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"I wanted to win the goldfish"
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Mark Wilson Vote score: 3467Mark Wilson

"I wanted to win the goldfish"

20/07/21 8:16:21

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13282The Wolf

Breaking News. The Met Office has issued the first UK extreme heat warning. People are advised to stay cool, close curtains during the day, open windows at night and avoid wearing bear outfits when taking the bins out.

20/07/21 9:48:19

 
James Lennox Vote score: 8976James Lennox

Picnics are all fun and games until somebody spikes the punch.

20/07/21 8:00:13

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3467Mark Wilson

Jet pack run out of gas, looks like I won't be saving the day after all

20/07/21 8:14:39

 1
Oh yes, you will save the day. Here's a calendar to mark, that I just found in the trash. --Willie Johnson
John Beith Vote score: 262John Beith

It was hard enough being a binman without having to wear a stupid bear costume as well.

20/07/21 9:48:58

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24907Michael Winner

"Sadly, that was the last-ever episode of 'Paddington'."

20/07/21 9:46:20

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15838Dan Nicholls

They've cut down all the woods, where else am I supppsed to go?

20/07/21 9:13:56

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8539Hercules Rockefeller

Teddy Ruxbin

20/07/21 8:31:10

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 121Anthony Smith

"I'm not used to this heat" (sob)
"I checked the bins and they're all empty" (sob)

20/07/21 11:20:37

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21542Troompa Loompa

Dusty Bin and his girlfriend had a great day out at the funfair.

20/07/21 10:13:57

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24907Michael Winner

Bin-A-Bear Workshop.

20/07/21 9:06:32

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15817Dave Bryan

''Life's tough but I suppose I'll have to grin and BEAR it.''

''Are you recycling rubbish again?'' - Anon

20/07/21 8:11:30

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6851Al Overy

A bear with a sore head.

20/07/21 8:00:17

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21842John Glover

Down in the dumps.

20/07/21 12:58:54

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21842John Glover

"Gosh, all this heat has made my willy really shrink."

20/07/21 12:53:21

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8098Vivvy En

Steiff of the Dump

20/07/21 11:40:40

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2908GeeDee

What ever you do, dont go into the woods today!

20/07/21 11:16:30

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2961Willie Johnson

He's bin depressed.

20/07/21 11:01:21

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 17962Stephen Bean

Goldilocks didn't like all her birthday presents.

20/07/21 9:38:47

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15838Dan Nicholls

Next on Channel 5, The rise and fall of the Teletubbies.

20/07/21 9:16:31

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15838Dan Nicholls

"Rover has done another one".
"Urgh, put it outside in the pooh bin".

20/07/21 9:15:05

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24907Michael Winner

Some people find it offensive, but I think that this new 'Steiff' fancy dress collection service is a smart move by Coop Funerals.

20/07/21 9:08:23

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12094Mr Dome

I still can't get over the size of Bungle's erection

20/07/21 8:46:17

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12094Mr Dome

Down and out in Bearverley Hills

20/07/21 8:44:57

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8098Vivvy En

Being smarter than the average teddy bear Yogi was hoping for a lift home with the binmen

20/07/21 8:32:11

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15817Dave Bryan

StuporTed

20/07/21 8:15:24

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8297Glyn Evans

The night after the bender after Children in Need

20/07/21 8:05:32

 
Nina Dutton Vote score: 638Nina Dutton

"Bungle tell me now! What have you done with Zippy?"

20/07/21 8:05:05

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8539Hercules Rockefeller

Wasted

20/07/21 8:01:21

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6851Al Overy

A bear bum

20/07/21 8:00:28

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 990Ellen Duncalf

I know it’s hard to see but we are going to have to bin and bear it.

20/07/21 8:00:15

 
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