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My very first memory....
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Mr Dome  Vote score: 9437Mr Dome

My very first memory....

03/09/19 8:04:53

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9342Stephen Bean

The only way to truly appreciate the size of a woman's handbag is to get inside.

03/09/19 12:50:23

 
Tiny Alien Vote score: 487Tiny Alien

- Darling quick, stop a minute, what the fucks that outside the window?
- Shit! shit! shit!, quickly cover yourself up, it's that little bastard from next door with his drone.

03/09/19 11:27:56

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5364James Lennox

I've had a really bad day, so I voted for this photo just to piss everyone else off.

03/09/19 8:01:09

 1
I've had a good day, so I voted for this caption. So you didn't piss me off. --Willie Johnson
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10566Neil Mackenzie

This is caption me, so it’s either a bicycle head light or a one eyed cat.

03/09/19 22:29:42

 1
Or a mannequin holding a flashlight. --James Lennox
stone face Vote score: 7496stone face

Looking back, Pong had to be one of the worst video games ever.

03/09/19 8:05:04

 
stone face Vote score: 7496stone face

"And now back to live coverage of the pitch black tightrope walking championship."

03/09/19 8:26:03

 1
Brilliant! --Anna Caddy
James Lennox Vote score: 5364James Lennox

"Surely you can't be serious."

"I am Sirius, and don't call me Shirley."

03/09/19 8:05:23

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5364James Lennox

Van Gogh's first attempt at "Starry Night" was kind of crap.

03/09/19 8:02:45

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8488Chris Keegan

Dave???

03/09/19 9:09:02

 1
stone face Vote score: 7496stone face

"He's either dead or the heart monitor is broke again."

03/09/19 8:40:27

 2
*Caller, can you check to see if your friend is actually dead?**BANG*"Ok, what now?"*Now check the heart monitor by turning it off and on again.* --Michael Winner
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8488Chris Keegan

I'm sorry, but if any of us stand any chance that bloody Wolf has to be tracked down...

03/09/19 8:00:40

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6986The Wolf

I've never understood space porn

03/09/19 8:00:33

 1
stone face Vote score: 7496stone face

"Ok this is the police helicopter.We are over the area now. What is it that we're looking for?"

"It's a Mr Jones, he's gone missing. He was last seen riding his bike home from his job, in the luminious paint factory."

03/09/19 8:17:53

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4637Kenny Ireland

Memories of "The Epilogue".

03/09/19 21:37:58

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20364John Glover

"No Jim, I said find me a picture of a meaty whore."

03/09/19 12:16:31

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6099Greg Curtis

"Barack Obama, posing with a Pennsylvania miner."

03/09/19 12:08:06

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4426Karyn Harrison

Some people eat Ready Brek for supper too.

03/09/19 9:51:20

 
Tiny Alien Vote score: 487Tiny Alien

"Tele's gone!"

03/09/19 8:58:58

 
Tiny Alien Vote score: 487Tiny Alien

If you eat burgers, chips, processed sausages with no veg for 17 years your vision may be reduced to this!

03/09/19 8:55:51

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20012John Llamas

The further adventures of ...Torchy the Battery Boy

03/09/19 8:29:53

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6986The Wolf

"Beam me up Scotty"
"Aye Captain.....welcome back capt...Hang on, you're not the captain..."
"ALLAHU AKBAR..."

03/09/19 8:17:01

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20012John Llamas

Watt

03/09/19 8:04:12

 
stone face Vote score: 7496stone face

"Stop panicking! We're completely safe sleeping in this tunnel. There hasn't been a train on this track for years."

03/09/19 8:03:55

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9095Dave Bryan

''Taffy, have you found any coal yet?''

03/09/19 8:01:53

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6516Glyn Evans

Terry, my pet Angler fish.

03/09/19 8:00:30

 
Poxy Jock Vote score: 86Poxy Jock

Inside Jeremy Corbyn's brain, a decision bubble formed and flickered for a moment but then was extinguished by the fencesitting anti-particle

04/09/19 18:25:44

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4637Kenny Ireland

Tunnel vision.

04/09/19 1:18:47

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 944Sam Cass

A deflection?! Ah, there seems to be light at the end of the Tory after all!

03/09/19 20:26:40

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

"Scared the hell out of me, but I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel."

03/09/19 17:13:07

 
General Zod Vote score: 3393General Zod

Trials to ensure continuous electricity supply in the event of a no-deal Brexit prove successful.

03/09/19 13:44:32

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20364John Glover

"Don't worry, it's just a blip in the programme."

03/09/19 12:39:01

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1384Willie Johnson

A black cat against a black wall wearing a white mask?
Or maybe it's just underexposed.

03/09/19 10:55:20

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9095Dave Bryan

8:01:09. What time do you start your day?

03/09/19 10:41:10

 1
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1384Willie Johnson

You are a shining star: Just like billions of others, nearly as old as the universe itself and far too distant for anyone to feel your warmth.

03/09/19 10:33:00

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 5694Vivvy En

What toothpaste does Rylan Clark-Neal use?

03/09/19 9:58:12

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31478Tony Edwards

The Sky at Light

03/09/19 9:56:41

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31478Tony Edwards

Black and light photography

03/09/19 9:00:50

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1384Willie Johnson

♪♪ Twinkle twinkle little star...♪♪
Wait, don't twinkle, it's pitch black out here.

03/09/19 8:52:22

 
Anna Caddy Vote score: 309Anna Caddy

Gloria the glow worm had forgotten to add her profile to the Lovelight dating website

03/09/19 8:47:20

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6986The Wolf

Usually, life was pretty uneventful living next to a Russian nuclear launch site.

"Oh look dear, Trump's just gone on Twitter and called Putin a puff..."

03/09/19 8:44:02

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9342Stephen Bean

Torching the Void

03/09/19 8:43:37

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 11554Vanessa the Guesser

Mannekin photo.. check
Cat photo .. check
Oh great a moon photo.. check
(That's a lunar tick)

03/09/19 8:19:00

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21962Ian Skelding

1st Nov 2019:
"Use that torch sparingly Tom, batteries are £10 each now."

03/09/19 8:13:50

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5364James Lennox

No matter what they tell you, NEVER go towards the light, it'll be the last thing you do.

03/09/19 8:12:25

 
stone face Vote score: 7496stone face

"Yeah ! There it is. Now steer the boat and head for that light house."

"You really are pissed ."

"Why are you saying that."

"Because we're in a friggin caravan."

03/09/19 8:12:20

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6586Hercules Rockefeller

"Who the hell is spelunking at this ungodly hour?"

03/09/19 8:12:10

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9095Dave Bryan

''There's something wrong with the TV, darling. When I switch it off the white dot isn't in the middle.''

03/09/19 8:04:23

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5364James Lennox

... blip ...

03/09/19 8:01:38

 
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