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Captions	17	14	#20	2077	2255	#61
Comments				106	31	#64

Tiny Alien

signed up: 7 years, 11 months ago
profile viewed: 19 time(s) this week
caption quota: 10
votes given since joining: 1,098
super vote quota: 33

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captions

11/06/12 11:00:58

damn been waiting ages to use Y and them I miss it when it comes along. --Chris Brooks

Scuba Doodle Doo

20/06/12 11:06:34

08/12/16 20:00:21

13/10/14 21:38:47

17/11/16 12:00:27

27/10/16 9:25:24

Thanks for turning up for todays assessment Sandra. After careful consideration we feel that your children would probably be better off living with their father.

04/12/14 9:26:16

She's a slow runner, been around the clock, smokes quite a bit and also drinks a lot, treads are thin, comes with a spare tyre.

29/10/16 12:51:48

nice one --puneet chahal

This month Huey's gone for a Beatles hair cut.

03/10/14 10:24:58

Tea's up!

09/08/12 11:16:32

That will be two bucks sir

01/06/12 11:36:50

lol x2

Try and smile Son, mum would want one last photo

21/11/16 8:23:26

Could've been worse, she could've satin it

19/09/16 13:28:02

Backslash

29/10/14 16:29:40

Security tightened as youth was caught carrying a magnum.

28/10/14 14:38:39

clever x3

Horse/

26/10/14 21:15:08

Hi there, I'm looking for a kitchen sink

31/08/17 10:29:26

Listen up people, get your parrotchutes ready, next jump in 10 minutes!

27/10/16 15:16:03

Followed by hen gliding and budgie jumping. --Pussy Galore

Dam! Who put that there?

06/09/16 8:44:33

A Shitsuit

24/11/14 13:18:16

Don't trust him kids, it's October!

28/10/14 9:14:36

No no no...we asked for the steps to be finished off with redtiles.

27/09/13 9:47:39

Darling, I think these couch potatoes are done

07/09/13 8:06:17

A very Talon-ted street Artist

13/07/12 11:00:37

DAD!!!, PLEASE DON'T PICK ME UP FROM SCHOOL AGAIN!!!

30/05/17 11:01:13

My daughter never forgave me for the time I picked her up from school wearing an umbrella hat. In my defence, it was raining and I was on crutches so I didn't have a hand free to hold an umbrella. --Pussy Galore

creative

You're a Jellytot but I'm a Gelateen

24/07/16 20:29:51

The Bee Gee Gees

24/07/16 11:50:15

On second thoughts, let's give them independence

06/06/12 23:06:35

They also do a good 45ed wine.

09/10/14 15:46:43

lol

"This is a local shop for local people"

11/09/13 12:42:49

"...there's nothing for you here." hee hee, best programme ever. :D --Mr Blonde

Quick he's coming, clench your buttocks

22/06/12 11:09:09

Protected by Snorton anti-virus

21/06/12 20:42:18

New cats eyes to be fitted in local neighbourhood

19/06/12 11:36:49

I'm ok, it didn't kill me...keep filming!

07/06/12 11:07:44

lol x2

"Can you see what it is yet?"
Yes Rolf it's a f**cking bunny again, now break times up, get back in your cell.

26/11/16 8:55:13

Quite possibly one of the least PC captions ever :) --Mr Dome

Now show us your jugs

16/11/16 13:10:30

Terror-eyes

07/11/16 12:16:18

clever

Shouvelle cuisine

01/09/16 13:19:29

Spiderman, stop pissing about and go and help that old lady behind you, she's superglued her thumb to her head.

19/01/15 14:46:26

Must dash

15/12/14 21:09:18

Bern in the USA

07/06/17 12:15:47

When you get to the B&B ask for Cliff

30/11/16 12:35:31

Grassy Noel

06/11/16 12:43:00

Hellmanns Angels

28/07/16 22:31:04

Unless you're a fat American

24/07/16 12:15:09

This sink's too low, I keep catching my floppy in it.

02/02/15 12:55:51

EAT YER GREENS YER LITTLE BASTARDS!

17/12/14 12:20:01

Flower powered cars, it's the fushcia!

28/10/14 21:32:30

Stay out of his way, he's a cyclepath

02/10/13 12:58:16

lol

Alzheimer patients at the Christmas party

♫ Do..they..know..it's..Christmas..time..at all ♫

12/09/13 15:01:56

11/08/12 11:05:14

01/09/17 13:57:20

14/11/16 21:17:45

08/11/16 8:45:09

01/11/16 13:53:38

Hey Mum, you know my stakeboard I put on ebay? somebody's placed a Bid on it.

17/10/16 15:58:09

We found him washed up on some beech Sir.

06/12/14 8:29:08

The crack of Dawn

12/11/14 8:26:54

I can eat all this because my eyes are actually bigger than my belly!

06/09/13 12:40:57

Milk jugs

05/07/13 12:21:46

If we close our eyes and walk softly then nobody will see us.

27/09/17 9:58:24

Bloody hell Sheila, he's not happy, I told you to get the pyramid bags

22/08/17 9:48:34

Somebody tell her there's tights at the end of the tunnel

13/11/16 12:46:00

- Hey Gary, we're closing the caf shortly, chuck those old tarts out.
- But they're still eating Boss
- The cakes Gary, the Cakes!!!

11/11/16 10:07:16

Look Norman, it's nobody's fault, we've both got alzheimers, we'll just keep walking until one of us remembers the address.

29/10/16 10:23:52

Right then boys, the vasectomy clinic is officially open

28/10/16 15:02:02

Rolling Stones

23/10/16 20:05:45

HEY, don't drive off, I've caught my flipflop in the door

15/09/16 12:43:53

Jeff no longer wanted to be part of his family tree

11/09/16 22:02:40

lol

Sorry Sir these are Priapism toilets

19/08/16 22:31:07

It's a bit of a hard one to figure out. 😉 --Smuldo

Hardly been used, in mint condition.

13/12/14 17:23:26

Give me my change you little bastard

03/12/14 16:37:33

That's the last time I ask for a bloody Mr Whippy on the beach

10/11/14 22:01:23

lol

It's always best to wear protection when you're in the company of masterbakers

03/11/14 14:22:28

And they said he was pigeon chested

07/10/14 12:24:59

Inflation hits local company

28/06/12 11:40:41

Online piggy banking

21/06/12 21:03:22

Careful, if you stroke it too hard it may spit

13/10/14 12:21:42

Mr Bocelli, do you mind if I sit with you? I'm 18, blonde and I have all your albums.

03/09/14 13:58:12

He normally sleeps in remote places

07/10/13 14:00:23

Hen-ry Ford

25/09/13 12:12:15

The new Rover with rear wheel drive

18/07/13 9:46:38

Hi I'm Gary, 30 years old, new to sex dating, looking for somebody that's into watersports.

09/08/12 11:12:47

The Paralympic Games start off with the 100 metre Incontinence Sprint.

11/07/12 11:14:34

- What do I do with the knob Granny?
- Who Grandad? just run him down!

13/09/17 10:37:49

20/11/16 8:00:59

06/11/16 20:11:31

31/10/16 12:32:48

8 hours clothes shopping with the missus

20/10/16 12:09:44

You could handover your card and wait in the pub........... --Andrea Hickling

For god sake Charlotte give it up, your just going round in circles

22/09/16 13:48:26

Poor Grandad, I do hope he settles in ok at the new nursing home.

01/06/15 17:44:56

Look at that old git...tar

03/03/15 16:15:36

Now serving Fine Ales

24/02/15 11:36:57

Drawn to her legs

18/11/14 7:18:10

Not quite the purple rinse she was expecting

11/11/14 18:46:28

She's pining

10/11/14 10:45:24

This is Judith, she is head of photography.

09/11/14 14:14:39

Bomb the bass

03/11/14 20:19:03

Lost property at Alton Tower's AIR ride

02/11/14 12:10:11

News at Pantene

18/09/17 9:35:08

Nobody wants to see a dog in fishnets

24/11/16 12:17:34

If swallowed, this item could give you serious hang-ups

13/11/16 20:00:57

Give me some skin man!

17/10/16 23:28:23

I wish she'd stop rolling her eyes at me

14/10/16 12:18:38

Engine Block

13/10/16 12:51:54

Poker face

21/09/16 10:55:58

Chris Honey, don't be upset, you're on holiday, It's just a silly caption game

12/09/16 14:23:43

Don't be so picky Mr/Mrs Anon. Brave enough to put the comment but not brave enough to put your name to it? Now that's silly. --Paul Reeve

Dog Glover

06/09/16 13:13:54

clever

Gravy Digger

01/09/16 12:44:33

The leaning Toaster of Pizza

23/08/16 22:11:19

Driving Off Licence

21/08/16 9:00:42

Britney Speared

22/07/16 21:24:01

"oops eye did it again" --Ross Davidson

Bugsy Malone

02/03/15 12:15:31

Water proofreading

11/02/15 12:02:16

Police warn of phony items being sold on ebay.

21/01/15 10:13:55

We'll have to use the stairs I'm afraid, we were hoping the artwork might give the place a lift.

20/01/15 10:21:08

Widow shopping

12/01/15 15:12:36

This is Rosemary's bike

13/12/14 17:25:35

Rodney, where's the bloody boat, you've made me look a right plonker.

18/11/14 14:17:16

Does my fanny look big in this?

12/11/14 9:49:11

After a long day Clair looked frazzled

05/11/14 9:59:46

The Raven Mad Award

27/10/14 15:31:22

Having the horn added another string to his bow

27/10/14 8:14:19

Fancy a bit of ruff

21/10/14 22:03:49

Circle of Friends

09/09/14 9:25:33

Dan hated being with Janine when she was on her monthly cycle.

13/09/13 14:25:09

Sorry for the decay sir, here's your beer.

24/08/13 9:00:31

Morecherry beer please.

24/08/13 8:53:00

Brief encounter

10/08/12 13:26:12

In a roundabout way

29/06/12 11:00:21

New Vantastic crash diet

18/06/12 11:02:39

Mac book Air

05/06/12 11:05:24

Father Jack's Birthday Party

04/06/12 21:25:11

Feelix

28/05/12 11:33:45

Arghh...I asked for Purrri Purrri sauce

22/08/17 12:46:51

SMOGGY

11/01/17 10:04:11

Sue she

08/12/16 12:04:45

Fish n Chaps

03/12/16 13:43:51

3 yellow cards, foul language, red mist and bloody penalties!...and that wasn't even in the stadium!

22/11/16 10:40:29

David Chill blaine

20/11/16 8:02:23

Pedigree Chums

16/11/16 8:00:50

Tex on the beach

11/11/16 22:06:56

He's on the verge of deep sleep

06/11/16 12:04:53

Jamal Fix It

28/10/16 9:55:21

Photosynthesis

29/09/16 10:20:43

3 doughnuts!

28/09/16 13:08:01

John's state of the art surgery was a life saber

27/09/16 21:48:41

Hi Dear, I'll be back soon, just having an old friend for lunch!

20/09/16 14:09:41

Pecknic

20/09/16 8:30:20

Clair thought the models looked really good in their outfits, but they couldn't see it themselves

12/09/16 20:38:42

Quick Claire, act deranged, security's coming.

05/09/16 20:39:00

Later that day Richard Branson completely lost the plot and threw his wife's settee out

04/09/16 8:31:38

They parked by the quay so they could open the lock

03/09/16 12:36:44

The search for the man struck by last night's lightning has now been called off

02/09/16 21:26:06

Swimming fools

02/09/16 8:09:51

Triffic cones

30/08/16 22:52:06

There was always going to be one person out there that suffers from Hair Accessory Addiction.

22/08/16 12:31:48

Well at least it's better than taking the broken lift 'Elevator temporarily a box'

27/07/16 20:55:40

If I can't connect via USA then I'll try USB

03/02/15 21:10:10

Ditch the bitch!

20/01/15 11:27:32

Bird watchers

16/01/15 9:42:23

Manana

15/01/15 15:50:12

A good head for lights

13/01/15 18:29:36

Yule tied

21/12/14 20:59:25

At the candyfloss machine factory, carol awaits disciplinary action for not wearing a hair net

14/12/14 10:28:54

19/11/14 18:16:16

17/11/14 16:10:36

03/11/14 20:36:27

03/11/14 16:18:00

27/10/14 21:36:39

26/10/14 13:46:54

15/10/14 12:28:53

Horse thinks - What's up, not enough dressage on that?

15/10/14 12:27:25

"John, bring me the ice bucket quickly"

17/09/14 9:16:20

Haircut 100

15/09/14 18:32:14

What's more unusual is the woman behind him walking through customs with a missile.

11/09/14 10:00:20

Bras and Stripes

10/09/14 11:45:41

That's odd, somebody has nicked my trousers but left the fly!?

08/09/14 17:19:45

Hi there, my name is Steve. I've just seen your advert online. You say you're looking for somebody medium height, tanned and very bubbly. I think I could be your man!

30/09/13 15:02:50

And it wasn't just her breasts, she also poured it over her udder bits

05/07/13 12:33:21

Don't worry madam, it will arrive in discreet packaging

13/07/12 9:57:15

Another embarrassing childhood memory

27/06/12 12:21:47

Susie practices standing at 45 degrees after hearing that the Captain of this cruise is Francesco Schettino

12/06/12 12:22:06

Government health warning poster: Bubble gum can cause blindness, instant erections and possibly death

03/06/12 11:00:27

Oh deer!

01/06/12 11:00:29

Latest Illegal immigrant to be caught by UK border patrol

30/05/12 20:59:18

Has anybody got a 'Punch Her' repair kit?

02/09/14 13:37:00

Smokey and the one armed Bandit

10/10/13 9:49:57

I wasn't expecting the journey to Mars to be like this...I think i've changed my mind...10..9..8...

08/10/13 12:06:12

Prancing on Ice

30/09/13 14:44:11

fastish and very furious 70

26/09/13 9:27:38

Normally he plays on the ferries, P&O.

16/09/13 12:12:03

Ska Wars

14/09/13 17:15:24

Two faced cat

13/09/13 20:08:42

I'm Sorry George, just ignore them, I didn't realise the boat ride went past the beer garden where all your mates drink......oh look the footy's on as well.

13/09/13 17:18:27

I f**kin told her weeks ago the match was on this Sunday.

13/09/13 13:55:07

Speed daters

13/09/13 13:48:04

She turned her nose up at the window cleaning job.

11/09/13 13:21:49

Papa Roach

11/09/13 10:45:18

Fist of fury

23/08/13 12:01:19

more captions

last comments (total: 57)

My daughter never forgave me for the time I picked her up from school wearing an umbrella hat. In my defence, it was raining and I was on crutches so I didn't have a hand free to hold an umbrella.

Pussy Galore

30/05/17
11:23am

comment on caption:
DAD!!!, PLEASE DON'T PICK ME UP FROM SCHOOL AGAIN!!! [Tiny Alien]

♬ You know you make me want to shite...

Troompa Loompa

22/08/17
8:53pm

comment on caption:
Lulu's earrings [Tiny Alien]

My mention of the two Ronnies seems to have opened up the archives. And it's goodnight from me.

[anon]

31/08/17
10:29am

comment on caption:
Do you have a book on Fly Fishing by J R Hartley? [Tiny Alien]

Am I missing something? I don't understand.

Pussy Galore

31/08/17
1:47pm

comment on caption:
Do you have a book on Fly Fishing by J R Hartley? [Tiny Alien]

Old 1980s advert for yellow pages featured the book which was also spoofed by 80s comedy shows. The idea was that it's very rare and difficult to find.