only show captions that have finished voting
show this month's prize shortlist

Click a photo to add a caption.

captions

Dan Dan

lol

"Dad, why does that balloon in your wallet taste like Strawberries?"

25/08/13 8:00:10

Gordon Bannerman

lol x3

"Yeah, when we filmed Animal Hospital that Rolf character touched me here ... and other places"

08/08/13 21:15:56

August's caption of the month, posted to the official caption.me Facebook page. Congrats! --Chris Beach

Glyn Evans

creative

"The milky bras are on me."

05/07/13 12:05:39

Tosser Wivlov

lol

creative

....place casserole in oven, stand on top shelf.

02/05/13 10:03:09

Helen Llamas

Dentistree.

05/04/13 8:10:10

:o can't believe i opted against using this one :( --Ross Davidson

Ian Mclaren

creative x3

Ani-mating.

20/03/13 13:19:15

"see 12:13:43 and 12:47:38" Aw c'mon, thats very nit picky? ani-mating is a play on shagging, the other two don't make the 'mate' part of animate meaning anything other than it's original meaning. --Spud Gunn

F Mackay

Queue Gardens.

08/02/13 20:09:45

@anon, you might want to consider putting in 'Designed by Parkability Brown' as a caption :) --Michael Winner

F Mackay

lol

creative x2

“That looks perfect Neil. We’ll come back tonight and film it with the spacesuit on.”

20/01/13 20:35:06

Cath Jones

lol x3

Even at her age, Emily has no problem with her Joints.

11/01/13 20:00:08

Cath Jones

lol

creative

It is often found in Fairies Rings.

05/01/13 12:00:40

F Mackay

"This house is possessed by the Breville."

10/11/12 8:34:41

crm

.....but you didn't turn up til 9!"

27/10/12 12:02:23

Pete

Investigators were fairly confident that they had found the John Denver crash site.

27/09/12 20:00:27

Tony Busby

Soaprano

17/09/12 20:02:08

Ken Stapleton

He still hasn't stirred

15/09/12 8:23:55

Neil Mackenzie

Are you a member of the AA Sir.
Yes but I missed my session today.

10/07/12 20:08:08

Ken Stapleton

"Glove is in the air"

24/06/12 11:16:50

Joe T

For the love of God Victoria, please eat something.

08/06/12 20:06:33

Rob Falconer

For the furnishings, we went to BIKEA

05/05/12 20:03:09

Suzanne Brooks

Dave never liked fast food.

16/04/12 11:00:46

Pablo Cabello

£50
WINNER

Lust in Translation.

27/01/12 11:22:25

Lee Hauxwell

£50
WINNER

The first passenger flight of Derry Air

15/08/11 11:12:49

Glyn Evans

clever

The tortoise and the hair.

24/02/19 12:28:25

Chris Keegan

"Borrow the car? Oh Philip, you do make one laugh sometimes"

16/02/19 12:00:07

09/02/19 8:08:34

08/12/18 8:59:38

Fancy going for a spin?

06/12/18 20:00:46

Tina Flowers

clever x3

'I'm the bus in-spectre'.

31/10/18 20:17:56

Karyn Harrison

Drum kit

21/10/18 12:00:14

Charles Gleason

"Have you any idea how many people have been looking for you ?"

10/09/18 8:01:18

13/08/18 12:00:24

£50
WINNER

18/07/18 0:32:15

Woof! Wasn't expecting that. Nice one Folks! --Stephen Paterson

28/06/18 8:15:55

21/06/18 20:33:04

17/06/18 9:35:49

16/06/18 20:02:37

The Invisible Man gets a right good kicking.

12/06/18 20:00:13

Vivvy En

clever x4

Dave, a budding photographer, really hoped the bird would fly off so he could take a better shot

11/06/18 20:39:08

Took me a while, just twigged it.Great caption. --John Glover

C CaMel

clever

"I can hardly walk in these eels!"

01/06/18 8:09:09

Ian Skelding

"Bloody hell Jim, now you put the toilet seat down."

05/11/17 12:01:38

Welsh Rarebit

clever x2

Slumdog pillion heirs

22/08/17 20:04:13

Ian Skelding

"He needs a clip around the ears."

16/02/17 20:01:30

Curiously, our local barber shop is actually called a Clip Around The Ears. --Pussy Galore

John Glover

clever x3

"Yes, I am an architect, but I compile crossword puzzles on the side."

06/02/17 12:18:16

Pussy Galore

clever

How many times do I have to tell the kids not to accept lifts from strangers?

15/01/17 12:03:17

Thanks for the votes everyone, this is my highest-scoring caption to date. :) --Pussy Galore

Tony Edwards

clever x4

Best Man's Friend

05/12/16 20:12:16

Great caption Tony --Andrea Hickling

Glyn Evans

clever x2

"I don't know how I got burnt, I've had my sun screen on all day."

11/11/16 20:08:44

hahaha, took me some time.'sun screen' --sandeep chahal

Tony Edwards

lol x2

"That reminds me, we must get the voltage adjusted on that electric fence."

17/10/16 20:31:44

Come fry with me... --Pussy Galore

Smuldo

clever x3

Igor's hopes of a medal were now in Limbo.

18/08/16 20:09:46

The impressive collection from Arkwright's till.

29/06/16 15:13:21

Mark England

"All I did was order a pint of cider"

02/04/16 20:05:57

Ron Allan

creative

clever

It's obviously not ground coffee

05/02/16 16:31:02

The down votes showing here appear to be the result of a bug I introduced with my recent changes to the voting code. I'll look into this ASAP. --Chris Beach

John Glover

lol x2

"Shit, so what did we have put down?"

25/01/16 21:58:26

Ian Skelding

lol

"Sonja, for chrissakes, pull the cord."

25/01/16 8:04:44

Without your brilliant buildup, this caption would have fallen flat. (No pun intended.) Nice job!!! --Greg Curtis

Zac Kramer

Sworded affair

23/11/15 20:07:37

John Llamas

"I reared him myself."

14/10/15 20:10:32

12/10/15 16:30:15

Honey, have you checked on the twins?

06/10/15 9:41:27

John Llamas

lol

creative

We didn't always have hair dryers

23/09/15 12:15:06

Michael Winner

lol x2

creative

Eventually they tried other projectiles, but by then the name had stuck: 'catapult'.

20/07/15 8:04:20

02/02/15 8:11:39

"Paul, you're going out with me now - why does your X have to go everywhere with us?"

09/12/14 20:10:51

Maybe it's a sign of things to come --Ben Samuel

20/11/14 8:00:08

Deers looking at you kid.

21/10/14 12:53:38

Keep looking back at your caption. I love the captions that make me think "SO-OBVIOUS-but-I-never-would-have-thought-of-that-in-a-million-years." .....Nice job! --Greg Curtis

Zac Kramer

lol x2

Reading from top to bottom down the side of the coins...
someone has subtly managed to get a very rude word onto caption.me...
Dirty fluckr!

07/10/14 21:53:27

I think your right on the money there. --Chris Moorhead

Steve does not look too happy but he will soon be chuffed to bits.

27/08/14 6:38:03

AXE

"Damn! I've completely missed the Finnish line"

14/08/14 20:00:04

Ian Skelding

lol

There's always one practical joker outside a Mosque.

11/08/14 8:08:55

Bless my sole. --John Glover

Tony Edwards

creative x2

Paul Daniels looks lost without Debbie McGee.

03/08/14 8:32:52

What did Paul Daniels say when three thousand blue whales ejaculated in his mouth? Not a lot. --Michael Monkhouse

Doh Nutter

lol x2

"Do you know the Barber of Seville?...Well bloody well go and see him then."

22/07/14 8:56:53

Funny and clever. --Michael Monkhouse

Ross Davidson

Laughing stock.

17/07/14 12:38:50

I posted one about palmed laughter that didn't quite work, but I'm kicking myself for not getting this. Very apt and succinct. :) --Chris Moorhead

Michael Winner

creative

In an Espace, no one can hear you scream.

23/06/14 8:04:48

13/06/14 13:28:16

Love it, one of those 'I wish I'd thought of that one' moments. --John Glover

Cath Jones

lol

creative

"Ass to la vista, Baby!"

29/04/14 20:06:34

Cheers Ian. I get it now. I've had a long day :) --Mark England

Ian Skelding

"Ground control to Ginger Tom"

14/04/14 20:08:28

Ginger Tom perhaps? Would get my vote:) --Zac Kramer

26/03/14 12:58:08

17/03/14 9:23:37

"I said "She needs a new collar", you prat".

28/02/14 12:18:07

Tony Edwards

lol

"If this doesn't give me an orgasm, nothing will."

28/12/13 13:41:48

Tosser Wivlov

lol x2

We only wear them for special equations.

10/11/13 20:36:45

Undoubtedly Caption of the Week if ever there was one- fantastic! --Michael Winner

Ian Skelding

lol

"Not much longer now sweetheart, you're nearly dry."

08/08/13 9:01:23

Nice caption. A true laugh... --HillHermit Studios

Smuldo

A Penis Flytrap.

21/03/13 8:01:28

"There must be easier ways to catch flies" You could fall asleep with your mouth open, then snap it shut when your salt receptors fire. --Spud Gunn

Cath Jones

lol

Rex marks the Plot.

15/02/13 12:00:46

over my dead body ! --Spud Gunn

09/02/13 8:56:47

The early version of Deal or No Deal

16/01/13 9:47:12

13/01/13 10:09:51

Teaching an Ostrich to ride a motorbike was always going to prove difficult

04/01/13 12:17:10

03/01/13 12:39:54

The offical photographs of Guantanamo Bay don't fool anyone.

03/01/13 12:12:23

phil mcavity

'Next time I'm having a caesarian.'

05/09/12 12:54:25

F Mackay

Jack was beginning to doubt that the best way to travel around London was by Tube.

01/09/12 8:25:29

Steve Hann

It's just a figure of speech.

17/07/12 20:07:56

Joe T

For safety of other drivers I think we should put a few cones out.

12/07/12 11:18:32

Tosser Wivlov

The mourning after the flight before.

10/07/12 12:22:22

Dave Devine

Britain was heading for meltdown

03/07/12 11:12:55

Tony Edwards

Booked for driving without a Creche Helmet.

14/06/12 11:02:45

Walter White

"No your Holiness, I said show them your cross"

13/06/12 11:16:16

Antony Ward

Guns and Rosaries

13/06/12 11:09:12

F Mackay

Furniture Swearhouse.

28/05/12 20:00:34

Cath Jones

"Jim, have you got rid of that slag yet?"

22/05/12 20:23:53

11/05/12 11:34:57

30/04/12 20:16:40

�I�ve met his wife and sister. A lovely woman.�

25/04/12 11:07:27

Ethelia Fotherington-Smythe

Have you seen the new Eddie Murphy trailer?

04/04/12 11:00:08

F Mackay

Schindler's Lift.

01/04/12 20:05:39

Bob Geddon

How much is that doggie in the Windows?

11/11/11 11:07:51

Shouldn't that be Windows? --Rob Falconer

02/11/11 11:03:46

26/08/11 11:29:46

18/03/19 8:00:04

Forgive me father for I have strimmed

09/03/19 8:04:07

James Lennox

lol

creative

It was a beautiful wedding, but the honeymoon in France didn't end well.

01/03/19 20:13:39

Kenny Ireland

"...and he still couldn't find my G-spot".

28/02/19 10:05:00

John Llamas

“.... see Dave, I told you this car was a ‘pussy magnet’. ...”

11/01/19 12:39:44

06/01/19 16:11:04

It's not you but i really can't see this being a long term relationship

16/12/18 8:21:28

Welsh Rarebit

For Sale: British Bulldog, in mint condition.

28/11/18 8:00:14

stone face

creative x2

clever x2

You know it's a heatwave when the diving board melts.

22/11/18 13:25:11

Dave Bryan

lol

''Don't mention the War-burtons.''

08/10/18 21:26:05

Took me a while .... but a vote worthy fun caption. --John Glover

03/10/18 8:00:30

02/10/18 12:02:17

♫ A neigh in the manger ...

27/09/18 20:19:40

20/09/18 20:00:28

05/09/18 20:00:08

One of my rasher purchases

01/09/18 8:23:17

Vivvy En

Clearly they have some very bright pupils

30/08/18 20:25:06

John Llamas

clever

Auditions for Madame Butterfly were earlier than expected .........

29/08/18 8:16:55

Ian Skelding

clever x2

Not the first time Julia had pants around her head.

21/07/18 8:35:09

Took me ages to get this one. Very good caption 😂 --Ethy

14/06/18 12:00:17

I'm waiting for magazine delivery

26/05/18 20:11:53

Careful, it could be Loaded. --Glad You Remember

13/05/18 20:09:48

It's a studio apartment.

26/04/18 8:00:11

Mark England

creative

Rice wine made with fox? Those Japanese will eat anything!

22/03/18 12:09:42

07/02/18 15:38:41

"You offer three camels to sleep with me, not only is that insulting, I don't even bloody smoke."

22/11/17 11:15:26

And an animal used to barter with (allegedly) in the middle east etc. Just thought i’d explain in case Anon didn’t know that --Mr Dome

Jonathan Allsopp

Moira had decided to put all her marital problems on the back burner.

06/11/17 8:18:28

Leroy Brown

"We're gonna need more chalk, Sarge"

24/10/17 12:21:13

Jonathan Allsopp

clever x4

You don't see this on the continent.

15/10/17 12:44:22

It seems to be holding its own --Mr Dome

Michael Winner

lol

Her thighs follow you around the room.

12/10/17 20:18:45

Dan Nicholls

clever

Today's stars: Capricorn will be faced with an uphill struggle.

17/01/17 8:08:09

Please let me give you a (be) xxx --Andrea Hickling

Troompa Loompa

clever

Jack and the beans talk.

15/01/17 21:06:30

Very good caption - enjoyed this one! --Dan Nicholls

Dan Nicholls

That's the thing about the festive season, it does dragon a bit.

14/01/17 20:03:37

Glyn Evans

clever

"It's not you, it's me. I need space."

23/10/16 12:16:15

C CaMel

Shortly after she started going downhill fast

17/10/16 13:50:48

What a refreshing moment....A captioneer That votes as well as submitting captions, is topping the top ten xxx You get my vote for fair play xxxx --Andrea Hickling

Pussy Galore