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Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Who ate all the flies?

15/08/14 9:44:18

 
Tracy Davidson Vote score: 9777Tracy Davidson

The Pristine Chapel.

02/07/14 8:00:20

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7800Leroy Brown

Just done it..... In your new shoes!

24/06/14 20:00:57

 
matt cunningham Vote score: 393matt cunningham

Tiddly wink

16/03/14 9:37:01

 
Brian  Malco Vote score: 2445Brian Malco

"I told you we should've used heavier barrels to store the helium - go get the step ladders..."

05/03/14 20:09:07

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24881Michael Winner

"Nigella! Have you been on the coke again?"

15/12/13 8:30:56

 1
Now we know who's really behind the exhibits in Charles Saatchi's gallery. Damien Hurst? Tracy Emin? Neither can match the creativity of Nigella on coke. --Mark England
Mark England Vote score: 18689Mark England

Cuepid

27/08/13 20:01:41

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8512Hercules Rockefeller

Del Monte Python

27/03/13 12:00:30

 2
The Full Monty Python? --Cath Jones
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34317Tony Edwards

Trophy wife.

17/01/13 8:02:46

 
Dan Dan Vote score: 5606Dan Dan

£100
WINNER

"You got a light?"..."I am the light Baby."

11/11/12 20:03:59

 17
Thank you for your kind comments and pm's. It's a privilege just to be part of such a fantastic site and group of people, and like it's been said before, this is the icing on the cake. --Dan Dan
John Llamas Vote score: 20078John Llamas

Ales of the Unexpected

18/09/12 8:17:42

 
Ken Stapleton Vote score: 1589Ken Stapleton

Swindler's Lift    

14/08/12 8:00:16

 1
John Llamas Vote score: 20078John Llamas

Water Raleigh and Francis Drake

11/08/12 11:01:06

 7
Michael Winner Vote score: 24881Michael Winner

"Young man, about these airbags you fitted for me..."

13/07/12 20:00:06

 1
Ethelia Fotherington-Smythe Vote score: 2362Ethelia Fotherington-Smythe

Stool pigeon

02/07/12 20:00:17

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

"Does it come Whitbread?"

25/06/12 20:00:36

 
Mr. Toad Vote score: 1738Mr. Toad

“I best be off- the wife’ll be having kittens.”

28/10/11 20:02:31

 
Grant Amey Vote score: 433Grant Amey

£50
WINNER

Andrex puppies just don't make good police dogs

30/09/11 11:29:19

 12
Vivvy En Vote score: 8078Vivvy En

£50
WINNER

  The other side reads: Emergency phone - 2km Ahead

31/05/21 12:46:42

 22
Big thanks to Chris and also for the kind words from my fellow caption addicts. I just love being a part of this crazy creative community :) --Vivvy En
John Beith Vote score: 260John Beith

The guard of honour was great, but the flypast was disappointing.

28/05/21 8:15:40

 2
Some said it went swimmingly. --Willie Johnson
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15705Dave Bryan

''Darling, we need to re-seed the lawn. That bear patch looks terrible.''

20/05/21 8:01:33

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6078Karyn Harrison

Dave was delighted to discover he had seven new followers.

10/05/21 8:15:04

 2
I laughed my arse off when I read your post Willie. It's good that it's there...just in case.  --Glyn Evans
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

You know you're desperate for a shag when you're willing to rip the roof off your house to make a sign.

04/05/21 20:14:26

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7385C CaMel

£50
WINNER

  “He was castaway on a remote island for years, his best mate is a volleyball, maybe we should’ve put him on light duties for a bit?"

28/04/21 20:37:01

 23
Congrats, C CaMel! Order something nice for yourself online! But, maybe don't use FedEx for the shipping....:^)-Crunchy --Crunchy Chords
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34317Tony Edwards

Racing from Redcar

19/04/21 12:46:24

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8512Hercules Rockefeller

"Curiosity does sound like an odd name for a goldfish."

17/04/21 12:05:16

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5344Lucky Elperro

Second base camp.

21/03/21 20:53:09

 3
Where's fourth base camp? In the valley? --Mr Dome
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

"JANET, JUST LEAVE IT, WE'LL BUY ANOTHER LILO"

23/11/20 20:01:37

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 17862Stephen Bean

"You're doing well on your first shift kid. Hold your arms a bit wider, this next one's really big."

01/11/20 8:03:12

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15705Dave Bryan

''Let me come with you, Johnny. Don't leave me here alone. I won't be a nuisance. Please, I'm begging you. Listen to me, I'll die if you go.''

''For Christ's sake, Martha, I'm only putting the bins out.''

16/08/20 20:49:00

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

"I can't believe you're doing this to me. This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life"

"Sorry babe but you know Thursday is mud wrestling day for me and Dave. I'll be back in time for the first dance"

23/07/20 12:24:05

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

A A Route Planner

01/07/20 20:00:20

 1
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21481Troompa Loompa

£50
WINNER

For when you need to answer the call of nature.

27/06/20 12:00:12

 17
Many thanks everyone for your kind words and apologies to Rachel P and the others I sneaked ahead of at the last minute. 😊 --Troompa Loompa
Paul Woolley Vote score: 3354Paul Woolley

"...and all those in favour of reducing the tax on lettuce?"

29/04/20 20:23:09

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

Lucy went to extreme lengths to protect herself from the Coronavirus. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten that opening an umbrella indoors was unlucky and she was run over by a bus on the way home.

28/03/20 20:10:40

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15705Dave Bryan

''How are you going to cure me?''

''Just Like That!''

26/02/20 12:03:06

 10
I had a teacher who used to set his alarm for 3am so he could get up and have a ciggy... --James Lennox
James Lennox Vote score: 8912James Lennox

Javelins should only be thrown outdoors.

03/02/20 12:00:41

 1
The good news is she was standing just past the world record distance. --Willie Johnson
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 15602Vanessa the Guesser

This lamb's a bit tough.

19/01/20 13:30:10

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6078Karyn Harrison

Looks like Mike's got rid of his old satellite dish and gone digital!

26/08/19 20:01:47

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21481Troompa Loompa

Broke Bike Mountain

10/07/19 20:00:10

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 5326Stu Dent

There you go love now let mommy have a piss in peace

02/07/19 8:40:47

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21481Troompa Loompa

Unfortunately the family were separated when Tom was posted overseas.

30/06/19 20:30:03

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21481Troompa Loompa

£50
WINNER

"Thanks for the prize, now open the till and put all the cash into this bag."

28/06/19 8:31:55

 17
Thanks for all you kind words everyone.Thanks for the prize Chris, now open the drawer and put all the guns into this bag. :D --Troompa Loompa
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2598Trace Sarge

Four Funerals and a Wedding

20/06/19 12:07:27

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

"I'm sorry for yawning but I find your company really boring"

12/06/19 12:25:47

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

Filming has begun for the highly anticipated new period drama

05/06/19 8:10:30

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 121Anthony Smith

One Knight stand!

12/05/19 9:36:14

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Lord of the Rings

05/05/19 8:00:39

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10359Chris Keegan

When I suddenly saw this in the road I had to break fast.

05/03/19 8:00:15

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10359Chris Keegan

"I'll have the table cloth please"

10/02/19 9:57:28

 2
This was a tough pic. Well done. --James Lennox
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 874Spycenwolf

He suddenly understood the gravity of the situation.

24/01/19 20:12:55

 1
And after he'd eaten him he became one of Newton's Cores. --Karyn Harrison
Stu Dent Vote score: 5326Stu Dent

Turn the other cheek

22/01/19 8:00:08

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15705Dave Bryan

''Don't worry, his Bach is worse than his bite.''

17/12/18 8:00:36

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10359Chris Keegan

No wonder it's tired, it came in at twenty to one.

16/12/18 12:00:20

 1
I find it odd. --Scrappy Doo
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15705Dave Bryan

£50
WINNER

''If you buy ten packs, we'll throw in the towel.''

08/11/18 20:16:31

 14
Many thanks for the kind comments. Looking at the quality of the previous winners, I'm delighted to now be one of them.The dosh will also come in useful. Next time my wife says ''Are you wasting your time doing those stupid captions again... --Dave Bryan
Mark England Vote score: 18689Mark England

Police arrange an identity parade for a woman who claims that she was being watched through a keyhole of a swimming pool changing room

22/10/18 20:44:22

 
Charles Gleason Vote score: 834Charles Gleason

"Let's go home Mary. Ten years camping out here and still no sign of the monster."

26/09/18 8:10:46

 
Charles Gleason Vote score: 834Charles Gleason

The Lion Cling.

15/09/18 8:02:14

 3
I hadn't thought of that.It Disney really matter to me.Thanks for the input. --Charles Gleason
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34317Tony Edwards

Forrest Dump

02/09/18 8:22:17

 1
Definitely not a case of the runs, Forrest, runs. --Glad You Remember
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6078Karyn Harrison

Gnashtray

26/08/18 20:00:24

 
stone face Vote score: 9850stone face

" I told you before we got on the plane, to just give him the fuckin bread."

05/08/18 9:40:54

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12078Mr Dome

The Grateful Dead

23/07/18 12:45:34

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15834Dan Nicholls

It's a sign of desperation

06/06/18 8:09:42

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

For clumsy clots

12/05/18 20:00:07

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10359Chris Keegan

Stand up comic

15/04/18 20:04:11

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21830John Glover

"Shit, I've left all my groceries at the school gate."

01/03/18 12:46:32

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

£50
WINNER

"Don't move, love...the reception is perfect now."

16/12/17 14:52:25

 9
Congratulations Pete! I love your quirky sense of humour. :)  --Pussy Galore
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3464Stephen Paterson

Brian was incredibly nervous about his upcoming appearance on Mastermind.

30/09/17 12:15:44

 2
It brings a new meaning to the phrase "I've started so I'll finish"! --Paul Woolley
C CaMel Vote score: 7385C CaMel

£50
WINNER

"Attention, this vehicle is versing!"

22/09/17 20:24:42

 15
Hi All, totally chuffed to be picked! Thank you to Chris for a brilliant site and to all fellow captioneers for the hilarious captions which keep me coming back for more!  --C CaMel
Mark England Vote score: 18689Mark England

It's situated in a close knit community

15/02/17 20:06:24

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24881Michael Winner

Before the invention of video games, we had to play the analogue version of Space Invaders.

18/01/17 13:36:29

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7385C CaMel

'I'll have the salad, I've been eating shit lately'

22/10/16 20:04:29

 1
lol man --sandeep chahal
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5966Tosser Wivlov

I think she's about to toe it away.

09/04/16 12:33:31

 1
Very funny. --Pete
Tracy Davidson Vote score: 9777Tracy Davidson

"For the last time, will you stop playing those bloody drums!"

31/03/16 15:07:53

 
Cath Jones Vote score: 38790Cath Jones

Captioneer in Cumbria is determined not to miss the 12 o'clock photo.

08/12/15 12:00:59

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3464Stephen Paterson

Indognito.

12/09/15 9:01:42

 
Tracy Davidson Vote score: 9777Tracy Davidson

Pupcakes

11/09/15 20:00:09

 5
It's a fantastic caption. I'm just unhappy that I didn't think of it (self-flagellation with a thorny branch now begins..) --AXE
Cath Jones Vote score: 38790Cath Jones

Alcohol de-pendant

26/08/15 20:11:16

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21830John Glover

"Why can't we be smuggled into Britain just like the others, in the back of a truck?"

28/07/15 21:46:14

 1
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34317Tony Edwards

Grasper Carrot

27/07/15 8:01:25

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15834Dan Nicholls

Can't come out tonight I'm washing my hare.

26/07/15 8:00:23

 
Zac Kramer Vote score: 10993Zac Kramer

Just what I need to play my Hip-Op records

16/07/15 12:00:35

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24881Michael Winner

They have taken the holy vowels.

09/03/15 12:01:50

 
Ian Searle Vote score: 2409Ian Searle

" AND I'M TELLIN' YOU... GRADED GRAINS MAKE FINER FLOUR!!!!!"

26/02/15 8:54:38

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8268Glyn Evans

Dread Man Walking.

29/10/14 9:04:37

 
Ian Searle Vote score: 2409Ian Searle

Moon River by Henry Mankini

23/10/14 9:02:51

 
Boycie Vote score: 6700Boycie

# Our kestrel manoevered in the park.

22/09/14 8:30:08

 
AXE Vote score: 3690AXE

"I took de wheel off 'cause de brakes were Jamming, were Jamming..."

17/09/14 20:03:59

 
Ian Mclaren Vote score: 3524Ian Mclaren

All those who want to learn how to swim put your hands up.

17/08/14 20:04:37

 
Ron  Allan Vote score: 5548Ron Allan

Yes, it really took it's toll on his legs, but Warwick found his passenger numbers increased twenty fold when he attached the larger sidecar.

10/08/14 9:19:28

 1
died laughing --sandeep chahal
Cath Jones Vote score: 38790Cath Jones

🎵 "I'm a little teapot, short and kraut..."

05/08/14 20:00:06

 
Doh Nutter Vote score: 21481Doh Nutter

The Wife of Pi

20/06/14 13:02:51

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24881Michael Winner

In-turd.

06/05/14 20:24:46

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24881Michael Winner

"Hello, Abbey Taxis? I saw your advert and I'd like to apply for the job"¦"

02/05/14 8:00:07

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25533Ian Skelding

2B or not 2B

20/02/14 12:00:13

 1
In 3D --John Glover
Mr Blonde Vote score: 21481Mr Blonde

New Star Wars film criticised for containing excessive violins.

19/09/13 12:40:39

 
Dan Dan Vote score: 5606Dan Dan

"Dad, why does that balloon in your wallet taste like Strawberries?"

25/08/13 8:00:10

 
Gordon Bannerman Vote score: 4691Gordon Bannerman

"Yeah, when we filmed Animal Hospital that Rolf character touched me here ... and other places"

08/08/13 21:15:56

 2
August's caption of the month, posted to the official caption.me Facebook page. Congrats! --Chris Beach
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8268Glyn Evans

"The milky bras are on me."

05/07/13 12:05:39

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5966Tosser Wivlov

....place casserole in oven, stand on top shelf.

02/05/13 10:03:09

 
Helen Llamas Vote score: 933Helen Llamas

Dentistree.

05/04/13 8:10:10

 1
:o can't believe i opted against using this one :( --Ross Davidson
Ian Mclaren Vote score: 3524Ian Mclaren

Ani-mating.

20/03/13 13:19:15

 3
"see 12:13:43 and 12:47:38" Aw c'mon, thats very nit picky? ani-mating is a play on shagging, the other two don't make the 'mate' part of animate meaning anything other than it's original meaning.  --Spud Gunn
F Mackay Vote score: 21481F Mackay

Queue Gardens.

08/02/13 20:09:45

 2
@anon, you might want to consider putting in 'Designed by Parkability Brown' as a caption :) --Michael Winner
F Mackay Vote score: 21481F Mackay

"That looks perfect Neil. We'll come back tonight and film it with the spacesuit on."

20/01/13 20:35:06

 1
Cath Jones Vote score: 38790Cath Jones

Even at her age, Emily has no problem with her Joints.

11/01/13 20:00:08

 
Cath Jones Vote score: 38790Cath Jones

It is often found in Fairies Rings.

05/01/13 12:00:40

 
F Mackay Vote score: 21481F Mackay

"This house is possessed by the Breville."

10/11/12 8:34:41

 
crm Vote score: 294crm

.....but you didn't turn up til 9!"

27/10/12 12:02:23

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Investigators were fairly confident that they had found the John Denver crash site.

27/09/12 20:00:27

 3
Tony Busby Vote score: 2069Tony Busby

Soaprano

17/09/12 20:02:08

 
Ken Stapleton Vote score: 1589Ken Stapleton

He still hasn't stirred

15/09/12 8:23:55

 1
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11998Neil Mackenzie

Are you a member of the AA Sir.
Yes but I missed my session today.

10/07/12 20:08:08

 2
Ken Stapleton Vote score: 1589Ken Stapleton

"Glove is in the air"

24/06/12 11:16:50

 
Joe T Vote score: 3133Joe T

For the love of God Victoria, please eat something.

08/06/12 20:06:33

 
Rob Falconer Vote score: 3359Rob Falconer

For the furnishings, we went to BIKEA

05/05/12 20:03:09

 1
Suzanne Brooks Vote score: 729Suzanne Brooks

Dave never liked fast food.

16/04/12 11:00:46

 1
Pablo Cabello Vote score: 3393Pablo Cabello

£50
WINNER

Lust in Translation.

27/01/12 11:22:25

 11
Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 2995Lee Hauxwell

£50
WINNER

The first passenger flight of Derry Air

15/08/11 11:12:49

 14
Stephen Bean Vote score: 17862Stephen Bean

The disappearance of Flight 737 remains a puzzle.

12/07/21 12:03:54

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6758Al Overy

Sally began to regret buying the special 'Yorkshire Edition' Scrabble.

07/07/21 20:01:00

 1
Let by gums be by gums  --Glyn Evans
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

"...and then Barbie said, 'Ken, I'm sick of you, go f*ck yourself'. So I nipped down to Toys R Us, picked you up and here we are"

27/06/21 20:29:49

 1
Al Overy Vote score: 6758Al Overy

"Well, it worked with the goldfish..."

23/06/21 8:02:18

 
Mark England Vote score: 18689Mark England

Even mutes can get Tourettes

18/05/21 12:17:50

 1
Do sailors say clean things when they get Tourette's? --Willie Johnson
Tony S Vote score: 2763Tony S

"Before we can dig you out Mrs Jones can you let go of your dog's lead."

11/05/21 8:08:43

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25533Ian Skelding

"You bloody missed her, I thought you said you were a professional assassin."

29/04/21 12:06:30

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25533Ian Skelding

Romancing the Stone

20/04/21 8:04:13

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8512Hercules Rockefeller

"You're home early."

28/03/21 12:01:21

 2
Hercules. Missed the vote on your caption. Can safely say it’s one of the funniest captions, and now one of favourites. I’m still chuckling now! Xxxx 🤣😂😆 --Karen Oakenfull
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15705Dave Bryan

''I can't see Newcastle avoiding relegation, Gary. They're just too exposed at the back.''

26/03/21 8:33:21

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6758Al Overy

'Prince Charles said what?'

10/03/21 8:03:42

 
stone face Vote score: 9850stone face

"There's a sign outside 'Free fruit for children'.
Well here's the child, I'll have some apples and bananas."

03/03/21 12:15:50

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6758Al Overy

"Hello, is that Chris Beach? Listen, I won the January Caption competition bigly and everyone knows it! SO FIND MY MISSING VOTES!!!"

16/02/21 8:00:07

 3
"Listen, all I need you to do is find me 25 more votes, or I won't like you as much. Stop the steal." Signed, anon voter --Willie Johnson
Al Overy Vote score: 6758Al Overy

I'd been applying for jobs for months, sent thousands of CVs and been rejected on countless occasions. Eventually I lowered my expectations and, although the pay is really crap, I am proud to call myself Trainee Assistant Dung Beetle.

06/01/21 20:00:41

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6758Al Overy

£50
WINNER

Blind people: never walk near swamps with an inexperienced guide dog.

05/12/20 20:07:54

 16
... or an inexperienced bog guide.Well done Al. Great caption. --James Lennox
C CaMel Vote score: 7385C CaMel

"Sausage and egg McMuffin, no egg, and no muffin."

28/11/20 8:32:51

 1
This is similar to what I ask for but they don't seem to understand what I mean when I say "Can you hold the sausage?" --Karyn Harrison
James Lennox Vote score: 8912James Lennox

I have a strange urge to whack her with an oversize rubber mallet.

17/11/20 9:17:11

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5618Kenny Ireland

Sarah also had a chest freezer.

21/10/20 15:18:42

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25533Ian Skelding

Labradoodle

18/09/20 12:18:06

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24881Michael Winner

Top tip: when your pets die, have them stuffed and turned into croquet hoops.

13/08/20 12:01:10

 
James Lennox Vote score: 8912James Lennox

The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on.

31/07/20 8:09:57

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

The oX Files

04/06/20 20:11:10

 1
The truth is snout hair. :^) --Crunchy Chords
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15705Dave Bryan

''This is a station announcement for all those passengers wishing to commit suicide: The train due to be arriving on platform 1 will now be arriving on Platform 2.''

27/05/20 21:12:30

 2
Looks like there'll be no departures today. --Karyn Harrison
Mark England Vote score: 18689Mark England

Due to a bagpipe shortage, Luton's 'Scottish Exile Pipe Band' had to improvise

22/05/20 12:12:57

 1
But it was a bit of a Wee Crankie idea. --Woofer 6
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15705Dave Bryan

''I'm absolutely worn out, prowling round Essex all night trying to find a virgin.''

01/05/20 12:13:13

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12078Mr Dome

Hello madam. Allow me to push your stool in

04/04/20 9:41:59

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

"So, I'm just chilling in the garden, minding my own business and having a bit of a snooze, and then it happened. F*cking lawnmower. I know he's bored but the quicker that bastard goes back to work the better"

03/04/20 12:00:39

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

Being a first responder to a car accident on the Simpsons was a sobering experience"¦

02/04/20 12:00:09

 1
Looks like he's covered in Marge. --Karyn Harrison
Stu Dent Vote score: 5326Stu Dent

Message in a Brothel

29/01/20 20:18:23

 1
A sting operation resulted in a successful police raid. --Dave Bryan
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

Pepper pig

01/12/19 20:00:06

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

£50
WINNER

For your rise only

25/11/19 8:00:08

 15
Thanks everyone for the comments and votes. November has been a very lucky month, winning 5 times on the lottery (grand total of £67.60!) and now on caption.me! --Welsh Rarebit
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

Beef Wellingtons

16/09/19 20:00:05

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8078Vivvy En

£50
WINNER

"Why are you upset...? I said 'I'd give you a ring from Cartier'."

03/09/19 13:31:20

 17
Thanks to everyone for your kind comments and votes. I am reeling from the shock! To be in the captioners gallery is an accolade I truly never expected. I am honoured. A big thank you goes to Chris for providing this platform for us lovers of word... --Vivvy En
stone face Vote score: 9850stone face

"Must definitely go to Specsavers tomorrow." Joanne said to herself. As she wondered why the train was taking so long to leave the station.

31/08/19 8:14:50

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15705Dave Bryan

Early gurning centre

14/08/19 8:02:06

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21481Troompa Loompa

Stop Luke and listen.

10/08/19 20:35:10

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

Shopping Maul

08/08/19 20:44:45

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15834Dan Nicholls

I wouldn't put my arson that.

16/07/19 12:04:15

 
Mark England Vote score: 18689Mark England

"Good afternoon. Today, we are in Delhi, for the semi finals of the Extreme Jenga Championship.."

30/06/19 12:05:59

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7385C CaMel

Worth a shot

28/06/19 8:21:50

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 15602Vanessa the Guesser

"Well done, dear"

20/06/19 20:01:49

 1
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10359Chris Keegan

Cash test dummies

12/05/19 20:21:22

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

The Snuggly Duckling

03/05/19 8:00:09

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13228The Wolf

Goblet

24/04/19 12:51:55

 
Mr. Toad Vote score: 1738Mr. Toad

Stewards enquiry after tortoise lodges an official complaint

19/04/19 12:00:37

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8268Glyn Evans

The tortoise and the hair.

24/02/19 12:28:25

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10359Chris Keegan

"Borrow the car? Oh Philip, you do make one laugh sometimes"

16/02/19 12:00:07

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12078Mr Dome

Leading him a stray

09/02/19 8:08:34

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15834Dan Nicholls

Stig of the dump.

08/12/18 8:59:38

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6078Karyn Harrison

"Fancy going for a spin?"

06/12/18 20:00:46

 
Tina  Flowers Vote score: 663Tina Flowers

'I'm the bus in-spectre'.

31/10/18 20:17:56

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6078Karyn Harrison

Drum kit

21/10/18 12:00:14

 
Charles Gleason Vote score: 834Charles Gleason

"Have you any idea how many people have been looking for you ?"

10/09/18 8:01:18

 
ant knee Vote score: 1134ant knee

Gang, nan style

13/08/18 12:00:24

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3464Stephen Paterson

£50
WINNER

This week on When Dogs Look Like Their Owners:  Piers Morgan.

18/07/18 0:32:15

 15
Woof! Wasn't expecting that. Nice one Folks! --Stephen Paterson
Tiny Alien Vote score: 581Tiny Alien

Yoda Phone

28/06/18 8:15:55

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12078Mr Dome

Eaves-droppings

21/06/18 20:33:04

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5618Kenny Ireland

Fruit and nut.

17/06/18 9:35:49

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Message in a brothel

16/06/18 20:02:37

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25533Ian Skelding

The Invisible Man gets a right good kicking.

12/06/18 20:00:13

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8078Vivvy En

Dave, a budding photographer, really hoped the bird would fly off so he could take a better shot

11/06/18 20:39:08

 2
Took me a while, just twigged it.Great caption. --John Glover
C CaMel Vote score: 7385C CaMel

"I can hardly walk in these eels!"

01/06/18 8:09:09

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25533Ian Skelding

"Bloody hell Jim, now you put the toilet seat down."

05/11/17 12:01:38

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Slumdog pillion heirs

22/08/17 20:04:13

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25533Ian Skelding

"He needs a clip around the ears."

16/02/17 20:01:30

 1
Curiously, our local barber shop is actually called a Clip Around The Ears.  --Pussy Galore
John  Glover Vote score: 21830John Glover

"Yes, I am an architect, but I compile crossword puzzles on the side."

06/02/17 12:18:16

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

How many times do I have to tell the kids not to accept lifts from strangers?

15/01/17 12:03:17

 1
Thanks for the votes everyone, this is my highest-scoring caption to date. :)  --Pussy Galore
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34317Tony Edwards

Best Man's Friend

05/12/16 20:12:16

 3
Great caption Tony  --Andrea Hickling
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8268Glyn Evans

"I don't know how I got burnt, I've had my sun screen on all day."

11/11/16 20:08:44

 1
hahaha, took me some time.'sun screen' --sandeep chahal
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34317Tony Edwards

"That reminds me, we must get the voltage adjusted on that electric fence."

17/10/16 20:31:44

 2
Come fry with me... --Pussy Galore
Smuldo Vote score: 11740Smuldo

Igor's hopes of a medal were now in Limbo.

18/08/16 20:09:46

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

The impressive collection from Arkwright's till.

29/06/16 15:13:21

 
Mark England Vote score: 18689Mark England

"All I did was order a pint of cider"

02/04/16 20:05:57

 
Ron  Allan Vote score: 5548Ron Allan

It's obviously not ground coffee

05/02/16 16:31:02

 1
The down votes showing here appear to be the result of a bug I introduced with my recent changes to the voting code. I'll look into this ASAP.  --Chris Beach
John  Glover Vote score: 21830John Glover

"Shit, so what did we have put down?"

25/01/16 21:58:26

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25533Ian Skelding

"Sonja, for chrissakes, pull the cord."

25/01/16 8:04:44

 1
Without your brilliant buildup, this caption would have fallen flat. (No pun intended.) Nice job!!!  --Greg Curtis
Zac Kramer Vote score: 10993Zac Kramer

Sworded affair

23/11/15 20:07:37

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20078John Llamas

"I reared him myself."

14/10/15 20:10:32

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5344Lucky Elperro

Deaf version.

12/10/15 16:30:15

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5966Tosser Wivlov

Honey, have you checked on the twins?

06/10/15 9:41:27

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20078John Llamas

We didn't always have hair dryers

23/09/15 12:15:06

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24881Michael Winner

Eventually they tried other projectiles, but by then the name had stuck: 'catapult'.

20/07/15 8:04:20

 
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