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Neil Mackenzie		lol He is medically exempt from wearing a mask. 21/12/21 12:00:09	13

Stephen Bean		creative Boiler suit 16/12/21 20:02:05	13

Al Overy		"George, you b*stard, you said we'd have a fab foursome!" 14/12/21 8:00:29	13

The Wolf		The old 'fall asleep at a party and then your friends stick a tampon in your gob trick'. That's fair enough, but Dave didn't have any friends, and there was no party. 11/12/21 8:02:23	1 13
...but there was always caption.me --Glyn Evans
Dave Bryan		lol ''How now, brown cow?'' 10/12/21 8:04:36	13

The Wolf		Thank God for that. 08/12/21 8:00:12	13

Scrijjy Doo		She's ready for aural sex. 07/12/21 20:05:41	13

The Wolf		lol "That poor blind man." 07/12/21 12:00:08	1 13
It's fine, the gravestone is also in braille. --Michael Winner
Dave Bryan		''This is for getting stuck up the wrong chimney last night.'' 06/12/21 8:00:34	13

Ian Skelding		Quack Cousteau 04/12/21 20:07:06	13

Al Overy		CS - Shall we have some wine? JC - Sure. Waiter? Two waters, please. 02/12/21 8:06:56	13

The Wolf		lol When your attempt at a silent fart takes a sinister twist. 28/11/21 12:08:03	2 13
Time for a shart exit? --Karyn Harrison
Mark England		"He's a keeper" 17/11/21 12:08:35	13

Crunchy Chords
	lol 16/11/21 20:00:20		13

Troompa Loompa		lol "No sir, that's the umbilical cord, not his penis." 15/11/21 13:32:29	1 13
Well, at least he's through circumcising it. --Willie Johnson
Crunchy Chords		Paternity test kits sold separately. 14/11/21 20:01:34	13

Neil Mackenzie		It wasn’t easy getting on Caption me, I had to fight the Cat. 12/11/21 7:26:50	1 13
If you think I look mauled, you should see the state of the cat --Glyn Evans
Troompa Loompa		"But Daddy, you said it was a peach." 09/11/21 12:01:29	1 13
It's a raspberry now. --Willie Johnson
Crunchy Chords
	08/11/21 20:00:14		1 13
Well at least his supply chain for wine is still good. --Willie Johnson
Al Overy		"...and THAT, I think you'll find, will have relieved all the pressure in your lumbar vertebrae." 06/11/21 19:08:31	13

Stephen Bean		"When possible please make a ewe-turn." 03/11/21 20:08:00	13

Chris Keegan		'Park in my space again and I shall personally make sure you go to hell' 01/11/21 20:03:45	13

Mark Wilson		I'm sure we've been past that building 4 times now, thought Ann 01/11/21 8:20:46	3 13
She'd seen that erection before. --James Lennox
Al Overy		Sharon was a sucker for a guy on a motorbike. 01/11/21 8:00:09	13

James Lennox		lol "Hi, Steve from Surrey, enjoys long walks in the park, looking for a man who likes rubber, spikes, and barking like a dog?" "No, I'm Bill Rockwell, photographer." "Oh, forget I said anything." 29/10/21 22:37:16	13

Dave Bryan		''I'm afraid there's been a big mistake. Leopold is not buried here. It must be some other fucker.'' 25/10/21 11:03:24	1 13
It's probably some Kunt or Koch --Glyn Evans
Chris Halliwell		Can't stop, I've got a pressing engagement. 25/10/21 7:02:43	13

Vanessa the Guesser		clever Warren Buffet 23/10/21 7:00:18	13

Chris Keegan		"He's not even mine, he just walked in one day and occupied the lounge, then the hall, the kitchen and now upstairs. It's like he wants to take the place over" 22/10/21 19:01:19	13

Stephen Bean		Look Who's Torquing 22/10/21 11:00:10	13

Tony Edwards		No social distancing, no face masks, someone is bound to catch something. 17/10/21 11:29:05	13

Stephen Bean		There was never a dull moment watching Alex Higgins play snooker. 17/10/21 11:05:34	13

Chris Keegan		Dave suffers from parking sons. 15/10/21 7:45:15	1 13
That's parking son. Only one is left. --Willie Johnson
Tosser Wivlov		We were making a fortune until we put that sign up and then people just stopped coming. 14/10/21 19:01:10	1 13

C CaMel		“It’s expensive but we all have to make sacrifices.” 12/10/21 11:05:29	13

Stephen Bean		I suppose there are worse places to shit yourself. 10/10/21 19:00:21	13

Stephen Bean		"Lets see, have I got everything? Oxygen cylinder - check Diving mask - check Wheelchair - check Wetsuit - check Cage with 2 inch diameter reinforced steel bars - .... oh crap." 10/10/21 11:00:55	13

Stephen Bean		"Sometimes it's nice to sit back, relax and go with the floe." 30/09/21 19:00:06	3 13
Just saw your comment, Cap Auth. Thanks for your encouragement, but there's no need for a duplicate, yours is great. :^) Crunchy --Crunchy Chords
Lucky Elperro		lol "When I die, don't waste your money on expensive funerals". "Okay" 28/09/21 12:44:01	1 13
"Oh, and you said that you wanted to go to Dignitas? About that..." --Michael Winner
Lucky Elperro		Charing Cross hospital amputation department confirm problems with their incinerator. 28/09/21 11:16:45	13

Lucky Elperro		"How many times Have I told you not to take the short cut past the magnet factory" 27/09/21 19:30:40	13

Dot Old		"I'll just marry him." thought young Melania. 26/09/21 19:01:46	13

John Glover		"Sorry Steve, I'm just not feeling myself today." 18/09/21 21:28:28	13

Michael Winner		lol This is why most delivery drivers in India have furry mice dangling from their windscreen. 15/09/21 11:09:15	13

Crunchy Chords
	14/09/21 19:00:07		1 13
Better act quickly before the subject gets dropped --Glyn Evans
Dave Bryan		''Look, dad, a flying saucer is coming our way.'' ''Makes a change. Your mother usually throws the teapot at me.'' 10/09/21 7:21:58	13

Stephen Bean		Early Burning Centre 09/09/21 11:17:51	13

Al Overy		clever Boris Johnson's son has already started talking - much to the confusion of the family dog. 07/09/21 11:01:42	13

Al Overy		creative "Nope. Talcum powder again." For ex-sniffer dog, Max, old habits died hard. 07/09/21 11:00:55	13

Al Overy		"For goodness sake, Tracy! Just because something's on sale in Ann Summers, doesn't mean you have to buy it!" 01/09/21 7:00:11	3 13
Personally I thought this caption would have been more funnier without the Ann Summers reference? --Nina Dutton
Troompa Loompa		lol Prick with a fork. 29/08/21 19:29:31	13

Dan Nicholls		These Spot the Difference competitions are getting harder and harder. 26/08/21 8:06:44	13

Al Overy		Toilet humour 25/08/21 7:00:44	13

Vanessa the Guesser		"I blame your father. He's a useless tosser." (Nod to all pancake references) 24/08/21 20:05:36	3 13
Sorry Cap Auth, just my sick sense of humour. I got the intended joke, but was suggesting it would work just as well without the pancake reference. Somebody with an equally disturbed mind might understand why... --James Lennox
The Wolf		lol Tourists were left disappointed today during the Queen's birthday celebrations after palace officials were forced to improvise due to a pilot being told to self isolate. 22/08/21 19:37:43	13

The Wolf		The Red Arrows might be impressive, but they've got nothing on a Seagull that's just spotted a dropped chip. 22/08/21 19:33:03	1 13
Unfortunately for all on board, that dropped chip was inside the fighter jet. --Willie Johnson
Crunchy Chords
	19/08/21 19:04:21		1 13
Shallow we get out? --Willie Johnson
Charles Gilbert		clever Murder at dawn. 17/08/21 19:00:57	2 13
Good caption, it's something to crow about. --Willie Johnson
Neil Mackenzie		creative Don’t worry Dad, Picasso couldn’t draw either but he convinced everyone he could. 15/08/21 19:08:49	2 13
The funny thing is, this pic is kind of representative of Picasso's work. He'd mastered oil painting by the age of 8, and produced some great realist works by 15. Then he started tending towards the avant-garde, which led to the cubism and surre... --James Lennox
Dave Bryan		''I am f-cking smiling.'' 15/08/21 7:09:57	13

Troompa Loompa		"C'mon you useless remote. Put it on bloody BBC1. We're missing the start of Songs of Praise." 13/08/21 11:11:16	13

James Lennox		"No parking space again! I'm going to have a word with those clowns next door." 10/08/21 19:09:57	13

Ian Skelding		Bognor Regis: After 11 years the last Chilean miner finally resurfaces. 09/08/21 11:28:46	13

Mark England		lol "See, they're too dangerous. I ain't letting them on" shouted Noah 05/08/21 19:32:07	1 13
Love this. Makes me think of the Roger McGough poem 'Bad Day at the Ark'. --Karyn Harrison
Al Overy		Toy Storey 05/08/21 11:06:15	13

Mark Wilson		creative A skunkoodle, so that's a cross between a poodle and a .... argh my eyes! 03/08/21 19:50:48	13

James Lennox		creative This joyous day was squawked about for years at the local seagull colony. 01/08/21 19:54:49	13

Stephen Bean		♪ Just another prick in the wall ♪ 01/08/21 11:00:08	13

Tony S		lol Even his blow up doll mocks him about how big her last owner was. 29/07/21 11:14:14	13

The Wolf		"Sorry mate. I know you're grounded for two weeks but locking the cat flap during that storm was bloody hilarious." 27/07/21 19:12:29	13

James Lennox		Don't do it. It's false advertising. 22/07/21 7:01:33	13

Scrijjy Doo		That's one way to pick a winner. 21/07/21 19:31:35	13

Mark Wilson		"I wanted to win the goldfish" 20/07/21 7:16:21	13

James Lennox		"I SAID, YOUR LIPSTICK IS ON WONKY! Oh, I give up, she's obviously deaf as a post." 17/07/21 7:13:05	13

The Wolf		creative "Ladies and gentlemen this is your Captain speaking. The old biddy has finally put the engine in the right place and we are now on route to our destination. Sorry about the delay" 12/07/21 11:10:44	13

Troompa Loompa		Taking your dog to your work is not recommended when you're a living statue. 08/07/21 7:06:28	13

Stephen Bean		"I'm suffering from irritable vowel syndrome." 07/07/21 19:00:08	3 13
Irritable instead of unusual would get my vote. --Troompa Loompa
Dan Nicholls		A young Angler Merkel 06/07/21 11:04:04	13

Al Overy		Grafeeti 06/07/21 7:00:11	13

Stephen Bean		Babe in arms 05/07/21 7:00:06	13

Stephen Bean		Defecake 03/07/21 19:00:06	13

Dave Bryan		clever ''At least I'll have no problems hanging his shit on the trees.'' 03/07/21 11:28:17	13

Dan Nicholls		That's funny, it tasted fowl enough. 03/07/21 7:14:50	13

John Glover		lol "Now imagine you are riding a beautiful motorbike, through a lush green meadow.Poppies and buttercups are opening to display the glories of nature. A sparkling stream is accommodating several heron as the sun reflects off the .... 02/07/21 19:38:38	13

Al Overy		He's chlorinated, he's genetically modified and pumped full of hormones but, thanks to a new US trade deal, this chicken only costs 15p. Hooray! 02/07/21 12:44:35	13

C CaMel		Post Mortem 01/07/21 12:55:44	13

Al Overy		"MOSES, YOU IDIOT!" sigh "You just can't get the staff." 30/06/21 19:02:38	13

Al Overy		This attempt to sneak in another cat photo is prosthetic. 30/06/21 11:00:34	13

C CaMel		"Grandad was in the army but he never talked about it." 24/06/21 7:14:27	13

Al Overy		"Oh my goodness, Gary, he's only gone and blown it!" 22/06/21 19:01:33	13

Karyn Harrison		Chuck Ã l'orange 21/06/21 11:33:57	13

Tony S		"Who is that leaving with the village bike?" 15/06/21 19:04:34	13

Stephen Bean		There are lots of dumbos on the roads nowadays. 15/06/21 11:18:37	13

The Wolf		🎵 Moon River 🎵 14/06/21 19:00:06	1 13
â™ª Moon River wider than a mile... We're after the same rainbow's end.... â™ª --Willie Johnson
Stephen Bean		That's a monumental throw. 13/06/21 7:00:39	13

Stephen Bean		lol clever "Hey John, Candy and Melanie are our air stewardesses today. Time to set to auto pilot and invite them into our cock-pit." "It's a good job their husbands in air traffic control don't know what they get up to." 12/06/21 19:00:14	13

Al Overy		When you rely far too heavily on caption.me for your income. 11/06/21 19:00:10	3 13
Didn't realise you were Scottish Glyn --Mr Dome
Mark England		Trump, card 06/06/21 12:06:00	13

John Glover		clever / 03/06/21 12:28:04	5 13
I think it shows a slanted viewpoint myself. Nothing like slashing through all the crap and getting right to the point. --Willie Johnson
John Beith		The Queen picks another winner at Ascot. 02/06/21 11:13:07	13

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