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James Lennox Vote score: 1465James Lennox

"One way or another Monsieur, you will leave a tip."

05/03/19 12:24:57

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Stephen Bean Vote score: 2281Stephen Bean

Marie Antoilette

05/03/19 12:00:04

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6314Mr Dome

Going for a slash

05/03/19 12:14:59

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5205Chris Keegan

You should have seen this place last night, it was overflowing with dick heads.

05/03/19 15:12:59

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1465James Lennox

"DON'T pull the chain!"

05/03/19 12:29:59

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 2125Karyn Harrison

To pee or not to pee, that is the question.

05/03/19 19:45:15

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 28984Tony Edwards

Dismembers club

05/03/19 12:03:36

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35151Welsh Rarebit

When my black labrador disappears, I often find him in here.

05/03/19 12:00:07

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6314Mr Dome

Cock au pan

05/03/19 22:02:23

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4123Kenny Ireland

Alternatively try the condom machine.

05/03/19 12:53:26

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1912The Wolf

Guillatrine

05/03/19 12:00:04

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4060C CaMel

hArmitage Shanks

05/03/19 16:55:40

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4123Kenny Ireland

"It was nice to meet you Mr. Smith but I think it's best if I don't go out with your daughter anymore".

05/03/19 17:34:16

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 4804Paul Reeve

“There’s not been a trace of cocaine in the toilets ever since I had it installed.”

05/03/19 13:50:20

 
Mark England Vote score: 14638Mark England

"On second thoughts" said Marie Antoinette, "I'd prefer the men to be well hung"

05/03/19 13:31:46

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3604Dave Bryan

Chopper

05/03/19 12:07:37

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3604Dave Bryan

''You won't feel anything apart from a little prick.''

05/03/19 12:00:33

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35151Welsh Rarebit

Willy-otine

05/03/19 12:00:14

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5511Tosser Wivlov

The long piss goodbye.

05/03/19 17:07:42

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2000Trace Sarge

Carry on Don't Lose Your Head

05/03/19 15:20:09

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2281Stephen Bean

A revolutionary new design

05/03/19 14:49:58

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5476Greg Curtis

"Now urine trouble."

05/03/19 13:13:23

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1465James Lennox

Paruresis, the fear to urinate in public toilets, is a completely irrational phobia.

05/03/19 12:47:42

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7737Vanessa the Guesser

Another NHS cut

05/03/19 12:06:41

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 189Charles Gilbert

No, I'm not Nick... are you Nick?

06/03/19 5:17:57

 
Generic RedHead Vote score: 205Generic RedHead

You think that's bad? Just wait and see what the firing squad is.

06/03/19 1:18:05

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 8994Neil Mackenzie

At a pub in Scotland, the landlord does nay like replacing the deodourizing blocks.

05/03/19 22:37:22

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 601Scrappy Doo

"Let them eat cock."

05/03/19 22:29:39

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 21457Michael Winner

Ever the practical joker, I'm not sure that he was cut out to be a Mohel.

05/03/19 21:24:00

 
Lawrence Day Vote score: 394Lawrence Day

Blade runner.

05/03/19 19:45:08

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 1627Stu Dent

The Original Tallywacker

05/03/19 17:30:54

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4060C CaMel

Gland of lop and gory

05/03/19 16:57:49

 
Lawrence Day Vote score: 394Lawrence Day

Typical council to save money, the toilets always get the chop.

05/03/19 16:42:09

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 846Karen Oakenfull

My husband would have nothing to fear there.

05/03/19 14:53:57

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 3930Vivvy En

"Now, that really IS a p!ss-take...and then some!"

05/03/19 13:57:58

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 601Scrappy Doo

Technology finally solves the problem of the last drop falling in your pants.

05/03/19 13:55:21

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18703John Glover

Word has got around and a lot of tradesmen refuse to work there, they keep getting their tools nicked.

05/03/19 13:20:42

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5476Greg Curtis

"Never use a pay toilet, if they offer to take half off."

05/03/19 13:12:23

 
stone face Vote score: 3702stone face

John Bobbit wasn't convinced by his wife's pleas that she was a reformed character.

05/03/19 13:08:20

 
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 703Spycenwolf

You could hear whispers of "Let them shit cake," in that toilet.

05/03/19 12:39:02

 
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 703Spycenwolf

You could loos your head in here.

05/03/19 12:37:41

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 2125Karyn Harrison

"I wouldn't go in there, that urinal's a bloody disgrace!"

05/03/19 12:22:51

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1465James Lennox

On the bright side, it's better to have your head cut off than lose the whole thing.

05/03/19 12:21:10

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12180Dan Nicholls

Welcome to Bill's Scaffolding, today, all our erections are 50% off.

05/03/19 12:16:04

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5205Chris Keegan

Don’t you find that since Gregs introduced toilet facilities the sausage rolls have got very chewy?

05/03/19 12:08:16

 
Lawrence Day Vote score: 394Lawrence Day

Cleaners revenge, If you don't pee, in the urinal , you are in for the chop.

05/03/19 12:07:41

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 28984Tony Edwards

Shaving Ryan's privates

05/03/19 12:06:59

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 439Sam Cass

Some men in this hamlet dance a jig to hold it all in, others do it because they couldn't.

05/03/19 12:06:54

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5414Hercules Rockefeller

Pubic Execution

05/03/19 12:04:05

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 439Sam Cass

I always feel guillotine when I can't hold my pee.

05/03/19 12:03:20

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5205Chris Keegan

“Darling we must go, apparently the garden’s full of Peacocks”

05/03/19 12:01:52

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2281Stephen Bean

Since the upgrade the pub’s flower pots were getting plenty of nitrates.

05/03/19 12:00:40

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1912The Wolf

Finally, some benefit to having a tiny c*ck

05/03/19 12:00:38

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5205Chris Keegan

“Since taking over the pub, has Julie got over being two timed yet again?”

05/03/19 12:00:17

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1912The Wolf

Another act of barbarism from the Kamikhazi

05/03/19 12:00:15

 
Molly R Vote score: 778Molly R

This week only - free circumcision!

05/03/19 12:00:07

 
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