Drowning street

14/05/19 8:16:41

"I just spotted some ridiculous hare in the mirror"
"Well wear a hat or get it cut, Donald"

08/05/22 20:03:49

"Shit, I keep forgetting i'm gay"

09/06/19 8:27:52

Foot soldier

12/05/19 8:07:18

Pooched eggs.

01/01/19 20:00:30

I usually steer clear of spicy food.

02/05/19 12:21:13

My new home is growing on me.

26/11/18 8:11:21

Super king cobra.

30/10/18 20:14:37

Laura was so distracted by the flies she never noticed the carnivorous eyeball flower making it's move.

14/06/19 9:57:40

"Whoa whoa whoa!, piss off I have six lives left, God"

12/06/19 8:37:29

They never did find the 1956 hide and seek champion.

16/12/18 20:01:45

That time grandma bought me a Teenage mutant ninja turtle costume from WISH

28/04/22 20:00:43

Desmond chew chew

19/06/19 8:07:16

clever

'Visitors to local beach warned of escaped black, poisonous salamander seen diving into peoples boats'

17/05/19 8:09:39

Raising a child.

07/05/19 20:00:20

Hairy queen of scots.

04/05/19 20:00:38

Headlights

09/11/18 20:00:16

The others had no idea what the Y.M.C.A was.

28/12/18 8:13:44

Faeces of evil

01/05/22 14:18:40

Peter looked up an old flame.

15/06/19 12:05:29

H.R.T

04/05/19 20:02:10

The bike thief was eventually busted.

25/11/18 8:49:08

He couldn't workout how to spell properly.

10/11/18 22:30:21

I'll never look at a Cadburys caramel the same way again.

Wed 12:00:41

His wife is four hours behind them on their pet centipede.
It was putting its shoes on.

10/05/22 12:00:46

'Next stop Edinburgh Waverley'

16/05/19 21:38:07

Au what a lovely pair!

09/05/19 9:03:47

My Sweet Lord.

24/12/18 20:14:05

"Dave, you're going to kill yourself!"
"Oh don't be daft i only smoke five a day!"

20/12/18 20:03:52

I hate bloody clowns.

09/11/18 8:01:41

"Bwa Bwa aaaaaa Bwa ba ba Bwa schaaa Bwa aaaaa"
"Is your imaginary motorcycle a Harley Davison, Boris?"

"No no I was just trying to say, bloody chuffed to be out riding with you, Mr Schwarzenneger!"

08/05/22 8:02:16

Cone and the barbarian

02/05/22 13:06:12

Areola GRANDE

03/06/19 12:49:42

Roundhog day

01/06/19 8:01:29

The sun always shines on TV.

15/05/19 12:48:36

Messcara

05/05/19 20:04:58

Poor sole.

19/12/18 12:18:50

Purrfect ten.

04/11/18 12:00:43

They hook up so young in africa

Mon 8:00:18

Sky lab.

11/05/22 12:14:27

"I think I've had my drink spiked and I'm hallucinating, Melania, I'm sure of it"
"What makes you think that, Donald?"
"Well... You never had a wart on your cock before"

08/05/22 20:12:11

He thinks he's a persian

03/05/22 12:00:16

Dictators don't see Eye to eye with anyone.

24/04/22 20:00:42

He can't find his ho ho hotel.

13/06/19 20:00:35

I had my fingers in a fat hairy monster last night too whose eyes weren't much straighter. Not really a caption i'm just letting my fellow captioneers know i'm quitting Jack Daniels.

19/05/19 13:10:14

Trans parent

18/05/19 20:33:32

Spot the ginger bred man.

13/05/19 12:03:37

"Hey, mummy, you can delete tinder and those rude photos I saw on your phone, I've made you a man of your own... I love you, mummy"

10/05/19 8:01:32

Dinner is served, miss money penne.

06/05/19 12:02:17

Unchained melody

17/12/18 8:07:30

Brad was hoping not to bump into any pricks today.

07/11/18 12:13:10

"Everyone stand if you believe in wearing Asda jeans and Primark t-shirts wooooh!"

07/11/18 8:53:11

"Use your clutch properly, Moira, you're coasting"

05/11/18 15:20:30

Nothing worse than a 69 with a smelly fat dog.

Fri 12:00:24

Stronger than a tiger, braver than ten lions, faster than a pu... BANG!... i want my mummy!

Mon 12:01:05

Is that a pizza pouch down his pants?

05/05/22 20:04:28

A good hearty breakfast makes your day but this one will make your hole weak.

21/05/19 12:35:37

Weehicle

17/05/19 20:22:23

Power station

15/05/19 14:17:37

"Malcolm, why is the lampshade from my bedroo... You little SHIT! "

10/05/19 8:02:55

Trom Bone

08/05/19 15:14:11

Santa's chopper is next to his sack.

22/12/18 8:04:00

What a paw performance.

17/12/18 8:29:27

"Sniff, sniff, sniff... Mum?

04/11/18 22:24:15

Chuckie

Mon 20:01:53

Holy shit

15/05/22 20:00:13

"Why don't you want to go outside in the rain to kiss me, Mr owl?"
"Too wet to woo"

11/05/22 20:01:57

"No, Donald, I said I'm excited at your election"

08/05/22 20:39:31

"So I says... murder her today and you'll be out in 20 years"
She didn't see the funny side"

04/05/22 20:01:00

A man decorated my home during lockdown and told me he was a furloughed pilot!

He made a lovely job of the landing.

03/05/22 20:02:22

Рфкшщ пфк щбюждлоп мишдхфйц аыцвк.

02/05/22 12:58:27

Running on the balls of your feet is bad for you

02/06/19 12:08:35

Screen teste.

19/05/19 8:00:56

"No you pervert I said if you come near my window i'll make sure you get slayed!"

15/05/19 9:29:42

"Why is your beak bleeding?"
"You see that tree over there?"
"Yeah"
"Well I didn't"

11/05/19 16:12:06

I'll have two slippery nipples please!

01/01/19 12:08:58

'row row row your boat, gently up the... Shit!

23/12/18 8:01:17

Hairy Connick junior

17/12/18 8:00:32

Mary wont fly with Ryanair again.

14/12/18 9:16:40

Stackosaurus

05/12/18 12:01:30

Leaf by the back door.

26/11/18 8:12:17

"Ermmm... dave, that wasn't a brown trout you just ate"

15/11/18 12:53:34

Keep your ring clean with Zivic soap.

08/11/18 20:02:10

"So, wots ya favourite position?"
"ooh I love reclining on my favourite chair watching the chase"

06/11/18 8:24:12

Stevie Wonder is struggling in his new job after retiring from the music scene.

05/11/18 9:42:10

Paul is allowed to have a nap at work. It's his dream job.

Thu 20:00:31

The young couple were found guilty and each received a 30 year stretch.

Mon 8:02:11

Chronic the hedgehog

15/05/22 10:47:34

Now that screen there will show the Cat scan but just relax it's not what you think.

13/05/22 8:00:46

All musicians during the lockdown had their balls squeezed

12/05/22 20:03:03

President Obama held a baby and it stopped crying.
Bush holds a sandwich and the lettuce died.

10/05/22 20:18:45

Excellent photo-shop skills and so realistic the way they've removed his soapbox and inserted a stool.

09/05/22 21:18:14

"There we go... Saved to camera roll"

09/05/22 12:01:24

"I love you Flora"
"My names Laura"

"Yes but you spread easily"

02/05/22 8:43:12

Davies £1000 love-doll from Wish was sold as 'Ultra real, sensuous bear skin feel'.

01/05/22 8:01:04

"Hi, my names 'The national'"

"Well hi, and how do I enter the national?"

01/05/22 7:55:24

Sob sob " I can't believe the store closes next week and one of us will break up"

29/04/22 12:00:42

I'd rather wok than drive on this.

28/04/22 14:47:36

S'motherly love.

Fri 12:00:53

"Drrrrraa Drrraaa pow! Pow! Say hello to my liitle friend, make my day punk, Drrraaa...
" Be quiet, Billy, you're drawing too much attention to us"

Tue 20:01:12