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"Im sorry luv, but Noah said Im only allowed to bring one, and Nancys got better tits."
"Im sorry luv, but Noah said Im only allowed to bring one, and Nancys got better tits." photo | portfolio
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James Lennox Vote score: 8058James Lennox

"I'm sorry luv, but Noah said I'm only allowed to bring one, and Nancy's got better tits."

06/04/21 12:26:41

 2
"Yes, but I don't think Nancy is the right monkey for you on this trip, Joan," said Percy. :^) --Crunchy Chords
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14011Dave Bryan

''I can't understand why you worry so much about pandemics. We're always the first to get the vaccine.''

06/04/21 12:32:19

 4
"Your votes are still climbing" - like monkeys. --Willie Johnson
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15650Dan Nicholls

"OK, you're safe now. Tell me, where did David Attenborough touch you?"

06/04/21 12:08:17

 2
I am with you - was going to say Terry Nutkins, but was unsure as to audience recognition! --Dan Nicholls
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5188Lucky Elperro

"Cheer up, we'll get you another typewriter."

06/04/21 19:07:36

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33732Tony Edwards

"I don't mean to pry mate, but are you feeling ok?"

06/04/21 12:06:20

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7431Vivvy En

"Yeah, they'll all be back gawping at us on the 12th but you will be able to increase your car badge collection."

06/04/21 19:01:37

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5627Karyn Harrison

"I know, it's a shock that Davy is married with a child, but I think Peter Tork is still single."

06/04/21 16:31:11

 2
Davy and Peter are both dead - that's why she needs to be comforted. --Molly R
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2788Mark Wilson

"It's okay, those windscreen wipers can be tricky to rip off sometimes"

06/04/21 12:38:25

 
Tony S Vote score: 1399Tony S

Don't worry son in our lives we will get called all sorts from monkeys to baboons even orangutans but they are caption writers and don't know any better.

06/04/21 12:13:30

 
SnapDragon D Vote score: 152SnapDragon D

"Sweetheart, I know it's depressing. They got their big break with the book deal, and now a movie. We all see it's just derivative dreck. Gorillas in the Pissed, more like.. am I right? .. Listen.. of course it's going to be tough, but don't lose hope. Just keep honing your craft, going to auditions, your time will come. I promise."

06/04/21 13:48:58

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33732Tony Edwards

"Don't worry about captioneers being sick of the sight of us, we have our own capuchineers."

06/04/21 13:05:00

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 15597Stephen Bean

"Don't worry, you're in your prime mate."

06/04/21 12:20:46

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20292Troompa Loompa

"Did you see the terrible thing that happened to Speak no Evil?"

06/04/21 12:12:47

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15650Dan Nicholls

No darling, not that kind of swinging...

06/04/21 12:00:20

 
Ryan French Vote score: 18Ryan French

Hi.... John your wife's Dead.
And..... I think we may have probably deffently ate her.

06/04/21 23:48:44

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 828Ellen Duncalf

“It’s okay not to be okay, but the reason I bit your tail off is because you stole my mango.”

06/04/21 14:29:21

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 15597Stephen Bean

"It's ok, I know what the organ grinder did."

06/04/21 12:43:49

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 15597Stephen Bean

PMT of the Apes

06/04/21 12:25:28

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2534Willie Johnson

"Do you know Jesus?"

06/04/21 12:20:36

 
Tony S Vote score: 1399Tony S

Its ok lockdown will soon be over the zoo will reopen and we can go back in our cage.

06/04/21 12:18:43

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14011Dave Bryan

''I feel ill.''

''Have you been reading monkey captions again?''

06/04/21 12:08:20

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11705Neil Mackenzie

Don’t worry I know you’ve never seen a door mirror before, but sooner or later the boxes on wheels will return.

06/04/21 21:06:09

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7795Glyn Evans

"When you get into the ring, remember he's fast on his feet so no monkey business"

06/04/21 20:13:06

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23986Michael Winner

"There'll come a time in the future when I shan't mind about this anymore, when I can look back and say quite peacefully and cheerfully how silly I was. No, no, I don't want that time to come ever. I want to remember every minute, always, always to the end of my days. And then throw my poo at that kid in the blue T shirt."

06/04/21 17:45:41

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5407Kenny Ireland

"...but lots of animals have sticky-out ears".

06/04/21 15:56:06

 
Lady Scotland Lady Scotland

Never mind,Elma, there's Plenty More Monkeys in the Forest....

06/04/21 13:54:34

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3448Stephen Paterson

'sigh' listen dude, just quit it with the bloody Gangnam Style!

06/04/21 12:48:19

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 15597Stephen Bean

"We tried our best but couldn't rhesuscitate him."

06/04/21 12:34:21

 
Tony S Vote score: 1399Tony S

Such a sporting gesture as the winner commiserates with the runner up in the Sooty look alike contest.

06/04/21 12:34:06

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2534Willie Johnson

"I'm sorry that I can't move my left hand. It's stuck to your shoulder. I think that guy said it was soup or goo. He said it was always funny. I'll show him funny as soon as I can get free."

06/04/21 12:31:13

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14728Vanessa the Guesser

"I feel a bit of a nit "

06/04/21 12:21:20

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24472Ian Skelding

"Don't worry, I'm sure someone will come up with it, it's just that the nit picking pun has been done so many times."

06/04/21 12:14:37

 
James Lennox Vote score: 8058James Lennox

Monkey see, monkey try to do.

06/04/21 12:12:55

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21440John Glover

" Darling, It's just called Doggy Fashion, it doesn't mean you have to bark during intercourse."

06/04/21 12:09:15

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1103alexandra ball

Too much monkey business.

06/04/21 12:09:02

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11447Mr Dome

But you said you'd love a golden shower

06/04/21 12:08:52

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7931Hercules Rockefeller

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be so ticked off with you earlier."

06/04/21 12:06:16

 
Al Overy Vote score: 4774Al Overy

"I'm afraid it's true. Once you hit puberty, you're going to get a gigantic blue arse."

06/04/21 12:06:15

 
Al Overy Vote score: 4774Al Overy

"I know. The park's been shut for so long, you've almost forgotten how to fling sh*t at people. I'm exactly the same!"

06/04/21 12:03:07

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20292Troompa Loompa

Flea G Tips

06/04/21 12:00:47

 
Nina Dutton Vote score: 57Nina Dutton

"I told you to never make eye contact when eating your banana."

06/04/21 12:00:22

 2
ok Nina, just read thru your list, loads of great ones, a couple which didn't do anything for me, like the rabbit in the pot pair. for that photo, I didn't feel inspired, so I didn't write any captions. If a pic doesn't inspire a caption that ... --SnapDragon D
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24472Ian Skelding

"It's OK mate, it's not jaundice, it's our natural colour."

06/04/21 12:00:12

 
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