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ant knee

signed up: 1 year, 9 months ago
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captions

Irritable Owl Syndrome

23/10/18 12:00:17

Gang, nan style

13/08/18 12:00:24

Winston Churchill: The Official Otterbiography

18/07/18 20:40:19

lol

clever

"...and that's how babies are born."

26/06/18 13:55:12

lol

Empirical evidence that obesity is in the jeans.

06/03/18 22:15:44

lol

"I love it when a dam comes together."

18/07/18 20:39:01

clever

Meowl

29/01/18 12:01:34

"This caption is a little wordy. Y'think you can tighten it up a bit?" --Greg Curtis

Mister Tibbs, the neighbour's cat, was happy that the Smith's had finally installed the new vending machine.

18/06/18 12:02:53

Thanks, Pussy :) --ant knee

lol

"The closer it gets, the more it looks like a piano."

17/05/18 8:24:50

I nearly choked laughing. --Barrie Bullock

It ain't over till the fat lady...ok, it's over!

24/10/17 12:00:53

Hahaha --sandeep chahal

Hot Fuzz

10/07/18 20:03:24

Eating bland mushy food, taking regular naps and farting without shame. It's easy for two people to bond when they have so much in common.

19/12/17 13:53:22

Beverly Heels Cop

24/09/17 12:00:43

Million Dollar Baby

05/08/18 20:05:16

The steaks have never been higher.

19/05/18 12:08:38

I tawt I taw a pussy tatt.

11/02/18 8:08:10

A fresh pot of Stu

06/11/17 8:00:21

Be careful of quick fix diets. They leave you feeling drained.

16/08/18 12:02:33

A book fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame.

30/06/18 8:16:09

clever

Tank top

06/01/18 12:00:18

It was Dot's first vacation in years. Looking for something outdoorsy, she Googled "nearest camp site".

06/05/19 10:32:01

She's Dotty. --Willie Johnson

Jurassic Pork

30/12/18 13:03:41

♬ Joe lean
Joe lean
Joe lean
Joe leeeeean... ♬

25/06/18 20:21:13

06/05/18 20:01:25

01/04/18 20:00:32

For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

22/12/17 20:17:11

And the epitaph read: "Well...T-t-t-that's all, folks!"

13/05/19 20:03:40

Mona Geezer

22/08/18 20:06:07

Pictured during his 2018 World Tour, the rock & roll lifestyle is clearly taking its toll on Harry Styles.

24/06/18 8:28:49

Junk food

10/06/18 8:00:07

Laurel and tardy

08/06/18 21:40:01

Cheekbone

07/01/18 12:00:22

We likes it human style.

06/12/17 12:00:21

Day 5: The shower siege stand-off continues. Body odour has now ripened to a notable lingering pungency.

----------
(Edit 03/11/18 14:22)

Day 5: The shower siege stand-off continues. I smell like the back end of a dog on laxatives, but I'm hanging in there.

24/10/17 8:02:12

"Look at those puppies."

01/10/18 12:01:02

Cops & Whoppers

06/08/18 8:20:13

"...and the BAFTA for Best Male Dramatic Performance goes to..."

31/03/18 20:29:51

Wears stripes because he doesn't want to be spotted.

06/02/18 8:00:52

Stretch Mark

07/01/18 20:00:06

lol

The headless one is yours, mate!

20/10/17 20:37:16

The Lie-in King

(nod to 8:03:53)

04/10/17 8:20:42

Tom was starting to regret agreeing to babysit for Jerry

Nod to 12:07:50

03/05/19 13:29:15

Deerly departed

14/04/19 8:12:28

The Old Bill-a-bong

18/10/18 12:31:33

Fedoras you can wear with Pride.

19/06/18 20:03:02

John was recently diagnosed with colour blindness. It came totally out of the purple.

13/06/18 20:12:55

"Flock off!"

01/02/18 20:03:55

...and a 99 with a sausage, please.

22/11/17 20:05:27

Even when he's feeling down, Joe always puts on a happy face.

18/11/17 14:37:05

clever

"Latest reports have revealed that a wolf has been apprehended in connection with the incident. As for the condition of the inhabitants - identified locally as three little pigs - they have been rescued and are said to be shaken but unharmed."

11/02/19 20:02:42

Mr. Potato Head was beginning to have doubts that he's the father.

17/06/18 8:03:47

You look familiar. Have I probed you before?

31/01/18 8:00:31

clever

Hunny Monster

11/01/18 12:00:06

It's made of iron. It's a ferrous wheel.

30/12/17 8:32:07

Kevin got a little delayed on his way to his weekly Narcoleptics Anonymous meeting.

22/12/17 20:00:24

Another Rick in the wall

08/12/17 20:00:08

"Everyone keeps telling me I need to get Facebook. Do you by any chance have a copy of it in stock?"

30/06/18 8:13:20

"My precious! My precious!"

27/05/18 8:03:59

"Stop storking me or you'll egret it."

22/05/18 20:00:06

creative

"You're freaking meowt."

21/05/18 9:04:28

"Go ahead, I'm all ears."

20/05/18 12:02:45

The owl and the pussycat went to tea...

29/01/18 12:00:07

Take away his drum kit and his stash of Cadbury Dairy Milk, and he's bound to go apeshit.

22/01/18 8:00:26

Just taking precautions. My brother's friend's dad's neighbour has man flu.

11/01/18 20:00:47

Ann Widdecombe performs a one-off gig at at The Comedy Store.

09/01/18 20:03:02

Riding Nemo

06/01/18 9:32:36

clever

Ho-ho-holoha!

26/12/17 20:00:06

Cannibals can be quite creative with their food combinations

21/11/17 20:07:48

Mutual mastication

01/10/17 20:22:58

Swipe LEFT

21/05/18 20:05:01

Dee, hydrating.

03/05/18 9:15:45

"No Gary, I don't want to play Cops & Rubbers."

30/04/18 13:01:41

Manifold

19/04/18 12:10:35

Amateur photography. A horrendous crime. People openly shoot others and chop the tops of their heads off.

06/04/18 20:01:49

Okay, that's snow problem...

13/02/18 20:00:23

An original corgi car

12/02/18 20:00:34

So THAT'S what MC Hammer was on about.

07/02/18 12:00:30

I once was lost, but now am found.

06/02/18 8:00:25

Cheetahs deserve each other.

02/02/18 12:00:22

Danger Mouse

07/01/18 8:43:08

Sporty Smurf

22/12/17 12:00:06

He's a bacon butty man

10/12/17 8:00:05

Rest in Pieces

09/12/17 8:00:07

Puppy Love

06/12/17 12:07:12

He's not at all stable, constantly up and down. I've tried to give him some guidance, but we just end up going around in circles.

29/11/17 12:15:48

That moment when you realise you got the dress code all wrong

09/11/17 20:19:58

Knickershocker Gloria

15/10/17 12:49:46

If you call me Frodo one more time, just ONE MORE TIME...

11/10/17 20:14:40

*whispers* "Icy dead people"

nod to 20:00:07

30/04/19 21:10:21

Manor from heaven

22/03/19 20:33:31

"Life is crepe and then you die."

13/01/19 8:53:17

"You can count on me."

25/09/18 12:26:11

Wu-Tang Grans

13/08/18 12:07:31

Heir raising

26/06/18 13:53:35

AI love you

20/06/18 20:21:11

(Calling out) Oh, by the way...I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

24/05/18 8:18:26

"Look - a Brexit-ear."

20/05/18 12:01:03

Napoleon's boner part

07/05/18 0:29:07

Duracell withdrawal symptoms

01/04/18 20:01:09

I said there should be a separate lane for TRUCKS...

26/03/18 12:04:12

The Sandwitches of Eastwick often shore up at music festivals.

09/02/18 21:28:52

The House of Lords is back in session.

17/01/18 8:04:07

The long term effects of GM foods.

02/01/18 20:22:10

Christmas season: here today, gone to Maui

26/12/17 20:00:42

Take the hint, mate. She's not interested.

12/12/17 12:00:38

Thank you for flying AirQuestrian

10/12/17 12:00:08

Someone is over-compensating.

27/11/17 20:24:06

Good friends don't let you do stupid things......alone!

25/11/17 20:01:09

Gary invited me over for dinner. He's a shit cook. Now I know why.

14/11/17 20:11:27

"She looks crafty."
"Which craft?"
"Exactly!"

13/11/17 15:57:54

07/11/17 8:24:53

05/11/17 12:00:07

21/10/17 12:00:50

24/09/17 12:27:35

The police are right on your heels

24/09/17 12:22:57

I would make a Star Wars pun, but I wouldn't want to Force it.

15/05/19 20:36:49

Pups of Anarchy

13/01/19 20:00:13

Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk.

(Nod to Cinderella captions)

09/11/18 12:20:19

"Not a morning person...?"

23/10/18 12:06:56

Nike Air Macs

18/08/18 12:00:10

What did I tell you? WHAT did I tell you?? .... DO NOT. ASSUME.

17/08/18 8:01:29

ChainSaw

28/06/18 20:00:08

clever

The bad one? No, she's adopted.

23/05/18 21:57:20

Ear Mark

20/05/18 12:07:30

Charged with possession of grass, Daisy was released on bale.

19/05/18 12:07:54

"Tout suite, Marcel. Chef Blanc is sharpening his knives."

07/05/18 8:01:10

Hop on board the S-Car-Go.

Nod to 8:00:14

07/05/18 8:00:52

Bremainers finally concede to the inevitable.

07/04/18 10:29:41

...also, Brexiters. It's all going to be so shit. --Michael Winner

Scenty mental attachment

27/02/18 9:56:16

What happens in Savannah stays in Savannah.

02/02/18 12:00:50

Close encounter with the 3rd kind.

31/01/18 8:00:13

Gorilla warfare

22/01/18 8:01:21

I'm taking Reg out for a meat feast supper. He was on the Diplodocus Diet for a while, but it reduced him to nothing but bones.

17/01/18 8:07:39

Another momentous victory for sweet FA.

10/01/18 20:05:24

Poker face? I'll poke 'er face if she doesn't take that ridiculous mask off.

05/01/18 8:01:26

...8...9...10! Ready or not, here I come!

28/12/17 14:40:49

That's what I think of that jammy tortoise

14/12/17 12:01:01

An investigation is underway after authorities discover an extreme grooming ring.

13/12/17 14:38:18

I waited up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

12/12/17 8:00:09

Kermit expresses his feelings with eloquence and sophistication.

10/12/17 8:00:36

To Alice. Merry Xmas. From Queen of Hearts.

05/12/17 8:41:22

They said I would never get ahead in life.

05/12/17 8:00:23

Willy Wonka's new fitted kitchen.

21/11/17 8:04:33

Hangman

16/11/17 12:00:09

While Bear Grylls' wife appreciated the gesture, she wished he would stop playing with his food.

16/11/17 9:31:41

Completely gluten free. May contain nuts.

06/11/17 8:01:03

Them's the brakes

03/11/17 20:33:07

That Rasta-safarian looks stoned

29/10/17 12:00:07

Katie pays the Price for over-exposure in The Sun

25/10/17 20:00:20

Morning! I hope you don't mind me joining you. Would you like me to scrub your back?

24/10/17 8:28:27

This finger has taken down drug dealers, gangsters and wannabe ninjas, all with a single poke. So don't mess with me, Lankenstein.

12/10/17 7:37:55

Bear grills

11/10/17 12:12:27

Dennis the Menace tweeted a pic of Gnasher "in his golden years" #gnashered

10/10/17 10:35:04

Turns out the new housemate is a very literal person. I merely said we should get on like a house on fire.

01/10/17 22:55:32

I saw a cockroach. I panicked. But I think it's gone now.

(Old joke. Not original, but funny!)

01/10/17 19:14:41

I asked for an office with en suite facilities...

30/09/17 12:11:14

In the heat of the moment, Len's inner beast was exposed.

27/09/17 0:45:35

Smile. It will either warm their heart or piss them off...either way, you win!

20/09/17 9:09:53

Meet The Gingerbreadashians

(Nod to 12:03:37)

13/05/19 12:26:24

"Twit two, who?"

11/05/19 13:11:36

Benedict Cumberhatch

02/01/19 20:00:28

The cat sat on the Matt

30/12/18 20:02:34

♬ "I'm sexy and I snow it." ♬

09/12/18 8:47:38

Joint venture capital

25/10/18 12:00:25

Track suits

25/10/18 8:00:08

The original Gangsta Granny

02/10/18 8:01:20

Finding Croco

25/08/18 12:18:02

"Hello. I'm home right now but I can't find the phone. Please leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I find it." *beep*

09/08/18 8:02:13

A big fan of Cops

10/07/18 20:10:37

Forget-Me-Not

30/06/18 20:00:34

"Is there room for one more under your umbrella? Ella? Ella?"

26/06/18 8:02:05

When he's Stoned, Mick has a tendency to dress flamboyantly and strut about like he's bursting for the loo.

24/06/18 8:27:49

"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kyoto anymore."

21/06/18 12:19:19

My heart just skipped a beep!

20/06/18 20:21:45

The Incredible Sulk (Don't make her grouchy. You wouldn't like her when she's grouchy.)

20/06/18 12:09:57

Meanwhile, in the bored room...

20/06/18 12:04:22

Bruce didn't respond well to the Naga Viper Chilli Challenge.

17/06/18 20:05:48

Is there life after death? Trespass here and find out.

13/06/18 8:02:34

The council thought it gave the area an air of sofishtication.

10/06/18 12:03:36

Sid is in awe of Gerald's powers of levitation.

22/05/18 20:02:20

Meet Rolex

22/05/18 8:03:28

"Hello Jack. How's your back? I ain't seen you in ears and ears..."

20/05/18 12:01:51

"You cow, Pat. Where are yer? I know you're around 'ere somewhere..."

19/05/18 12:19:55

Cowhide and seek --Mr Dome

Gertrude was taking no chances. Apparently, a visitor named Delboy wanted a butcher's at the farmer's livestock.

19/05/18 12:09:36

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10/05/18 20:03:48

Dispute over sky-high property rental price begins to drag-on.

04/05/18 12:17:47

"I only drink on days beginning with T: Tuesday & Thursday...Today & Tomorrow...Thaturday & Thunday..."

(Not original, but oh so funny...and strangely accurate!)

24/04/18 20:51:57

"I don't drink alcohol, I drink distilled spirits. Therefore, I'm not an alcoholic, I'm spiritual."

Nod to 20:10:21

24/04/18 20:44:05

Those who drink to drown their sorrows should be told that sorrows know how to swim.

24/04/18 20:40:01

Captivated by The Real Housewives of Bedrock.

22/04/18 10:41:44

The opening scene of "Citizen Blaze", starring Arson Welles.

18/04/18 12:06:44

Shut the cluck up.

12/04/18 13:03:00

Mother Clucker

12/04/18 12:11:59

It might be April, but they're madder than ever.

01/04/18 20:01:43

Dread-ful hairdo

24/03/18 12:22:07

"A little to the left. Beautiful. The camera loves you."

18/03/18 14:40:23

Life on Mars?

21/02/18 20:02:01

Test Card Girl appears to have grown up. --Crunchy Chords

Litterally adorable

16/02/18 8:00:09

Meanwhile, in Green-land...

13/02/18 20:12:51

Filthy pig

13/02/18 8:01:24

more captions

last comments (total: 36)

I must be missing something. I don't get it. Otters don't make dams.

[anon]

19/07/18
11:51am

comment on caption:
"I love it when a dam comes together." [ant knee]

...which makes my caption otter nonsense *sad face*

(caption author)

19/07/18
12:51pm

comment on caption:
"I love it when a dam comes together." [ant knee]

Quit your jibberjabber! The A-Team were busy beavering about making the dam. Hannibal was just the project manager. wink

[anon]

19/07/18
1:35pm

comment on caption:
"I love it when a dam comes together." [ant knee]

That's otter genius, anon #2. Thank you for validating my caption *big cheesy grin*

(caption author)

19/07/18
2:00pm

comment on caption:
"I love it when a dam comes together." [ant knee]

Ah, thank you anon2. It all makes sense now! ;)

[anon]

19/07/18
2:43pm

comment on caption:
"I love it when a dam comes together." [ant knee]

I understand where you are coming from, anon, but we have to leave the nods to similar captions on the same photo. We'll have a pain in the neck if we start nodding to any caption that's been around before. Recycling is acceptable and the norm here. Even the leading caption on this photo (like the mother in law/first punch gag) is a classic on the comedy circuit.