lol creative clever

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are no longer cruising at 30,000 feet … but, on the plus side, the stewardess has opened the buffet.”

24/02/22 20:04:49

You can never be sure if he's in

17/02/22 12:02:23

Ahh look, she’s drifted off

04/04/22 8:00:17

lol x2

That awkward moment when the Wimbledon Men’s Singles trophy gets stuck in your afro.

25/02/22 12:00:50

creative

That was the agreement - I act out "I'm a little teapot" and you do "Humpty Dumpty"

24/02/22 12:30:11

lol x2

“Look, I’m sorry! … but you DID ask, and it does look big.”

01/04/22 12:19:59

It did the trick - the next day, William Work was elected to the position of Girlfiend

04/04/22 13:09:14

There is evidence that the US has penetrated Putin's inner circle.

15/04/22 9:27:14

Silly cone implants

13/04/22 8:10:42

“I find your lack of bins disturbing”

17/03/22 8:00:08

Titty Longstocking

16/03/22 20:01:47

lol

Charley says "Safety first: Always wear your gloves"

28/03/22 13:55:17

lol

Don't you hate it when you're having a quiet meal in Frankie and Benny's and someone tells them it's their birthday?

09/02/22 12:27:46

It was a great performance but his vow of silence marred the acapella section.

30/03/22 12:35:42

"I think we should call it a night Dave. I need to get these two home - they're absolutely legless."

09/03/22 8:23:05

It's no good. The suspension can't take it. You're going to have to get off and walk home son.

18/02/22 8:13:14

"Bernard, do us a favour would you? Next time we pass that bumpy bit over there, could you lean out and pick our teeth up?"

04/03/22 12:49:13

Definitely not a great catch

02/04/22 20:35:26

It’s the same every bloody year! I put them away neatly in January but it still takes me until Boxing Day to untangle them!

01/04/22 8:02:28

There’s no need to panic, miss. To disarm it, you just need to snip the grey wire.

01/04/22 8:00:21

"Wait! Something's happening. It's an 'M' then 'E', an 'O' and a 'W' - does that mean anything to anyone here?"

31/03/22 12:08:01

The first ever Grand National Sweep confused Aintree residents

30/03/22 8:07:01

Looks like the Pendle witch trials are about to get under way

30/03/22 8:06:32

creative

What a shame he broke up with Mrs Ramsbottom. They were made for each other!

10/03/22 8:19:54

Pinch Punch, first of the month

01/03/22 20:06:41

I'm starting to think this isn't our cat-carrier

27/02/20 19:38:56

Headstand

25/01/20 12:30:19

"Don't lean back on that fence Dave, some idiot's removed one of the stanchions"

06/05/22 10:52:03

"Ladies and gentlemen, the cabin crew will now give a pre-flight safety demonstration. Please pay attention to the location of the emergency exits .. unlike that idiot on the last flight."

22/03/22 12:48:51

I hate when he makes rude shadow puppets on mum's arm

27/02/22 20:47:58

“Don’t walk on the polished floor in that skirt, sir! You might expose your inner circle.”

14/04/22 12:11:25

"Well it's not bad professor but why have you made it look like a cowardly, rat-faced psychopath?"

12/04/22 22:15:07

“Come on Karen, we’ll never hitch a lift like that. Flash a bit of root or something!”

Nod to 12:00:06

07/04/22 12:07:58

"Thank you for applying to McDonald's. Firstly, can you tell us what recent experience you have of stealing fries and crapping on people?"

03/04/22 12:39:07

I guess his dad is sleeping with the fishes

02/04/22 20:37:38

I’m beginning to wish I’d never bought an Australian cat

17/03/22 12:04:02

"Hello, is that 777-777? Could you call an ambulance please? My finger is stuck in the telephone dial"

15/03/22 8:52:57

"I knew that didn't sound right! Who's drawn a cock and balls on my music?"

14/03/22 12:18:53

"So, what kind of fish are you?"

"Don't tell him pike!"

08/03/22 8:10:25

"It looks like you've missed a bit Laura"

"Yeah, I'm waiting to see if he gets that foot pump working"

07/03/22 15:08:15

Cor Blimey! Would you Adam’n’Eve it? I can’t believe my mince pies. I can see her raspberry ripple!

25/02/22 12:01:20

Excuse me ladies, would you happen to know anything about the pier falling down?

23/05/20 17:30:46

Be grateful you've got a root over your head!

13/12/19 13:56:49

"Damn this modern technology! My Apple's frozen again."

12/04/22 12:22:23

Hey, that's the Nigerian bloke who promised me $30,000,000 for £250 postage and packing!

06/04/22 20:21:32

"What do you mean 'well hung'? I haven't even started painting it yet!"

06/04/22 12:49:28

At least one of them is about to go apeshit

04/04/22 20:01:48

Argh! Bloody Autocorrect!

04/04/22 12:58:42

"Pass me a handful of cat litter would you He-Man, this cubicle is completely out"

23/03/22 8:07:25

If I had a pound for every dog I've caught...

23/03/22 6:59:20

I enjoy using the sinks but I refuse to pull the knob on the soap dispenser

18/03/22 8:07:41

Inside each wrapper it says "sorry, you're a loser" ...and there isn't even a competition on.

23/02/22 12:21:02

It won't balance like that. It's Boun-ty fall over.

23/02/22 12:10:03

Sleeping on the jobbie

23/02/22 8:33:38

Who's busted the ceiling?

22/02/22 12:43:03

Emma's Do-It-Yourself Helicopter idea never really took off.

16/02/22 8:24:01

Cat on a hot Chin Wu

03/06/20 20:17:58

Chomping at the butt

16/10/19 20:21:48

Thanks love. They're gorgeous! ...but what am I going to do with matching staplers!?

15/10/19 20:46:23

Come on! Step on it!

18/12/18 21:34:54

If you wore a shirt or bought jeans with pockets, you'd have somewhere to put your comb and then you might not look so girly in the first place.

06/05/22 11:44:23

It was when she revealed where she put the garlic baguette that the trouble started

05/05/22 8:08:43

"I don't mind the cucumber and salad cream Brian but I don't like where they shove the celery"

07/04/22 8:11:31

"Come on Susan! Hurry up! The 12pm caption is due"

01/04/22 8:06:17

I prefer the B-side: "Kick back with my enormous shoes"

29/03/22 12:52:07

Don't throw your junk in the river!

25/03/22 12:15:35

"Lather it up, Fuzzball"

21/03/22 21:00:18

Ooh, your back looks saw

20/03/22 11:20:33

“Pooh’s daily exorcise isn’t working,” thought Tigger. “If anything, he keeps getting fatter.”

18/03/22 12:00:22

"Ugh! That things belongs at the bottom of the sea!"

"Yes and look, there's a squid parked next to it!"

16/03/22 8:10:41

“Hello there. 01-91-48-36-55 please. Oh, and some prawn crackers.”

15/03/22 8:08:36

“I hope one day someone invents an easier way to light a cigarette”

14/03/22 8:09:51

Dave refuses to admit he may have overstacked the dishwasher

11/03/22 20:00:29

...Must be willing to service the back doors

02/03/22 8:04:34

It's turtley dead

27/02/22 8:16:19

Baptism of … “FIRE!”

25/02/22 20:00:06

Daddy's going to be so pleased when he sees how short this ride-on mower can cut the grass

25/02/22 8:01:45

Sloping ceilings have always had their knockers

22/02/22 12:03:24

I am sorry about the damage to your car sir, but unless Imran's head goes under, it's not deep enough to be classed as a pothole.

17/02/22 20:11:13

Where the Hell is that other sock!

24/02/19 20:11:13

There was a disappointing crowd for the Synchronised Farting Championships.

09/05/22 9:51:21

The main problem with installing a commode on the back of an invisible bike is that you can’t see where you’re going.

06/05/22 20:02:59

If you can read this, you're too close!

28/04/22 9:01:29

I hope he's sent away with a flea in his ear

21/04/22 14:26:14

"So Dave, if accepted, what qualities would you bring to Clown School?"

21/04/22 10:33:01

The familiar look of someone midway through a lateral flow test.

11/04/22 20:19:43

"...and Sellafield Ladies take the lead!"

Nod to 20:03:28

06/04/22 1:28:17

“W-will you go Ooo Ooo Ooot with me?”

01/04/22 12:20:25

"Hey Daddy! Isn’t that stewardess Nancy down there?"

24/03/22 8:16:19

There are one or two safety concerns but at least she shouldn’t get hit by a ship

24/03/22 8:11:19

The recipe said cover with foil and serve with a head of lettuce

21/03/22 12:40:42

Have you seen the size of that sinkhole?

18/03/22 8:08:11

"I don't care if you've brought breakfast! Get out of my hotel room!"

11/03/22 14:45:56

Stop messing about Homer! We can tell it's you

04/03/22 8:14:00

I told you we should have called an Eweber

03/03/22 8:17:34

Look, little brother, I’ve saved you this from when I was on the pickit line

01/03/22 12:04:25

"Hey! Look over there! There's a woman throwing lobsters off a trawler!"

26/02/22 9:41:38

Do you want to carry this one or the one with the handle?

24/02/22 12:00:45

No mum, I did not spend a night on the tiles!

23/02/22 9:36:27

The "Cats" movie fails to excite the audience even in 3D

20/01/22 14:38:38