For the love of God Victoria, please eat something.

08/06/12 19:06:33

For safety of other drivers I think we should put a few cones out.

12/07/12 10:18:32

For the last time PISS OFF. I am not Susan Boyle. She lives 2 doors down.

20/05/12 19:09:02

£50
WINNER

Anne Frank enjoys a nice day out.

21/12/11 11:05:34

Do you take plastic?

20/09/11 10:02:38

Worst Scooby Doo villain hiding place ever.

05/04/12 10:01:41

Even in Amsterdam the January sales threw up some special offers.

12/01/12 11:03:48

I spy with my little eye something beginning with F.

08/06/12 10:02:49

Get off the road ya muppet.

04/10/11 10:03:28

Klaus the German sports fan stakes his place at the finishing line to the 2012 Olympics marathon race.

22/03/12 11:15:31

Tim waits for snow man

02/03/12 20:27:01

Frank, give us a hand, Jack has got his head stuck in the shopping trolley again.

10/12/11 20:03:25

Scottish syndicate wins £5 in the lottery.

06/06/12 20:50:14

Jack brings his concrete surf board into the Dragons Den hoping for a £100K investment for a 2% stake in his company.

15/05/12 10:10:42

Geppetto hoped it was only a phase Pinocchio was going through.

06/09/11 10:48:38

Rangers unveil ambitious plans for a new stand at Ibrox.

06/05/12 10:01:02

I hear you are a swinger.

24/03/12 11:01:41

We may need to call in Super Nanny.

09/01/12 11:02:52

Do you take plastic. Yes and rubber.

30/12/11 20:03:54

Frank was so ugly even the tide wouldn't take him out.

03/10/11 11:51:53

Do you have protection?
Ya, I'm doing you in the shade of a tree.

31/07/12 10:03:09

Residents in that part of Geneva where The Large Hadron Collider passes could tell when it was switched on.

10/04/12 11:43:24

....You took a fine time to leave me loose heel......

21/01/12 11:13:11

I swear to God I posted that caption before I read the other ones.

05/01/12 20:15:18

Do you fancy a bone?
No, I have a headache.

07/08/11 10:06:17

Quackadder

27/07/11 10:05:06

Finding Nemo just became a whole lot easier.

30/06/11 7:56:34

HeBrew

23/05/11 10:01:48

Did you pack this luggage yourself sir?

30/07/12 19:29:33

Ahh fuck, here comes Michael Barrymore.

19/07/12 10:56:25

It's not yew, it's me.

08/07/12 19:05:54

"Can I get 2 hake and a mackerel please?"
"20 past 3 love."

22/06/12 19:44:15

...and i would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those pesky meddling kids

08/03/12 11:08:28

Text the sheep will you and tell them to come down off the hill.

07/08/11 10:11:58

For goodness sake Maureen. Not every seat you sit on has a commode.

20/06/11 10:11:26

trust me, it's what your grandmother would have wanted.

13/07/12 19:16:23

Sorry lads, can't let you in, no open toe sandals.

28/04/12 19:03:31

Frank, did you leave the landing light on again?

23/01/12 20:28:15

Ebay, the early days.

18/01/12 20:08:14

Katrina and the Waves

18/12/11 11:44:11

The staff at the Russian doll factory are given a well earned day out.

07/12/11 20:35:21

He just fell in with the wrong cloud.

08/09/11 10:31:39

Hello Room Service? I hope you have a pen.

01/09/11 10:03:38

Frank, you better put some toilet rolls in the fridge.

25/08/11 10:00:54

In hindsight, Jesus regretted not opting for the lethal injection.

21/08/11 14:31:57

Traffic island

29/06/11 10:01:25

I'm OK as long as they don't bring back the pole tax.

01/05/12 11:25:05

A bird in the hand is worth a poo in the bush.

14/04/12 10:28:16

A young James May never turned his nose up to free top gear.

09/03/12 20:12:48

Maureen, why are those donkeys crying?

08/03/12 20:11:56