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Guideaux .
signed up: 9 years, 7 months ago
profile viewed: 0 time(s) this week
caption quota: 24
votes given since joining: 5,747
super vote quota: 3
Autodidact Dutchy. Amsterdam
Age: 42
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captions
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22/03/20 12:31:59 |
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Read an article the other day about the Spanish flu epidemic and it was saying that although Britain, France and Germany all had this flu before Spain, it got called Spanish flu because it appeared in the uncensored Spanish press whilst the other ... --Glyn Evans
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"You should get that checked". 23/10/20 7:31:02 |
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I much prefer "checked" - "chequered" would not carry the same pun. --Molly R
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19/07/12 19:00:14 |
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Brilliance! --Chris Beach
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01/10/11 10:01:17 |
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12/02/13 20:18:27 |
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21/08/12 19:01:20 |
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16/08/12 10:03:31 |
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29/03/20 19:42:46 |
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06/03/16 21:29:26 |
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06/05/15 11:22:19 |
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05/08/14 19:04:34 |
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"Anyone seen my other oven glove?" 14/10/13 19:25:53 |
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Just want to say that this is the funniest caption I've seen this week- just brilliant. --Michael Winner
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Know your customer. Lesson 54: 03/01/13 11:02:07 |
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"Felix you forgot your lunchbox!" 24/11/12 20:03:20 |
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"I put in plenty of change, now what's keeping the bloody coke bottle?!" 06/01/14 12:41:48 |
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♫ Say a boot's upside your head, say a boot's upside your head. ♫ 24/07/12 19:00:14 |
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"The only thing I need now are 6000 hamsters". 27/06/12 15:25:19 |
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"Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep" 01/11/12 12:32:01 |
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"I hope my grandson will be happy when he opens his birthday card and the 10.000 pound cheque". 01/07/12 10:16:09 |
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07/02/12 20:02:52 |
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Now that's a weird fortune cookie! 22/11/13 21:03:08 |
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26/08/13 19:13:54 |
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Ha ha ha ha hailing a cab, hailing a cab. 23/11/12 8:37:00 |
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"It was heavenly, but please stop calling my dad's name when climaxing." 11/11/12 20:05:58 |
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14/05/12 17:24:16 |
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15/11/11 20:01:49 |
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If you move 3 of them you can make 4 triangles.. 20/03/13 20:06:09 |
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29/12/12 20:00:14 |
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"Are you sure the bomb threat was part of the play?" 23/02/12 12:54:03 |
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19/02/12 20:08:34 |
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01/02/12 20:00:11 |
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Gordon Ramsay opens new restaurant in Korea. 24/01/12 11:13:08 |
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♪ Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeeeeee! ♪ 18/01/12 11:00:08 |
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"That's very nice honey, now back to your webcam." 03/03/16 20:14:21 |
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24/12/13 9:06:28 |
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05/06/13 8:21:25 |
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17/04/13 19:09:34 |
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26/03/13 8:05:16 |
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30/03/12 12:17:44 |
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06/11/11 12:24:07 |
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06/10/11 10:00:24 |
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21/08/11 10:13:51 |
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08/03/20 12:11:28 |
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22/02/20 16:47:55 |
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13/05/16 19:58:46 |
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♫ I'm singing in the Rhine. ♫ 22/03/16 9:49:06 |
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07/03/16 13:14:34 |
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"Don't worry dad, we took the hamster out before we lit the matches." 26/05/14 11:29:40 |
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"Sounds like the clutch has gone Pete." 25/09/13 12:03:42 |
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07/05/13 11:20:39 |
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24/12/12 12:04:35 |
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22/12/12 20:40:52 |
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19/04/12 19:33:39 |
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24/02/12 11:14:37 |
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07/12/11 11:01:51 |
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30/09/11 10:15:17 |
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Look George, Lovebite 1985 left you a message.. 15/09/11 10:48:01 |
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21/03/20 10:51:06 |
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Rumanians believed to be behind mysterious disappearances of houses from African villages. 27/10/13 12:00:44 |
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23/05/13 19:04:21 |
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All hands on Dick? --Zac Kramer
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14/01/13 20:21:57 |
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14/01/13 20:11:01 |
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23/11/12 20:01:02 |
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"No time to explain, just say we found it like this when we got here" 11/09/12 20:35:51 |
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14/01/12 12:27:42 |
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18/11/11 11:13:28 |
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Are you a leg or a breast man? 20/09/11 17:28:08 |
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Let me teach you about the long arm of the law constable Harris. 18/08/11 10:29:27 |
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14/01/14 21:06:43 |
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03/08/13 12:59:45 |
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02/04/13 19:07:16 |
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29/07/12 19:03:50 |
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Dave suffered from chronic nightstares. 15/07/12 19:00:25 |
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Lord Sugar: "you're all fired!" 08/06/12 10:29:04 |
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After a divorce, the woman often takes the house. 20/02/12 11:06:33 |
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24/01/12 20:00:06 |
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Doris was even late for her own funeral. 09/11/11 20:00:10 |
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Chris adding some embedded marketing on Caption.me 07/09/11 10:52:58 |
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17/07/11 10:28:07 |
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08/03/20 10:53:35 |
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"Would you like 3M of garlic bread with that?" 18/04/16 11:06:24 |
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23/03/16 14:21:40 |
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"Just in time, I was running low." 19/03/16 20:04:35 |
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04/03/15 21:15:36 |
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Red scarf and antlers.... you know what that means Rufus...LEFT OVERS!! 25/12/20 8:29:17 |
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"And here we are live as the wife is giving birth.." 20/12/20 8:08:01 |
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"He's been with us for 4 years now, attacking everything and everyone; we call him Trump". 08/11/20 8:29:21 |
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06/09/20 13:35:30 |
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06/06/20 11:39:35 |
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How many village heads does it take to change a lightbulb? 16/02/20 20:45:23 |
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"..and tomorrow I will finish my masterpiece." 17/06/18 19:18:34 |
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Two-legged circus dog rudely pulled off stage. 30/07/17 19:04:55 |
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The Cadillac Jellyfish waits for a Hatchback to pass underneath to swallow it whole. 19/03/16 21:02:52 |
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04/05/15 11:05:59 |
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29/04/15 19:03:54 |
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Between a rock and a hard case. 27/11/14 20:00:22 |
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17/01/14 20:01:43 |
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Don't know why this isn't getting more votes, it's brilliant! --Michael Winner
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22/11/13 21:00:17 |
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The day after the farting contest. 07/09/13 7:00:54 |
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21/08/13 7:35:44 |
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14/04/13 11:07:30 |
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They cried till the bitter end. 10/04/13 19:01:49 |
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14/02/13 20:03:15 |
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I think he's asking "Has it been pickled." --John Glover
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21/01/13 12:07:54 |
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17/01/13 10:38:42 |
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Some of the contestants at the Ursula Andress competition were a bit disappointing. 20/12/12 12:13:40 |
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15/12/12 9:52:00 |
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HAH! If you think Photography is addictive, try Captioneering! 20/08/12 19:00:16 |
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"I'm not itchy, I'm not itchy, I'm not itchy, I'm not itchy." 16/08/12 11:04:08 |
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24/07/12 10:14:52 |
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Chris unleashes Dupe Detector 3.0 14/05/12 19:34:08 |
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"So I killed the angel, what now"? 11/05/12 15:45:20 |
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Justin Bieber has bought a car. 14/04/12 19:05:50 |
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03/04/12 20:01:55 |
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01/04/12 19:38:07 |
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Fenton! Oh Jesus Chr.., FENTON! 24/01/12 14:54:54 |
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22/11/11 20:25:44 |
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06/09/11 10:31:20 |
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Practical exam "suicide bombing" for al Qaeda terrorists 16/06/11 12:26:11 |
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♫ Won't you take me to Monkeytown? ♫ 03/10/20 11:16:43 |
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It must be difficult trying to 'lip sync' with a cigarette in your mouth. --Karyn Harrison
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18/05/20 19:16:05 |
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Eddy Redmane? --Karyn Harrison
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05/04/20 19:02:18 |
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16/05/17 18:08:08 |
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18/03/16 9:30:12 |
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Fathers for justice. --[anon]
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11/03/16 9:18:02 |
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20/08/14 19:42:51 |
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"Ok Ok, we'll go to Disney-Land!!" 23/06/14 11:13:40 |
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This picture is so old it's Browning. 14/11/13 9:02:29 |
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The moment Peter saw the light.. 12/09/13 19:12:22 |
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24/06/13 7:02:53 |
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16/06/13 15:04:06 |
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01/05/13 19:02:26 |
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25/04/13 14:39:26 |
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24/04/13 19:08:22 |
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24/03/13 12:45:14 |
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06/03/13 12:00:07 |
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02/03/13 23:10:15 |
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"Of course it takes time to heal, but it certainly annihilated every tapeworm in the system." 12/02/13 20:20:58 |
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"Mum, why do we always go to that German hairdresser?" 11/02/13 8:16:20 |
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Dad had his own ideas about teaching the kids that traffic could be dangerous. 03/01/13 20:11:04 |
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11/12/12 12:00:09 |
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"I think I've invented a new silly walk and would like to apply for a funding to develop it sir." 30/11/12 13:24:45 |
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25/11/12 8:12:19 |
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"Yes this is the one, he'll make a great Piñata." 16/08/12 21:29:44 |
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"We're gonna need a bigger toad". 26/06/12 10:20:17 |
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19/06/12 16:17:38 |
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Siamese Twins see the doctor about constipation. 30/05/12 19:17:43 |
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24/05/12 10:06:31 |
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25/04/12 19:00:11 |
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02/04/12 19:03:25 |
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"You forgot your lunchbox honey, here catch." 25/02/12 11:33:25 |
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♪ It's a small girl after fall ♪ 11/02/12 2:17:14 |
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Big Bad Wolf gave her exactly a 30 seconds head start. 10/02/12 11:14:03 |
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"..and don't forget the tampons dear". 11/01/12 20:00:16 |
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all available on the Nintentoe DS. 17/12/11 22:24:21 |
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13/12/11 11:34:20 |
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11/10/11 10:03:57 |
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"Good things come to those who stay" 08/08/11 12:03:37 |
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This little piggy went to the black market. 07/08/11 10:52:08 |
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13/10/14 11:35:11 |
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♫ Your sofa away from me, your sofa I just can't see. ♫ 25/09/14 19:08:14 |
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When Blackbeard got wind of what the clerks had done with his loot he all made them 'Walk the Bank'. 14/09/14 19:52:37 |
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01/04/14 19:29:00 |
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24/02/14 20:09:05 |
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14/11/13 9:03:56 |
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"Sand...I need sand...please help me...sand!" 07/11/13 12:39:40 |
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"Shirley you can't be Syrious?" 11/09/13 19:00:21 |
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Ok girls, get out your 80's shoulder pads. 18/08/13 11:23:06 |
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09/05/13 19:00:10 |
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10/04/13 19:02:54 |
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"Damn, she took the apple Again..EVE!" 27/03/13 16:39:59 |
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"Hey you, hey, Yeah you! Would you be so kind to throw those jeans behind these bushes?" 26/03/13 20:00:15 |
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14/03/13 12:26:12 |
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"So how are the kids Mr. Jones?" 09/03/13 12:29:33 |
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23/02/13 12:00:39 |
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20/02/13 20:00:13 |
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"Let me give you a cluecumber.." 14/02/13 20:02:43 |
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06/02/13 20:16:52 |
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"Dad, where do babies come from?""Well son, when a mummy and daddy love each other very much, one day the stork flies to their house and delivers a baby.""Oh. So who fucks the stork, dad?"(old joke) --Paul Woolley
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A man's gotta poo, what a man's gotta poo. 05/02/13 12:00:50 |
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"Hi, I'm Stucky...wanna play?" 17/01/13 20:04:08 |
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05/01/13 12:04:22 |
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27/12/12 8:22:25 |
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24/12/12 12:12:40 |
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24/12/12 9:20:10 |
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"Listen son, if mummy asks if I smoked again just say it was a salmon.' 20/12/12 20:17:35 |
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20/12/12 8:38:17 |
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08/12/12 20:09:15 |
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01/12/12 12:01:12 |
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01/12/12 12:00:17 |
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29/11/12 8:27:34 |
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Dyslectic Darryl loves Moonwallking. 27/11/12 20:20:00 |
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24/11/12 20:08:08 |
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Re cycling. --John Glover
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One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. 21/11/12 12:07:48 |
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Not exactly the blowjob Simon had expected.. 20/11/12 21:00:53 |
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"Hello, I'd like to order 250kg of venison please." 15/11/12 20:14:24 |
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I hope for him there's light at the end of the funnel. 13/11/12 8:45:01 |
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"leave the cutlery, I'll get you a straw". 10/11/12 20:09:38 |
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This is what happens when you play FIFA 12 on Windows 98. 28/08/12 20:02:22 |
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Zorro arrested for excessive violence. 24/07/12 10:13:53 |
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I thought Caption.me only allowed photos not videos.. 05/07/12 17:13:56 |
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more captions
Read an article the other day about the Spanish flu epidemic and it was saying that although Britain, France and Germany all had this flu before Spain, it got called Spanish flu because it appeared in the uncensored Spanish press whilst the other countries had censored their press to keep up morale during WWI. The funniest thing of all though is the fact that as the virus spread across the world, it wasn't known as "Spanish" flu everywhere - xenophobia meant that it kept changing source country. Don't like another country? Associate their national identity with this disease etc. I wonder if there's examples of politicians using national identities to label pollution and nuclear fall out?
8:28am
comment on caption:
Made in China [Guideaux .]
If we were approaching a general election, The Daily Mail would be calling it Corbynvirus.
8:33am
comment on caption:
Made in China [Guideaux .]
The race to find a cure.
2:08pm
comment on caption:
Made in China [Guideaux .]
I like how you spelled bleach. Very descriptive. You could just imagine someone drinking it and saying "BLEECH!". (*But don't do this at home.)
9:19pm
comment on caption:
"Can I have another pint of bleech please?" [Guideaux .]
If that came on to the market, it'd be terrible if someone got them mixed up
4:30pm
comment on caption:
Anal-B® [Guideaux .]
Eddy Redmane?
8:04pm
comment on caption:
"Here's Eddy!" [Guideaux .]
It must be difficult trying to 'lip sync' with a cigarette in your mouth.
4:07pm
comment on caption:
♫ Won't you take me to Monkeytown? ♫ [Guideaux .]
They can pull their lips pretty far up and show their gums.
4:55pm
comment on caption:
♫ Won't you take me to Monkeytown? ♫ [Guideaux .]
Maybe: "chequered" would've been better, but already got a vote...
7:51am
comment on caption:
"You should get that checked". [Guideaux .]
I much prefer "checked" - "chequered" would not carry the same pun.
8:10am
comment on caption:
"You should get that checked". [Guideaux .]