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Don Quixhopeless
Tony Edwards
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Except Mrs Walliams.
alexandra ball
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There's no such thing as a free launch.
Tony Edwards
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Mary was the shame of her Glaswegian family. Nine years old and still couldn't manage half a bottle of vodka.
Lucky Elperro
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"They claim to have lost their gramophone."
"Is it a windup?"
Vanessa the Guesser
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When I was little my dad used visual aids to help explain the birds and the bees. I'm 48 now and still a virgin.
James Lennox
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"That's the last time I go to that safari park. The monkeys are lethal"
Mark England
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Breaking News: A suspected burglary has been spotted in the wing mirror of a crime patrol car. Police are looking into it.
Dave Bryan
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Returning unwanted gifts from IKEA can be dramatic.
Chris Keegan
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And so we named her Ivy..
Vanessa the Guesser
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Floodlights.
Kenny Ireland
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"A A Captain!"
Stephen Bean
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Thanks love, where's yours?
alexandra ball
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Mark Wilson buys a new car after the Wolf mistakenly transfers £50,000.
Stephen Bean
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I only get my leg over once a year too.
James Lennox
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Yipee, Christmas Day! I wonder what photo captioneers have chosen to fill each other with Christmas cheer....... oh.
Stephen Bean
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Red scarf and antlers.... you know what that means Rufus...LEFT OVERS!!
Guideaux .
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Fallen angel
Tony Edwards
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Sadly, not only is he an alcoholic but he is also a heroin addict. He eats, shoots and leaves.
Dave Bryan
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"I was really enjoying my date with Edward Scissorhands...until he got horny"
The Wolf
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The only thing I hate more than Nazis is double Nazis.
Scrijjy Doo
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"A shame his parents didn't have enough foresight to use one themselves."
Hercules Rockefeller
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"Watch out, Frosty! He's armed and dangerous."
Vivvy En
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"So, Sue died when her quad bike went into the river?"
"No, just after she connected the jump leads."
Al Overy
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