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Guideaux

signed up: 8 years ago
profile viewed: 6 time(s) this week
caption quota: 14
votes given since joining: 5,490
super vote quota: 4

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Picking up the Captions again.

Try reading captions out loud...

Age: 40

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captions

Running out of police officers and soldiers, as a last resort London Zoo jumps in to help secure the 2012 Olympics.

19/07/12 20:00:14

Brilliance! --Chris Beach

Spitting Image

01/10/11 11:01:17

"Fire in the Hole!"

12/02/13 20:18:27

The Iranian athlete who dissapointedly finished last in the steeplechase, was given an incentive to save his country's honor at the Paralympics.

21/08/12 20:01:20

Hundreds of desperate unemployed EU refugees undertake a long and hazardous journey across the mediterranean in hope of a better future in Africa.

16/08/12 11:03:31

Le Coq Sportif.

06/03/16 21:29:26

"Say Cheese!"

06/05/15 12:22:19

A Delft Hitler.

05/08/14 20:04:34

"Anyone seen my other oven glove?"

14/10/13 20:25:53

Just want to say that this is the funniest caption I've seen this week- just brilliant. --Michael Winner

lol

Know your customer. Lesson 54:
How to say hi to the Masaai.

03/01/13 11:02:07

"Felix you forgot your lunchbox!"

24/11/12 20:03:20

lol

"I put in plenty of change, now what's keeping the bloody coke bottle?!"

06/01/14 12:41:48

♫ Say a boot's upside your head, say a boot's upside your head. ♫

24/07/12 20:00:14

"The only thing I need now are 6000 hamsters".

27/06/12 16:25:19

"Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep"

01/11/12 12:32:01

"I hope my grandson will be happy when he opens his birthday card and the 10.000 pound cheque".

01/07/12 11:16:09

"Woman Overbored"!

07/02/12 20:02:52

Now that's a weird fortune cookie!

22/11/13 21:03:08

creative

Snakes on a pain.

26/08/13 20:13:54

Ha ha ha ha hailing a cab, hailing a cab.

23/11/12 8:37:00

"It was heavenly, but please stop calling my dad's name when climaxing."

11/11/12 20:05:58

Infant Van Gogh.

14/05/12 18:24:16

I need backcup!

15/11/11 20:01:49

lol

If you move 3 of them you can make 4 triangles..

20/03/13 20:06:09

Best before: June 2128.

29/12/12 20:00:14

"Are you sure the bomb threat was part of the play?"

23/02/12 12:54:03

Snow Patrol.

19/02/12 20:08:34

Max felt Alienated.

01/02/12 20:00:11

Gordon Ramsay opens new restaurant in Korea.

24/01/12 11:13:08

♪ Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeeeeee! ♪

18/01/12 11:00:08

"That's very nice honey, now back to your webcam."

03/03/16 20:14:21

24/12/13 9:06:28

05/06/13 9:21:25

17/04/13 20:09:34

26/03/13 8:05:16

30/03/12 13:17:44

06/11/11 12:24:07

06/10/11 11:00:24

The Fashion of the Christ.

21/08/11 11:13:51

lol

Poop Art

13/05/16 20:58:46

♫ I'm singing in the Rhine. ♫

22/03/16 9:49:06

Mixed Martial Arse.

07/03/16 13:14:34

creative

"Don't worry dad, we took the hamster out before we lit the matches."

26/05/14 12:29:40

"Sounds like the clutch has gone Pete."

25/09/13 13:03:42

Advantage Pete Pampers.

07/05/13 12:20:39

"I don't exactly know what happened officer, first there were reindeer crossing the road followed by a flying sled!"

24/12/12 12:04:35

The Devil's Advocaat.

22/12/12 20:40:52

Another successful Boot Sale.

19/04/12 20:33:39

Save the Ale.

24/02/12 11:14:37

F#%%@&*!! Not one pair!

07/12/11 11:01:51

Cause of death: Sofacation.

30/09/11 11:15:17

Look George, Lovebite 1985 left you a message..

15/09/11 11:48:01

Rumanians believed to be behind mysterious disappearances of houses from African villages.

27/10/13 12:00:44

"All hands on Dick!"

23/05/13 20:04:21

All hands on Dick? --Zac Kramer

Trigger Finger.

14/01/13 20:21:57

"A wedding ring? Never!"

14/01/13 20:11:01

May the Ford be with you.

23/11/12 20:01:02

"No time to explain, just say we found it like this when we got here"

11/09/12 21:35:51

Marbellous!

14/01/12 12:27:42

Another one bites the crust.

18/11/11 11:13:28

Are you a leg or a breast man?

20/09/11 18:28:08

Let me teach you about the long arm of the law constable Harris.

18/08/11 11:29:27

My first Bagpipe.

14/01/14 21:06:43

Sci-Pie.

03/08/13 13:59:45

Boulevard of Broken Streams.

02/04/13 20:07:16

The Wedding Flashers.

29/07/12 20:03:50

Dave suffered from chronic nightstares.

15/07/12 20:00:25

Lord Sugar: "you're all fired!"

08/06/12 11:29:04

After a divorce, the woman often takes the house.

20/02/12 11:06:33

Madama Butterfly

24/01/12 20:00:06

Doris was even late for her own funeral.

09/11/11 20:00:10

Chris adding some embedded marketing on Caption.me

07/09/11 11:52:58

Spot the 75 differences.

17/07/11 11:28:07

"Would you like 3M of garlic bread with that?"

18/04/16 12:06:24

Windows Patch.

23/03/16 14:21:40

"Just in time, I was running low."

19/03/16 20:04:35

"Why are you writing such filth?"
- "It's a tattoo for some dumb westener that wants me to create his name in Chinese Astrology, so I thought this will put a smile on the face of the guy taking his order next time he visits a Chinese restaurant."

04/03/15 21:15:36

"..and tomorrow I will finish my masterpiece."
-"Don't forget to bring enough grey."

17/06/18 20:18:34

Two-legged circus dog rudely pulled off stage.

30/07/17 20:04:55

The Cadillac Jellyfish waits for a Hatchback to pass underneath to swallow it whole.

19/03/16 21:02:52

Steamboat

04/05/15 12:05:59

Mitsubitchy.

29/04/15 20:03:54

Between a rock and a hard case.

27/11/14 20:00:22

Granacondad.

17/01/14 20:01:43

Don't know why this isn't getting more votes, it's brilliant! --Michael Winner

JFKFC

22/11/13 21:00:17

lol

The day after the farting contest.

07/09/13 8:00:54

Woodshock.

21/08/13 8:35:44

lol

"Oh Jesus Chr.., FENTON!"

14/04/13 12:07:30

They cried till the bitter end.

10/04/13 20:01:49

"hmmhhppfff hhmmpppffff!"

14/02/13 20:03:15

I think he's asking "Has it been pickled." --John Glover

Ron Jeremy in the XXX-Factor.

21/01/13 12:07:54

How to kill a mocking bird.

17/01/13 10:38:42

Some of the contestants at the Ursula Andress competition were a bit disappointing.

20/12/12 12:13:40

Dear miss Jones,

We are sorry to inform you that your son Tony has been killed in action by friendly fire.

He was a brave soldier and photographer.

15/12/12 9:52:00

HAH! If you think Photography is addictive, try Captioneering!

20/08/12 20:00:16

"I'm not itchy, I'm not itchy, I'm not itchy, I'm not itchy."

16/08/12 12:04:08

Zebradley Wiggins.

24/07/12 11:14:52

Chris unleashes Dupe Detector 3.0

14/05/12 20:34:08

"So I killed the angel, what now"?

11/05/12 16:45:20

Justin Bieber has bought a car.

14/04/12 20:05:50

"And Stay Out!"

03/04/12 21:01:55

Cabweazle.

01/04/12 20:38:07

Fenton! Oh Jesus Chr.., FENTON!

24/01/12 14:54:54

...and very..very slowly I moved my head to the left...I turned my head very inconspicuously in it's direction...and "WACK" I grabbed the bastard with my tongue and swallowed it whole!

22/11/11 20:25:44

Mahogranny

06/09/11 11:31:20

Practical exam "suicide bombing" for al Qaeda terrorists

16/06/11 13:26:11

Poop festival

16/05/17 19:08:08

Robokindergartencop.

18/03/16 9:30:12

Fathers for justice. --[anon]

Shedrolet

11/03/16 9:18:02

Trojan Hors d'oeuvres.

20/08/14 20:42:51

creative

"Ok Ok, we'll go to Disney-Land!!"

23/06/14 12:13:40

This picture is so old it's Browning.

14/11/13 9:02:29

The moment Peter saw the light..

12/09/13 20:12:22

24/06/13 8:02:53

16/06/13 16:04:06

01/05/13 20:02:26

25/04/13 15:39:26

24/04/13 20:08:22

24/03/13 12:45:14

06/03/13 12:00:07

"It's called Shampoo sir."

02/03/13 23:10:15

"Of course it takes time to heal, but it certainly annihilated every tapeworm in the system."

12/02/13 20:20:58

"Mum, why do we always go to that German hairdresser?"

11/02/13 8:16:20

Dad had his own ideas about teaching the kids that traffic could be dangerous.

03/01/13 20:11:04

The Nutcracker Suite.

11/12/12 12:00:09

"I think I've invented a new silly walk and would like to apply for a funding to develop it sir."

30/11/12 13:24:45

Holiday on Beerbados.

25/11/12 8:12:19

"Yes this is the one, he'll make a great Pi�ata."

16/08/12 22:29:44

"We're gonna need a bigger toad".

26/06/12 11:20:17

Cat vs Cat™

19/06/12 17:17:38

Siamese Twins see the doctor about constipation.

30/05/12 20:17:43

George was a real Cheapskate.

24/05/12 11:06:31

A Face in the Cloud.

25/04/12 20:00:11

"In the Bling Of An Eye"

02/04/12 20:03:25

"You forgot your lunchbox honey, here catch."

25/02/12 11:33:25

♪ It's a small girl after fall ♪

11/02/12 2:17:14

Big Bad Wolf gave her exactly a 30 seconds head start.

10/02/12 11:14:03

"..and don't forget the tampons dear".

11/01/12 20:00:16

all available on the Nintentoe DS.

17/12/11 22:24:21

Grassy Noel.

13/12/11 11:34:20

Salt Lake Kitty

11/10/11 11:03:57

"Good things come to those who stay"

08/08/11 13:03:37

This little piggy went to the black market.

07/08/11 11:52:08

Unheimlich Manoeuvre

13/10/14 12:35:11

♫ Your sofa away from me, your sofa I just can't see. ♫

25/09/14 20:08:14

When Blackbeard got wind of what the clerks had done with his loot he all made them 'Walk the Bank'.

14/09/14 20:52:37

Stainlesssaurus.

01/04/14 20:29:00

"Not now K2!"

24/02/14 20:09:05

Pistolaroid.

14/11/13 9:03:56

"Sand...I need sand...please help me...sand!"

07/11/13 12:39:40

"Shirley you can't be Syrious?"

11/09/13 20:00:21

Ok girls, get out your 80's shoulder pads.

18/08/13 12:23:06

Stepping Stonehenge.

09/05/13 20:00:10

Squeeze the Day.

10/04/13 20:02:54

"Damn, she took the apple Again..EVE!"

27/03/13 16:39:59

"Hey you, hey, Yeah you! Would you be so kind to throw those jeans behind these bushes?"

26/03/13 20:00:15

Santa Claustrophobia.

14/03/13 12:26:12

"So how are the kids Mr. Jones?"
-"Argh grah grag argh."

09/03/13 12:29:33

Salt Lake Cacti.

23/02/13 12:00:39

Tweedledum & Tweedledumber.

20/02/13 20:00:13

"Let me give you a cluecumber.."

14/02/13 20:02:43

"Honey, are you telling me that all that shit they originally told me about where babies come from is true?!"

06/02/13 20:16:52

"Dad, where do babies come from?""Well son, when a mummy and daddy love each other very much, one day the stork flies to their house and delivers a baby.""Oh. So who fucks the stork, dad?"(old joke) --Paul Woolley

A man's gotta poo, what a man's gotta poo.

05/02/13 12:00:50

"Hi, I'm Stucky...wanna play?"

17/01/13 20:04:08

50 shades of decay.

05/01/13 12:04:22

According to local villagers, there was a big flash and a terrifying scream during the night. When in the morning emergency services arrived after complaints of a power cut they found remnants of bells and a smell of burned wood.

27/12/12 8:22:25

"come on honey; you are not letting a 500 pound fine, 1500 pound car damage and 700 pound fence damage while being uninsured ruin your Christmas spirit are you?"

24/12/12 12:12:40

2 seconds later the barrel broke, water hit the electricity pole and the whole scene lit up like a Christmas tree.

24/12/12 9:20:10

"Listen son, if mummy asks if I smoked again just say it was a salmon.'

20/12/12 20:17:35

The long and winding road.

20/12/12 8:38:17

..."Hocus Pocus!" ........
..."Taka de Miurzi!"......
..."Solo Fami Quado!".....
..."Wingardium Leviosa!"..

"Oh f#ck it...HELP,HELP!!!"

08/12/12 20:09:15

cowabanga!

01/12/12 12:01:12

The origins of whipped cream.

01/12/12 12:00:17

"We are not about to send American boys nine or ten thousand miles away from home to do what Asian boys ought to be doing for themselves."
--Lyndon Johnson, Oct. 1964

29/11/12 8:27:34

Dyslectic Darryl loves Moonwallking.

27/11/12 20:20:00

"Excuse me sir, about 2 weeks ago my husband and a friend went on a biking trip. I've been looking all over for them since. Have you seen them?"

24/11/12 20:08:08

Re cycling. --John Glover

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

21/11/12 12:07:48

Not exactly the blowjob Simon had expected..

20/11/12 21:00:53

"Hello, I'd like to order 250kg of venison please."

15/11/12 20:14:24

I hope for him there's light at the end of the funnel.

13/11/12 8:45:01

"leave the cutlery, I'll get you a straw".

10/11/12 20:09:38

This is what happens when you play FIFA 12 on Windows 98.

28/08/12 21:02:22

Zorro arrested for excessive violence.

24/07/12 11:13:53

I thought Caption.me only allowed photos not videos..

05/07/12 18:13:56

"No, not penalties again..."

27/06/12 20:09:08

"But honey, I can't explain.."

16/04/12 20:39:39

Doris wished she could turn the tables.

20/02/12 21:23:21

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

07/02/12 13:12:15

Whaling Wall.

27/01/12 11:26:45

"Why Eric? I told you I wanted a red one".

20/01/12 11:17:05

Clark Kentucky Fried Chicken

06/12/11 20:26:47

Pete felt light in the head.

06/12/11 11:10:52

"Who said women can't park"?

01/12/11 11:12:05

Walk, walk, walk your boat, gently down the street.

27/11/11 11:22:02

The Blouse Brothers.

26/11/11 14:13:16

Genieous

24/11/11 11:33:48

The Evolution of Cam.

19/11/11 11:01:09

SuperTed!

10/11/11 12:07:16

Ok sarge I think I have a clear shot, you want me to take him out?

29/10/11 11:03:09

"Give me an A, Give me an S, Give me an S, Give me an H, Give me an O, Give me an L, Give me an E! What's that spelled"?
"Uhm Jack.. I think the cheerleaders are trying to tell you something".

29/10/11 11:00:14

more captions

last comments (total: 62)

All hands on Dick?

Zac Kramer

23/05/13
8:06pm

comment on caption:
"All hands on Dick!" [Guideaux]

haha thanks!

(caption author)

23/05/13
8:32pm

comment on caption:
"All hands on Dick!" [Guideaux]

Just want to say that this is the funniest caption I've seen this week- just brilliant.

Michael Winner

15/10/13
11:18pm

comment on caption:
"Anyone seen my other oven glove?" [Guideaux]

Cheers Michael. smilie face

(caption author)

16/10/13
1:07am

comment on caption:
"Anyone seen my other oven glove?" [Guideaux]

Don't know why this isn't getting more votes, it's brilliant!

Michael Winner

18/01/14
8:22pm

comment on caption:
Granacondad. [Guideaux]

Thanks Michael! I didn't want to put in "-" or capitals which might have been more noticeable.

(caption author)

19/01/14
8:03am

comment on caption:
Granacondad. [Guideaux]

I laughed at the thought of ♫ I'm sixty and I know it ♫

Boycie

03/03/15
2:10pm

comment on caption:

♫ I'm sexy and I know it. ♫ [Guideaux]

Better!

Guideaux

06/03/15
2:48pm

comment on caption:

♫ I'm sexy and I know it. ♫ [Guideaux]

Fathers for justice.

[anon]

18/03/16
9:46am

comment on caption:
Robokindergartencop. [Guideaux]

Perfect caption!

larry G.

05/09/16
8:23pm

comment on caption:
Typical case of blue balls. [Guideaux]

more comments

Guideaux

best latest latest and best captions

last comments (total: 62)

captions