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	Snow patrol 12/03/23 20:00:17	14

	Soul trader 08/04/23 8:00:10	13

	As Paul hopped to the toilet he realised he'd have been better off if he'd put his prosthetic leg on first 20/03/23 8:00:54	13

	Are the batteries free of charge? 31/01/23 12:32:20	13

	High tea 05/04/23 20:00:11	12

	The Only Way Is Zzyzx 27/01/23 8:00:20	1 12

	This is what happens when you wait until the cat's ready to get off your lap before you get up.... 17/01/23 12:06:05	12

	clever Looks like he's running out of Ayr 08/01/23 12:23:38	12

	Pizza Excess 04/01/23 20:38:45	12

	At least there wouldn't be a problem getting concrete evidence of the damage for the insurance claim 16/04/23 20:00:42	10

	Cops and lobbers 12/03/23 20:20:37	10

	Mary Poppins made a good nanny - she liked to be in charge 07/04/23 20:46:32	9

	The traffic lights have turned ember 14/03/23 20:00:19	9

	Piste-achio ice cream 16/01/23 12:00:29, edited: 16/01/23 12:04:46	9

	Nodding off and Big Ears 07/04/23 8:01:27	8

	Prickly eat 06/04/23 20:14:14	8

	Stop in the name of the thaw! 12/03/23 20:04:47	8

	The Three of Spades 26/02/23 12:43:14	8

	Mary Poppins was shocked by the weather 07/04/23 20:00:36	7

	Stair of the dog 13/03/23 8:00:21	7

	She's got a chip on her shoulder 26/02/23 8:09:12	7

	clever It's amazing how long Boris's hair is when it's properly combed instead of sticking up in the air in forty different directions 02/02/23 20:02:33	2 7

	He'll throw a good paunch 18/05/23 13:06:54	6

	Bang bang kitty kitty bang bang 22/04/23 20:21:32	6

	I think there's been a misunderstanding. I said we were looking forward to having a grand Parents Evening 15/02/23 20:31:06, edited: 15/02/23 20:31:29	6

	....and your internet search history 14/02/23 9:56:31	6

	That's a good way to keep your diet on track 03/02/23 12:52:59	6

	lol Johnny, I think Granny's waited long enough for you to play your turn at Scrabble 15/01/23 12:14:24	6

	A cautionary rail 23/04/23 12:00:18	5

	Dramphibian 13/04/23 8:19:00	5

	I wouldn't sit in that position - everyone will be able to see if you're a true Scotsman! 13/04/23 8:02:09	3 5
"Aye, there's naething worn under the kilt - it's a' in full working order." --Molly R
	That's a great mugshot 05/04/23 20:00:35, edited: 05/04/23 20:02:04	5

	Upturn Girl 03/04/23 20:22:23	5

	The painters were also mathematicians. They were very fond of the 6 x table 29/03/23 12:12:35, edited: 29/03/23 12:12:45	1 5

	The council's new gardener had misheard when he was asked to mow the local terrain 25/03/23 8:00:58	5

	A murder of crows 24/03/23 12:04:21	1 5

	Bud Not So Light 28/02/23 20:00:39	5

	Reports of woman who stole mirror from seaside residence. Police are looking into it 21/02/23 21:24:46	5

	Will you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you marry me? 02/02/23 12:47:22	5

	COVID restrictions are starting to get a bit crazy... 01/02/23 8:00:11	5

	Council employees were less than impressed with the snowploughing equipment they were given after the budget cuts 08/01/23 8:06:45	5

	Jack was in for a shock when he realised that 'Gentle Ben' was actually the deer behind him and not the ferocious bear he'd just climbed on top of 14/04/23 8:01:03, edited: 14/04/23 8:03:29	4

	Shiverpool FC 10/04/23 8:29:03	4

	Spag bag 30/03/23 15:26:16	4

	These fit like a bream 08/03/23 12:59:04	4

	What a unique horn 06/03/23 21:37:29	4

	They score a C minus for this design 21/02/23 9:47:59	4

	That's a bit cucumbersome 18/02/23 17:06:57	4

	Antcartica 10/02/23 13:56:38	4

	Crocodile Drunkee 04/02/23 20:00:33	4

	Crocodile beers 04/02/23 20:00:15	4

	Tiramisloo 28/01/23 20:30:48	4

	Dad, what are you doing here checking up on me at work? I've had enough of you being a helicopter parent! 24/01/23 8:01:06	4

	The book deal didn't work out then... 22/01/23 20:00:29	4

	Banana splat 15/01/23 20:00:17	4

	Eggs Been-nicked 05/01/23 12:29:33	4

	All I want for Christmas is brew 26/12/22 9:29:20	4

	There's that comedian, Grasp a Carrot 25/12/22 13:42:48, edited: 25/12/22 13:43:03	4

	Well that's one way to win at hide and seek on the train 13/05/23 10:37:41	3

	The Scot didn't care how long they'd been married, he just wanted his independence 08/05/23 8:11:25	3

	Antisocial media 03/05/23 10:39:56	3

	Right, that's it. I've been waiting long enough for my dinner 22/04/23 20:20:07, edited: 22/04/23 20:20:17	3

	When Bill's wife said Iceland was a good place to go if you wanted a barbecue, she meant the shop 12/04/23 20:11:33, edited: 12/04/23 20:12:32	3

	I might be a while getting there, bear with me 11/04/23 8:00:33	3

	The production team quickly realised that using a real shark in the latest Jaws film probably wasn't the best idea 10/04/23 12:13:02	3

	Scarycrow 24/03/23 12:05:47	3

	Not exactly Pitch Perfect 23/03/23 8:00:11	3

	Paul's mash up of Scooter and Rihanna didn't quite hit the mark 13/03/23 13:19:01	3

	That dog must have been desperate for a pee - he's flooded the field! 04/03/23 13:01:17	3

	This woman must be very attractive - lots of guys are frying her up 27/02/23 12:29:05	3

	She's burger 19/02/23 20:00:19	3

	Paddling drool 09/02/23 8:10:26	3

	They're my ex girlfriend's nose rings. Quite appropriate given what a cow she was 02/02/23 10:23:19	3

	The NHS is going to the wall 01/02/23 12:27:21	3

	The guys had expected burgers and kebabs when they were invited along to a barber queue. 29/01/23 12:14:38	3

	That was certainly an explosive number 2 18/01/23 8:11:40	3

	Think outside the box 20/12/22 0:14:24	3

	Strawberry meals forever 21/05/23 18:35:56	2

	Lumber in the Jungle 20/05/23 9:32:34	2

	Peach Snap 23/04/23 11:21:56	2

	HopScotch 13/04/23 8:00:33, edited: 13/04/23 8:05:15	2

	Looking at Google Maps it says...bear to my right 11/04/23 8:02:56	2

	Sleeping Beardy 07/04/23 12:16:24	2

	This still doesn't answer the question WHY? 28/03/23 9:32:19	2

	He went by the name of Busky Pink 21/03/23 13:23:36	2

	Numpty Numpty sat on a wall... 21/03/23 8:02:31, edited: 21/03/23 8:02:38	2

	The crash happened after the driver tried to overtake a bike, electric tricycle and a penny farthing who were hogging the road 20/03/23 13:43:12, edited: 20/03/23 13:43:33	2

	This work of art will end up in the Loovre 19/03/23 8:03:31	2

	Deerkat 15/03/23 8:00:18, edited: 15/03/23 8:07:22	2

	🎵 world in emotion.. 12/03/23 12:34:19	2

	...and here we have Sid the Spelling Squirrel who helps children learn their letters. Today's letter is 'n', which Sid is helpfully spelling out with his tail 11/03/23 22:01:21, edited: 11/03/23 22:02:01	2

	He always was a bit of a carse 11/03/23 12:13:40, edited: 11/03/23 12:13:49	2

	Wetherspooning Heights 06/03/23 16:26:57	2

	Iron Made 'Em 26/02/23 12:41:32	2

	Hyuncinth 22/02/23 16:38:16	2

	Now look at how daft you look running into the sea with an ironing board 21/02/23 21:26:25	2

	Elizabeth Taylor's former spouses travel to her latest wedding 16/02/23 20:09:59	2

	Stuffing his face 14/02/23 20:11:42, edited: 14/02/23 20:59:08	2

	Jeez, that'll teach me to have one too many. I've really gone off track trying to get back to my house 13/02/23 20:11:39	2

	Bike-on Frise 12/02/23 8:42:49	2

more captions

last comments (total: 9)

I doth my cap to you!

[anon]

27/01/23
8:02am

comment on caption:
The Only Way Is Zzyzx [Jo]

Hahaha. I love this but have no supervotes.

[anon]

02/02/23
8:12pm

comment on caption:
It's amazing how long Boris's hair is when it's properly combed instead of sticking up in the air in forty different directions [Jo]

very Good

Julia Kinsey

02/02/23
9:43pm

comment on caption:
It's amazing how long Boris's hair is when it's properly combed instead of sticking up in the air in forty different directions [Jo]

Same theme as 12:00:15 and 12:00:25.

[anon]

24/03/23
12:16pm

comment on caption:
A murder of crows [Jo]

Looks more live div vision.

KimJong Pun

01/04/23
10:48am

comment on caption:
The painters were also mathematicians. They were very fond of the 6 x table [Jo]

No, it's a Beef Steerokee Silveramoo ... [I'll see myself out]

James Lennox

04/04/23
12:47pm

comment on caption:
Is that car a Daemoo? [Jo]

"Aye, there's naething worn under the kilt - it's a' in full working order."

Molly R

13/04/23
8:44am

comment on caption:
I wouldn't sit in that position - everyone will be able to see if you're a true Scotsman! [Jo]

That's dreadful news, Molly. We can't use the old ereptile dysfunction jokes.

[anon]

13/04/23
8:48am

comment on caption:
I wouldn't sit in that position - everyone will be able to see if you're a true Scotsman! [Jo]

Where did the "true Scotsman" come from? Were the first commandoes Scots because Scots supposedly go commando?

Carry On Up The Khyber has the "Devils in Skirts" where going commando and flashing are weaponized. In Brave heart, they do this also by baiting the English army by mock flashing kilt strewn cocks and arses.

Is it seen as uncivilised or the mark of a true barbarian not to wear underwear? Or is it because some folk are afraid of genitalia? 🤔

It's funny as well as this only applies to men and not women. If a woman wears a kilt, do you think anyone would ask her if she's a "true Scotswoman"? 🤔

I'm sure plenty of women as do men go commando and nobody knows any different or gives a toss

Glyn Evans

14/04/23
10:57am

comment on caption:
I wouldn't sit in that position - everyone will be able to see if you're a true Scotsman! [Jo]