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Molly R Vote score: 5250Molly R

"Go on, send Boris another text - he falls for it every time!"

25/04/21 8:09:34

Troompa Loompa Vote score: 24544Troompa Loompa

These soldiers were unable to dodge the draft.

24/04/21 20:11:22

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35274Ian Skelding

"Hey, kids, have you seen my diamond ring? it was by the fairy liquid on the kitchen window sill."

23/04/21 7:30:21

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24962Vanessa the Guesser

Rock 'n' roll

21/04/21 19:00:07

The Rock and Roll Hall of Flame-broiled burgers. --Willie Johnson
Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

As Chester zoo reopens, staff discover a giraffe has penetrated the bearded dragon enclosure with amazing results.

18/04/21 7:04:11

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16436Hercules Rockefeller

"Do you think this corsage is a bit much?"

16/04/21 11:19:31

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

"Excuse me love, can you move please? Doctor Who can't get out of his tardis."

11/04/21 7:31:26

Tony S Vote score: 12897Tony S

Hello Mr Wolf can you tell the 3rd little pig we are going to be late with his delivery

09/04/21 7:10:58

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42711Tony Edwards

It was designed by Jean Paul Goatier.

31/03/21 19:45:26

Are you sure it wasn't Bill BLAAAAAAAASS? --Scrijjy Doo
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 24544Troompa Loompa

8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskies.

28/03/21 11:07:04

Disbabling the search function doesn't really help.. ;-) --Guideaux .
Mr Dome  Vote score: 20212Mr Dome

No honey I definitely ordered a leotard

26/03/21 22:20:05

Vivvy En Vote score: 16860Vivvy En

"Stop moaning, Dave, I carried her for 9 months. It's only another mile or so."

18/03/21 12:07:39

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

Narcoleptics: never pass out in the drawing room.

11/03/21 15:09:39

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''I've got to go now. It's time for the midday caption.''

09/03/21 12:18:56

He really doesn't know whether he's coming or going. --Willie Johnson
James Lennox Vote score: 26127James Lennox

"We're not wearing anything Dave, but if you're shy come in your shorts."

"I have."

09/03/21 12:00:39

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24962Vanessa the Guesser

May the force pee with you.

09/03/21 8:00:12

Shields Up! --SnapDragon D
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 1425Ellen Duncalf

Yep. They've cleared off. Time to have some fun with the goldfish.

28/02/21 13:55:37

stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

"I wouldn't mind a pair like that."

"Oh come off it Ermintrude! You'd look ridiculous in flip flops."

27/02/21 8:38:45

Flip flops? They look more like spaniel's ears. --Mauris Iocus
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

Has someone warned her about attracting the wrong sort of fellers?

26/02/21 20:00:39

like termites? --Mauris Iocus
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24962Vanessa the Guesser

Looks highly strung to me.

26/02/21 13:02:42

Endeavour 2 Persevere Vote score: 123Endeavour 2 Persevere

Miss Bee Haven

24/02/21 8:17:22

James Lennox Vote score: 26127James Lennox

Fortunately the North Korean nuclear threat wasn't all it had been cracked up to be.

22/02/21 8:22:01

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35274Ian Skelding

"Hi darling, I'm going to be home late, a plane's just landed on the Motorway."
"For God's sake Steve, just say you're in the pub."

20/02/21 20:27:02

"I am in the pub but I haven't started drinking yet." --Willie Johnson
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24962Vanessa the Guesser

"Get a broom!"

15/02/21 8:04:59

Get a ROOMba!" --Mauris Iocus
stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

"For fucks sake Tiger! Just take a drop shot."

11/02/21 8:09:29

Tony S Vote score: 12897Tony S

That's my last drop off Noah you will have to send someone else back to pick up the Dodos

10/02/21 20:22:57

Stu Dent Vote score: 5757Stu Dent

Don't look back in hunger

10/02/21 12:00:07

If eyes could eat, that would be gone by now. --Willie Johnson
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

Cocks and robbers

08/02/21 12:00:05

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"Reverend Smith, sorry to bother you on your lunch break, there's a lady waiting to see you in the vestry"

05/02/21 12:00:11

How convenient, (although I was preparing for the choirboy auditions), I'm wearing the new bishopric approved vestments. --Mauris Iocus
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

"I see bread people."

04/02/21 8:00:20

Stu Dent Vote score: 5757Stu Dent

Charlie's Angels

03/02/21 20:02:17

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

Foolout

29/01/21 12:02:40

Fozzgog B. Vote score: 534Fozzgog B.

Captioning while driving - so not worth £50

28/01/21 21:27:40

James Lennox Vote score: 26127James Lennox

Dave loved riding lightning rods during hurricanes. He did it well. We'll miss you Dave.

14/01/21 8:07:10

Please change it back. I thought "We'll miss you Dave" was punchier, but you decide.  --Glyn Evans
Stu Dent Vote score: 5757Stu Dent

The fit controller

12/01/21 20:24:08

C CaMel Vote score: 19694C CaMel

"I get it washed then some unicorn shits all over it!"

11/01/21 9:04:20

Stu Dent Vote score: 5757Stu Dent

Your Ferrero Rocher Mr Gulliver

06/01/21 20:07:12

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19978Dan Nicholls

Everyone wanted to say something about Martin's background during the group call, but no one was brave enough to address the elephant in the Zoom.

31/12/20 8:47:17

Stu Dent Vote score: 5757Stu Dent

The only mother in the UK who was hoping
for stricter lockdown regulations.

20/12/20 12:09:43

"strictier"? You mean I've been spelling it wrong all these years? --Willie Johnson
Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

LGBTQUEUE

20/12/20 12:06:25

Vivvy En Vote score: 16860Vivvy En

'Hmmm, got the leotard sorted. Now to choose a workout DVD...'

15/12/20 8:49:44

Whichever one looks tastiest --Mr Dome
Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

Mini hands make light work.

12/12/20 8:00:35

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''Go to work on an egg.''

30/11/20 12:02:10

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

'Working from home hasn't affected me at all' Said Michael Jones, Director of Lloyds Bank.

25/11/20 8:36:44

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

When wasps start being attracted to your toilet seat, it's time to get tested for diabetes.

24/11/20 12:21:38

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

The local Dungeons and Dragons club finally pluck up the courage to Google the word 'tits'...

12/11/20 12:00:15

And see a pic of themselves --Mr Dome
Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''I'm so grateful you managed to unblock the sink.''

09/11/20 20:15:27

James Lennox Vote score: 26127James Lennox

It's a wonder of nature how sunflowers always turn to face the camera.

08/11/20 20:09:23

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

That awkward moment when you're trying to appreciate the Mona Lisa, then your friend's black labrador starts licking your ear hole.

05/11/20 8:30:36

To be fair, why does a caption have to be about the Mona Lisa? She is not the only subject in the photo. Who really cares what aspect of the picture is taken as long as it is part of the photo and provides us with some humour? Lots of the best cap... --Mr Dome
Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

Mike detects earth tremors pretty much everywhere he goes.

03/11/20 12:00:33

Lucky Elperro Vote score: 6321Lucky Elperro

"Normal people will see the outline of a vase in this picture, but the bedwetters will see two sheep".

02/11/20 15:54:10

Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 18084Scrijjy Doo

The Dying Scotsman

01/11/20 13:20:19

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

When you forget to put the bins out, hear the dust lorry outside and just try to move them by telekinesis instead.

30/10/20 21:40:12

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

"I tried that new barbers down the road yesterday"
- "Yeah, me too Dave"

30/10/20 12:04:33

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

In a moment of magnificent inspiration Kevin and Julie saved themselves thirty quid for a babysitter and went out.

27/10/20 8:00:41

The lights are on but nobody's home. --Willie Johnson
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24962Vanessa the Guesser

After a long match, play went to sudden death.

26/10/20 20:01:02

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

Tom and Dave think it's bloody hilarious nobody can go out clubbing anymore!

26/10/20 12:00:08

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

How your cat would react if for some reason a fat strange man forced his way down your chimney...

24/10/20 7:21:09

Sorry for not voting Wolfie, I forgot I had 1 hour less to vote for this caption. You had me in stitches. --Stephen Bean
Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you'll be a Mannequin, my son!"

17/10/20 11:00:21

Mark England Vote score: 24107Mark England

"Quick, call the Peelers"

13/10/20 19:02:59

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"Jane, when you said you had an affair whilst working at Monkey World, I presumed you meant with a member of staff"

13/10/20 7:00:24

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42711Tony Edwards

It makes a change from watching repeats of Porridge.

08/10/20 11:23:56

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''Don't come running to me, if you fall off.''

04/10/20 19:35:59

Dot Old Vote score: 3178Dot Old

Dear Mr Beach

cc Captioneers

I'm just writing to te you how much I enjoy your website, caption.me. I find it very entertaining and it rea y makes me augh.

I don't write very often as it takes me so
b oody ong on this typewriter. I'm saving up for a new one.

We , have a nice day.

Yours sincere y

anon

04/10/20 7:20:51

"I didn't know he was called Mr Bleach" He is white isn't he? --Willie Johnson
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 149Eugene Quill

It's Stor-a-Mog, the exciting new cat storage unit! (Model shown is for illustration purposes only. Cats not supplied).

02/10/20 19:54:51

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35274Ian Skelding

"Now put your right foot in."
"Don't think I'm brave enough."
"My right leg needs oiling."
"Which one's my right?"

30/09/20 8:39:49

James Lennox Vote score: 26127James Lennox

"Honey, remember how 9 months ago I told you I was abducted by aliens..."

29/09/20 7:03:18

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8847Crunchy Chords
"Help me, Formula-Wan Kenobi, youre my only hope."

27/09/20 7:01:14

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42711Tony Edwards

U and I

22/09/20 11:41:35

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

They had a boy. Greyam.

22/09/20 11:01:56

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''Darling, when I said you could do with an extra few inches......''

22/09/20 7:25:40

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"Are you ok out there Dad? Sorry, I know it's freezing but we don't have a choice with social distancing. Anyway, where do you keep your biscuits?"

18/09/20 19:00:41

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

Ruff sketch

18/09/20 11:03:05

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

🎵 Never store your superglue next to your eye drops 🎵

17/09/20 11:00:07

That will make you sing the glues. --Willie Johnson
Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

Inkongnito

16/09/20 11:17:08

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"I actually had a sex change after we had kids and I can tell you, it's not easy being a trans parent"

16/09/20 7:16:16

alexandra ball Vote score: 3324alexandra ball

New ladybird edition the joy of sex

15/09/20 19:12:12

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

"Give us a really big wave!"

10/09/20 7:04:41

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

Spitting image

05/09/20 7:00:06

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42711Tony Edwards

Early gurning centre

04/09/20 19:16:17

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24962Vanessa the Guesser

"A large shuttlecock has landed in the garden!"

"I thought I heard a racquet."

26/08/20 7:07:56

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''It's stopped raining, darling. Let's get out of here.''

24/08/20 20:35:28

James Lennox Vote score: 26127James Lennox

When your remote falls down the back of the pouch.

24/08/20 11:05:55

Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

A man for all seasons

23/08/20 19:00:15

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

"No nick-a la sturgeon!"

23/08/20 11:00:12

That's so bad I had to vote for it. --Dave Bryan
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 3954Karen Oakenfull

That's so fake. You can see the thin wires holding the spider up! Duh.

22/08/20 7:50:44

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35274Ian Skelding

Tom later moved onto bigger furniture but unfortunately suffered from a slipped desk."

21/08/20 7:40:45

Mark Wilson Vote score: 5197Mark Wilson

7,8,9,10 ... Coming ready or not

18/08/20 12:10:48

Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 3954Karen Oakenfull

"Darling, can you smell ga....."

18/08/20 7:01:34

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35274Ian Skelding

Hanker Chief

15/08/20 19:08:34

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 16234Neil Mackenzie

Where's the poop deck?

11/08/20 19:23:30

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35274Ian Skelding

"Of course it's safe, President Trump sanctioned it."

10/08/20 19:41:14

Lucky Elperro Vote score: 6321Lucky Elperro

"This'll teach the b*st*rds for leaving me in Tesco's car park with the windows up."

08/08/20 20:38:38

There there, no need to get all hot under the collar. --Willie Johnson
Mark Wilson Vote score: 5197Mark Wilson

" It's me, open the door"

06/08/20 8:49:41

Stu Dent Vote score: 5757Stu Dent

A Doc Holiday Inn

03/08/20 11:13:54

alexandra ball Vote score: 3324alexandra ball

He's screwed now, the combination is their wedding anniversary.

29/07/20 13:08:21

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24962Vanessa the Guesser

"We've always dreamed of having a large family."

26/07/20 7:34:08

stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

Things were going great at the Jason And The Argonauts reuninon party.

22/07/20 7:03:16

Great caption and I hate to be 'that guy', but there's a typo in 'reunion' --Michael Winner
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

6th form college prepares for visit from Prince Andrew.

20/07/20 19:05:12

Mark Wilson Vote score: 5197Mark Wilson

" We're behind schedule, you'll have to carry on working through your lunch"

18/07/20 11:14:45

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