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"Hey John, Candy and Melanie are our air stewardesses today. Time to set to auto pilot and invite them into our cock-pit."   "Its a good job their husbands in air traffic control dont know what they get up to."
"Hey John, Candy and Melanie are our air stewardesses today. Time to set to auto pilot and invite them into our cock-pit."   "Its a good job their husbands in air traffic control dont know what they get up to." photo | portfolio
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 16873Stephen Bean

"Hey John, Candy and Melanie are our air stewardesses today. Time to set to auto pilot and invite them into our cock-pit."

"It's a good job their husbands in air traffic control don't know what they get up to."

12/06/21 20:00:14

 
Tony S Vote score: 2307Tony S

"Hey Laura you've done your hair differently, and you say I'm not observant. "

12/06/21 20:09:46

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21211Troompa Loompa

For just a small extra charge of €15 per passenger, Ryanair pilots will look where they're going.

12/06/21 20:00:06

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34121Tony Edwards

Not the old 'picture on the windscreen to frighten the new air hostess' routine.

12/06/21 20:58:17

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3228Mark Wilson

"It's okay, we have airbags"

12/06/21 23:06:49

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5952Al Overy

After months grounded due to coronavirus, the pilots were delighted to be back in the air and it's like riding a bike, you never really forg...

12/06/21 20:01:13

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3228Mark Wilson

Smile! as we'll have to identify your bodies through dental records

12/06/21 22:56:26

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25294Ian Skelding

"You two, we need to take evasive action."
"Why, what is it?"
"It's a fast and effective maneuver made intentionally to avoid colliding with another vehicle but that's not important right now."

12/06/21 20:08:33

 1
Airplane! Great stuff. --Willie Johnson
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4774Crunchy Chords

Ryanerror

12/06/21 20:00:07

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5577Kenny Ireland

"We have successfully landed in the Hudson. What could possibly go wrong now?"

Sun 6:07:50

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21211Troompa Loompa

"There's another plane coming right at us? Surely you can't be serious?...."

12/06/21 20:14:48

 1
"And don't call me Shirley... or Sirius." (*Another great line from Airplane!, slightly modified. ) --Willie Johnson
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21211Troompa Loompa

The Plight of the Navigator

12/06/21 20:07:42

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6789Greg Curtis

"At Top Flight, we'll teach you to fly like you've never flown before; literally, like you've never flown before."

12/06/21 22:37:59

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7779Vivvy En

-"PLANE!"
-"Hahaha, yes love, this is a plane."

12/06/21 20:23:04

 
Prakash  Selvam Prakash Selvam

Wright Brothers in wrong direction.

Mon 11:22:56

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5577Kenny Ireland

"Plane? No. Salt and vinegar please".

Sun 0:39:08

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21656John Glover

"Oh come on. Have you never played 'Chicken'"

12/06/21 22:30:50

 
Nina Dutton Vote score: 427Nina Dutton

“We’ve got 50 years experience between us. You couldn’t be in better hands.”

12/06/21 20:42:59

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25294Ian Skelding

Boeing, Boeing ..... gone."

12/06/21 20:37:45

 
Tony S Vote score: 2307Tony S

"I'll show them saying I'm not good enough for the Red Arrows."

12/06/21 20:20:32

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8299Hercules Rockefeller

"This is frequent flyer, Miles & I'm your pilot, Otto."

12/06/21 20:16:45

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8299Hercules Rockefeller

"If this stupid bastard wants to play Chicken then so be it!"

12/06/21 20:04:10

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16873Stephen Bean

I'll never understand the rules of flying.

12/06/21 20:01:02

 1
Same as the rules of cricket, you hit the oncoming object. *(* Or maybe not.) --Willie Johnson
alexandra ball Vote score: 1266alexandra ball

Obviously not plane to see.

12/06/21 22:46:10

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11915Neil Mackenzie

The Pilots were on their break when they should’ve been on their brakes.

12/06/21 22:34:00

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3228Mark Wilson

"The pilots felt better when they realised theirs wasn't the only plane to crash into the sea today"

12/06/21 20:56:29

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34121Tony Edwards

Beware of mile high club pilots!

12/06/21 20:51:40

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21211Troompa Loompa

"Hello and welcome to a new series of Air Crash Investigation."

12/06/21 20:45:29

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34121Tony Edwards

Scareplane!

12/06/21 20:36:51

 
stone face Vote score: 9791stone face

Easydeath

12/06/21 20:27:34

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2798Willie Johnson

"Nice to meet you. Come on in."

12/06/21 20:26:57

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21211Troompa Loompa

Thank you for flying Kamikazakhstan Airlines."

12/06/21 20:23:38

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25294Ian Skelding

Trainee pilots enjoying their crash course.

12/06/21 20:17:44

 
Tony S Vote score: 2307Tony S

It's a well known dogging flight.

12/06/21 20:16:32

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8078Glyn Evans

"Guys, stop fucking about. It's seven years bad luck to crash into a mirror"

12/06/21 20:16:19

 
Mark England Vote score: 18441Mark England

So that's why it's called a cock pit

12/06/21 20:12:44

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11843Mr Dome

And coming the other way is Ray Charles Airlines

12/06/21 20:08:39

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 15362Vanessa the Guesser

"Retard!"

12/06/21 20:03:37

 1
Which one?  --Glyn Evans
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25294Ian Skelding

"Say ... your prayers."

12/06/21 20:02:29

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21211Troompa Loompa

Dumbo Jet

12/06/21 20:01:13

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5952Al Overy

Larry and Bob put one of those window stickers on in an effort to stop other planes crashing into them.

12/06/21 20:00:23

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5952Al Overy

Both air hostesses survived the crash as they were already 'in the brace position'.

12/06/21 20:00:12

 
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