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Cloudia Schiffer
13/10/19 7:08:43
"Oh dear, I have Camel toe again."
10/10/19 19:00:09
"Three times, I've tried to hit that bastard sign with my javelins."
09/10/19 19:46:55
Cereal killers
09/10/19 7:00:32
It's always good to have a carrier handy when you feel sick
03/10/19 11:00:09
🎵 Stuck in the middle with ewes
20/09/19 19:00:44
"The inspiration for it came when I dropped a tomato."
18/09/19 7:13:56
Big Mac and small fry
16/09/19 7:00:04
🎵 Born to be wide... 🎵
14/09/19 7:24:56
"I'm his half brother."
04/09/19 7:09:03
My very first memory....
03/09/19 7:04:53
"Look at that old lady swallowing a fly. Should we avoid her?""Nah, looks like she's chasing a spider now. We should be fine."
02/09/19 7:57:49
🎵 Born tabby wild 🎵
29/08/19 11:36:11
I'll phone tomorrow!
21/08/19 11:27:50
Stiff competition
21/08/19 7:00:10
... word used to give an affirmative response.
19/08/19 12:23:20
Mmm, the recipe needs tweaking just a bit...
18/08/19 7:04:11
She may be Maiden America but the flag was probably maiden China.
28/07/19 11:14:04
"New balls, please."
17/07/19 7:00:07
The ✞ Factor
07/07/19 11:18:55
And pigs might fly....
01/07/19 19:00:05
Counter-terrorist
27/06/19 19:13:18
Not to scale
23/06/19 11:01:48
"To have and to hold."
21/06/19 7:00:34
"I can't see you wearing that."
16/06/19 21:13:13
Right from the start Daniel was destined to be a barman.
11/06/19 11:32:06
Tom Cruise before the CGI and editing.
01/06/19 19:36:13
Wicky Leaks
30/05/19 7:00:10
Testicalls.
19/05/19 7:08:02
An arrow escape.
16/05/19 12:02:00
Mince Piggy
13/05/19 19:19:22
He's a sh*t guitarist, but you should see him playing tennis
04/05/19 14:48:55
IAAF ban South African women's relay team.
03/05/19 19:03:33
The firing squad clearly have a sense of humour.
11/04/19 11:34:28
"I'm a Lesbian, do you have Fanyta?"
06/04/19 19:04:01
Beach trampolines - £5 for 5 minutes. Warning - Do not exceed your time.
06/04/19 8:06:37
Greying mantits
04/04/19 11:04:55
Nanaconda
18/03/19 20:12:58
"My wife has a matching beaver."
18/03/19 12:10:10
Junk male.
16/03/19 15:34:30
Must keep eyes off Sarah's tits. Must keep eyes off Sarah's tits. Must keep eyes off Sarah's tits.
11/03/19 12:43:58
It looks like Jones has scored.
11/03/19 8:06:13
"One way or another Monsieur, you will leave a tip."
05/03/19 12:24:57
Landing strip
04/03/19 20:13:10
27/02/19 20:01:35
"Well Sir, we don't actually need to strip search you, but we do appreciate your eagerness to cooperate."
15/02/19 20:16:18
Well, they aren't going to win a no bell prize.
15/02/19 12:10:26
auf wiedersehen pet
30/01/19 20:42:33
"I'll never get in now, he's doing his bloody captions!"
11/01/19 21:00:26
Tom Tom
11/01/19 12:22:06
Cat-a-pillar
28/12/18 10:34:16
The Garage did say it needed new pads
02/12/18 20:00:24
Salvador Raleigh
25/11/18 8:44:10
Always slice a cucumber before feeding to your tortoise.
23/11/18 21:52:32
Kitty Litter.
21/11/18 8:07:12
"And would Sir like aperitif to go with your meal?"
19/11/18 20:01:18
"I think the hoover bag might be full love."
16/11/18 9:28:54
There's big bucks in the fashion industry.
30/10/18 8:08:30
Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman!
21/10/18 8:57:54
The bong arm of the law.
18/10/18 11:00:13
Staff bullying should not be tolerated
15/10/18 11:00:12
Party pooper
13/10/18 11:00:11
"Well, have I passed?"
11/10/18 19:01:05
Nappy hour
22/09/18 7:42:23
"Jailed for 'drunk driving,' Jack was eager to complete his sentence."
15/09/18 12:18:46
Imad often did some taxi driving on the side.
13/09/18 19:32:25
"I thought you said it was spitting distance "¦"¦"¦"
07/09/18 11:14:23
Primer donnas
06/09/18 11:13:13
"Order what you like boys, Doreen and the triplets are meeting us with the money from that handbag robbery".
04/09/18 12:14:42
Big Macabre meal
27/08/18 8:19:01
''Since taking anabollic steroids, I've had a new Lisa life.''
22/08/18 19:46:45
"By the way, I don't share needles."
15/08/18 11:03:27
Cop a feel
14/08/18 19:11:45
"I don't know how to thank you- one course of acupuncture and the pain is completely gone."
11/08/18 7:40:54
A course of medication
08/08/18 7:19:59
She won't stay unseeded for long.
01/08/18 19:13:06
Next time the Elephants are making love you know not to startle them.
25/07/18 7:08:55
Police have identified a suspect who may have carried out the ram raid on a grab machine at the seaside arcade this weekend.
23/07/18 7:59:32
Once again Gary was keen to illustrate how we are just one tiny part of the galaxy
29/06/18 20:21:07
"...and that's how babies are born."
26/06/18 12:55:12
Fedora the Explorer.
20/06/18 9:19:43
KFSea
26/05/18 7:30:27
"Quick, QUICK ...... Duracell anyone ..."
07/05/18 19:51:12
Frozen pees
06/05/18 11:56:25
"DON'T SHOOT!!!"
16/04/18 19:01:36
Turns out, Jane was also being paid peanuts.
14/03/18 20:00:42
Sqwheel!
08/03/18 12:37:56
Empirical evidence that obesity is in the jeans.
06/03/18 22:15:44
Female Bonding
14/02/18 12:00:31
Cheepskate
06/02/18 20:07:01
There's plenty more fish in the C
06/01/18 12:12:48
Your call is very important to us - please continue to hold
09/12/17 8:18:18
Joe promised to wear them, but suddenly got cold feet.
18/11/17 20:06:18
"Well, I told you not to pull its tail"
16/11/17 20:27:03
Nellie cleverly sneaked to the front of the queue after tapping the man on the shoulder.
12/11/17 12:16:20
"I love blind dates. So, he's a musician and is wearing a Pringles pullover."
11/11/17 12:53:41
Sour cream and Clive flavour
09/11/17 20:17:37
"Yeah, only one problem with winning big at the fruit machines ..."
08/11/17 14:11:10
"If it's a Samsung, it should start sending smoke signals really soon."
09/10/17 19:06:30
"It's incredible really, I only planted the bulb 3 weeks ago."
08/10/17 10:05:24
