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Oli Blackwell

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captions

One for the rodeo.

06/09/12 12:28:04

Seconds later it was just a wrecked tangle...

09/06/12 11:42:48

Cistern Chapel.

21/09/12 9:17:01

Randicapped

13/07/12 20:13:09

Yes, 1000 smurfs died to make this outfit, but it looks fabulous.

28/09/12 12:41:11

Star Waltz

31/01/13 13:04:39

Yew-2.

27/09/12 20:20:27

The new Boeing hand-dryer. Powerful.

08/09/12 8:40:35

The vinyl frontier

17/06/12 11:35:42

And just behind them, the raft of Khan.

14/04/13 20:07:03

Ex-spired.

01/12/12 8:55:42

"Everybody freeze!"

20/11/12 12:15:28

creative

Shepherd's Pi.

15/06/13 12:09:19

Shepherd's Pi perhaps ? --Mark England

One poo under the cuckoo's nest

02/07/12 21:41:10

It took a while, but the Rolling Stones did gather moss eventually.

15/06/12 11:11:01

Boots of a leather flock together.

07/10/12 12:04:54

Sign on the other side of the bridge: "LOSE HEIGHT NOW. ASK ME HOW."

18/06/12 12:22:32

Inside the "Big Bovvered?" house.

19/11/12 13:13:56

The fat man appeared to be asleep, and Emilio the gardener did need a new pair of sandals...

04/09/12 14:20:37

Tesco value chops, thighs and bingo wings.

07/08/12 13:01:02

"Nobody puts Baby in a conifer."

15/06/12 7:19:07

Does my class look big in this?

08/12/13 9:13:00

This new model enables us to cancel services due to all imaginable conditions.

27/10/12 8:22:58

Something to tickle your tastebuds...

21/10/12 8:42:20

A sure sign that The Eagles have nested here...

27/09/12 20:22:24

"Ca-porcine-o"

23/09/12 16:07:10

"No, I said this WASN'T the photo to print on our family Christmas cards, you bloody idiot!"

23/08/12 22:11:33

"This cleaning product, captain - it's non-biological."

17/06/12 11:42:40

Godzilva.

03/01/14 20:16:47

If you think this is bizarre, you should see what happens when it says, "NO".

15/06/13 8:44:24

"They think it's all oven..."

16/05/13 20:21:58

Piranha-colada

26/02/13 21:53:33

Heroes in a halfpipe.

11/11/12 12:21:53

One swallow doesn't make Ann Summers.

14/09/12 23:49:37

"Wig on a rock down to Electric Avenue..."

08/09/12 23:39:43

"There's a brat in m'kitchen, what am I gonna do?"

28/07/12 11:21:24

Duracellulite Bunny

20/07/12 22:41:53

Just another beak in the wall

13/07/12 11:53:56

Deirdre prefered the Hare - he was fast and furious but never came first.

05/07/12 14:09:11

Underground commuting: Watch out for the bends

20/06/12 11:09:00

Snakes and Bladders.

19/06/12 23:35:06

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but the steamroller was no innocent bystander.

19/06/12 12:05:43

Wilson Thicket

15/06/12 11:16:03

Flatten screen TV

25/01/14 12:46:16

It's mannequin there.

23/01/14 22:31:54

"I look up to him because he is first class"
"I look down on him because he is second class"

06/12/13 14:20:58

Far from the gloom of Mordor, Sauron's time-share beach apartment.

27/11/13 23:45:59

The graffiti artist clearly suffered from Turrets Syndrome.

26/06/13 12:32:13

"...and that's the last one in. Now we leave her for 15 minutes, at the end of which her arachnophobia will be completely cured..."

03/05/13 21:10:18

ConjureTheMarket.com

15/11/12 12:18:48

Pork chops.

23/08/12 8:24:16

That's why mums go to Poundland.

07/08/12 12:53:45

Fifty spokes of grey.

06/08/12 18:33:48

Vi-kurious

30/06/12 23:22:21

Something barrowed, something blue.

18/06/12 22:06:15

"And all because the lady loves Milk Tray... And bananas. And noodles. And crisps. And sausages. And cheese. And bagels. And pickles. And jerky. And celery. And pastries. And..."

14/06/12 7:03:55

Encounters of the furred kind.

03/01/14 20:12:18

Tanya remained stoic, despite having been abandoned by the blue bird of happiness and found by the racoon of abject resignation.

04/12/13 22:03:13

"Well this is tedious," thought the racoon.

04/12/13 22:01:16

Herby.

01/12/13 0:56:34

"Tonight, on 'Date or Cremate?' ..."

22/11/13 21:16:20

"We only recognise 8 planets in this area"

25/06/13 20:46:50

🎵 I like big halibuts an' I cannot lie... 🎵

24/02/13 20:11:22

24/02/13 8:08:37

15/12/12 18:46:32

25/11/12 12:19:16

12/10/12 14:09:25

Suddenly the smell of fish and vinegar became overpowering.

29/09/12 9:38:07

Whinny-dipping.

28/08/12 18:22:42

"No, Barbara - there's no one else. Why would you think that...?"

18/08/12 8:46:21

"You cannot hangout here."

17/08/12 10:27:59

One cake. Ha ha ha. Two cakes. Ha ha ha. Three cakes. Ha ha ha. Four cakes. Ha ha ha. FIVE cakes. Om-nom-nom-nom...

18/07/12 20:40:10

Where there's muck, there's bras.

11/07/12 18:02:52

Against the lawn of gravity

07/07/12 8:43:40

Beg, steal and barrow

18/06/12 20:55:52

Gone flawed van, damn.

18/06/12 12:17:58

Bush - Live and Unpruned

15/06/12 11:26:25

This most certainly is not the droid I was looking for.

04/12/13 8:14:54

Against type.

03/12/13 12:59:57

Page 234 in the not particularly popular, "Big Book of Using Things That Are Not Deoderant As If They Were Deoderant"

03/12/13 12:58:47

Bloke in background: "I made a shedload of vol-au-f***ing-vents and nobody's even touched them. B***ards."

01/12/13 18:59:04

I f***ing love this caption! --Michael Winner

"Ask not for whom the bill tolls..."

22/11/13 21:17:38

The lambs gambled happily across the meadow.

15/06/13 12:12:53

"Sounds like it was a good night... Anyway, the real reason I wanted a quick chat: Janet says she's leaving me."

17/04/13 18:51:39

Brilliant! --Michael Winner

The moment before the late Huo Cheng took the photo that won the National Geographic best photo of 2013 award.

02/03/13 7:31:39

Grandalf the very dark grey.

10/02/13 8:58:26

Stepettoe, the toymaker

26/01/13 8:54:52

Canine-stipation.

05/01/13 10:51:37

Mini-Meatloaf

31/12/12 13:20:43

The Union Inn, famed for its jingo nights.

05/12/12 9:20:51

Grim sleeper.

01/12/12 8:57:25

Got any knuckle sandwiches?

19/11/12 13:11:24

Kirk's Drift.

17/11/12 20:57:39

Clash of the tri-tans.

10/10/12 8:44:22

Jim had swung his axe at the tree for hours, and still nothing...

27/09/12 20:27:19

They're selling like hot pants.

24/09/12 14:48:04

"IKEA, little silhouetto of a bench..."

21/09/12 15:04:50

Jehovah's Weightwatchers.

31/08/12 17:02:18

101 perambulations.

27/08/12 8:09:57

Stream of consciousness.

09/08/12 11:05:08

more captions

last comments (total: 23)

I care about the Smurfs David... but we are a minority. I just wonder how the people who voted for this caption managed to sleep last night?

Tony Busby

29/09/12
10:36am

comment on caption:
Yes, 1000 smurfs died to make this outfit, but it looks fabulous. [Oli Blackwell]

Sometimes I have trouble sleeping when I'm thinking about the smurfs, but I find that if I gargle-mel before turning in, that helps.

Oli Blackwell

29/09/12
10:44am

comment on caption:
Yes, 1000 smurfs died to make this outfit, but it looks fabulous. [Oli Blackwell]

Personally, I find that a shot directly between the eyes is the best way to attain a pristine and unblemished smurf-pelt.

Michael Winner

29/09/12
1:22pm

comment on caption:
Yes, 1000 smurfs died to make this outfit, but it looks fabulous. [Oli Blackwell]

Perhaps just before retiring to bed so that you can be assured of a good night's sleep.

Tony Busby

29/09/12
5:15pm

comment on caption:
Yes, 1000 smurfs died to make this outfit, but it looks fabulous. [Oli Blackwell]

Brilliant!

Michael Winner

18/04/13
8:41am

comment on caption:
"Sounds like it was a good night... Anyway, the real reason I wanted a quick chat: Janet says she's leaving me." [Oli Blackwell]

Shepherd's Pi perhaps ?

Mark England

15/06/13
1:04pm

comment on caption:
Shepherd's Pi. [Oli Blackwell]

'Shepherd's Pi' is brilliant- definitely worth a vote from me :)

Michael Winner

15/06/13
8:44pm

comment on caption:
Shepherd's Pi. [Oli Blackwell]

Thanks very much both. Shouldn't really take credit for this caption - Mark is the one who made it shine. How I didn't spot it myself, I have no idea... smilie face

(caption author)

16/06/13
9:27am

comment on caption:
Shepherd's Pi. [Oli Blackwell]

The Pi is the clever bit. I would of never thought of that.

Mark England

16/06/13
3:39pm

comment on caption:
Shepherd's Pi. [Oli Blackwell]

I f***ing love this caption!

Michael Winner

03/12/13
1:31am

comment on caption:
Bloke in background: "I made a shedload of vol-au-f***ing-vents and nobody's even touched them. B***ards." [Oli Blackwell]

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Oli Blackwell

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last comments (total: 23)

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