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John Harrison Vote score: 11390John Harrison

I saw exactly the same car last week, except it was green.

12/12/22 8:12:07

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"Tony, this is getting ridiculous and it's about time you realised that you've got a hoarding problem. The books are bad enough but where the hell did you get that man from?"

03/12/22 21:01:59

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20605Mr Dome

Zing-Li didn't see the glass partition

01/12/22 20:15:25

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8981Crunchy Chords

"Promised the missus I'd cut back to one a day."

29/11/22 20:00:28

John Harrison Vote score: 11390John Harrison

Dave made two bad decisions that day - parking where he did and leaving the sunroof open.

27/11/22 13:48:17

Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

''We knew he was going to be a captioneer when he started regurgitating at six months old.''

25/11/22 12:06:32

Well on this site you're not a non entity, caption author, you made at least 11 people smile with this caption! 😊👌 --KT A
Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

His bark's worse than his bike.

24/11/22 20:14:45

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20605Mr Dome

Never do your make-up on a road with speed bumps

22/11/22 12:03:48, edited: 22/11/22 12:04:14

Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

''You'll like this caption...........not a lot, but you'll like it.''

21/11/22 8:31:37

So tell me when this is supposed to happen...(still waiting). (*Just kidding. I like this caption...........not a lot, but I like it.) --Willie Johnson
tony kelly Vote score: 2510tony kelly

''Where exactly did the jellyfish sting you, Mr. Smith?''

17/11/22 13:06:18

Max Jennings Vote score: 62Max Jennings

‘Is it ok if I place you on hold? My foots getting cold’

15/11/22 12:05:12

James Lennox Vote score: 27318James Lennox

What happens in the barn, stays in the barn.

12/11/22 20:06:08

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

"Jeez, that queue for the loo is massive! Thank goodness I'm wearing a nappy."

11/11/22 12:04:10

Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

Statue of What a Liberty

09/11/22 12:04:31

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15863Chris Keegan

Rex is clearly shocked by the size of Micky’s erection.

07/11/22 12:00:12

John Harrison Vote score: 11390John Harrison

The evidence leant towards it being a fake. The depth of the layering, the delicacy of the brush strokes...the fact it was printed on a cheap beach towel.

26/10/22 12:08:05

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 25306Vanessa the Guesser

I'm in two minds whether to read this or not.

22/10/22 19:01:23

Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

"Look, I can see you're not happy so I'll tell you what, I'll knock a hundred quid off the two hundred million."

22/10/22 11:19:04

Supervotes sent. --Molly R
Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

Wraptor

21/10/22 11:02:42

Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

How the average family will be living in 12 months.

18/10/22 19:03:03

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

Nobody really talks about the Bay City Rollers' punk period anymore.

16/10/22 7:00:12

vincent hefter Vote score: 1400vincent hefter

It's not looking good for Truss. All three poles clearly show labour on top.

08/10/22 11:00:32

vincent hefter Vote score: 1400vincent hefter

Unexpected Item in the Undergrowth!
-------------------------------------
We love a crafty forage,
But this gave us quite a start:
They'd left some peas and porridge,
So we'll be dining à la cart!...

05/10/22 11:00:22

Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

In other news, a series of co-ordinated robberies have hit the country's fishmongers and dairy producers. The suspects have been described as "adorable".

05/10/22 8:47:07

Tony Edwards Vote score: 43047Tony Edwards

Bride and gloom

04/10/22 19:18:13

Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

I NEVER MET A SHIP I LIKED

I can't think of a good one liner either.

03/10/22 7:03:55

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16881Hercules Rockefeller

"You're gonna have to hold still if you want me to correctly administer this Heimlich maneuver, Dave."

01/10/22 7:22:35

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20605Mr Dome

Please take your litter home

30/09/22 22:11:21

Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

10 seconds earlier...

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house away."

26/09/22 7:16:33

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8981Crunchy Chords
.             "Id like to buy some cod fillets, please." "No. The cod is mine. Not for sale."               . .                                   "Haddock?" .     "Mine."                            . .

21/09/22 19:00:46, edited: 14/11/22 20:11:42

It's all right Paul, wait 'til it starts 'groan' on you. (* And with that, I'm out of comment quota. Yay?) --Willie Johnson
Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

"No, you've not won yet. My king has 9 lives too."

18/09/22 12:10:42

Biggy L Vote score: 194Biggy L

There's 9 mellon bicycles in Beijing

17/09/22 20:43:18, edited: 17/09/22 21:09:43

Kate B Vote score: 13508Kate B

You know you’re in trouble when even your therapist needs a glass of wine during your session.

16/09/22 20:01:33

Vivvy En Vote score: 17307Vivvy En

"That's the last time I sit on the top deck. I missed my bloody stop!"

15/09/22 19:03:06

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16881Hercules Rockefeller

"Please stop that. You know how ticklish I am!"

10/09/22 19:03:13

Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

"Are these your teeth Dave?"

"No, they're Phillips."

10/09/22 11:03:53

Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

Farmer of the bride

10/09/22 7:00:09

Ian M Vote score: 477Ian M

"...so yeah, my wife left me"

08/09/22 19:53:10

Nigel Marshall Vote score: 2161Nigel Marshall

Pearl harbour

08/09/22 12:03:30

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 25306Vanessa the Guesser

Online exclusive - all garden ornaments 15% off

07/09/22 7:27:49

Glad You Remember Vote score: 3538Glad You Remember

I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ri e my bike
I wa t de y b ycle
I w t o ri it w er I l ke

03/09/22 19:08:54

James Lennox Vote score: 27318James Lennox

"Give me your basket, bitch!" demanded Little Red Riding Hoodlum.

26/08/22 7:11:50

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

As backdrops go, this was hard to beat.

23/08/22 19:00:13

Clever comment beat the carpet which is the backdrop --Julia Fell
Biggy L Vote score: 194Biggy L

The stairs were in need of a reFurb

22/08/22 19:14:56

Tony S Vote score: 13392Tony S

"Do you have my PIN? My nappy keeps falling down."

19/08/22 7:20:35, edited: 19/08/22 8:28:57

Dot Old Vote score: 3222Dot Old

... it became the world's number 2 bestseller

18/08/22 7:21:28

James Lennox Vote score: 27318James Lennox

"Well, those seats are novel."

16/08/22 7:04:17, edited: 16/08/22 7:08:51

Tony S Vote score: 13392Tony S

I told you not to puts the whites in with the navy.

08/08/22 7:23:10, edited: 08/08/22 7:35:30

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

CHAPTER ONE

Have you tried turning them off and on again?

06/08/22 19:00:48

Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

I guess I'm not the only one who finds jeans too tight around their hippos.

04/08/22 8:17:18

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8981Crunchy Chords
.                                           . "Right, Ive ferried you across, now Ill go back for the grain and the wolf...  ...but I dont think this is going to work."

26/07/22 19:20:47, edited: 05/08/22 0:14:36

Tony S Vote score: 13392Tony S

When it's about 80 degrees you always end up in the pool.

26/07/22 11:03:42

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

"Come on, you can't loaf around in bed all day!"

24/07/22 7:16:27

Craig Eddsenior Vote score: 2415Craig Eddsenior

Olga was an expert at holding a conference.

23/07/22 11:03:12

Dave E Vote score: 1009Dave E

Codzilla

22/07/22 11:08:58

Glad You Remember Vote score: 3538Glad You Remember

During Elton John's Las Vegas residency, he never worked out why there was someone booing during Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me.

10/07/22 11:48:53

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16881Hercules Rockefeller

Looks more like a Christler.

05/07/22 19:38:34

Tony S Vote score: 13392Tony S

Dave wins least offensive MP of the week award.

03/07/22 11:08:56

Vivvy En Vote score: 17307Vivvy En

No, I would NOT like the matching trousers.

02/07/22 7:47:07

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

"What's this - 'Rex woz 'ere 10/01/22'? Blimey, that's some strong piss."

01/07/22 7:12:37

C CaMel Vote score: 20307C CaMel

Just some pictures from my trip

30/06/22 11:04:29

Glyn Evans Vote score: 13593Glyn Evans

"E.T. no go home"

29/06/22 11:00:08

Craig Eddsenior Vote score: 2415Craig Eddsenior

Cones on hard shoulder

24/06/22 7:00:17

James Lennox Vote score: 27318James Lennox

"...and this is a 5 month pregnant woman balancing a Jacobean nursing chair on her chin."

Some people take shadow puppetry too seriously.

23/06/22 19:30:52

Cheers, Al. I reckon this would be a great month for Chris to do something totally spontaneous and pick a winner from the middle of the pack ;)  --James Lennox
Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

''There's a bit of a country feel to my next song. It's 'Old MacDonald Had A Farm'.''

21/06/22 12:06:47

James Lennox Vote score: 27318James Lennox

"At the time of the explosion the seat was up, so we know the perpetrator was a male. Sticky finger marks suggest he was right handed. And judging by the shoeprints we can tell he wears a size 9 1/2."

"Very good, Watson, but you're missing one important fact."

"What's that, Holmes?"

"This is Caption.me. The perpetrator was obviously Dave."

20/06/22 20:53:21

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

Turd degree burns.

20/06/22 19:00:50

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

As a tribute to the years of thankless service, Libyans erect a touching memorial to Colonel Gaddafi.

19/06/22 11:31:55

Vivvy En Vote score: 17307Vivvy En

Haircutting: In Three Easy Steps

18/06/22 7:13:24

Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

Auf Wiedersehen Pet

16/06/22 7:15:46

Greg Curtis Vote score: 9513Greg Curtis

"...bad news for rug addicts."

14/06/22 8:24:33

Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

''If I've broken the bird flu rules, I sincerely apologise. I didn't realise it was a party. I always dress like this when I'm working in the farmyard. I now want to draw a line under everything and move on. It's time to get back to the serious business of egg laying. That's what the public wants me to do and that's what I'm going to do.''

07/06/22 19:53:08

Mark England Vote score: 24368Mark England

The face you pull when you realise that the light bulb is swinging back towards your nuts

06/06/22 19:33:25

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

🎶 Wake Up Little Suzi 🎶

24/05/22 21:20:32

Tony S Vote score: 13392Tony S

Constipation can cause a change to your ring tone.

24/05/22 11:07:20

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 20809Dan Nicholls

Next on BBC1, we trace the ancestors of Keith Harris and Orville in Toowit too who do you think you are?

11/05/22 19:24:02

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15863Chris Keegan

Debbie and Ray are so pleased the warmer weather has arrived, they can finally afford to eat today.

09/05/22 11:01:30

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

"Oh, gosh! A maggot!"

07/05/22 11:00:10

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

"You're FINE, Jenny! Now get your clothes on, you're going to school!"

04/05/22 7:00:55

Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

More Russian assets frozen.

02/05/22 11:38:28

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

"We honeymooned at Centaur Parks."

30/04/22 19:00:09

stoneface1 Vote score: 1936stoneface1

Unfortunately, later that day, Dave was eaten by a cow.

29/04/22 7:13:49

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

Weapons of Mass destruction.

19/04/22 11:00:07

C CaMel Vote score: 20307C CaMel

“Maybe we should get a taller decorator next time?”

12/04/22 7:05:05

Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

BREAKING: COST OF LIVING CRISIS HITS ESSEX GIRLS

''It was either share a meal or cut down on cocktails.''

11/04/22 11:13:11

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 16411Neil Mackenzie

Dave you spoil that ferret.

10/04/22 11:23:05

Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 18695Scrijjy Doo

Did Will Smith hit you hard?

09/04/22 5:46:13

Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

''I knew I should have taken the train.''

05/04/22 7:24:34

Glad You Remember Vote score: 3538Glad You Remember

"Oh my god. I can read!"

05/04/22 7:20:18

Al Overy Vote score: 22765Al Overy

Caution: May contain mutts.

02/04/22 15:45:55

Glad You Remember Vote score: 3538Glad You Remember

"You admiring my motor?"
"No, I'm mentally adding an apostrophe."

27/03/22 11:08:51

Is that you Anon? --Neil Mackenzie
stoneface1 Vote score: 1936stoneface1

Mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow
and everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go

Which she later regretted. Especially when she qualified for the winter Olympics.

27/02/22 12:17:10

Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

"I'm trying to eat more fibre."

27/02/22 8:01:19

Tony S Vote score: 13392Tony S

The way the owner described it I thought it would be a lot bigger

22/02/22 8:17:30

Maybe it's because of the cold water. --Willie Johnson
Stephen Bean Vote score: 54785Stephen Bean

"Bloody Parkinson's, there goes another one!"

21/02/22 20:21:00

Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

''Sadly, I was too late baking the cake. There was already a bun in the oven.''

20/02/22 8:28:02

James Lennox Vote score: 27318James Lennox

"Dad, I can't breathe!"

"Son, shuffle back and give your sister some room."

18/02/22 8:50:49

Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

''If you've paid, why aren't you wearing a wristband?''

17/02/22 20:17:16

Tony S Vote score: 13392Tony S

"That's 3 days you have been there now lads , I really don't think those girls are coming back from the toilet."

09/02/22 8:16:09

Dave Bryan Vote score: 41293Dave Bryan

TWO MINUTES EARLIER:

''I want a balloon. I want a balloon. I never get a balloon. Please let me have a balloon.''

TWO MINUTES LATER:

''Can somebody carry it?''

08/02/22 8:17:45

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