Click a photo to add a caption.
Stiff drinks
07/11/23 20:00:28
"The toilet is key to this. Otherwise, we'd have nothing to go on."
03/11/23 12:04:15
"No need to put your name in your coat, I don't think anyone will nick it"
24/10/23 19:06:22
"So, do you make a good living being a professional captioneer?"
22/10/23 19:29:21
You should always check the small print before booking a cheap all inclusive holiday.
21/10/23 11:03:17
Traumatised as a child, Tim vowed he'd never miss an ice cream van ever again...
15/10/23 7:09:58
Girls beehiving badly.
14/10/23 7:21:10
"I don't have time for this shit."
12/10/23 11:26:04
Land Phil.
10/10/23 7:03:26
Butt on mushroom
03/10/23 7:02:45
The new chicken McThugget
01/10/23 7:51:10
Sigourney Wiener
27/09/23 19:04:37
''Of course I emptied the pot before I put it on my head. What kind of imbecile do you think I am?''
25/09/23 7:40:05
"I can accept you getting him a set of dentures Dave but I'm not happy about the tongue piercing. "
16/09/23 11:15:36
Bread Astair.
15/09/23 7:33:44
A Pail of Two Kitties
12/09/23 11:07:14
This is what happens when you meet people on Grindr.
31/08/23 19:42:29
Scratching post.
26/08/23 19:08:19
Obviously not a Diplomat.
22/08/23 12:16:52
Nun Smoking Area
19/08/23 11:08:21
"Maybe I shouldn't have kept the chickens in the same shed as the uranium."
16/08/23 11:07:06
“Our Amazon driver has left your ‘Self Inflato-Mary’ in a hidden location outside your property.”
28/07/23 7:08:15
''I wish the kids would play outside instead of always being under my feet.''
18/07/23 11:18:12
Scream in pain
21/06/23 7:01:38
This Morning audience watch in silence as Holly tries to seperate itself from giant fruitcake.
13/06/23 11:18:20
It was far safer than reading it on the web.
05/06/23 11:01:51
"What a ridiculous orange nose!" thought the snowman.
03/06/23 19:00:31
🎵 Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner.............
15/05/23 11:00:38, edited: 15/05/23 11:02:02
The Caked Crusader
15/05/23 11:00:13
"Watch out, he's charging!"
11/05/23 11:00:53
Lavish
06/05/23 7:00:54
Going down the slide was a near death experience
01/05/23 11:06:38
This photo looks like it has been digitally enhanced.
28/04/23 7:00:10
"How's Dave's job going?""He's doing well. In fact he's just asked for a bigger celery."
24/04/23 11:07:02
Buoy scouts
24/04/23 7:16:18
It was the perfect place to stay for a couple of knights
20/04/23 9:58:07
Driving Miss Daisy
04/04/23 11:00:07
“Were there any signs your 4 year old was planning to run away?”
30/03/23 11:18:22, edited: 30/03/23 11:26:32
Diary entry. 23.03.23It's my second day of being a vegetarian. The hallucinations are getting worse and anywhere I know there's meat, I imagine it being a huge delicious burger and I want to eat it. Today was also my Nan's funeral which was horrible when the hearse arrived.
23/03/23 20:00:40
A pooh dunnit murder mystery
22/03/23 8:04:13
"Darling, I think your mother may have fallen out of bed again"
18/03/23 12:01:19
Please don't return me to Jan I'm not lost I'm looking for June she is so much hotter.
11/03/23 8:24:29
He's not the messiah, he's a very knotty boy!
09/03/23 9:09:03
SPY BALLOON SCANDAL: Germany denies any involvement.
18/02/23 8:00:12
"Well done Dave. Now that's much better than your previous 'Grab the Cock' sign.
17/02/23 8:05:41
Reports that The Simpsons cast members were caught stealing in Iran.
11/02/23 12:04:02
Later that afternoon Dave fell and killed himself working on the flat above. But that's another storey.
10/02/23 20:05:24
So what? I wore a tank top.
09/02/23 20:01:57
Beryl was asked to help with the protest if she had nothing on.
30/01/23 12:01:45
They just can't go straight
29/01/23 20:11:00
Looks like the drink has gone to his head.
27/01/23 20:16:40
She's got horizon him.
25/01/23 21:02:59
“Mayday mayday mayday”.
16/01/23 20:00:14
"When did you notice Nan going downhill?..."
30/12/22 8:23:34, edited: 30/12/22 8:23:58
A piano owned by the composer of the Jaws theme.
12/12/22 20:00:10
“This is a visitor announcement. Due to a tragic incident earlier today at the zoo, we are no longer able to sell frisbees in the gift shop.”
08/12/22 20:00:11
“Damn, it’s locked.”
07/12/22 20:00:13
"I told you Mum's wheelchair was too wide"
28/11/22 8:43:30
Not everyone could carry that outfit off like Dave, let alone at their mother-in-laws funeral wake
22/11/22 20:00:38
''When did you first notice it was different to your right foot?''
19/11/22 8:03:52
All she wanted was to have a nice picnic, AND NOW SHE'S DEAD!
01/11/22 12:03:59
Party like it's 1889
26/10/22 19:00:34
WARNING ⚠️ Look out for Crocs
19/10/22 7:02:42
The Grim Sweeper
13/10/22 11:01:09
03/10/22 19:00:50
Another graduate from the Theresa May School of Dancing.
24/09/22 7:01:47
Some people shouldn't be allowed to raise children.
16/09/22 11:00:35
''Does anyone else want to object to the wedding?''
05/09/22 19:04:56
£50
11/08/22 7:00:12
I keep tripping when I wear these.
05/08/22 20:03:39
"How do you think Private Fritz will react when we fire him out the cannon?""I think he'll go ballistic."
16/07/22 7:01:38
...IN THE NMAE OF LVOE
08/07/22 7:55:04
"Took me sixty years but I finally remembered which tree I chained my bike to."
29/06/22 11:49:59
His name is Clop. We need to clip Clop.
15/06/22 7:50:48
"I warned you not to go on the sunbed for too long Zippy."
22/05/22 19:10:33
🎵 He's got a cricket to ride
10/05/22 11:18:59
"Perfect, my last batch was a little on the dark side."
29/03/22 19:28:20
“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are no longer cruising at 30,000 feet … but, on the plus side, the stewardess has opened the buffet.”
24/02/22 20:04:49
"Hi dad! Mum's been cooking again."
16/02/22 20:32:37
“If he could see how loved his work is now Vincent would be grinning from ear to bandage.”
20/01/22 20:55:13
“Have you had a haircut that wasn’t your fault?”
04/01/22 12:00:49
''Why can't we go any faster, dad?''''There's probably a woman ahead holding up the traffic.''
03/01/22 8:21:01
It's always good to keep your distance from a potential carrier.
28/11/21 20:00:14
That was a good idea baiting the traps with Haribo
26/11/21 8:01:45
''On reflection, thirty quid does seem a bit cheap for a luxury spa weekend.''
18/11/21 8:02:43
Archeologists reveal why very few escaped from the Pompeii disaster.
15/11/21 8:48:18
Coming of age
17/10/21 19:44:34
This could spell disaster.
03/10/21 19:33:32
"Welcome to your electric shock aversion therapy session, Anon. So, everytime you say something pedantic or unnecessary, I'll apply a high voltage to...""Actually, you'll find it's not the voltage that's dangerous but the currAAAAAAAAGH!"
02/09/21 12:33:38
"I feel like people treat me differently because of the colour of my skin."
27/08/21 19:08:39
...and escorted off the premises.
20/07/21 11:28:58
"Gotcha. Caught red-handed. Have you anything to say?""Miaow"
28/06/21 11:39:48
The photographer was slammed for airbrushing the basketballs from this picture.
15/06/21 7:48:11
"Your wife asked me to bring the baby in to see you.And she wanted to know, how your ingrowing toenail was doing?"
18/05/21 7:04:39
''She's going to need plastic surgery.''
17/05/21 19:00:15
"And this is your loft access"Terry wasn't your stereotypical estate agent.
22/04/21 19:00:14
"The finish line please driver. I just can't be arsed today."
19/04/21 11:06:37
The relationship ended when Gladys pulled a Mussel
13/04/21 19:45:32
"I'm sorry luv, but Noah said I'm only allowed to bring one, and Nancy's got better tits."
06/04/21 11:26:41
"Now, if you'll all sit quietly, I'll explain which bone is connected to which without making a song and dance about it."
03/04/21 11:25:31
