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Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3831Scrijjy Doo

That's one way to pick a winner.

21/07/21 20:31:35

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25588Ian Skelding

Snortoise

21/07/21 20:03:12

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 17959Stephen Bean

The Tortoise and the Mare

21/07/21 20:00:05

 1
Tortoise loses, by a nose.:^) --Crunchy Chords
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6099Karyn Harrison

The Tortoise and the Mare

21/07/21 20:00:14

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 1021Charles Gilbert

"Oh my God, it's full of stars."

22/07/21 2:02:31

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6849Al Overy

Esio Trot

21/07/21 20:00:22

 1
Lirtson Esroh ni Esio Trot :^) --Crunchy Chords
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25588Ian Skelding

"I told you we shouldn't have held the Norfolk Tortoise Throwing Championships at Fakenham."

21/07/21 20:36:01

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3466Mark Wilson

We called him Vic, as he gets right up your nose

21/07/21 20:30:02

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6099Karyn Harrison

For superior suction buy the new Dyson Animal Cordless vacuum cleaner.

21/07/21 20:19:59

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 990Ellen Duncalf

“I have heard of nasal hare, but not this.”

21/07/21 23:54:49

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8297Glyn Evans

"Tortoise asphyxiates horse, I win"
"Can we just play rock, paper, scissors?"

21/07/21 20:11:28

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 17959Stephen Bean

Found only on the Gallop-agos Islands.

21/07/21 20:01:34

 1
That's so bad it's good. --Dave Bryan
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3466Mark Wilson

"Smells like horse to me"

21/07/21 21:11:44

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21536Troompa Loompa

The Grand Hibernational

21/07/21 21:09:35

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8539Hercules Rockefeller

"I thought you said your tortoise was only feeling a little hoarse."

21/07/21 20:16:50

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6849Al Overy

"Clancey. Clancey. CLANCEY! No use. He's stone deaf."

"That's not his ear you blind bastard!"

21/07/21 20:10:00

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13281The Wolf

"Sir, hello, EXCUSE ME. Stop shoving your Tortoise's head up my horse's nose. How bloody rude of you."

21/07/21 20:04:54

 
James Lennox Vote score: 8974James Lennox

"Cocaine is the drug of choice within the equestrian community, but I'll try anything once."

21/07/21 20:02:43

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1337alexandra ball

Hey, love is love, who's anyone to say it's wrong.

21/07/21 20:01:39

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4886Crunchy Chords

"Ugh. Glad that's done."
"Good girl! You cleaned it so well, next we have some rectal polyps for you."

21/07/21 20:00:33

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13281The Wolf

"Do you mind? Nosy bastard."

21/07/21 20:00:13

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 12004Neil Mackenzie

Ahh Laboured breathing, I’ll take you down the Conservative Club and we’ll soon sort you out.

22/07/21 5:32:17

 
Nina Dutton Vote score: 637Nina Dutton

“Clancy, how the hell did you get lettuce up your nose.”

21/07/21 21:23:02

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34339Tony Edwards

Timmy the tortoise is not against a little brown-nosing to get what he wants.

21/07/21 21:06:06

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24907Michael Winner

"It's not working,", sighed the vet- "we could be here for hours and she's in pain because of her leg. Get the screens and fetch my gun."

21/07/21 20:39:46

 
Tony S Vote score: 2804Tony S

"I had just been hibernating for a few months woke up and popped my head out only to find I had p@ssed off the local gangsters who had left the horses head on my pillow."

21/07/21 20:36:18

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8539Hercules Rockefeller

"Gesundheit!"

21/07/21 20:33:45

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3831Scrijjy Doo

You should see the rabbit hole.

21/07/21 20:33:34

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21536Troompa Loompa

Barbara Woodhouse reincarnated as a tortoise.

21/07/21 20:31:13

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34339Tony Edwards

In the animal kingdom a blow job can take on a completely different meaning.

21/07/21 20:20:46

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 15656Vanessa the Guesser

Meanwhile at the vets:

"Haydock - there's a tortoise stuck up my nose."

"You should have told him no Aintree. I'll give you some Epsom salts."

21/07/21 20:17:19

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 17959Stephen Bean

Why the tortoise face?

21/07/21 20:00:58

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 15656Vanessa the Guesser

Equine Covid testers prefer working from home.

21/07/21 20:00:47

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 17959Stephen Bean

"The vet says it's the most peculiar nasal polyp he's ever seen."

21/07/21 20:00:37

 
Al Overy Vote score: 6849Al Overy

"Here's your birthday gift, Flash. Just don't look in his mouth."

21/07/21 20:00:12

 
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