clever

🎵 Surfin' USB 🎵

04/09/23 12:06:28

clever

Bread Astair.

15/09/23 8:33:44

This is what happens when you meet people on Grindr.

31/08/23 20:42:29

lol x3

This Morning audience watch in silence as Holly tries to seperate itself from giant fruitcake.

13/06/23 12:18:20

creative

" Been satyr long?"

08/09/23 8:01:04

The Man in the Iron- rich Mask.

11/07/23 9:03:45

He was quickly faggotten.

06/07/23 8:39:51

"As we now commit Paul's body to the gravy..."

06/07/23 8:33:14

The Nudey Blues.

08/08/23 8:12:35

Postman Pat was already regretting it.

26/06/23 21:45:52, edited: 26/06/23 22:25:03

The Hokey Cokey's changed since I were a girl.

26/06/23 13:53:54

creative x2

"Hi Nana! can you see us? thanks for the jumpers, we really like them. Yes we wear them all the time, don't we Tony?"
"Yes."
"Nono not too small at all, are they Tony?"
"No."

27/05/23 8:37:03

Wish I'd bought roll up blinds now.

23/08/23 9:02:29

He's always sticking his neck out for those kids.

27/07/23 20:13:57

Harey chest.

09/07/23 8:03:52

Due to a recent spate of art thefts, the gallery has decided to install a couple of bouncers.

12/08/23 12:43:10

"Stop playing tricks on your Nan. You know that's not a metal detector."

13/07/23 8:45:36

Dave's wife made him sleep in the bath because his snorkling kept her awake all night.

23/06/23 12:05:03

Ommm Lovin' it.

Fri 20:00:42

Now closed due to non-collection.

19/09/23 12:03:37

"Don't worry lads, it's fine, but if you hear that woodpecker again- run."

04/08/23 8:14:07

The United Colours of Benidorm.

25/06/23 13:30:04

John had a terrible but understandable fear of seagulls.

21/06/23 8:12:58

"The children grow so quickly, don't they dear?"
"Yes, seems like every time I turn my back they shoot up."

19/06/23 15:32:13

Everyone else can use the sink.

25/08/23 8:04:14

World's worst Fairy Godmother.

13/08/23 20:55:54

"looks like you're in for the high jump Gus. And the seesaw, and the traffic cones, and that tunnel thing."

09/08/23 8:51:07, edited: 09/08/23 8:56:51

🎵 Row, row, row your goats, gently down the stream 🎵

20/06/23 12:25:57

When coconuts first appeared in the shops, people weren't sure how to open them.

06/06/23 8:11:01

"The drinks are on me."

17/05/23 20:01:35, edited: 17/05/23 20:06:26

Range Rover

17/05/23 8:00:42

When they made Dave they broke the mould, unfortunately some of it grew back.

19/07/23 13:27:08

To love, honour, and OH BOY OH BOY!

13/07/23 12:25:21

lol x2

"Oh my God he's shit on me new blouse!"

10/05/23 20:11:25

Dave and Brenda had a smashing time down the Pub.

26/08/23 8:02:48

🎵 You toke the high road and I'll toke the low road 🎵

23/07/23 13:10:46

I wish the kids would stop winding me up.

22/07/23 22:27:13

"Ahh that's better. I've been on my foetus all day."

18/07/23 15:07:15

They're a very tight knit family.

21/06/23 20:14:25

Photo Shoot.

Mon 12:04:19

The romaines of the day.

07/09/23 8:36:08

Hayley's vomit.

10/07/23 12:25:16

"Afternoon Sir. I see you're 15mph over the speed limit. Some kind of emergency, is there?"
"Yes! there's an old woman in this shoe, she's about to have another baby and she doesn't know what to do!"

15/06/23 20:23:33

"NOW is the time! time to think for yourselves! time to rise up against tyrrany! time to break the bonds of..."
"MALCOLM. Take your hands out of your pockets."

04/06/23 20:03:44

"You spoil that hamster"

17/05/23 12:16:05

Mittens always liked to dress up for Pride Month.

03/09/23 8:17:38

Sponsored by Coral.

29/08/23 12:55:07

lol

"Lets go and wait by the gate, you said, cement's bound to be dry by now, you said."

11/08/23 12:19:07

"Well if there is a quicker way to dry a kangaroo, I don't know about it."

11/08/23 4:09:52

lol

Though unable to sweat cobs, Andrew did occasionally barf baguettes.

26/07/23 13:19:51

"Now, say after me- 'The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.'

09/07/23 12:05:27

🎵 At the car squash 🎵

02/06/23 8:10:39

Quince wasn't the best of guide dogs.

22/05/23 12:02:28, edited: 22/05/23 12:15:05

"I feel like I should know who you are, but I don't."

Fri 8:01:36

The Hound of The Flashcargrilles.

14/09/23 8:17:07

lol

"Well I wouldn't have a headache if you didn't keep hitting me with that big spoon every morning."

31/08/23 14:24:21

clever

Naughty seat.

28/08/23 22:21:46

Ring road.

25/07/23 6:19:44, edited: 25/07/23 6:21:20

"Show us yer salad drawers."

25/06/23 8:15:32

Dave couldn't understand why he was still cold, even though he was wearing a jumper.

12/06/23 5:22:24, edited: 12/06/23 11:08:37

New Hospice ward design branded "insensitive".

11/06/23 8:12:21

clever

"Go home"
"Who's gonna make me?
"I am"
"Oh yeah? you and tsunami?"

31/05/23 14:25:56

Standwich.

29/05/23 12:12:51

"Dave! Dave! quick! I think I felt it's glasses move!"

25/05/23 8:47:25

"Now, try to resist me."
"Oooo, bit sure of yourself."

18/09/23 20:10:33

"It's OK I've got the bill."

17/09/23 12:23:02

"You may now frisk the bride."

15/09/23 12:02:58

This is the chap who's job it is to draw ears on old bank notes to make them look like Charles.

10/09/23 8:22:12

Earl Greyskull.

08/09/23 12:42:01

"I love these now they're up, I think I'll get tumor."

23/08/23 9:46:45

The Ministry of Silly Storks.

18/08/23 12:25:17

These Tampax commercials are getting ridiculous.

28/07/23 21:58:07

clever

Dave's idea to use Miracle -Grow instead of Regaine backfired spectacularly.

11/07/23 9:49:41

Paul you can eat buffet.

06/07/23 8:18:32

"And the favourite is... ALL of them! they're ALL my favourite aren't you? yes you ARE come to Mummy."

04/07/23 12:39:15

The Sled Poet's Society.

02/07/23 9:59:26

"When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I ate you."

27/06/23 20:14:18

Yorkshire version of "Waterworld" not quite living up to expectations.

27/06/23 9:47:45

Fleecy Rider.

26/06/23 8:09:51

They did their best to space the kids out responsibly.

19/06/23 12:31:11

Look at this prat, caught the last Big Yellow Taxi. And I bet he charges people a dollar and a half just to see it.

18/06/23 8:29:21

"You took your time."

13/06/23 9:40:54

Beano Comic opens home for retired Numbskulls.

11/06/23 8:42:58

Flat Shite.

03/06/23 12:10:41

"Hello, Police? some maniac's seeding down the motorway"

24/05/23 23:17:11

"Poor Aunty Gladys. Struck by lightning on her way to the Easter Bonnet Parade."

24/05/23 20:03:35

"Go on Angie, pleeeease."
*sigh*
"OH MY GOODNESS! is this the Great God Pan I see! the wild and youthful fawn who haunts the Wild Woods?"

23/05/23 12:03:00, edited: 23/05/23 14:07:07

🎵 The lion creaks tonight 🎵

20/05/23 8:07:34

DAVE how many times?? stop putting last night's curry on the bird table.

12/05/23 20:04:07

Charles was starting to regret buying young Archibald the De-lux Meccano set for Christmas.

Sat 8:10:11

"All right, but this is the last game of pass the dentures, then we play something else."

05/09/23 21:10:55

Not a bad way to travel, in the mane.

03/09/23 8:04:24

🎵 Here comes the bride, cat's hitched a ride 🎵

02/09/23 8:11:28

"Why don't you work out mum?"
"I am, I'm working out how to get rid of your father."

28/08/23 8:01:12

🎵 Puff the magic hard-on 🎵

17/08/23 8:28:28

The Lord giveth, and the Lord worketh in a takeaway.

11/08/23 20:05:00

🎵 Oh Licki you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind 🎵

07/08/23 8:48:35

Boughhause.

04/08/23 8:12:16

The Paradise Inn is proud to host this year's finals of the WI meringue baking competition.

31/07/23 8:21:47