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"Well Sir, we don't actually need to strip search you, but we do appreciate your eagerness to cooperate."

15/02/19 20:16:18

"Well we've had mobile phones and all kinds of drugs hidden up people's backsides , but this is the first time we've found someone trying to smuggle a chair into prison."

15/02/19 20:18:30

"If you like I can make you a lovely cloak, something like this, and it would go so well with the velvet suit you are wearing my Emperor."

15/02/19 20:07:39

"I can clearly see your nuts."

16/02/19 7:21:45

Dave, I'm running late, go to your doctor's appointment then buy the kids a pizza with nothing on.

15/02/19 22:19:57

"Following our full examination you will be pleased to hear that we found no evidence of the missing Hobnobs from the kitchen, you may now get dressed. On your way out will you please send in Debbie from accounts".

15/02/19 20:08:13

Debriefing

15/02/19 20:00:03

"Frank, if you take your clothes off you'll find it much easier to write a caption"

15/02/19 21:45:41

"Date of birth?"
"01 04 59."
"Sex?"
"Yes please."

15/02/19 20:33:33

"I'd say at the time it was about four inches long, and it must be somewhere on the grass verge."

"Ok Mr Bobbitt we'll get the search team out looking for it."

15/02/19 20:16:16

"I demand to see a solicitor"

"To be honest sir, that's what got you into trouble in the first place"

15/02/19 20:36:39