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ALARM CLOCK RINGS  Its twelve o’clock, luv. Can you keep yourself going for a few minutes while I go and post a caption?
ALARM CLOCK RINGS  Its twelve o’clock, luv. Can you keep yourself going for a few minutes while I go and post a caption? photo | portfolio
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 20723Dave Bryan

ALARM CLOCK RINGS

''It's twelve o’clock, luv. Can you keep yourself going for a few minutes while I go and post a caption?''

Sat 12:00:55

 1
Been there, done that. --James Lennox
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 17570Vanessa the Guesser

"Wait - I'm not on the pill!"

"Don't worry - we're both Middle Aged."

Sat 12:25:56

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 9537Vivvy En

"Oh yeah, I love a king-size."
"Thanks, babe."
"I meant the bed."

Sat 15:04:14

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 13807Mr Dome

Sex at work can be fun, unless it's in the windows of John Lewis

Sat 12:10:32

 
Glad You Remember Vote score: 2079Glad You Remember

"Keep still until the man's finished painting us."
"But you're squashing my-"
"Very still. Veeery still."

Sat 12:14:46

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 2478Karen Oakenfull

Thomas holds Mary tightly to stop her sliding off the bed.

Sat 12:08:51

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1817alexandra ball

Oh God, is it your birthday again??

Sat 12:01:36

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 28243Ian Skelding

“Not tonight Joseph.”
“You’ve said that every night since I’ve known you, you can’t be a virgin forever Mary.”

Sat 12:00:57

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 7698Greg Curtis

"Is that a painter? THERE...in the WINDOW..."

Sat 12:53:24

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 20723Dave Bryan

''Is it true you were once a knight?''

''Yes, but since I've been taking that potion I can manage it three or four times before daybreak.''

Sat 12:44:09

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 5512Stu Dent

Henry the Filth

Sat 12:37:52

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 5512Stu Dent

Tentpole Tudor

Sat 12:35:57

 
stoneface1 Vote score: 1170stoneface1

"Stop Dave! Everyone's staring."

"Well it was your idea of getting rid of the French windows."

Sat 12:28:19

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 9654Hercules Rockefeller

Right before they both discovered the decapitated horse head.

Sat 12:12:17

 
Al Overy Vote score: 11693Al Overy

"How much is that doggy in the window?"

"£100 an hour. Weird stuff is extra."

Sat 12:03:23

 
John  Glover Vote score: 22468John Glover

Tit elation.

Sat 15:20:37

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 35526Tony Edwards

Eurovision Snog Contest

Sat 12:34:10

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 35526Tony Edwards

Window undressing

Sat 12:33:14

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 23073Stephen Bean

"Sorry darling, I just can't seem to get aroused. Can you play the sound of a supervote again please?"

Nod to 12:00:55

Sat 12:24:23

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 13807Mr Dome

This is not what Dave meant when he asked the naked witch to give him a little head

Sat 12:14:23

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 2478Karen Oakenfull

Henry still fancies Mary, despite her left tit getting caught in the mangle.

Sat 12:12:09

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 11778Chris Keegan

I know the feeling mate, to win this week I've also got to seriously come from behind...

Sat 12:02:27

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 5093Scrijjy Doo

I wish I could quilt you.

Sun 0:37:48

 
John  Glover Vote score: 22468John Glover

Marie always was a bit of a handful.

Sat 18:20:23

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 13061Neil Mackenzie

The artist didn’t enjoy much success but he later went on to become known for his wood grain effect on front doors.

Sat 13:18:07

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 5093Scrijjy Doo

John and Yoko

Sat 13:11:29

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 5093Scrijjy Doo

Under Cover Brother

Sat 13:06:33

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 11778Chris Keegan

I love a bit of medieval porn, just as well really the wife's not getting any younger.

Sat 12:38:50

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 20723Dave Bryan

''Why didn't you bring the hot tub dolphin with you?''

Sat 12:21:36

 
Al Overy Vote score: 11693Al Overy

Misunderstood historical jobs #21 - The Bedbugger

"My left tit's very itchy, please check it for lice!"

Sat 12:19:02

 
Glad You Remember Vote score: 2079Glad You Remember

"I think I'll wear my hound's tooth corduroys today."
"Let's... talk about it."

Sat 12:18:00

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 9646Glyn Evans

"Dear? Dear, come here quick!? I've opened the drapes and you should see what the neighbours are up to outside!?"

Sat 12:16:55

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 9646Glyn Evans

"Phew! Those courtiers have left us. They've seen the marriage has been consummated for the Royal court..."

"Erm...I'm not sure that's written in Law..."

Sat 12:08:32

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 9654Hercules Rockefeller

"Not now, dear. It's my time of the month."

Sat 12:01:37

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 11778Chris Keegan

"Is it a Turner?"
- "No, she obviously isn't"

Sat 12:01:23

 
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