best earliest latest latest and best captions

Lemon entry my dear Watson

07/10/25 19:01:49

clever

"Crap, I forgot the keys."

28/09/25 11:04:37

lol creative x2

"Dear Battersea Dogs Home, we have decided we won't be bringing in Rover after all. We have decided to keep him as he is a very well behaved dog that has never bitten anyone in his life" *Send*

22/09/25 19:11:00, edited: 22/09/25 19:11:23

When you arrive at the vets and realise you're about to lose your balls.

04/09/25 11:02:54

"Honestly officer, I haven't seen any traffic cones"

28/08/25 7:42:29

clever

Missunderhood

21/08/25 11:00:39

clever

Shoeshi.

14/08/25 11:01:30

creative clever

When you turn up to the sharia law court charged with theft you have to admire their sense of humour.

03/08/25 19:16:05

Melania confirms that it's a long time since he got laid.

01/08/25 7:04:21

lol

🎵 Ronald, Where's Your Troosers? 🎵

29/07/25 7:05:33

lol

''I'm not being sarcastic, Sandra. I just thought you did well to park the car inside the two white lines.''

26/07/25 11:39:04, edited: 26/07/25 11:58:57

Here comes the tide.

17/07/25 19:01:17

When you forget to take your handcuffs to work.

14/07/25 11:02:54

clever

🎵 Here comes the pun.🎵

04/07/25 7:03:20, edited: 04/07/25 7:06:47, suggested edits

Dump truck

28/06/25 11:00:56

lol x2

''That's odd,'' thought nan. ''Usually the kitten plays with the wool while I'm knitting.''

27/06/25 11:18:29, edited: 27/06/25 11:35:06

Passing the buck

25/06/25 7:01:33

lol clever

No I can't do it I have no bloody fingers.

24/06/25 7:32:14

Interkitty

05/06/25 7:01:27

Hawaii Fido

04/06/25 19:05:29

Knight Rider.

03/06/25 7:12:49

clever

She had to wear a sheet because she couldn’t get a big top.

28/05/25 7:18:33

clever

"What's wrong Dave ?"
"I'm just remembering the last time I was in this hospital for my vasectomy. "

25/05/25 11:10:44

lol

"Right, where's that wanker with the Pitbull?"

19/05/25 11:07:10

"No love, I can't find it anywhere. I've turned the place upside down."

15/04/25 19:07:14

Clown in the dumps

06/04/25 7:00:18

Lait for work again?

29/03/25 8:02:53

lol

Speedo Gonzales.

27/03/25 12:28:22

Good Mourning Britain

18/03/25 12:01:54

It was only then that Dave realised he'd forgotten the cage.

06/03/25 12:03:17

🎵 I'll get high with a little help from my friends 🎵

27/02/25 20:07:37

The reader of the pack

23/02/25 8:37:07

The suspect will not be released on bail, as he is considered a flight risk.

29/01/25 20:01:36

lol x3

Frankie Dettori's wife asks if he can pick up pint of milk after work.

29/01/25 8:54:19

"Clean up in Aisle 4 ... Bring a shovel."

29/01/25 8:08:00

"For f@cks sake stop giving him CPR . You know that now makes me King and you the queen,"

22/01/25 12:27:47

''Keep looking. It was a pound coin.''

22/01/25 12:10:17

The shirt alone would have done the job.

21/01/25 12:07:02

clever

When you get the lace in the wrong eye.

16/01/25 8:02:43

lol

Till Tuesday do us part

10/01/25 12:02:53

"May we play on the slide?"
"Knock yourselves out kids."

10/01/25 8:05:43, edited: 10/01/25 8:06:13

Tailor Swift

03/01/25 12:32:59

Jake was preparing for a post-apocalyptic world. Meanwhile, Liam was just hoping to open a pickle jar.

31/12/24 13:27:14

clever

Step sisters

30/12/24 8:01:32

creative x2

"So what do you think...should we get Venetian blinds?"

28/12/24 8:44:46

"What's Sponge Bob doing at the doorbell?"

"I don't know...wringing?

18/12/24 21:16:21, edited: 18/12/24 21:23:10

Snail's space

15/12/24 20:32:51

Plane stupid

11/12/24 12:00:45

A girl will bend over backwards for a guy who will tie the knot.

09/12/24 12:02:18

"Just a little bit off the topiary, thanks."

03/12/24 8:01:09

clever

Supermarket Sleep

28/11/24 20:01:12

Tom Pérignon

24/11/24 8:06:32

clever

Do you know what we do to rats?

17/11/24 12:05:28

I think they are horrible repulsive creatures but my wife wanted to have kids.

09/11/24 20:04:35

🎶 I’m aviary woman 🎶

08/11/24 8:02:36

clever

He snuffed it

30/10/24 12:00:38

clever

When you get Heather Mills for Secret Santa.

19/10/24 7:02:32

“You won’t be able to walk for a few months…”

17/10/24 11:12:47

lol

"Flightless my arse."

14/10/24 7:04:51

She'll get her knees grazed if she's not careful.

09/10/24 11:02:00

"It's bleedin' uncomfortable."

06/10/24 7:41:42

"I can't wait to go sniffing around Uranus."

02/10/24 11:02:32

lol

It's that joyous feeling when you start losing weight and your clothes feel baggy

28/09/24 7:30:28

lol

"Could you hurry it up, my knees are killing me."

19/09/24 11:11:33

"Why have you stopped ?"
"The little green man is flashing ."

17/09/24 19:20:04

“I prefer the penne whistle.”

16/09/24 19:23:17

Trump was right. They're eating cats.

12/09/24 11:02:18

"That's her fourth husband on the trot."

07/09/24 11:02:48

Chimply Red

02/09/24 11:04:04

Fairytales are great and all, but finding accommodation is a right bitch when you marry a mermaid.

23/08/24 7:14:01

Dave always did his best to help Jane with her obsession for making shadow elephants.

20/08/24 7:17:09

clever

Well, she has got mousey hair

18/08/24 11:07:39

lol x2

“Wait, what if I remove a redundant secondary sort from the SQL query? That could give me a massive load performance improvement!”
“Ohh, I love it when you talk dirty, Chris Beach.”

15/08/24 19:02:08

Star Trek: The Text Generation

30/07/24 19:02:46, edited: 30/07/24 19:03:23

Blazing Sandals.

29/07/24 19:01:22

Wrap artist

28/07/24 11:13:33

That's all Volks.

26/07/24 7:12:26

lol

🎵 Who let the logs out? 🎵

19/07/24 7:17:12

"OK, get off, kid. It's your big sister's turn."

10/07/24 7:03:44

Chew lips

20/06/24 19:03:31

clever

"Come on, you are going for a ride in our police car."

"I hope it's electric."

18/06/24 7:15:01, edited: 18/06/24 7:57:55, suggested edits

clever

"I'm not losing any more!" said Little Bo Peep.

16/06/24 11:23:16

lol

We weren't sure if this would work, so a couple of hamsters agreed to be guinea pigs.

15/06/24 19:16:14

Man's chest friend

12/06/24 19:01:20

Login

11/06/24 11:05:50

clever

Ash Test Dummies.

03/06/24 19:05:03

"Fill 'er up."

30/05/24 11:03:23

clever

Flabby Road

29/05/24 11:37:19

"Very impressive sir, but the sperm bank is across the street."

26/05/24 7:22:15

"What a dilemma" thought Dave. Sitting there with his Arachnophobia, a carton of milk, a spoon and a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.

25/05/24 7:17:26, suggested edits

Unhappy meal

16/05/24 11:08:18

Conclusive proof that too much fruit gives you the runs.

14/05/24 7:06:08

creative

"Um... just cover it back up," said Tony Robinson.

13/05/24 19:20:44

🎵 These roots were made for walking...

07/05/24 7:37:02

Budgericar

04/05/24 19:00:37

Bling out your dead

04/05/24 11:18:55

lol

'I think my neighbour's a hoarder.'

26/04/24 11:12:10

lol

"Woken up with worse, I have"

25/04/24 19:09:21

Fed up with Debs stealing all the hobnobs, office staff took action.

23/04/24 7:04:16

lol creative

“……..…..and they all lived happily ever after……Now bugger off to bed.”

22/04/24 19:11:48