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"No sir, thats the umbilical cord, not his penis."
"No sir, thats the umbilical cord, not his penis." photo | portfolio
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Troompa Loompa Vote score: 22101Troompa Loompa

"No sir, that's the umbilical cord, not his penis."

15/11/21 13:32:29

 1
Well, at least he's through circumcising it. --Willie Johnson
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3994Mark Wilson

Finally photographic proof that Man Flu is worse than giving birth

15/11/21 14:16:48

 1
I had Man Flu when our second daughter was born, and the midwife spent more time looking after me than my wife. Yeah, I'm never going to be allowed to forget it either. --James Lennox
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17974Dave Bryan

''Right up until the last moment Dave was still expecting the stork to arrive.''

15/11/21 12:03:37

 
The Wolf Vote score: 14217The Wolf

"Come on Dave, pull yourself together. Call yourself a midwife?"

15/11/21 12:06:19

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 4327Scrijjy Doo

He wasn't expecting an outie.

15/11/21 13:25:08

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17974Dave Bryan

The very first OnAdventureWithDad

15/11/21 12:27:57

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 20248Stephen Bean

A Womb With a Eewww

15/11/21 12:54:57

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 11184Chris Keegan

Apparently it is just like watching your favourite pub burn down.

15/11/21 12:05:19

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5813Lucky Elperro

The moment you realise why your West Indian neighbour and bestest friend suddenly returned to Jamaica.

15/11/21 16:38:47

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 20248Stephen Bean

"Why did you faint, the delivery hasn't even started yet?"

"I stubbed my toe."

15/11/21 12:46:30

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1512alexandra ball

He got the epidural and she got laughing gas.

15/11/21 14:06:09

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12755Mr Dome

He's literally just found out he's a dad. I can't believe he's being so laid back about it

15/11/21 13:11:44

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3994Mark Wilson

There's always one newbie forensic pathologist that falls for the patient coming back to life joke

15/11/21 12:35:26

 
The Wolf Vote score: 14217The Wolf

"Sir, we know what you've just witnessed can be a traumatic experience but you're gonna have to get used to it. Come on, please hold your half baby / half horse."

15/11/21 12:00:34

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8950Glyn Evans

"You gain one, you lose one. Such is life"

15/11/21 14:47:59

 
C CaMel Vote score: 8047C CaMel

“I told him it was my appendix.”

15/11/21 13:35:04

 
The Wolf Vote score: 14217The Wolf

"YOU CHEATING BITCH, HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME. I knew you'd been having an affair with Phil from Eastenders."

15/11/21 12:36:04

 
The Wolf Vote score: 14217The Wolf

"Mr Jones? Wake up. I'm afraid I have some terrible news. Your wife's fanny looks ridiculous and you will need to invest in a fleshlight....Oh, and your baby is missing a leg."

15/11/21 12:15:01

 
Molly R Vote score: 3185Molly R

"I have to say, Debbie McGee is looking good for her age. But do you think it's time we sewed her head back on now?"

15/11/21 12:00:22

 
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