Drowning street

14/05/19 8:16:41

"Shit, I keep forgetting i'm gay"

09/06/19 8:27:52

Foot soldier

12/05/19 8:07:18

Pooched eggs.

01/01/19 20:00:30

I usually steer clear of spicy food.

02/05/19 12:21:13

My new home is growing on me.

26/11/18 8:11:21

Super king cobra.

30/10/18 20:14:37

Laura was so distracted by the flies she never noticed the carnivorous eyeball flower making it's move.

14/06/19 9:57:40

"Whoa whoa whoa!, piss off I have six lives left, God"

12/06/19 8:37:29

They never did find the 1956 hide and seek champion.

16/12/18 20:01:45

Desmond chew chew

19/06/19 8:07:16

clever

'Visitors to local beach warned of escaped black, poisonous salamander seen diving into peoples boats'

17/05/19 8:09:39

Raising a child.

07/05/19 20:00:20

Hairy queen of scots.

04/05/19 20:00:38

Headlights

09/11/18 20:00:16

The others had no idea what the Y.M.C.A was.

28/12/18 8:13:44

Peter looked up an old flame.

15/06/19 12:05:29

H.R.T

04/05/19 20:02:10

The bike thief was eventually busted.

25/11/18 8:49:08

He couldn't workout how to spell properly.

10/11/18 22:30:21

'Next stop Edinburgh Waverley'

16/05/19 21:38:07

Au what a lovely pair!

09/05/19 9:03:47

My Sweet Lord.

24/12/18 20:14:05

"Dave, you're going to kill yourself!"
"Oh don't be daft i only smoke five a day!"

20/12/18 20:03:52

I hate bloody clowns.

09/11/18 8:01:41

Areola GRANDE

03/06/19 12:49:42

Roundhog day

01/06/19 8:01:29

The sun always shines on TV.

15/05/19 12:48:36

Messcara

05/05/19 20:04:58

Poor sole.

19/12/18 12:18:50

Purrfect ten.

04/11/18 12:00:43

He can't find his ho ho hotel.

13/06/19 20:00:35

I had my fingers in a fat hairy monster last night too whose eyes weren't much straighter. Not really a caption i'm just letting my fellow captioneers know i'm quitting Jack Daniels.

19/05/19 13:10:14

Trans parent

18/05/19 20:33:32

Spot the ginger bred man.

13/05/19 12:03:37

"Hey, mummy, you can delete tinder and those rude photos I saw on your phone, I've made you a man of your own... I love you, mummy"

10/05/19 8:01:32

Dinner is served, miss money penne.

06/05/19 12:02:17

Unchained melody

17/12/18 8:07:30

Brad was hoping not to bump into any pricks today.

07/11/18 12:13:10

"Everyone stand if you believe in wearing Asda jeans and Primark t-shirts wooooh!"

07/11/18 8:53:11

"Use your clutch properly, Moira, you're coasting"

05/11/18 15:20:30

A good hearty breakfast makes your day but this one will make your hole weak.

21/05/19 12:35:37

Weehicle

17/05/19 20:22:23

Power station

15/05/19 14:17:37

"Malcolm, why is the lampshade from my bedroo... You little SHIT! "

10/05/19 8:02:55

Trom Bone

08/05/19 15:14:11

Santa's chopper is next to his sack.

22/12/18 8:04:00

What a paw performance.

17/12/18 8:29:27

"Sniff, sniff, sniff... Mum?

04/11/18 22:24:15

Running on the balls of your feet is bad for you

02/06/19 12:08:35

Screen teste.

19/05/19 8:00:56

"No you pervert I said if you come near my window i'll make sure you get slayed!"

15/05/19 9:29:42

"Why is your beak bleeding?"
"You see that tree over there?"
"Yeah"
"Well I didn't"

11/05/19 16:12:06

I'll have two slippery nipples please!

01/01/19 12:08:58

'row row row your boat, gently up the... Shit!

23/12/18 8:01:17

Hairy Connick junior

17/12/18 8:00:32

Mary wont fly with Ryanair again.

14/12/18 9:16:40

Stackosaurus

05/12/18 12:01:30

Leaf by the back door.

26/11/18 8:12:17

"Ermmm... dave, that wasn't a brown trout you just ate"

15/11/18 12:53:34

Keep your ring clean with Zivic soap.

08/11/18 20:02:10

"So, wots ya favourite position?"
"ooh I love reclining on my favourite chair watching the chase"

06/11/18 8:24:12

Stevie Wonder is struggling in his new job after retiring from the music scene.

05/11/18 9:42:10

Like Elton Johns driver after a bad show this guy has picked up a fuming fag also.

18/06/19 10:07:33

'Dream big... don't sit on your goals'

13/06/19 12:03:36

Abzorbing photo.

13/06/19 12:01:01

Wankie Dettori

02/06/19 12:09:43

They're all hoping to cum first.

02/06/19 12:03:49

If Homer Simpson f@#ked an elephant.

02/06/19 10:07:30

Gopher asleep.

01/06/19 8:00:23

Peas are full of iron.

26/05/19 13:06:34

Bust lens.

22/05/19 8:00:36

Brenda remembers the day she never bounced around on her bed again when her parents covered her bedroom ceiling with velcro.

18/05/19 12:02:00

"Darling I have someth..."
...
...
'Brenda why the big pause?"

18/05/19 8:37:38

'mmm, two down, four letters beginning with s... Soft substrate found near the sea?... Oh I give up.'

17/05/19 8:03:04

"Ok, maureen, the good news first... you won't need to run around this christmas buying presents for your eight grandkids"

14/05/19 20:02:24

Only two places at the gallery to hang your wet donkey jackets.

14/05/19 12:54:56

What do you call eighteen drowning lawyers?
A start!

14/05/19 8:18:19

The Bowery buoys.

14/05/19 8:00:29

Fry lightly in trex.

12/05/19 12:03:01

Trainee tightrope walkers in the 1960's made the most of local apparatus.

07/05/19 20:03:19

Gillder

28/12/18 12:01:30

Bank fishing

28/12/18 12:00:42

The worst taste in decor I've ever seen

27/12/18 12:00:44

This alligator is amanita.

25/11/18 12:15:19

Like all coronation street extras you eventually end up on the scrap heap.

21/11/18 8:01:10

Marti returns to leafy suburbia in 'Back to the future part 4!'

19/11/18 8:01:58

CAR casses

12/11/18 20:07:04

Education IS important but a floppy penis is impotenter.

10/11/18 22:33:40

Silliest game of 'guess who' ever.

10/11/18 10:01:29

"It's my twin brother over there you wanna talk to, Sir he was the one filming up your girlfriends dress"

16/06/19 12:02:26

Swarm in bed

16/06/19 10:43:09

Young Jimmy Boyle lay traumatised after watching his aunt Susan shave above him.

16/06/19 8:05:10

Clip-art

15/06/19 20:24:59

Dye for your art.

15/06/19 20:00:38

Faceboak

14/06/19 9:59:04

"Sorry no bluetooth"

10/06/19 20:53:40

"AND some crazy bitch stuck her fingers together!"

09/06/19 8:33:23

"Hmm yeah so there was this guy in the hardware store trying out the new superglue and he stuck his hand to his head!"

09/06/19 8:31:36

Bob told friends he worked as a pedestrian flow manager and avoided the words lackie and dogsbody.

06/06/19 8:04:54

Honey boob boob.

03/06/19 12:02:55

Double take

02/06/19 20:12:02

The race is six furshlongs.

02/06/19 12:07:00

Pew!

27/05/19 12:00:50

Bunsai tree

22/05/19 12:00:32

At least he rescued his breakfast from the house fire.

21/05/19 12:30:16

Chubby chicker

19/05/19 20:06:32

Silverback grilla

19/05/19 20:00:46

'Dawn French has reported Lenny Henry to police after he continually calls her on facetime and stares in silence'

19/05/19 8:58:58

Why did my phone just google a photo of Donald Trump?

19/05/19 8:10:38

Gays n' dolls

18/05/19 20:42:41

She usually received bad feedback on her hairstyle.

18/05/19 12:03:56

"Tamil call you back!"

18/05/19 8:33:34

Massive ferguson

17/05/19 20:15:19

"Hi, my name is doctor Krystlawowsivar"
"Doctor who?"...

14/05/19 20:11:29

Mummy for old rope.

14/05/19 12:52:31

Jane's pussy was often seen halfway up this novel scratching post.

14/05/19 12:44:10

That's the only ride she will be getting.

13/05/19 9:24:31

Little jimmy threatened to kill himself if they made him wear nan's shit shrek mask.

09/05/19 14:07:15

Posh spice let her aunt hear her latest track.

08/05/19 13:44:43

I remember windows dial-up too

08/05/19 9:17:04

Jimmy's dad was stupid
He threw him near a pylon
10,000 volts went up his arse
And turned his hair to nylon.

07/05/19 20:07:11

Even kids in the 60's were always high.

07/05/19 20:00:55

Elvis arm presley.

03/01/19 22:47:09

Rottfowlers

01/01/19 20:03:37

I'm just adding a caption for the halibut.

28/12/18 12:06:07

One skin... Two skin... Three skin... RARRRRR!

19/12/18 8:58:47

Chuckleberry fin

15/12/18 12:01:33

"Wait till we get back and show mum the tree we got in the sail"

04/12/18 20:22:29

The eyes are the windows to the soul.

14/11/18 20:04:51

Our house has a lovely view.

14/11/18 20:03:54

Primary colours

14/11/18 9:17:41

Gordon Ramsay is a knob.

12/11/18 20:07:46

Lean beef

11/11/18 12:00:14

It's sister ship 'kingssavile' was sunk by greenpeace as a Japanese whaling boat with nine dead whales was allowed on its way.

10/11/18 16:05:48

Looks like someone has went for his juggler.

09/11/18 8:00:38

George foam man.

08/11/18 20:08:27

It's ok i'll make it round I drive a mercedes sea class.

05/11/18 15:24:16

After four weeks, Dave's micro pig needs to go.

04/11/18 22:26:45

After Theresa May's speech calamity, someone is back with her tongue.

04/11/18 14:09:24

They ran out of beagles at the laboratory.

30/10/18 20:17:37

Damn you yahoo advertising!

Thu 20:00:30

Mannequin cry seeing such patriotism!

Mon 12:02:24

Stares and stripes.

Mon 12:00:19

Board in traffic

19/06/19 20:52:33

That driver just double crossed the girl with the buggy

19/06/19 20:51:25

False advertising.

19/06/19 8:04:39

'Buy two get third set free!'

19/06/19 8:01:14

"Thith photo can be uthed ath my fathebook profile"... Said Abdul.

17/06/19 20:22:30

Miss thigh gone

17/06/19 12:35:04

Pikachu in da hood!

17/06/19 8:23:48

Peek-a-chu!

17/06/19 8:22:33

So young to be sleeping with all sorts.

16/06/19 8:02:33

Mona lezza

15/06/19 20:08:25

Fireballs

15/06/19 12:04:35

Nice ball control

15/06/19 12:00:41

John had his catscan today

15/06/19 8:01:52

Bass to mouth

15/06/19 8:01:13

Hook, line and stinker.

15/06/19 8:00:39

"Yule need to get off the road,sir"

13/06/19 20:43:22

Merry caristmas!

13/06/19 20:01:45

Young John is so polite and never causes an atmosphere.

13/06/19 12:05:33

Can you spot the soldier marching in his trainers?

12/06/19 12:05:05

I'm trying to think of a private joke for my fellow captioneers but nothing comes to mind.

12/06/19 12:02:01

'Found outside Buckingham palace last friday: 1 green and yellow banner with 'Trump' on it'

12/06/19 9:34:12

The spayed of light.

12/06/19 8:32:37

Father O'flaherty insisted his first home visit to baby Brendan was alone.

11/06/19 12:02:14

The hand that cocks the cradle.

11/06/19 12:01:00

"Can you do backing vocals too, mate?"
"Yeah I could give out a little whine now and again"

10/06/19 12:42:59

Christian rock

10/06/19 12:40:59

Teletubbies successful in new military diet.

10/06/19 12:36:31

Nosh n' pecs

09/06/19 14:37:03

"I don't have the sick squid so i'll just suck you off"

09/06/19 14:28:34

Tottentotalitarianism

06/06/19 8:01:36

With those lips he looks more like Donald duck.

05/06/19 13:52:08

She has to wear her skirt up there because her knee grows.

04/06/19 8:06:00

Thats a cracking bike!

04/06/19 8:04:21

Bored stiff

03/06/19 12:45:07

"Your coffee is just warming in the perkylator... I mean percolator, mam"

03/06/19 12:39:05

"What have I forgot to do... Hmmm... Errrr?
Oh yeah take the steaks out the freezer"

03/06/19 12:01:34

I once visited a prison in Birmingham and saw a few coons in the hole.

03/06/19 9:34:39

Twin head lights

02/06/19 20:14:32

Twin speaks

02/06/19 20:13:07

Each way wankee bet

02/06/19 12:13:14

Stuck in the Jurassic era.

02/06/19 10:10:05

"Hey, big bird you said it was only an inch deep"
"Yeah it only went up to the ducks wings, Snuffy"

02/06/19 10:06:22

Gopher the tit.

01/06/19 8:00:55

"Does my legs look fat?"

01/06/19 7:52:05

Is the front carrot trying to hide her neeps?

30/05/19 20:52:24

Blanch dubious

30/05/19 20:42:16

I feel grate!

30/05/19 20:36:45

Jazz is so laid back.

29/05/19 20:02:07

"Your holiness, father Benedict has been in there for forty minutes!"
"Well, when he comes out just show him your cross my child"
"RIGHT YOU OLD DICK I'VE PEED MY DRESS BECAUSE OF YOU...ASSHOLE!"

27/05/19 12:08:33

Sleeping on the job

27/05/19 12:03:52

Just five minutes ago a choirboy informed his holiness he was going to the newspapers.

27/05/19 12:00:24

Mushie niblick.

26/05/19 13:09:49

Tom kept abreast of his gardening duties.

22/05/19 12:02:15

Smashing pumpkins.

22/05/19 8:03:14

"Would you like anything else, sir?"

"Yes can I have a tub of sudocream for my arsehole in the morning?"

21/05/19 12:34:01

Nevada and California judges scored nine each for the roundhouse take-down with a very poor three from Texas.

21/05/19 8:16:04