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Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says shes fine.
Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says shes fine. photo | portfolio
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 3429Stephen Bean

Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says she's 'fine'.

14/03/19 20:05:54

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12665Dan Nicholls

Stephen Hawking's will didn't make for easy reading

14/03/19 20:03:30

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29587Tony Edwards

The answer is 42.

14/03/19 20:00:56

 1
Given my avatar I couldn't not vote for this. --James Lennox
The Wolf Vote score: 3148The Wolf

"What are you reading mate? Oh ok, my teacher at school used to try teach me sh*t like that. I ignored him and it didn't do me any harm"

"Good for you mate. Large Big Mac meal please"

14/03/19 20:01:09

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2455Trace Sarge

"No idea son ask your mother"

14/03/19 20:00:34

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29587Tony Edwards

Scientists have come up with a formula for writing the perfect caption.

14/03/19 20:05:31

 1
"... And Bob's your uncle, the answer is Theresa May having sex." :^) --Crunchy Chords
Lawrence Day Vote score: 446Lawrence Day

Look you owe me 5p.

14/03/19 20:41:46

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 1886Crunchy Chords
Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says shes fine.

14/03/19 20:00:14

 
larry G. Vote score: 1294larry G.

Jack Benny Calculating his taxi ride tip.

15/03/19 2:44:35

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2279James Lennox

"Advanced Algebra for Dummies" wasn't a best seller.

14/03/19 20:10:23

 
larry G. Vote score: 1294larry G.

The lunch menu in an Oxford dining room.

15/03/19 2:40:41

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2279James Lennox

I'm finding Chinese a very hard language to learn.

14/03/19 20:21:47

 1
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8563Vanessa the Guesser

"Reading the problem page again, dear?"

14/03/19 20:17:02

 
The Wolf Vote score: 3148The Wolf

After spending hundreds of days writing lines on the board, Bart Simpson had become a clever little bastard

14/03/19 20:10:53

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8563Vanessa the Guesser

Carol Vorderman's been writing on toilet walls again.

14/03/19 20:04:22

 1
So she worked it out with a pen instead? --Karyn Harrison
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5616Greg Curtis

"This is difficult for many, but it's easy to sum."

15/03/19 2:35:34

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5973Chris Keegan

"Sorry mate, I've just worked out your number's up"

14/03/19 21:34:33

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5616Greg Curtis

".....12? Is it...12?"

14/03/19 21:13:18

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6847Mr Dome

FFS. Is Corrie on yet luv?

14/03/19 20:53:44

 
Susan Oldham Susan Oldham

They really are making it much harder to claim for unemployment benefit these days

05/07/19 15:55:50

 
Dot Old Vote score: 550Dot Old

The meaning of life

15/03/19 8:32:11

 
larry G. Vote score: 1294larry G.

Preparing for a calculated risk.

15/03/19 2:47:23

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 3429Stephen Bean

Thinking inside the box

15/03/19 0:52:18

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 919Scrappy Doo

It's not so easy to find the clitoris.

15/03/19 0:40:12

 
Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 168Lee Hauxwell

I don't know about you, but I'm board.

14/03/19 23:25:38

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5973Chris Keegan

Apparently it takes an idiot to work out how Brexit will divide us, multiply our problems, subtract us from trade and add to our growing national debt.

14/03/19 21:52:46

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 5483Glyn Evans

2 - B or not 2 - B, is that the equation?

14/03/19 21:38:34

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6847Mr Dome

UR squared

14/03/19 21:37:47

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 645Sam Cass

Mike Tyson to agent: "Tho, you're thaying I math underthand thith for my lineth in my next movie cameo?"

14/03/19 21:17:38

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9256Neil Mackenzie

I struggled with Quadratic equations I was always too Erratic.

14/03/19 21:17:32

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29587Tony Edwards

"I only said I am interested in Formula 1."

14/03/19 20:58:38

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19145John Glover

"When you said you'd show me an example of standard deviation, I expected to see a picture of the Union Jack but with an obvious alteration."

14/03/19 20:47:42

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19145John Glover

Instructions with Ikea flat packs are getting complicated.

14/03/19 20:47:42

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 919Scrappy Doo

The Donald got his IQ results.

14/03/19 20:36:50

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 36292Welsh Rarebit

Chalk and Jeez!

14/03/19 20:28:42

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2279James Lennox

Today's captions are a little formulaic.

14/03/19 20:26:24

 
stone face Vote score: 4445stone face

Kids these days with their smart arse maths equations. I blame the parentheses.

14/03/19 20:20:43

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5973Chris Keegan

"Many thanks submitting your expenses Mr Smith. May I just confirm that your journey to St Albans was 37.4 miles at an average speed of 33 miles an hour, using 1.3 litres of fuel at a cost of £1.21 per litre and it took 58 minutes?"

14/03/19 20:18:50

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2278Stu Dent

If A=R2 then the force must be with U

14/03/19 20:10:03

 
stone face Vote score: 4445stone face

Revealed - Why Jose Mourinho's team tactics left a lot of the United players baffled.

14/03/19 20:07:29

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20776Ian Skelding

Sine of the times

14/03/19 20:04:27

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2279James Lennox

Einstein was a genius in physics, but he couldn't spell well: Always putting "D" for "E" and random stuff for "mc squared".

14/03/19 20:03:39

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2278Stu Dent

So this is the recipe for Eton Mess

14/03/19 20:03:25

 
stone face Vote score: 4445stone face

"Dad, I just hate putting your bets on . The girls in Ladbrokes look at me with so much hate ."

14/03/19 20:02:37

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2279James Lennox

Asked to find "D" young Johnny pointed to the bottom left of the blackboard and exclaimed "There it is."

14/03/19 20:01:59

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5973Chris Keegan

"Hang on guys, while we get our heads round this, I'II put some Pi in the oven"

14/03/19 20:00:58

 
Molly R Vote score: 956Molly R

"Now, children, is that quite clear?"

14/03/19 20:00:25

 
Molly R Vote score: 956Molly R

Final formula for the Brexit deal.

14/03/19 20:00:07

 
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