20:54

"When you gonna fit that giraffe flap ?"

02/10/18 11:18:58

The salad of Bonnie and Clyde.

02/10/18 7:02:36

"Now, I'm not one for conspiracy theories...."

01/10/18 7:01:59

"I'm a size twelve. I bought these shoes this morning and they're definitely twelves."

29/09/18 7:50:15

This just looks like an act that Simon Cowell has put together.

28/09/18 19:23:51

Toy-ah.

28/09/18 19:02:37

Stubble wrap.

27/09/18 19:11:48

In the distance...Jon Pear Tree.

24/09/18 11:06:07

A young Jurgen Klopp was told, "If you want to play this week, you'd better get a chiffon."

23/09/18 19:04:26

Who's traffic warden round here, Elton John ?

21/09/18 7:21:51

Paperback smiter.

20/09/18 7:44:19

" Don't give up now, you just need to flap a bit more.....and a taller tower."

20/09/18 7:13:18

Those denim flares do tend to ride up.

19/09/18 19:30:40

Molar hat.

17/09/18 19:09:17

They won't be laughing when the oil runs out.

13/09/18 19:03:22

Meanwhile, front row, Edgar Allan Poe is struggling for a rhyme with "gangly."

11/09/18 7:16:20

His turkey twizzler was less impressive.

10/09/18 19:03:49

Downstairs, Billy Byrne was just getting the dimmer switches to work.

09/09/18 12:14:01

That's where I met the wife !

09/09/18 7:21:05

Gone shopping for something crutchless

02/09/18 12:51:58

"Hey boss, the shovels haven't arrived, what'll we do ?"
"Tell the lads to lean on each other until they get here."

12/11/18 14:33:54

Statue of liberty.

11/11/18 14:06:15

"Gasp! My Breath Is Stinky "
That was gonna be the title of my autobiography.

11/11/18 10:02:01

These are very good...a bit salty.

11/11/18 8:15:54

Well, Tony Blair's changed his tune.

10/11/18 20:01:52

"All Hanks on deck."

10/11/18 18:02:06

Someone's bound to put their foot in it.

09/11/18 12:06:40

"High heel Silver...away !"

09/11/18 12:03:40

Mary loved Geoff. She'd never met a man who really understood string theory.

09/11/18 8:31:49

I'll give it a try. It's gotta be better than that Mr Muscle.

08/11/18 20:06:27

"..and I've been teaching him a few words. Here, watch this...COLONIC IRRIGATION !"

08/11/18 12:20:07

"Oscar's not been well."
"He looks shelfy enough to me."

08/11/18 12:16:16

Hate Men Corner.

08/11/18 12:03:36

The Fence Revolution : "Let them eat hake."

08/11/18 8:57:58

♪ "With cat-like tread, upon our prey we steal..."

08/11/18 8:41:44

"That's me "yankee" up ! How much have I got to come ?"

07/11/18 20:21:04

"Sorry Mary, the Halloween party was last week."
"Halloween party ?"

06/11/18 12:09:01

"How do you like your new boots Geoffrey ? You ARE a size eight?"

06/11/18 8:09:52

"You're not a bad lad Simon, but what have you done with me arm ?"

06/11/18 8:04:52

Retired traffic warden's yard gets a Titchmarsh makeover.

05/11/18 8:12:05

"My dog's gonna be upset....he's just passed his test."

05/11/18 8:07:01

The Pig Pang Theory.

04/11/18 20:13:18

"But you've ALWAYS got the munchies."

04/11/18 20:02:46

The cockney skier...Dan Hill.

04/11/18 8:49:14

One species that thrives in this environment, is the Alpine Moth.

04/11/18 8:04:24

Ski pants

04/11/18 8:03:17

"Actually, before we start Jason, could you just nip out and get me a coffee ?"

03/11/18 20:14:06

Jeremy Clarkson has seen enough.

03/11/18 20:01:54

"If the person who stole my little yellow pills will just give them back, we'll say no more about it."

03/11/18 12:09:31

"Come home Abe....your dinners ready !"

03/11/18 8:22:22

"Come in ma'am....do you like gumbo ?"
"Oh I like ALL Walt Disney's films."

03/11/18 8:22:22

I see Dignitas have started doing home visits.

02/11/18 12:03:05

When they saw the water flume, their little eyes lit up.

01/11/18 20:02:57

more captions

last comments (total: 37)

Funny

Funny Bean

09/10/18
9:59am

comment on caption:
"Watch him nan...keep your cardie up !" [Charles Gleason]

They've just started on Stony Blair.

Karyn Harrison

19/10/18
7:15pm

comment on caption:
Work has begun on Britain's version of Mount Rushmore. Already completed...Gordon Brown. [Charles Gleason]

And next year Stanley Bald-win.

Karyn Harrison

19/10/18
7:57pm

comment on caption:
Work has begun on Britain's version of Mount Rushmore. Already completed...Gordon Brown. [Charles Gleason]

...and then maybe Win-stone Churchill?

Vivvy En

19/10/18
8:06pm

comment on caption:
Work has begun on Britain's version of Mount Rushmore. Already completed...Gordon Brown. [Charles Gleason]

Pebble Chamberlain ?

Charles Gleason

19/10/18
8:16pm

comment on caption:
Work has begun on Britain's version of Mount Rushmore. Already completed...Gordon Brown. [Charles Gleason]

William Gladstone?

Karyn Harrison

19/10/18
8:16pm

comment on caption:
Work has begun on Britain's version of Mount Rushmore. Already completed...Gordon Brown. [Charles Gleason]

William Pitt the Minger?

Karyn Harrison

19/10/18
8:42pm

comment on caption:
Work has begun on Britain's version of Mount Rushmore. Already completed...Gordon Brown. [Charles Gleason]

Neil Kinnrock

Welsh Rarebit

19/10/18
10:41pm

comment on caption:
Work has begun on Britain's version of Mount Rushmore. Already completed...Gordon Brown. [Charles Gleason]

If I ever get out of here alive, the first thing I'm going to do is smash my GPS.

Scrappy Doo

25/10/18
9:30pm

comment on caption:
I don't understand it...I gave him perfect directions. [Charles Gleason]

container self?

[anon]

30/10/18
3:18pm

comment on caption:
Sue could hardly contain herself. [Charles Gleason]

more comments

Charles Gleason

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last comments (total: 37)

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