Click a photo to add a caption.
“Think that again and I’ll punch you in the face.”
17/12/22 12:00:14
You have a friend request
16/12/22 12:05:58
''Bloody typical. You go to the toilet and when you get back some wanker has taken your seat.''
11/12/22 20:08:25, edited: 11/12/22 20:16:31
''Dave usually sits on cans in the kitchen. He doesn't like the draught in the living room.''
10/12/22 8:18:26, edited: 10/12/22 8:21:30
Kneady child
06/12/22 20:05:13
"The pearly gates are open, Your Majesty," said St. Peter. "But you may wish to let go of that leash first."[Happy to delete if anyone thinks this is 'too soon']
03/12/22 8:21:53, edited: 03/12/22 8:39:07
.. and his arch enemy The Piddler.
01/12/22 8:03:31
There’s some fin about Mary.
30/11/22 22:30:51
"Tell the firing squad I'm almost ready."
29/11/22 20:09:18
Another stock photo
27/11/22 8:14:23
“Do you have everything you need madam, or would you like me to get you a shovel?”
26/11/22 8:41:34
“Not another one Boris!”
21/11/22 20:00:14
20/11/22 20:01:05, edited: 03/12/22 14:07:15
Who says euthanasia can't be fun?
17/11/22 8:03:23
''Have you got the pot ready? I've spotted Matt Hancock.''
10/11/22 8:11:59
This was the problem with the Mahunti-gathi tribe of deepest Peru. Half of them were hunters. Half of them were gatherers. None of them were mechanics.
08/11/22 12:50:33, edited: 08/11/22 12:56:06
07/11/22 20:01:04, edited: 03/12/22 13:49:43
Begpuss
07/11/22 9:01:18
If you thought getting on the wrong side of The Mafia was bad, try upsetting The Entomology Society.
06/11/22 21:23:44
"Now we have the x-rays we can clearly see there is no change."
06/11/22 8:38:34
Forest Dump
04/11/22 20:01:45
Shallottery
28/10/22 7:03:34
“This service is suspended until further notice”
25/10/22 19:16:50
For Children 6 to 666
19/10/22 19:07:37
Evidence mounts that Dalmatians are being given steroids.
17/10/22 11:07:50
Dave liked to have his Cholestrol checked regularly.
17/10/22 9:26:23
Child support
15/10/22 7:15:26
''I don't like The Simpsons, dad. What's on the other side?''
09/10/22 11:32:25
"I shouldn't have got a cat and mouse tattooed on my privates""Why's that?""It's Itchy and Scratchy"
09/10/22 11:17:40, edited: 09/10/22 11:18:15
Star Wars fans preferred C3PO to R2D2 in general.
07/10/22 7:17:10
This original design of an Airbus didn’t take off.
02/10/22 7:12:04
''Can we try somewhere else? I've got a bad feeling about this care home.''
25/09/22 7:52:30
I see the problem. No balls.
21/09/22 7:21:44
Fountain of youth
19/09/22 19:01:49
''It must be a Michelin restaurant.''
19/09/22 7:06:13
"How did you get on with the hare spray?"
12/09/22 11:05:52
"Some tool locked me out."
11/09/22 19:00:34
Is there a plot?
11/09/22 17:05:38
Just take the picture here, we can crop it later.
10/09/22 7:16:09, edited: 10/09/22 7:20:19
Bone appetit!
07/09/22 19:00:25
Everyone in town remembers the year that Evel Knievel was Mayor
06/09/22 11:08:31
The Uk looks back enviously on the wealth and prosperity of the 70s
01/09/22 19:09:42
Sex on the beech
31/08/22 11:45:27
The Pharaoh Rocher is served.
28/08/22 11:32:54
Anyone up for a game of five ass side?
26/08/22 19:22:29
I can smell some Thing burning.
22/08/22 7:47:22
The Roman Empire Strikes Back
21/08/22 7:00:11, edited: 24/08/22 10:22:26
"Can you lift me up please Daddy?" "Sorry kid, I can't help you ATM."
19/08/22 7:23:26
Say It with flowers.
17/08/22 19:01:32
Try not to call everyone 'Dave'.
12/08/22 19:16:20
Sat in the waiting room Dave was absolutely bricking it. He'd heard the giant sandpaper tongue lacerations were excruciating but he really wanted rid of his tattoos.
07/08/22 7:34:04
"Sorry, must dash to the throne. Bit of a slack bladder."
05/08/22 7:04:35
"Do you like my Judge wig?""Yes, Mallard"
04/08/22 19:04:48, edited: 04/08/22 19:05:35
Ian the Iguana was very upset after seeing this.
01/08/22 7:01:25
There’s nothing worse than being hung over at work.
29/07/22 7:00:22
Shabbey Road.
21/07/22 10:14:25
"Let's get biscuits done!"
20/07/22 7:00:51
"It's the only way I can stop it crossing the road."
15/07/22 11:03:18
♪ Veal meat again... ♪
03/07/22 7:14:36
"What? Can't a clown have a holiday?"
01/07/22 19:00:08
I was putting on my clothes this morning but I Gotham mixed up.
26/06/22 7:11:46
♫ ♬ ♩ There is... a mouse...in New Orleans...♫ ♬ ♩
25/06/22 14:34:29
"This one goes out to all my friends at Social Services!"
21/06/22 11:00:24
Tea Rex
21/06/22 7:00:26
''I don't think you're going to make it as a haidresser, Dave, but I do have a guy here from the village who needs his cottage thatching.''
18/06/22 7:25:21
"Shame, I was hoping for some rumpy pumpy."
15/06/22 11:00:12
"Pity, I just fancied a shag."
14/06/22 7:00:09
"This is where Willie Johnson would sit and quickly - yet considerately - vote for us all." *Sob*
13/06/22 11:01:31
Shave the children.
13/06/22 7:46:23
"That's it, Su. You say 'back off, my lamppost', cock your leg and spray. Great job!"
05/06/22 19:53:20
''And that's how you work out your caption quota.''
04/06/22 7:13:51
Looks like a sett up to me.
03/06/22 7:00:13
Christ! Has anyone carried out a whisk assessment?
17/05/22 11:06:35
Children should be seen and not hurled.
16/05/22 19:00:07
ALARM CLOCK RINGS''It's twelve o’clock, luv. Can you keep yourself going for a few minutes while I go and post a caption?''
14/05/22 11:00:55
"Honey, there's a problem with Rex's new glass eye.""Really? Don't tell me they got the colour wrong..."
08/05/22 12:53:13
"Bugger, there was no need for him to hit me, all I said was 'After you mate."
04/05/22 20:18:36
''Are prostate problems wrecking your confidence when urinating? Do your mates call you The Dribbler? If so, try attaching our new superjet nozzle and you too can pee like a twenty-year-old again. Walk down memory lane and piss over the five-barred gate at the end of it. Send for the superjet nozzle now and get free delivery: Only £299.00 while stocks last. This offer is not available in any shop.''
18/04/22 7:30:22
"Can I sit next to you?""No, these seats are occupied."
16/04/22 7:24:14
Some dog Millionaires
06/04/22 7:44:56
"Did you drop Tilly at nursery like I asked you, Steve?""...Drop, yes; like you asked me, not so much."
23/03/22 20:05:42
"The captain of Russia's women's water polo team is here to see you sir. She wants to know why you think they shouldn't be allowed to compete this year."
23/03/22 12:18:29
An Ale of Two Titties
15/03/22 20:15:01
"On the plus side, my hemorrhoids are gone."
12/03/22 12:00:56
Minor Inconvenience
08/03/22 12:02:56
Yep. Brakes on the tractor are fixed.
04/03/22 20:31:58
That was the agreement - I act out "I'm a little teapot" and you do "Humpty Dumpty"
24/02/22 12:30:11
"Now, kids, what happens if we don't look both ways before we cross?""KAPOW! SPLAT!"
13/02/22 12:08:22
It seems cruel now, but back in the olden days, gingers were made to carry orange balloons, so that bullies could spot them from a distance.
08/02/22 8:09:55
The bike test is really harsh in India. 8 examiners accompany you on the day.
02/02/22 12:08:25
Titanic 2: The Reunion
01/02/22 8:02:45
The plight of the bumblebee
25/01/22 8:00:50
Quick you go that way and I’ll go this way.What good will that do?It will tell him to fuck off.
24/01/22 12:47:28
The dad arrested for taking his child out on an electric scooter was later released with no charge.
21/01/22 20:27:46
"Are you still glad that you refused to pay for a £5000 wedding dress, Daddy?"
14/01/22 20:10:11
He must be a keeper
11/01/22 8:37:43
Watts new pussycat.
10/01/22 20:09:01
75% off.
26/12/21 21:09:19
Merde to measure
17/12/21 13:16:16
I'm not giving you my waste measurements.
17/12/21 12:07:23
clever 
