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Al Overy Vote score: 17019Al Overy

"Welcome to your electric shock aversion therapy session, Anon. So, everytime you say something pedantic or unnecessary, I'll apply a high voltage to..."

"Actually, you'll find it's not the voltage that's dangerous but the currAAAAAAAAGH!"

02/09/21 13:33:38

Haha, to avoid that, all you have to do is use your own name like meAAAAAAAAGH! --Willie Johnson
Ian Skelding Vote score: 31740Ian Skelding

Politicians in the mid-20th Century had to go through an annual brain cell reduction session, nowadays they just go through Eton.

02/09/21 12:53:39

"Mummy, why is it that the homeless can't buy their own ponies?" --Glyn Evans
Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

(muffled speech) "...and you say that my asthma will be cured by spending just one hour in a vacuum?"

02/09/21 16:56:21

Actually, you won't hear any speech at all because sound can't travel in a vaAAAAAAAAAGH! --James Lennox
stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

Donald Trump endorses the Covid 19 Home Breathinator. Invented by the My Pillow guy.

02/09/21 12:17:05

And just as comfortable. --Willie Johnson
Mr Dome  Vote score: 16319Mr Dome

Doctor I really don't think your therapy is working and for the love of Christ talk to me directly and take that stupid helmet off

02/09/21 12:54:26

Mark Wilson Vote score: 5069Mark Wilson

"So what are your intentions for my daughter young man?"

02/09/21 17:51:43

Mr Dome  Vote score: 16319Mr Dome

So tell me Mr Jacobs, when did you first start feeling like you were always the subject of experiments?

02/09/21 12:52:52

C CaMel Vote score: 11418C CaMel

“Ok lads, we need to know if spacesuit farts can kill, you’ll probably want to flip a coin before you take your seats.”

02/09/21 12:30:02

Mr Dome  Vote score: 16319Mr Dome

Right - the experiment will begin when I sit on the whoopee cushion

02/09/21 12:27:07

Dave Bryan Vote score: 28582Dave Bryan

''Whenever you speak the telephone gives me an electric shock.''

''I'll try and reverse the charges.''

02/09/21 12:24:01

Karyn Harrison Vote score: 8352Karyn Harrison

"You're having sexy thoughts about Marlene Dietrich. Is that right?"

"No, absolutely not! I was thinking about Josephine Baker."

02/09/21 12:21:27

John  Glover Vote score: 23042John Glover

"Damn, you haven't by any chance, got a shilling for the meter?"

02/09/21 21:35:25

Kenny Ireland Vote score: 6120Kenny Ireland

"Yes. This is perfect. Could you deliver it to 10 Rillington Place please".

02/09/21 12:36:26

Kenny Ireland Vote score: 6120Kenny Ireland

"You see Sir. I place the captioneer where you are and when I press this button it forces them to give a nod".

02/09/21 12:24:33

Mr Dome  Vote score: 16319Mr Dome

Boots were the pioneers of the tanning salon for the Victorian Gentleman, complete with deck chair for that authentic 'beach' experience

02/09/21 12:18:53

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