super vote: ( left this week)
This photo is more than three days old, so captioning is over
Merde to measure
17/12/21 13:16:16
I'm not giving you my waste measurements.
17/12/21 12:07:23
"How do you know the sizes?""I'm keeping a log."
17/12/21 12:16:53
"Oh, cut the crap!"
17/12/21 12:01:20
It helps to have a tape worm.
17/12/21 12:00:58
My poo that day was 3 inches in diameter and 6.5 inches long so there wasn’t much in it. But it was still a nightmare trying to push it back in.
17/12/21 12:07:46
A bad workman blames his stools.
17/12/21 12:00:37
Tape measures available at reception.
17/12/21 15:55:38
"Hello, Dave Plumbing Services, how may I help?""Hi Dave, some idiot has ignored our sign and blocked the toilet. Can you fix it?""Oh I don't know, sounds like a big job."
17/12/21 12:20:10
My wife got sacked for enforcing this wrong because I have been telling her how big 6 inches is for years.
17/12/21 12:19:36
"No big shits allowed? that rules out Piers Morgan then."
17/12/21 12:12:07
"No problem", said Craig after having 8 pints of Carlsberg and a Lamb Rogan Josh.
17/12/21 12:06:35
PS: For your convenience, please find a knife under the sink.
17/12/21 12:00:47
Bog Standards
17/12/21 20:26:36
Paddy didn’t know half inches. He did know turds.
17/12/21 17:15:26
Hmm. A little off-putting, but I will carry on under turd.
17/12/21 13:30:21
The best you can hope for is a Straight Flush.
17/12/21 13:11:30
"Are you taking the piss?"
17/12/21 12:36:52
"So...I'll flush my tampon."
Those measurements certainly aren't bog standard.
17/12/21 12:15:29
Turd world problems.
17/12/21 12:00:57
"What is this? Some kind of Dictatorshit?"
17/12/21 12:00:53
Well, that's a bit anal.
17/12/21 12:00:09
email us
