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"Look at that old lady swallowing a fly. Should we avoid her?"  "Nah, looks like shes chasing a spider now. We should be fine."
"Look at that old lady swallowing a fly. Should we avoid her?"  "Nah, looks like shes chasing a spider now. We should be fine." photo | portfolio
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James Lennox Vote score: 5357James Lennox

"Look at that old lady swallowing a fly. Should we avoid her?"

"Nah, looks like she's chasing a spider now. We should be fine."

02/09/19 8:57:49

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6985The Wolf

"Alright Dave? Remember me? From the park last Thursday? We got drunk and spent the night dancing...fine, how rude"

02/09/19 8:21:20

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14611Dan Nicholls

"But I AM an owl."
"You are not, and you are not coming to sea. Good day."

02/09/19 8:09:06

 
stone face Vote score: 7485stone face

"Ok..Ok ..I lied a bit and you lied a bit.

But come on..everyone lies on their Tinder profile."

02/09/19 9:29:21

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9083Dave Bryan

''You may not love me now but I'll crow on you.''

02/09/19 8:15:38

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14611Dan Nicholls

"Did I tell you about the time I ate half a mouse fresh off the motorway?"
"No, do carrion."

02/09/19 8:07:50

 
Molly R Vote score: 1679Molly R

"So I said to him - no, no, listen, this is really funny! - I said - this was in reply to that thing he said - so I took a deep breath and I said..."

"P*ss off."

02/09/19 8:00:57

 2
Haha!Actually I think I would like it even better without the "p*ss off", just focusing on the talkative bird. :^)Crunchy (your voter) --Crunchy Chords
Generic RedHead Vote score: 681Generic RedHead

Crow: "Then the woman at the airport said to me 'any carry on?', then i said no thank you I've just eaten. Get it? Carry on sounds like carrion"
Cat: "This is why i cant take you to parties"

02/09/19 14:51:51

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

"I'll be tagging along for a while kitty. We're in a no-fly zone."

02/09/19 17:05:28

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9435Mr Dome

Why kill the other 23 and spare me?

02/09/19 11:14:57

 
Stan Peters Stan Peters

Tom ... you kill, I'll clean up afterwards, Deal or No Deal?
Don't bring Brexit into this Jack

02/09/19 8:14:59

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6516Glyn Evans

Mag-puss

02/09/19 8:15:16

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9083Dave Bryan

''I should never have married you. You're rotten to the caw.''

02/09/19 8:07:45

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9327Stephen Bean

I've always wondered what a black bird's pussy looks like.

02/09/19 8:00:07

 7
I'm sure that when I voted for this, it said "blackbird". I'm not so happy with my vote being attached to "black bird". --Molly R
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10562Neil Mackenzie

I got told you could fly?
No I had Cat Flu.

02/09/19 23:34:03

 1
John  Glover Vote score: 20357John Glover

"It's a cruel world Tom, someone's nicked your boots and I was almost a pie filling."

02/09/19 12:06:59

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 5680Vivvy En

"C'mon, it'll be much quicker if we take my route... Oh yeah, you can't fly, can you?"

02/09/19 11:21:20

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2851GeeDee

Be careful Sam, I used up all my nine life's and this is what I've come back as

02/09/19 10:34:44

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4426Karyn Harrison

"Go away you annoying little tit!"
"Er, if you go on www.rspb.org.uk I think you'll find I am in fact a raven!"

02/09/19 9:00:22

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4426Karyn Harrison

"Caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw ..."

02/09/19 8:46:25

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9083Dave Bryan

''If you lift your tail up, I'll get rid of the worm for you.''

02/09/19 8:02:48

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 491Charles Gilbert

You came to the wrong neighborhood...

02/09/19 23:40:49

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 944Sam Cass

Tom Crows.

02/09/19 17:32:17

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

"Hey kitty, wanna buy a mouse?"

02/09/19 16:54:59

 
General Zod Vote score: 3393General Zod

Traffic accidents on Crow Road road have declined ever since they installed cats eyes.

02/09/19 14:03:41

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 944Sam Cass

'Caw caw caw caw caw caw cawcaw. Cawcaw caw caw caw. Caw, caw caw caw caw caw caw "caw caw caw caw?" Caw caw caw! Caw caw, caw caw caw caw caw? Wait, are you even listening to me?!'

02/09/19 13:51:59

 
Barrie Bullock Vote score: 559Barrie Bullock

The boys are back in town.

02/09/19 13:50:03

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 944Sam Cass

DAY 1825: "So, let me get this straight once again: you are telling me that all of my babies just happened to disappear from my home that night you came over for dinner five years ago?"

02/09/19 13:40:30

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 5680Vivvy En

"Listen, Corvie. We DON'T hang out together in public, OK?"

02/09/19 11:27:07

 
Anna Caddy Vote score: 309Anna Caddy

Sick of her catty remarks, Colin the crow was determined to give her the beak

02/09/19 11:18:28

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4426Karyn Harrison

"Rook off!"

02/09/19 10:03:09

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9327Stephen Bean

Rook paw-n

02/09/19 10:00:54

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20011John Llamas

“ bloody twitter followers ...”

02/09/19 9:11:11

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4426Karyn Harrison

'If I'd known it was going to be like this I'd never've auditioned for The Crow Road,' thought Tigger.

02/09/19 8:55:46

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9083Dave Bryan

''Nag, nag, nag. You birds are all the same.''

02/09/19 8:25:21

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 11541Vanessa the Guesser

Murder Most Horrid

02/09/19 8:23:05

 
Stan Peters Stan Peters

Come on.....give us break you fat cats have dead mice stashed all over the place.
Have a heart pal I've got a wife 4 kids to feed.

You should have kept off the nest then shouldn't you?

02/09/19 8:20:56

 
Mark England Vote score: 16546Mark England

"He's standing in that cornfield over there. Now, all you have to do is claw his big, gormless, sacky face to shreds, and the mouse that I have in my nest is yours"

02/09/19 8:16:49

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3233Crunchy Chords

Mrs Raven always knew there would come a day when her adopted kitten would grow up and lose all respect for her.

02/09/19 8:16:42

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6586Hercules Rockefeller

Some cats just aren't the same after being spayed & neutered.

02/09/19 8:08:52

 
Anna Caddy Vote score: 309Anna Caddy

My purrfect bird

02/09/19 8:04:28

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 11541Vanessa the Guesser

Makes a change from jay walking.

02/09/19 8:04:10

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8468Chris Keegan

"You're lucky I'm not feeling peckish"

02/09/19 8:00:06

 
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