Click a photo to add a caption.
captions
 Mark England |
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27/08/13 20:01:41 |
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 Hercules Rockefeller |
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27/03/13 12:00:30 |
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The Full Monty Python?
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Tony Edwards |
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17/01/13 8:02:46 |
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Dan Dan |
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£100 "You got a light?"..."I am the light Baby." 11/11/12 20:03:59 |
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Thank you for your kind comments and pm's. It's a privilege just to be part of such a fantastic site and group of people, and like it's been said before, this is the icing on the cake.
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John Llamas |
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18/09/12 8:17:42 |
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Ken Stapleton |
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14/08/12 8:00:16 |
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John Llamas |
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Water Raleigh and Francis Drake 11/08/12 11:01:06 |
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Michael Winner |
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"Young man, about these airbags you fitted for me..." 13/07/12 20:00:06 |
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Ethelia Fotherington-Smythe |
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02/07/12 20:00:17 |
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Pete |
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25/06/12 20:00:36 |
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Mr. Toad |
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“I best be off- the wife’ll be having kittens.” 28/10/11 20:02:31 |
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 Grant Amey |
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£50 Andrex puppies just don't make good police dogs 30/09/11 11:29:19 |
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Hercules Rockefeller |
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"Curiosity does sound like an odd name for a goldfish." Sat 12:05:16 |
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Lucky Elperro |
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21/03/21 20:53:09 |
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Where's fourth base camp? In the valley?
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The Wolf |
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"JANET, JUST LEAVE IT, WE'LL BUY ANOTHER LILO" 23/11/20 20:01:37 |
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Stephen Bean |
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"You're doing well on your first shift kid. Hold your arms a bit wider, this next one's really big." 01/11/20 8:03:12 |
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Dave Bryan |
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16/08/20 20:49:00 |
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The Wolf |
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23/07/20 12:24:05 |
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Rachel P |
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01/07/20 20:00:20 |
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Troompa Loompa |
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£50 For when you need to answer the call of nature. 27/06/20 12:00:12 |
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Many thanks everyone for your kind words and apologies to Rachel P and the others I sneaked ahead of at the last minute. 😊
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Paul Woolley |
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"...and all those in favour of reducing the tax on lettuce?" 29/04/20 20:23:09 |
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The Wolf |
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28/03/20 20:10:40 |
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Dave Bryan |
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''How are you going to cure me?'' 26/02/20 12:03:06 |
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I had a teacher who used to set his alarm for 3am so he could get up and have a ciggy...
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James Lennox |
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Javelins should only be thrown outdoors. 03/02/20 12:00:41 |
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The good news is she was standing just past the world record distance.
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Vanessa the Guesser |
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19/01/20 13:30:10 |
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Karyn Harrison |
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Looks like Mike's got rid of his old satellite dish and gone digital! 26/08/19 20:01:47 |
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Troompa Loompa |
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10/07/19 20:00:10 |
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Stu Dent |
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There you go love now let mommy have a piss in peace 02/07/19 8:40:47 |
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Troompa Loompa |
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Unfortunately the family were separated when Tom was posted overseas. 30/06/19 20:30:03 |
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Troompa Loompa |
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£50 "Thanks for the prize, now open the till and put all the cash into this bag." 28/06/19 8:31:55 |
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Thanks for all you kind words everyone.Thanks for the prize Chris, now open the drawer and put all the guns into this bag. :D
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Trace Sarge |
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20/06/19 12:07:27 |
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The Wolf |
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“I’m sorry for yawning but I find your company really boring†12/06/19 12:25:47 |
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The Wolf |
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Filming has begun for the highly anticipated new period drama 05/06/19 8:10:30 |
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Anthony Smith |
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12/05/19 9:36:14 |
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Welsh Rarebit |
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05/05/19 8:00:39 |
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Chris Keegan |
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When I suddenly saw this in the road I had to break fast. 05/03/19 8:00:15 |
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Chris Keegan |
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"I'll have the table cloth please" 10/02/19 9:57:28 |
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This was a tough pic. Well done.
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Spycenwolf |
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He suddenly understood the gravity of the situation. 24/01/19 20:12:55 |
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And after he'd eaten him he became one of Newton's Cores.
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Stu Dent |
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22/01/19 8:00:08 |
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Dave Bryan |
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''Don't worry, his Bach is worse than his bite.'' 17/12/18 8:00:36 |
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Chris Keegan |
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No wonder it's tired, it came in at twenty to one. 16/12/18 12:00:20 |
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I find it odd.
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Dave Bryan |
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£50 ''If you buy ten packs, we'll throw in the towel.'' 08/11/18 20:16:31 |
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Many thanks for the kind comments. Looking at the quality of the previous winners, I'm delighted to now be one of them.The dosh will also come in useful. Next time my wife says ''Are you wasting your time doing those stupid captions again...
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Mark England |
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22/10/18 20:44:22 |
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Charles Gleason |
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"Let's go home Mary. Ten years camping out here and still no sign of the monster." 26/09/18 8:10:46 |
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Charles Gleason |
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15/09/18 8:02:14 |
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I hadn't thought of that.It Disney really matter to me.Thanks for the input.
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Tony Edwards |
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02/09/18 8:22:17 |
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Definitely not a case of the runs, Forrest, runs.
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Karyn Harrison |
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26/08/18 20:00:24 |
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stone face |
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" I told you before we got on the plane, to just give him the fuckin bread." 05/08/18 9:40:54 |
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Mr Dome |
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23/07/18 12:45:34 |
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Dan Nicholls |
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06/06/18 8:09:42 |
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Welsh Rarebit |
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12/05/18 20:00:07 |
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Chris Keegan |
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15/04/18 20:04:11 |
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John Glover |
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"Shit, I've left all my groceries at the school gate." 01/03/18 12:46:32 |
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Pete |
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£50 "Don't move, love...the reception is perfect now." 16/12/17 14:52:25 |
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Congratulations Pete! I love your quirky sense of humour. :)
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Stephen Paterson |
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Brian was incredibly nervous about his upcoming appearance on Mastermind. 30/09/17 12:15:44 |
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It brings a new meaning to the phrase "I've started so I'll finish"!
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C CaMel |
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£50 "Attention, this vehicle is versing!" 22/09/17 20:24:42 |
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Hi All, totally chuffed to be picked! Thank you to Chris for a brilliant site and to all fellow captioneers for the hilarious captions which keep me coming back for more!
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Mark England |
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It's situated in a close knit community 15/02/17 20:06:24 |
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Michael Winner |
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Before the invention of video games, we had to play the analogue version of Space Invaders. 18/01/17 13:36:29 |
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C CaMel |
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'I'll have the salad, I've been eating shit lately' 22/10/16 20:04:29 |
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lol man
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Tosser Wivlov |
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I think she's about to toe it away. 09/04/16 12:33:31 |
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Very funny.
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Tracy Davidson |
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"For the last time, will you stop playing those bloody drums!" 31/03/16 15:07:53 |
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Cath Jones |
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Captioneer in Cumbria is determined not to miss the 12 o'clock photo. 08/12/15 12:00:59 |
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Stephen Paterson |
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12/09/15 9:01:42 |
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Tracy Davidson |
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11/09/15 20:00:09 |
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It's a fantastic caption. I'm just unhappy that I didn't think of it (self-flagellation with a thorny branch now begins..)
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Cath Jones |
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26/08/15 20:11:16 |
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John Glover |
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"Why can't we be smuggled into Britain just like the others, in the back of a truck?" 28/07/15 21:46:14 |
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Tony Edwards |
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27/07/15 8:01:25 |
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Dan Nicholls |
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Can't come out tonight I'm washing my hare. 26/07/15 8:00:23 |
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Zac Kramer |
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Just what I need to play my Hip-Op records 16/07/15 12:00:35 |
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Michael Winner |
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They have taken the holy vowels. 09/03/15 12:01:50 |
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Ian Searle |
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" AND I'M TELLIN' YOU... GRADED GRAINS MAKE FINER FLOUR!!!!!" 26/02/15 8:54:38 |
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Glyn Evans |
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29/10/14 9:04:37 |
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Ian Searle |
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23/10/14 9:02:51 |
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Boycie |
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# Our kestrel manoevered in the park. 22/09/14 8:30:08 |
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AXE |
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"I took de wheel off 'cause de brakes were Jamming, were Jamming..." 17/09/14 20:03:59 |
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Ian Mclaren |
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All those who want to learn how to swim put your hands up. 17/08/14 20:04:37 |
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Ron Allan |
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10/08/14 9:19:28 |
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died laughing
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Cath Jones |
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♫ "I'm a little teapot, short and kraut..." 05/08/14 20:00:06 |
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Doh Nutter |
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20/06/14 13:02:51 |
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Michael Winner |
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06/05/14 20:24:46 |
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Michael Winner |
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"Hello, Abbey Taxis? I saw your advert and I'd like to apply for the job…" 02/05/14 8:00:07 |
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Ian Skelding |
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20/02/14 12:00:13 |
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In 3D
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Mr Blonde |
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New Star Wars film criticised for containing excessive violins. 19/09/13 12:40:39 |
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Dan Dan |
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"Dad, why does that balloon in your wallet taste like Strawberries?" 25/08/13 8:00:10 |
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Gordon Bannerman |
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"Yeah, when we filmed Animal Hospital that Rolf character touched me here ... and other places" 08/08/13 21:15:56 |
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August's caption of the month, posted to the official caption.me Facebook page. Congrats!
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Glyn Evans |
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05/07/13 12:05:39 |
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Tosser Wivlov |
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....place casserole in oven, stand on top shelf. 02/05/13 10:03:09 |
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Helen Llamas |
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05/04/13 8:10:10 |
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:o can't believe i opted against using this one :(
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Ian Mclaren |
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20/03/13 13:19:15 |
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"see 12:13:43 and 12:47:38" Aw c'mon, thats very nit picky? ani-mating is a play on shagging, the other two don't make the 'mate' part of animate meaning anything other than it's original meaning.
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F Mackay |
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08/02/13 20:09:45 |
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@anon, you might want to consider putting in 'Designed by Parkability Brown' as a caption :)
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F Mackay |
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“That looks perfect Neil. We’ll come back tonight and film it with the spacesuit on.†20/01/13 20:35:06 |
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Cath Jones |
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Even at her age, Emily has no problem with her Joints. 11/01/13 20:00:08 |
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Cath Jones |
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It is often found in Fairies Rings. 05/01/13 12:00:40 |
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F Mackay |
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"This house is possessed by the Breville." 10/11/12 8:34:41 |
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crm |
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.....but you didn't turn up til 9!" 27/10/12 12:02:23 |
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Pete |
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Investigators were fairly confident that they had found the John Denver crash site. 27/09/12 20:00:27 |
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Tony Busby |
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17/09/12 20:02:08 |
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Ken Stapleton |
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15/09/12 8:23:55 |
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Neil Mackenzie |
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Are you a member of the AA Sir. 10/07/12 20:08:08 |
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Ken Stapleton |
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24/06/12 11:16:50 |
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Joe T |
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For the love of God Victoria, please eat something. 08/06/12 20:06:33 |
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Rob Falconer |
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For the furnishings, we went to BIKEA 05/05/12 20:03:09 |
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Suzanne Brooks |
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16/04/12 11:00:46 |
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Pablo Cabello |
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£50 27/01/12 11:22:25 |
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Lee Hauxwell |
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£50 The first passenger flight of Derry Air 15/08/11 11:12:49 |
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Hercules Rockefeller |
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28/03/21 12:01:21 |
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Hercules. Missed the vote on your caption. Can safely say it’s one of the funniest captions, and now one of favourites. I’m still chuckling now! Xxxx 🤣😂😆
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Dave Bryan |
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''I can't see Newcastle avoiding relegation, Gary. They're just too exposed at the back.'' 26/03/21 8:33:21 |
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Al Overy |
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10/03/21 8:03:42 |
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stone face |
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03/03/21 12:15:50 |
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Al Overy |
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16/02/21 8:00:07 |
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"Listen, all I need you to do is find me 25 more votes, or I won't like you as much. Stop the steal." Signed, anon voter
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Al Overy |
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06/01/21 20:00:41 |
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Al Overy |
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£50 Blind people: never walk near swamps with an inexperienced guide dog. 05/12/20 20:07:54 |
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... or an inexperienced bog guide.Well done Al. Great caption.
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C CaMel |
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"Sausage and egg McMuffin, no egg, and no muffin." 28/11/20 8:32:51 |
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This is similar to what I ask for but they don't seem to understand what I mean when I say "Can you hold the sausage?"
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James Lennox |
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I have a strange urge to whack her with an oversize rubber mallet. 17/11/20 9:17:11 |
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Kenny Ireland |
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Sarah also had a chest freezer. 21/10/20 15:18:42 |
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Ian Skelding |
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18/09/20 12:18:06 |
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Michael Winner |
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Top tip: when your pets die, have them stuffed and turned into croquet hoops. 13/08/20 12:01:10 |
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James Lennox |
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The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on. 31/07/20 8:09:57 |
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Rachel P |
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04/06/20 20:11:10 |
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The truth is snout hair. :^)
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Dave Bryan |
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27/05/20 21:12:30 |
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Looks like there'll be no departures today.
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Mark England |
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Due to a bagpipe shortage, Luton's 'Scottish Exile Pipe Band' had to improvise 22/05/20 12:12:57 |
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But it was a bit of a Wee Crankie idea.
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Dave Bryan |
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''I'm absolutely worn out, prowling round Essex all night trying to find a virgin.'' 01/05/20 12:13:13 |
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Mr Dome |
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Hello madam. Allow me to push your stool in 04/04/20 9:41:59 |
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The Wolf |
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03/04/20 12:00:39 |
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The Wolf |
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Being a first responder to a car accident on the Simpsons was a sobering experience… 02/04/20 12:00:09 |
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Looks like he's covered in Marge.
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Stu Dent |
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29/01/20 20:18:23 |
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A sting operation resulted in a successful police raid.
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The Wolf |
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01/12/19 20:00:06 |
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Welsh Rarebit |
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£50 25/11/19 8:00:08 |
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Thanks everyone for the comments and votes. November has been a very lucky month, winning 5 times on the lottery (grand total of £67.60!) and now on caption.me!
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The Wolf |
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16/09/19 20:00:05 |
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Vivvy En |
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£50 "Why are you upset...? I said 'I'd give you a ring from Cartier'." 03/09/19 13:31:20 |
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Thanks to everyone for your kind comments and votes. I am reeling from the shock! To be in the captioners gallery is an accolade I truly never expected. I am honoured. A big thank you goes to Chris for providing this platform for us lovers of word...
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stone face |
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31/08/19 8:14:50 |
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Dave Bryan |
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14/08/19 8:02:06 |
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Troompa Loompa |
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10/08/19 20:35:10 |
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The Wolf |
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08/08/19 20:44:45 |
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Dan Nicholls |
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16/07/19 12:04:15 |
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Mark England |
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"Good afternoon. Today, we are in Delhi, for the semi finals of the Extreme Jenga Championship.." 30/06/19 12:05:59 |
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C CaMel |
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28/06/19 8:21:50 |
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Vanessa the Guesser |
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20/06/19 20:01:49 |
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Chris Keegan |
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12/05/19 20:21:22 |
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Welsh Rarebit |
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03/05/19 8:00:09 |
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The Wolf |
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24/04/19 12:51:55 |
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Mr. Toad |
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Stewards enquiry after tortoise lodges an official complaint 19/04/19 12:00:37 |
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Glyn Evans |
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24/02/19 12:28:25 |
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Chris Keegan |
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"Borrow the car? Oh Philip, you do make one laugh sometimes" 16/02/19 12:00:07 |
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Mr Dome |
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09/02/19 8:08:34 |
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Dan Nicholls |
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08/12/18 8:59:38 |
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Karyn Harrison |
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06/12/18 20:00:46 |
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Tina Flowers |
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31/10/18 20:17:56 |
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Karyn Harrison |
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21/10/18 12:00:14 |
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Charles Gleason |
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"Have you any idea how many people have been looking for you ?" 10/09/18 8:01:18 |
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ant knee |
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13/08/18 12:00:24 |
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Stephen Paterson |
£50  18/07/18 0:32:15 |
15 |
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Woof! Wasn't expecting that. Nice one Folks!
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Tiny Alien |
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28/06/18 8:15:55 |
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Mr Dome |
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21/06/18 20:33:04 |
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Kenny Ireland |
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17/06/18 9:35:49 |
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Welsh Rarebit |
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16/06/18 20:02:37 |
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Ian Skelding |
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The Invisible Man gets a right good kicking. 12/06/18 20:00:13 |
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Vivvy En |
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Dave, a budding photographer, really hoped the bird would fly off so he could take a better shot 11/06/18 20:39:08 |
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Took me a while, just twigged it.Great caption.
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C CaMel |
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"I can hardly walk in these eels!" 01/06/18 8:09:09 |
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Ian Skelding |
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"Bloody hell Jim, now you put the toilet seat down." 05/11/17 12:01:38 |
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Welsh Rarebit |
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22/08/17 20:04:13 |
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Ian Skelding |
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"He needs a clip around the ears." 16/02/17 20:01:30 |
1 |
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Curiously, our local barber shop is actually called a Clip Around The Ears.
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John Glover |
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"Yes, I am an architect, but I compile crossword puzzles on the side." 06/02/17 12:18:16 |
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Pussy Galore |
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How many times do I have to tell the kids not to accept lifts from strangers? 15/01/17 12:03:17 |
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Thanks for the votes everyone, this is my highest-scoring caption to date. :)
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Tony Edwards |
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05/12/16 20:12:16 |
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Great caption Tony
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Glyn Evans |
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"I don't know how I got burnt, I've had my sun screen on all day." 11/11/16 20:08:44 |
1 |
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hahaha, took me some time.'sun screen'
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Tony Edwards |
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"That reminds me, we must get the voltage adjusted on that electric fence." 17/10/16 20:31:44 |
2 |
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Come fry with me...
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Smuldo |
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Igor's hopes of a medal were now in Limbo. 18/08/16 20:09:46 |
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Pete |
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The impressive collection from Arkwright's till. 29/06/16 15:13:21 |
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Mark England |
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"All I did was order a pint of cider" 02/04/16 20:05:57 |
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Ron Allan |
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It's obviously not ground coffee 05/02/16 16:31:02 |
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The down votes showing here appear to be the result of a bug I introduced with my recent changes to the voting code. I'll look into this ASAP.
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John Glover |
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"Shit, so what did we have put down?" 25/01/16 21:58:26 |
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Ian Skelding |
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"Sonja, for chrissakes, pull the cord." 25/01/16 8:04:44 |
1 |
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Without your brilliant buildup, this caption would have fallen flat. (No pun intended.) Nice job!!!
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Zac Kramer |
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23/11/15 20:07:37 |
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John Llamas |
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14/10/15 20:10:32 |
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Lucky Elperro |
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12/10/15 16:30:15 |
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Tosser Wivlov |
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Honey, have you checked on the twins? 06/10/15 9:41:27 |
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John Llamas |
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We didn't always have hair dryers 23/09/15 12:15:06 |
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Michael Winner |
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Eventually they tried other projectiles, but by then the name had stuck: 'catapult'. 20/07/15 8:04:20 |
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John Llamas |
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02/02/15 8:11:39 |
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AXE |
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"Paul, you're going out with me now - why does your X have to go everywhere with us?" 09/12/14 20:10:51 |
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Maybe it's a sign of things to come
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AXE |
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20/11/14 8:00:08 |
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Tony Edwards |
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21/10/14 12:53:38 |
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Keep looking back at your caption. I love the captions that make me think "SO-OBVIOUS-but-I-never-would-have-thought-of-that-in-a-million-years." .....Nice job!
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Zac Kramer |
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07/10/14 21:53:27 |
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I think your right on the money there.
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Kenny Ireland |
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Steve does not look too happy but he will soon be chuffed to bits. 27/08/14 6:38:03 |
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AXE |
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"Damn! I've completely missed the Finnish line" 14/08/14 20:00:04 |
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Ian Skelding |
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There's always one practical joker outside a Mosque. 11/08/14 8:08:55 |
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Bless my sole.
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Tony Edwards |
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Paul Daniels looks lost without Debbie McGee. 03/08/14 8:32:52 |
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What did Paul Daniels say when three thousand blue whales ejaculated in his mouth? Not a lot.
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Doh Nutter |
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"Do you know the Barber of Seville?...Well bloody well go and see him then." 22/07/14 8:56:53 |
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Funny and clever.
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Ross Davidson |
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17/07/14 12:38:50 |
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I posted one about palmed laughter that didn't quite work, but I'm kicking myself for not getting this. Very apt and succinct. :)
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Michael Winner |
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In an Espace, no one can hear you scream. 23/06/14 8:04:48 |
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Tracy Davidson |
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13/06/14 13:28:16 |
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Love it, one of those 'I wish I'd thought of that one' moments.
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Cath Jones |
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29/04/14 20:06:34 |
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Cheers Ian. I get it now. I've had a long day :)
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Ian Skelding |
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"Ground control to Ginger Tom" 14/04/14 20:08:28 |
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Ginger Tom perhaps? Would get my vote:)
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John Glover |
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26/03/14 12:58:08 |
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Ian Skelding |
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17/03/14 9:23:37 |
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Dave Mackay |
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"I said "She needs a new collar", you prat". 28/02/14 12:18:07 |
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Tony Edwards |
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"If this doesn't give me an orgasm, nothing will." 28/12/13 13:41:48 |
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Tosser Wivlov |
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We only wear them for special equations. 10/11/13 20:36:45 |
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Undoubtedly Caption of the Week if ever there was one- fantastic!
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Ian Skelding |
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"Not much longer now sweetheart, you're nearly dry." 08/08/13 9:01:23 |
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Nice caption. A true laugh...
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