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Stu Dent Vote score: 1275Stu Dent

Landing strip

04/03/19 20:13:10

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7199Vanessa the Guesser

He obviously has nothing much to declare.

04/03/19 20:02:09

 
James Lennox Vote score: 768James Lennox

"So, he was about my height, and he'll be wearing what I used to be wearing."

04/03/19 20:02:12

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 1514Stephen Bean

Brief Encounter

04/03/19 20:01:19

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 21163Michael Winner

"The ticket said that I had to change at St Lucia."

04/03/19 20:19:27

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 21163Michael Winner

"Who the hell cares what I'm wearing? They won't see me, they'll just hear my voice on the Tannoy announcing that I'm their pilot."

04/03/19 20:15:48

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 28344Tony Edwards

The unruly passenger receives a severe dressing-down.

04/03/19 20:40:14

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 28344Tony Edwards

"You're undies arrest."

04/03/19 20:30:07

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 427Scrappy Doo

Why yes, I am carrying live gerbils.

04/03/19 21:59:44

 
stone face Vote score: 3085stone face

"Excuse me officer my wife is missing, she's in a bikini and has massive boobs."

04/03/19 20:33:17

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 2895Dave Bryan

''I'm flying with Sleazy Jet.''

04/03/19 20:23:19

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 19986Ian Skelding

"You're not the reason you can't board, it's that case, even Del Boy wouldn't be seen with that."

04/03/19 21:35:44

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 2895Dave Bryan

''You can go now, sir. The case is closed.''

04/03/19 20:04:51

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 1514Stephen Bean

"But they said everyone was taking off soon."

04/03/19 20:03:17

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 34271Welsh Rarebit

"Sir, I am arresting you for speedo-ing..."

04/03/19 20:00:07

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 666Karen Oakenfull

“It was some card game, I can tell you.”

05/03/19 2:56:34

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 666Karen Oakenfull

Leaving Las Vegas

05/03/19 2:55:04

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 8851Neil Mackenzie

When I said breast stroke I wasn’t referring to your breasts Officer, honest I wouldn’t dream of stroking your breasts. Not that there is anything wrong with your breasts.

04/03/19 23:45:25

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 4740Paul Reeve

Things had been going swimmingly until Dave bumped into the police.

04/03/19 23:05:35

 
larry G. Vote score: 1102larry G.

"Your casinos have my clothes."

04/03/19 22:56:39

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18338John Glover

"Slip Henry here 20 dollars and give me a quick one behind the hoarding and we'll let you go."

04/03/19 20:45:25

 
James Lennox Vote score: 768James Lennox

"I'm not resisting arrest, I just think calling it 'Indecent' exposure is derogatory. Most women say it's decent enough."

04/03/19 20:10:37

 3
Women --Karyn Harrison
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7199Vanessa the Guesser

"Can't you put me under a vest?"

04/03/19 20:05:19

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 4471Chris Keegan

"You say you've recently seperated from your wife..."

04/03/19 20:01:53

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 34271Welsh Rarebit

When it came to drug smuggling, Bob was a little wet behind the ears.

04/03/19 20:01:18

 
Molly R Vote score: 683Molly R

"I needed to put the clothes in my case, as padding for the cocaine ... er..."

04/03/19 20:00:11

 
Dot Old Vote score: 306Dot Old

"But you don't understand, I just wanted to try my hand at skydiving."

05/03/19 7:03:03

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 1514Stephen Bean

We’re undercover officers and you’re definitely undercovered.

04/03/19 22:49:19

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1079The Wolf

Virgin package holidays

04/03/19 22:31:31

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 5885Mr Dome

Anyone wearing those, sir, is committing a crine

04/03/19 22:09:15

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 28344Tony Edwards

"I purchased them from the trolleys dolly."

04/03/19 20:57:33

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18338John Glover

"Son, you are not that well hung."

04/03/19 20:39:17

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 5063Glyn Evans

"If you're not lifeguards, are you the poolice then?"

04/03/19 20:34:44

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7199Vanessa the Guesser

"I thought it would be ok to practice my strokes?"

04/03/19 20:31:52

 
stone face Vote score: 3085stone face

"Excuse me officer my wife is missing, She's in a bikini and has terrible athritis in her hands."

04/03/19 20:31:26

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5463Tosser Wivlov

Yes big feet and an Australian accent, I definitely saw him stash drugs down his trunks.

04/03/19 20:31:10

 
stone face Vote score: 3085stone face

After an upsurge in sex tourism, custom officers have been charged to keep an eye out for speedophiles.

04/03/19 20:25:34

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 19986Ian Skelding

"The Mr Sangster International Airport Competition is next week Sir."

04/03/19 20:21:13

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 4471Chris Keegan

"Yes Sir, I'm aware Ryanair doesn't have a great reputation but I think you could possibly distress the other passengers"

04/03/19 20:20:27

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5249Hercules Rockefeller

International Buffoon's Vacation

04/03/19 20:11:20

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 1275Stu Dent

Is this the first time you have gone by seaplane sir

04/03/19 20:03:11

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 1275Stu Dent

we have reasons to believe you a smuggling budgies sir

04/03/19 20:01:49

 
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