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Smuldo Vote score: 11752Smuldo

£50
WINNER

  "What the f*ck is PPI...?"

09/10/17 20:28:10

 24
Smuldo has very kindly donated his prize toward the running of this site. Thanks and congrats again on a great caption.  --Chris Beach
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

"Why are you leaving the job?"
"The doctor says I've got parking zones disease."

11/02/17 20:48:38

 1
Thank you for all the votes. That's my highest score to date. :)  --Pussy Galore
Mark England Vote score: 19066Mark England

Pros and Cons

21/10/16 12:54:20

 
Cath Jones Vote score: 38790Cath Jones

Prick Teas

17/10/15 20:00:07

 
Cath Jones Vote score: 38790Cath Jones

My Big Fat Tipsy Wedding.

02/08/15 21:09:56

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34614Tony Edwards

Boltergeists.

15/10/14 8:31:28

 
Helen Llamas Vote score: 933Helen Llamas

Swiss Army Wife.

20/04/14 20:24:31

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 25313Michael Winner

A mass grave of unknown snowmen.

05/02/14 8:00:09

 6
Fitting old jokes to captions isn't what I would do personally but each to their own, there's a big difference between getting inspiration from an old joke and then adapting it and citing an old gag word for word. A nod to the original is good f... --Shandonbelle
C CaMel Vote score: 7640C CaMel

Feeling cannelloni?

12/11/12 12:07:39

 
Dan Dan Vote score: 5606Dan Dan

The new Paralympic torch.

02/09/12 12:03:49

 
Cath Jones Vote score: 38790Cath Jones

£100
WINNER

Grillers in the mist.

07/08/12 12:27:04

 15
Gordon Bannerman Vote score: 4691Gordon Bannerman

Hitch-hiker killed in freak accident

07/06/12 11:14:26

 7
Lyarna Manley Vote score: 558Lyarna Manley

Cliff was holding the fort.

15/05/12 11:22:15

 
Linda D Vote score: 1080Linda D

Burkha King

12/05/12 20:00:21

 
Pablo Cabello Vote score: 3393Pablo Cabello

The riding's on the wall.

05/05/12 20:00:09

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 25313Michael Winner

"Permission to speak, Captain Mainwaring sir..."

24/03/14 20:00:55

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8695Glyn Evans

Marital Arts

10/01/14 12:00:12

 1
Or "Marital Kombat" :-) --Oli Blackwell
Gordon Bannerman Vote score: 4691Gordon Bannerman

Two Popes elected in Staffordshire

25/08/13 20:51:41

 1
I keep chuckling at this one. --Dan Dan
Gayna Dee Vote score: 2967Gayna Dee

See A Penny..Pick It Up..All The Day You'll Have Good Luck

12/04/13 8:30:37

 2
Genius. --Michael Monkhouse
John  Glover Vote score: 22046John Glover

"So Mr Smith, are these all the hallucinogenics you have taken, and how are you feeling now?"

18/02/13 12:15:46

 1
This is cracking :-) --Chris Beach
Dan Dan Vote score: 5606Dan Dan

Spagyetti.

12/11/12 12:00:09

 3
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

"Think in...think out."

09/11/12 8:13:13

 2
Mark England Vote score: 19066Mark England

Bruised Wayne

18/09/12 20:10:56

 
F Mackay Vote score: 21871F Mackay

♬ Relieving on a jet plane. ♬

24/08/12 12:02:19

 
John  Glover Vote score: 22046John Glover

"Come on out you bastards, I'm supposed to be getting married in half an hour!"

06/07/12 11:11:12

 2
Dave Devine Vote score: 1725Dave Devine

Radio waves

24/06/12 11:00:11

 
Christopher Harris Vote score: 155Christopher Harris

Puzzled look!

23/06/12 20:00:30

 1
Paul Woolley Vote score: 3354Paul Woolley

Bust Stop

08/06/12 20:00:06

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Men like him should be put behind bras.

16/05/12 11:03:56

 
Mr. Toad Vote score: 1738Mr. Toad

This disturbing image was found in the home of a known Speedophile.

02/05/12 20:00:49

 2
Naa they'r just trying to make a brief trunk call --Bad Boy Dennis.
F Mackay Vote score: 21871F Mackay

"I've got 10,000 twitter followers."

16/03/12 11:06:48

 
Roley Martin Vote score: 1863Roley Martin

Trying to make N's meet.

27/10/11 11:17:46

 2
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17207Dave Bryan

Stoned baked pizza

08/08/21 20:20:57

 
stone face Vote score: 10097stone face
  Find out more on our website..

09/05/21 8:03:42

 4
No intention to undermine the caption, I liked it and voted for it, but the placard is deliberately satirical. The clues are the "I agree with the SJC" badge and the "myage.us" website (which were both pro equality related), the rainbow flag, ... --James Lennox
Al Overy Vote score: 8173Al Overy

"I'm afraid I'll have to leave it there as I'm really bad at painting chairs."

30/04/21 20:00:34

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13624The Wolf

Antarctic expedition diary. Day 1.

Me and my fellow explorers were getting tired. The freezing conditions and sharp winds were starting to affect our strength and patience. After a 50 mile hike through the difficult terrain, we stopped to eat some energy gels from our survival packs. What happened next we could have never predicted. Derbyshire Police turned up and fined us £200 for having a f*cking picnic.

14/01/21 12:10:07

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13624The Wolf

£50
WINNER

Meerkat fancy dress costumes have become increasingly popular  within Denmarks Mink population.

10/11/20 8:00:16

 21
Many thanks to you all for your votes and kind words. Additional thanks to Chris for providing and maintaining the site and for choosing me for this month's winner. This was one of those captions which I nearly didn't post because I thought it w... --The Wolf
The Wolf Vote score: 13624The Wolf

Dear Santa. For Christmas this year I'd love some thermal underpants.

05/10/20 20:27:23

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 26217Ian Skelding

"Right, that's curry sauce, mango chutney, basmati rice, onion bhaji, poppadoms and a Nan."

15/03/20 12:57:09

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7640C CaMel

Now in stock.

13/08/19 20:43:44

 
Mark England Vote score: 19066Mark England

"Flippin' hell, Edmund, Who cares if it's creased? Just stick the flag in the bloody summit"

24/06/19 20:30:04

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

£50
WINNER

Children should be seen and not blurred.

10/05/19 8:49:01

 22
No ..that's exactly what I meant..I always propose to the monthly winner..and because am such a handsome bastard I just knew you'd say yes xx(PS I normally put in for a divorce once the fifty quid is spent.) --stone face
  Smuldo Vote score: 11752 Smuldo

"God, Shave the Queen..."

04/05/19 20:00:10

 
Joe Vote score: 1761Joe

🎵 Wheel meat again 🎵

02/05/19 14:04:27

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 5190Crunchy Chords
  I always cry at weldings.

26/04/19 14:59:11

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12503Mr Dome

Read my lips...

28/02/19 8:18:57

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 5350Stu Dent

When I said I wanted a cake with a big number two on it I meant her age

08/02/19 20:05:14

 1
Typo "meant", but nice caption :) --James Lennox
C CaMel Vote score: 7640C CaMel

'live from the paper plane crash, as it unfolds.'

19/01/19 20:19:53

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

£50
WINNER

Shark ingested daughters.

15/12/18 12:00:10

 17
I'm over the moon! thanks everyone :-) I wish everyone a Happy New Year --Welsh Rarebit
ant knee Vote score: 1134ant knee

Irritable Owl Syndrome

23/10/18 12:00:17

 2
Funny Bean Vote score: 19285Funny Bean


One Million Years P.C.

07/10/18 12:00:09

 1
Still better than Vista. --Mauris Iocus
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10732Chris Keegan

"Come on officer, I was only doing a fraction over"

17/09/18 12:00:08

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20078John Llamas

This sort of thing just makes me cross

07/09/18 8:14:55

 
Smuldo Vote score: 11752Smuldo

"Are you going out without putting a coat on ?..."

06/09/18 14:02:48

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7879Leroy Brown

Force Feeding

06/08/18 8:23:05

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10732Chris Keegan

The final episode of Peppa Pig

02/11/17 8:14:09

 
Ross Davidson Vote score: 1724Ross Davidson

The next drink was complimentary.

19/07/16 11:52:50

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 25313Michael Winner

West Cider Story.

22/03/16 12:03:32

 1
♫ I feel slitty, oh so slitty ♫  --Boycie
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5697Lucky Elperro

"Where's the snake darling?"
"Upstairs with the twins."

23/01/16 23:08:48

 3
Hey, Lucky. Like our friend, Zac, I see that you won two out of three in "your row." But, can you sweep a whole row, get a triple? No pressure. Just sayin'...you came pretty close.  --Greg Curtis
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 16230Dan Nicholls

"Do you remember, a little boy wrote to you 18 years ago asking for a bike and a truck? That was me motherf*cker".

22/09/15 20:06:38

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20078John Llamas

Pasture bedtime

20/09/15 20:05:58

 3
Have to agree with Mr Glover - this is a winner. --Dan Nicholls
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6990Greg Curtis

"Did I mention my boyfriend's a truck driver?"

02/08/15 9:43:57

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20078John Llamas

The locals were more accustomed to seeing stools washed up on the beach.

29/01/15 12:14:36

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17207Dave Bryan

''What have you got to say for yourself?''

''Meow.''

Fri 12:09:02

 1
Your cat clearly helped you with this one Dave! --Chris Keegan
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5697Lucky Elperro

£50
WINNER

"Are you stuck mate?"  "No, Im delivering A F**CKING BRIDGE!"

22/08/21 12:09:12

 21
Lucky Elperro has insisted I invest the prize money into the running of the site, which is very kind of him. Thanks! --Chris Beach
Willie Johnson Vote score: 3216Willie Johnson

The ultimate embarrassment: when you need a tow to get back to base.

26/07/21 8:35:20

 
Mark England Vote score: 19066Mark England

Never try to leave a barbers without paying

01/07/21 12:19:39

 3
Great caption Mark but I think Al Overy deserved a nod for being first to come up with the barber idea which hadn't occurred to me. --Stephen Bean
Tony S Vote score: 3004Tony S

It got worse when the manager pulled him off at half time.

09/04/21 20:18:47

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16100Vanessa the Guesser

£50
WINNER

  "Good boy!" said Paul McCartney.

25/03/21 20:00:07

 21
Thank you for the votes and kind comments. I hope you all get the chance to put your feet up and have a great Easter! --Vanessa the Guesser
C CaMel Vote score: 7640C CaMel

Scribbling rivalry

11/03/21 12:10:27

 7
I don't mind really, was just making mischief. Was hoping you'd offer to upgrade your vote to a "clever" to keep it as "r". 🙃 --Troompa Loompa
James Lennox Vote score: 9434James Lennox

Dave was horrified to discover the spyhole in his neighbour's fence had been removed, along with the fence.

09/03/21 12:35:25

 1
...and along with the suit he was wearing. --Willie Johnson
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6415Karyn Harrison

If you want your dishwasher to work you have to turn it on.

14/10/20 12:30:14

 1
It has a squeeze butt-on. --Willie Johnson
James Lennox Vote score: 9434James Lennox

£50
WINNER

"What do you think Dave?"

"Well Sir, it looks like some sort of large grey box."

28/04/20 20:23:57

 18
First off, I'd like to thank the Academy ... no but seriously, thanks to Chris for picking #3 (I too preferred it to my other), and kudos to Smuldo for being equal #1. Thanks also to Mr. Dome for his "BeeSI: Miami", which forced me to edit my ... --James Lennox
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16100Vanessa the Guesser

In other words - U FO

18/04/20 12:11:28

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 19285Stephen Bean

Rowed hog

04/10/19 20:02:43

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21871Troompa Loompa

Dave wasn't impressed at how Legal and General settled his claim for the roof repair.

02/08/19 22:22:08

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16100Vanessa the Guesser

Bow legged.

11/07/19 8:18:11

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16100Vanessa the Guesser

"Euston, we have a problem"

30/04/19 12:21:58

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 576Gavin Smithers

"I'm afraid we're giving the part to Ursula Andress"

26/04/19 9:59:08

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10732Chris Keegan

Convenience food.

21/04/19 14:14:53

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8335Vivvy En

"Do you mind...? I work nights, you know."

28/02/19 20:54:27

 
Glad You Remember Vote score: 1204Glad You Remember

"It's members only, sir."

26/12/18 12:01:59

 
Tina  Flowers Vote score: 663Tina Flowers


'It's not you Ken, it's me, I just want more space'.

28/11/18 21:55:22

 2
I agree with Dave, this one was so good I refused to attempt a caption... --G fj
Mark England Vote score: 19066Mark England

£50
WINNER

"Sorry I grabbed you, Fido,  I thought it was my lipstick"

01/10/18 20:04:56

 20
I'm absolutely thrilled. Thanks to everyone for the votes and kind comments  --Mark England
stone face Vote score: 10097stone face

"Has Nan gone out with that big glass ashtray in her mouth again?"

26/08/18 20:57:14

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Amazon customer help desk.

09/08/18 20:22:44

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

"Beryl, can we go home now as I've got a Whopper of a headache."

29/07/18 20:08:29

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 12239Neil Mackenzie

Essex Girls struggle to wear knickers on special occasions.

26/07/18 8:00:44

 1
Ah, that's 'cracked' me up. You're so mean. --Vivvy En
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34614Tony Edwards

Climb it change

15/05/18 8:55:45

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3464Stephen Paterson

He'll be back in his crypt tonight.

10/05/18 12:14:18

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2800Jonathan Allsopp

£50
WINNER

Because Mrs Benson had been hiding under the bed at the time of the burglary, the line-up at Clacton police station was somewhat unusual.

17/04/17 8:35:16

 14
Amazing. The comments mean a lot more than the 50. Very kind. May the silliness long continue!Thanks. --Jonathan Allsopp
Mark England Vote score: 19066Mark England

In his younger days, Don King had a fetish for licking squirrels arses

23/01/17 20:16:38

 3
It's based on Don King's unique hairstyle  --Mark England
Ian Skelding Vote score: 26217Ian Skelding

The battery's dead.

02/01/17 20:25:25

 2
That is the best caption for some time. Nice work. --Dan Nicholls
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3464Stephen Paterson

Bah HungBug!

22/12/16 12:01:58

 2
Thank you folks, that's now my best scoring caption. :-)  --Stephen Paterson
Steve Wright Vote score: 1854Steve Wright

£50
WINNER

Wally's swollen testicles were becoming a concern.

09/12/16 15:09:17

 14
Yeah truly fantastic caption  --Petey Bee
Smuldo Vote score: 11752Smuldo

£50
WINNER

  Star Trek : The Vinyl Frontier.

03/11/16 8:02:11

 11
Thanks very much everyone,much appreciated and thanks to Chris for giving us a great site with superb captioneers, cheers 😁 --Smuldo
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6990Greg Curtis

£100
WINNER

  "WHO INVITED your Rex?"

20/08/16 12:15:41

 17
Thanks for all the great feedback, gang! And thank you, Chris, for creating, and running this great site...which keeps us off the streets and out of trouble. The internet can be a dark place, but caption.me is a point of shimmering light - a place... --Greg Curtis
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34614Tony Edwards

"Umm.....what's this? DO NOT SPIT AT THE VISITORS."

21/07/16 20:35:59

 
Steve Davies Vote score: 2443Steve Davies

"Let me see, Google , images , Medusa, ah shit.

25/10/15 20:20:14

 2
"Is that really you Medusa? Well stone me..." --Boycie
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34614Tony Edwards

Spinal chord

09/09/15 12:44:04

 
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