Your call is very important to us - please continue to hold

09/12/17 8:18:18

Bloody Hell - at last
detention is finally over.

01/04/17 19:31:39

My-hut-Ma Gandhi

03/10/12 8:10:56

clever

Jester Piggot

07/04/18 20:22:17

The Abu Hamza Arms

23/10/12 19:16:02

Muriel

24/10/12 11:20:36

Was originally built on two floors - but that's another storey

14/12/11 12:09:52

Your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your mortgage.

20/02/12 12:49:47

The Chilean miners emerge, Juan by Juan

22/02/12 21:36:07

The roots of all evil

15/11/12 12:14:40

Just walking my goldfish

25/12/11 15:06:35

Mills and Doom

22/09/12 19:42:27

You hang up first...no you hang up first

20/04/12 19:45:07

Are my roots showing?

07/03/12 12:08:31

They were heading off to a Minnie break

15/12/17 12:17:58

If you take any longer the game will be Stale Meat

13/11/12 12:51:23

Overall it was a big improvement

27/01/18 10:20:11

Pair of slippers

18/11/17 20:13:21

Ugly duck ring

18/09/17 18:18:47

Even though Dave tried hard to kick the habit, he would still light up.

06/12/12 12:18:46

The police were given a frosty reception

20/11/12 12:09:12

Extreme Feng Shui

03/09/12 15:06:44

Nudist Beech

22/02/12 16:15:29

Bloody Germans! Reserving tooth brushes on holidays.

15/12/11 14:07:15

Initially very popular in Derbyshire the sport of extreme train spotting never really caught on.

30/11/19 14:44:11

Iron Maiden

07/04/18 12:05:56

Baldrick are you sure about this cunning plan?

26/09/16 8:01:30

Massive Chew Set, USA

04/10/12 11:23:33

Where've you beanie all my life?

19/05/12 15:22:02

I'm not gay - but my boyfriend is.

30/04/12 17:22:04

RyanAir announce their new budget service to Ireland

25/02/12 11:29:22

Just sprucing myself up a bit

12/02/12 22:20:31

Hurry up - we're dying of exposure

16/12/11 22:20:07

She gave me crabs, the other gave me clamydia

12/12/11 21:26:18

Victoria Peckham

01/12/12 10:42:50

Synchronized swimming demands advanced water skills, and requires great strength, endurance, flexibility, grace, artistry and precise timing, as well as a nice arse.

29/11/12 14:54:33

He-mu

21/11/12 13:29:30

Shaving private Ryan-air

14/11/12 21:57:39

The Poo Fighters

20/10/12 11:26:48

Felix originally wanted a relationship with no Thais

05/10/12 21:26:07

New kid on the block

02/10/12 21:10:47

Looking to buy a boat? - I Noah a guy

16/05/12 21:07:53

Natalie Wood

27/04/12 21:32:50

Egg on the right: I think I can smell his crack

26/02/12 20:57:45

They didn't appreciate the gravity of thier situation

06/01/12 11:48:19

We can't believe it's not Buddha

01/01/12 14:50:20

He was begging for it

24/12/11 22:17:25

"🎵...so don't go bacon my heart, I couldn't if I lied..🎵

10/12/17 9:49:04

He's been done for exposure before

09/12/17 20:31:38

I fell for him hook line and sinker

02/12/17 13:28:24

Korean fast food delivery van

19/04/17 7:00:53

Does it come with a Tom Tom?

09/04/17 11:57:46

I've cut back I only drink one glass a night

12/12/17 21:33:46

Mustang on

03/12/17 22:33:53

Phuket I'll start my diet tomorrow.

30/04/17 9:50:41

Police are still mystified at who vandalised Snow Whites' car

18/04/17 17:20:29

Diving Belle

17/04/17 19:06:41

How many times have I told you not to use the boil wash - look what you've done to Santa.

09/04/17 20:14:37

I told you not to use the boil wash.

07/04/17 12:10:17

Ok very clever - but I bet you can't reverse it.

12/10/16 19:43:11

They were going into the woods to expose themselves

08/09/16 21:57:31

Harley, David's Son

04/12/12 13:12:36

New C4 series - "Come Die With Me"

20/11/12 8:58:10

Pants People

15/10/12 14:53:13

It'll be fine - I checked the forecast with Michael Fish

01/10/12 14:56:14

Max Bygraves support act now forced to go it alone.

05/09/12 22:26:58

I'm not Bob Marley - I'm bloody Hank Marvin

29/08/12 11:51:45

You buy Juan you get Juan's brother free

23/04/12 21:38:51

Look at me guys I'm still in my prime mate

09/02/12 12:51:32

First Aid Kid

06/01/12 21:40:49

I doughnut believe it!

03/01/12 17:22:03

Dave made sure he was prepared for his annual blow job

28/12/11 21:30:29

Scotty - increase power to the transporter I think we're losing her.

22/12/11 16:44:57

When I think about you I touch my elf

01/12/19 14:48:39

The true identity of the Stig is finally revealed

25/04/18 19:47:07

So much for looking for a relationship without any ties

01/02/18 16:45:34

A shotgun wedding

25/01/18 18:16:45

I asked these guys for directions... But I couldn't get a straight answer out of them.

03/12/17 9:01:41

Chilean minor

10/04/17 15:13:26

Typical - your waiting for your bust and three busts come at the same time.

02/04/17 7:53:27

After numerous unsuccesful diets Dave tried to top himself

21/12/12 12:23:47

BudgeriGuard

19/12/12 16:07:53

Peking and forgot to duck

02/12/12 17:57:56

Narcoleptic help line

25/11/12 20:15:26

Whacky racer

23/11/12 20:41:19

Square dancer

23/11/12 10:16:28

She fell from him hook line and sinker

31/10/12 20:20:48

Star-fucked

29/10/12 11:04:55

My mum was right, there's plenty more fish in the sea

26/10/12 19:19:07

Oil of you pray

21/09/12 9:29:33

Fund raising continues to help Rangers pay their tax bill.

12/09/12 13:07:17

Henema

05/09/12 12:47:47

Full english with some toast Honda side please

29/08/12 11:49:58

Another victim of identity theft

14/08/12 17:46:52

How much for a doggy in the window?

02/05/12 12:24:14

A lass for Yorick

19/03/12 16:43:08

Aw Shit - forgot my Nectar card.

06/03/12 13:13:40

Don't come in here with Shiite on your shoes



(cue for a Shiite joke?)

15/01/12 17:07:06

Grab a Granny Sale! - last one on the shelf.

12/01/12 12:31:37

Has anyone found of one those bloody Meerkats yet - otherwise it looks like I going to have to pay full price for my car insurance.

01/01/12 22:01:24