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captions

Pete

£50

lol x2

It's unusual for a seagull to be scared of heights.

21/06/18 20:07:37

I couldn't wait to find out who posted this caption. Absolutely brilliant, Pete. :) --Pussy Galore

Ian Skelding

lol x2

creative

Great on the parcel shelf of a car.

Nod to everyone.

23/05/18 14:08:30

You got the record for "the longest fuse" on a caption:45 seconds before I got it...Congrats!!! --Greg Curtis

Troompa Loompa

£50

lol

clever

"Oi mate! You're in the wrong quay."

11/02/18 21:07:10

Well done Troompa - you hit the right note with that one. --Vivvy En

Michael Winner

£50

lol x2

"How will I recognise you?"

09/11/17 20:34:07

Woo woo! Thanks for the comments and the votes everyone! --Michael Winner

Smuldo

£50

lol

09/10/17 20:28:10

Smuldo has very kindly donated his prize toward the running of this site. Thanks and congrats again on a great caption. --Chris Beach

Pussy Galore

lol x2

"Why are you leaving the job?"
"The doctor says I've got parking zones disease."

11/02/17 20:48:38

Thank you for all the votes. That's my highest score to date. :) --Pussy Galore

21/10/16 12:54:20

17/10/15 20:00:07

My Big Fat Tipsy Wedding.

02/08/15 21:09:56

15/10/14 8:31:28

20/04/14 20:24:31

A mass grave of unknown snowmen.

05/02/14 8:00:09

Fitting old jokes to captions isn't what I would do personally but each to their own, there's a big difference between getting inspiration from an old joke and then adapting it and citing an old gag word for word. A nod to the original is good f... --Shandonbelle

C CaMel

Feeling cannelloni?

12/11/12 12:07:39

Dan Dan

The new Paralympic torch.

02/09/12 12:03:49

Cath Jones

£100

Grillers in the mist.

07/08/12 12:27:04

Gordon Bannerman

Hitch-hiker killed in freak accident

07/06/12 11:14:26

Lyarna Manley

Cliff was holding the fort.

15/05/12 11:22:15

Linda D

Burkha King

12/05/12 20:00:21

Pablo Cabello

The riding's on the wall.

05/05/12 20:00:09

Michael Winner

lol

"Permission to speak, Captain Mainwaring sir..."

24/03/14 20:00:55

Gordon Bannerman

lol x2

Two Popes elected in Staffordshire

25/08/13 20:51:41

I keep chuckling at this one. --Dan Dan

Gayna Dee

lol x2

creative x2

See A Penny..Pick It Up..All The Day You'll Have Good Luck

12/04/13 8:30:37

Genius. --Michael Monkhouse

John Glover

creative x2

"So Mr Smith, are these all the hallucinogenics you have taken, and how are you feeling now?"

18/02/13 12:15:46

This is cracking :-) --Chris Beach

Dan Dan

Spagyetti.

12/11/12 12:00:09

Pete

"Think in...think out."

09/11/12 8:13:13

Mark England

Bruised Wayne

18/09/12 20:10:56

F Mackay

🎵 Relieving on a jet plane. 🎵

24/08/12 12:02:19

John Glover

"Come on out you bastards, I'm supposed to be getting married in half an hour!"

06/07/12 11:11:12

24/06/12 11:00:11

23/06/12 20:00:30

08/06/12 20:00:06

Men like him should be put behind bras.

16/05/12 11:03:56

Mr. Toad

This disturbing image was found in the home of a known Speedophile.

02/05/12 20:00:49

Naa they'r just trying to make a brief trunk call --Bad Boy Dennis.

F Mackay

"I've got 10,000 twitter followers."

16/03/12 11:06:48

Roley Martin

Trying to make N's meet.

27/10/11 11:17:46

Stephen Bean

£50

"Piss off Dave. Bills already given me two mirrors and a windscreen wiper."

lol

creative

01/04/22 12:10:36

Well done Stephen, you certainly rose to that challenge. --John Glover

30/03/22 12:50:56

23/11/21 12:04:59

08/08/21 20:20:57

09/05/21 8:03:42

No intention to undermine the caption, I liked it and voted for it, but the placard is deliberately satirical. The clues are the "I agree with the SJC" badge and the "myage.us" website (which were both pro equality related), the rainbow flag, ... --James Lennox

Al Overy

"I'm afraid I'll have to leave it there as I'm really bad at painting chairs."

30/04/21 20:00:34

The Wolf

lol

Antarctic expedition diary. Day 1.

Me and my fellow explorers were getting tired. The freezing conditions and sharp winds were starting to affect our strength and patience. After a 50 mile hike through the difficult terrain, we stopped to eat some energy gels from our survival packs. What happened next we could have never predicted. Derbyshire Police turned up and fined us Â£200 for having a f*cking picnic.

14/01/21 12:10:07

£50

10/11/20 8:00:16

Many thanks to you all for your votes and kind words. Additional thanks to Chris for providing and maintaining the site and for choosing me for this month's winner. This was one of those captions which I nearly didn't post because I thought it w... --The Wolf

The Wolf

Dear Santa. For Christmas this year I'd love some thermal underpants.

05/10/20 20:27:23

Ian Skelding

lol

clever

"Right, that's curry sauce, mango chutney, basmati rice, onion bhaji, poppadoms and a Nan."

15/03/20 12:57:09

13/08/19 20:43:44

"Flippin' hell, Edmund, Who cares if it's creased? Just stick the flag in the bloody summit"

24/06/19 20:30:04

Welsh Rarebit

£50

clever x2

Children should be seen and not blurred.

10/05/19 8:49:01

No ..that's exactly what I meant..I always propose to the monthly winner..and because am such a handsome bastard I just knew you'd say yes xx(PS I normally put in for a divorce once the fifty quid is spent.) --stone face

Smuldo

"God, Shave the Queen..."

04/05/19 20:00:10

02/05/19 14:04:27

26/04/19 14:59:11

28/02/19 8:18:57

When I said I wanted a cake with a big number two on it I meant her age

08/02/19 20:05:14

Typo "meant", but nice caption :) --James Lennox

'live from the paper plane crash, as it unfolds.'

19/01/19 20:19:53

Welsh Rarebit

£50

lol

clever x2

15/12/18 12:00:10

I'm over the moon! thanks everyone :-) I wish everyone a Happy New Year --Welsh Rarebit

ant knee

Irritable Owl Syndrome

23/10/18 12:00:17

Funny Bean

lol

07/10/18 12:00:09

Still better than Vista. --Mauris Iocus

Chris Keegan

"Come on officer, I was only doing a fraction over"

17/09/18 12:00:08

John Llamas

creative

clever

This sort of thing just makes me cross

07/09/18 8:14:55

Smuldo

"Are you going out without putting a coat on ?..."

06/09/18 14:02:48

Leroy Brown

Force Feeding

06/08/18 8:23:05

Chris Keegan

The final episode of Peppa Pig

02/11/17 8:14:09

Ross Davidson

lol x3

The next drink was complimentary.

19/07/16 11:52:50

22/03/16 12:03:32

â™« I feel slitty, oh so slitty â™« --Boycie

"Where's the snake darling?"
"Upstairs with the twins."

23/01/16 23:08:48

Hey, Lucky. Like our friend, Zac, I see that you won two out of three in "your row." But, can you sweep a whole row, get a triple? No pressure. Just sayin'...you came pretty close. --Greg Curtis

Dan Nicholls

lol x2

creative

"Do you remember, a little boy wrote to you 18 years ago asking for a bike and a truck? That was me motherf*cker".

22/09/15 20:06:38

John Llamas

clever x3

Pasture bedtime

20/09/15 20:05:58

Have to agree with Mr Glover - this is a winner. --Dan Nicholls

Greg Curtis

lol

"Did I mention my boyfriend's a truck driver?"

02/08/15 9:43:57

John Llamas

lol x2

clever

The locals were more accustomed to seeing stools washed up on the beach.

29/01/15 12:14:36

James Lennox

lol

"Come on Darth, you slaughtered the Jedi, blew up a planet, killed your mentor ... I reckon 200 hours of community service is fair."

17/03/22 8:01:22

Chris Keegan

£50

"I SPENT A BLOODY HOUR MAKING THAT I TAKE A NAP AND NOW IT’S BOXED UP IN BITS!!"

lol x2

27/10/21 12:06:41

Hi all, many thanks for all your kind comments and votes, I'm in bits! I recently took some time off the site however the rehab clearly didn't work and it's great to be back transfixed to my phone in dark corridors with my fellow captionoholics... --Chris Keegan

Dave Bryan

lol

''What have you got to say for yourself?''

''Meow.''

15/10/21 12:09:02

Your cat clearly helped you with this one Dave! --Chris Keegan

Lucky Elperro

£50

"Are you stuck mate?" "No, Im delivering A F**CKING BRIDGE!"

lol

clever x2

22/08/21 12:09:12

Lucky Elperro has insisted I invest the prize money into the running of the site, which is very kind of him. Thanks! --Chris Beach

Willie Johnson

lol

The ultimate embarrassment: when you need a tow to get back to base.

26/07/21 8:35:20

Mark England

lol

Never try to leave a barbers without paying

01/07/21 12:19:39

Great caption Mark but I think Al Overy deserved a nod for being first to come up with the barber idea which hadn't occurred to me. --Stephen Bean

Tony S

lol

It got worse when the manager pulled him off at half time.

09/04/21 20:18:47

Vanessa the Guesser

£50

lol

25/03/21 20:00:07

Thank you for the votes and kind comments. I hope you all get the chance to put your feet up and have a great Easter! --Vanessa the Guesser

C CaMel

clever

Scribbling rivalry

11/03/21 12:10:27

I don't mind really, was just making mischief. Was hoping you'd offer to upgrade your vote to a "clever" to keep it as "r". ðŸ™ƒ --Troompa Loompa

James Lennox

lol x3

Dave was horrified to discover the spyhole in his neighbour's fence had been removed, along with the fence.

09/03/21 12:35:25

...and along with the suit he was wearing. --Willie Johnson

Karyn Harrison

lol

If you want your dishwasher to work you have to turn it on.

14/10/20 12:30:14

It has a squeeze butt-on. --Willie Johnson

James Lennox

£50

lol

creative x2

"What do you think Dave?"

"Well Sir, it looks like some sort of large grey box."

28/04/20 20:23:57

First off, I'd like to thank the Academy ... no but seriously, thanks to Chris for picking #3 (I too preferred it to my other), and kudos to Smuldo for being equal #1. Thanks also to Mr. Dome for his "BeeSI: Miami", which forced me to edit my ... --James Lennox

Vanessa the Guesser