super vote: ( left this week)
Nice legs, shame about the faith.
12/02/13 12:46:36
They met each other on the web.
15/01/13 20:42:18
I think she's about to toe it away.
09/04/16 11:33:31
....place casserole in oven, stand on top shelf.
02/05/13 9:03:09
Honey, have you checked on the twins?
06/10/15 8:41:27
We only wear them for special equations.
10/11/13 20:36:45
The mourning after the flight before.
10/07/12 11:22:22
Why do they keep putting money down that air vent, wondered Charlie.
27/06/14 10:39:22
The last night of the prams.
07/02/13 9:22:29
The coast road was showing signs of old age.
01/02/13 12:08:46
Incontinence
05/11/11 20:27:52
Meetin' two veg.
27/07/15 7:06:13
No win, no fee, no photocopier, no table, no....
28/10/13 15:04:52
Its the only place he can find Comfort.
03/05/13 11:03:44
That guy out there's been waving at me for ages, but 'll be darned if I know him.
11/03/13 9:58:52
"Is that your dog?""That depends. Are those your balls?"
22/09/22 14:41:16
Yep. Brakes on the tractor are fixed.
04/03/22 20:31:58
75% off.
26/12/21 21:09:19
I guess it'll soon be time to wave you goodbye.
16/07/14 11:34:21
Stan was telling one of his cornea jokes.
25/04/14 20:52:14
28/06/12 10:46:47
Whenever he sat down his drink went flat.
18/11/11 20:03:18
No you fool, I wanted a PRAWN Salad.
21/11/13 20:02:02
"We'd better get a hire van""What we really need mate, is a higher bridge"
04/02/13 9:25:10
Not as happy as they seam.
26/09/12 11:45:14
Ken could not escape from his nightmayor
06/05/12 19:00:39
Now we've lost the lead.
01/10/21 19:17:25
That's two off the bucket list in one go.
31/08/18 20:08:26
Honey! I don't think this is the right lid for the blender.
07/09/15 13:47:04
Bin Trouble in Little Diner.
18/05/20 12:40:22
Damn it! Its the screw in type.
14/09/15 8:39:25
He just plays on anon anon anon...
03/06/15 20:50:38
After being cooped up all day Rex was now ready for a slash.
23/02/15 11:30:57
John and Colin survived but Frank, unfortunately, had screwed a tin of boot polish onto his mask.
03/09/14 20:18:22
She has one of those faces that's hard to read.
25/05/14 11:49:26
What clown left that here?
25/10/13 15:45:33
Costa Del Skol
25/11/12 10:22:48
The walls have smears.
09/07/12 19:00:24
Exorcise
10/12/11 11:59:41
She exercised religiously.
10/12/11 11:42:05
She decided to skip prayers.
10/12/11 11:26:14
Cafe Rouge
27/10/11 19:01:49
If things got out of hand they could call in the Gherkin Regiment.
24/06/14 11:39:22
These were full length jeans when I started cutting the grass.
17/06/14 19:53:49
Its a bust!
12/07/13 19:24:07
I've barely spent a penny on it.
02/06/13 12:09:47
The colour of bunny
05/04/13 19:01:27
🎵 If you wish upon a bra 🎵
18/02/13 1:51:52
This looks like a booby trap.
13/02/13 20:01:47
Like most continental beers it lacks body.
21/01/13 11:29:45
It goes from 0 - 60 okay but to get to no. 78 you have to wind it up again.
20/12/12 9:57:12
..and here's your table sir. Now just wait while I sort you out a stool.
10/11/12 23:45:52
It came free with the arm chair.
02/09/12 11:13:47
We were making a fortune until we put that sign up and then people just stopped coming.
14/10/21 19:01:10
I was hoping to leave active service but it appears the army have me over a barrel.
10/05/20 22:34:36
No I'm sorry Bobo we still can't go to the park.
30/04/20 11:31:06
I bet you spend ages at the filling station.
10/06/19 19:13:33
It was nice of that Mr Cosby to buy us all a drink.
31/12/15 16:43:41
How he hated the knights in that bed.
23/11/15 21:28:12
They were playing the right notes but clearly the wrong pitch.
02/06/15 8:09:07
Jerry and the Pacemaker
03/03/15 9:31:51
I said it was a mistake to put them so close to the bats.
12/09/22 10:00:36
Only stools and horses
28/04/20 9:18:51
The roast of Christmas future.
20/12/15 23:53:11
All dressed up and nowhere to glow.
26/01/15 20:15:55
Herbie rides again.
13/12/14 15:09:37
I hear his poor wife is going round with a bucket.
12/11/13 20:21:15
He cost me 20 Guinness.
02/05/13 11:20:09
Mamma said if I get lost, to go and stand by something big.
22/04/13 12:13:08
Did I see you girls on Thongs of Praise?
12/02/13 13:01:52
Visiting the tattoo artist twice a week its no wonder he's overdrawn.
07/01/13 21:07:02
"No way will you get me in that banger"
31/07/12 19:00:15
Preparing the national dish.
03/07/12 10:09:51
Cunnilinguists
27/01/12 17:15:51
Mummy these balls don't bounce
19/08/22 19:29:30
This is agony! Have you finished painting yet?
21/07/22 19:44:41
I warned them not to spin the roundabout so fast.
06/07/22 23:18:56
Take it quickly I'm needed in the next bay.
03/12/21 12:14:39
"....and who's going to water it?""Don't worry, your Dad will soon do that."
23/11/21 12:08:38
Another glass of wine and then back to my place for a toad in the hole.
29/10/21 11:02:45
The street girls of Grimsby get ready to welcome the returning trawlers.
05/05/20 19:02:18
When she gets down I don't want to be the one to tell her it was just a drill.
21/04/20 11:19:55
Ok 5 more minutes but then it's the penguin's turn.
11/08/18 21:56:40
Dukes of haphazard.
16/06/16 19:16:01
My God! You've had a conversion.
10/09/15 10:57:47
Bollocks Colin! I only came this evening because you said the performers were dressed in stockings and nothing else.
26/02/15 20:57:04
He said he'd beheading off to the pub.
17/12/13 20:27:55
The food is great. But the litter outside the shop....
01/10/13 9:42:50
I only asked for side burns.
17/06/13 20:53:38
"Does it come with a catholitic converter?"
14/03/13 21:20:48
It was all a bit much to take in.
22/02/13 21:21:14
Too much smoking had made him a little horse.
22/02/13 13:14:44
"Did you screw her?""No, I just used strong adhesive"
17/01/13 9:25:16
A Farewell to Arms.
08/01/13 20:00:12
Capital punishment.
21/12/12 9:33:23
T J Hooker
16/12/12 13:07:24
It has little face value.
12/12/12 20:12:11
They were a dog fearing couple.
18/11/12 20:32:36
Hey Steve the smell from this bag of soap powder is making me feel sick. Would you mind holding it for me?
09/08/12 19:09:20
Tip-Toe through the two lips.
17/07/12 19:04:22
139 - 148 129 - 138 119 - 128 109 - 118 99 - 108 89 - 98 79 - 88 69 - 78 59 - 68 49 - 58 39 - 48 29 - 38 19 - 28 9 - 18 1 - 8
Wouldn't pisses down the leg be #1, and shits in the pants #2?
comment on caption: Pisses down the leg 2 shits in the pants 1. [Tosser Wivlov]
Morning dew. And evening dew. And middle-of-the-night dew.
comment on caption: "....and who's going to water it?""Don't worry, your Dad will soon do that." [Tosser Wivlov]
That could be a sign of prostate cancer
"....and who's going to water it?""Don't worry, your Dad will soon dew that."
Same if they ask for a puppy AND a kitty.
comment on caption: I told you. If they ask for a play station, a laptop and a new bycicle, just say yes. It's someone else's problem. [Tosser Wivlov]
Zzz Cars
comment on caption: Z Cars [Tosser Wivlov]
Doesn't this one turn you green enough?
comment on caption: Is there a green alternative? [Tosser Wivlov]
Why do bears always wipe their arse?Pooh sticks
comment on caption: Does a bear shit in the woods?No, he Poohs. [Tosser Wivlov]
There's a Pooh in the woods.
Don't be boring.
comment on caption: I warned them not to spin the roundabout so fast. [Tosser Wivlov]
Wouldn't pisses down the leg be #1, and shits in the pants #2?
9:29pm
comment on caption:
Pisses down the leg 2 shits in the pants 1. [Tosser Wivlov]
Morning dew. And evening dew. And middle-of-the-night dew.
2:01pm
comment on caption:
"....and who's going to water it?"
"Don't worry, your Dad will soon do that." [Tosser Wivlov]
That could be a sign of prostate cancer
5:56pm
comment on caption:
"....and who's going to water it?"
"Don't worry, your Dad will soon do that." [Tosser Wivlov]
"....and who's going to water it?"
"Don't worry, your Dad will soon dew that."
8:05pm
comment on caption:
"....and who's going to water it?"
"Don't worry, your Dad will soon do that." [Tosser Wivlov]
Same if they ask for a puppy AND a kitty.
10:28pm
comment on caption:
I told you. If they ask for a play station, a laptop and a new bycicle, just say yes. It's someone else's problem. [Tosser Wivlov]
Zzz Cars
11:06pm
comment on caption:
Z Cars [Tosser Wivlov]
Doesn't this one turn you green enough?
2:07pm
comment on caption:
Is there a green alternative? [Tosser Wivlov]
Why do bears always wipe their arse?
Pooh sticks
12:43pm
comment on caption:
Does a bear shit in the woods?
No, he Poohs. [Tosser Wivlov]
There's a Pooh in the woods.
9:10pm
comment on caption:
Does a bear shit in the woods?
No, he Poohs. [Tosser Wivlov]
Don't be boring.
8:36pm
comment on caption:
I warned them not to spin the roundabout so fast. [Tosser Wivlov]