Ian Mclaren

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	lol x2 All those who want to learn how to swim put your hands up. 17/08/14 19:04:37	22

	creative x3 Ani-mating. 20/03/13 13:19:15	3 22
"see 12:13:43 and 12:47:38" Aw c'mon, thats very nit picky? ani-mating is a play on shagging, the other two don't make the 'mate' part of animate meaning anything other than it's original meaning. --Spud Gunn
	lol Ladies in waiting. 06/04/14 11:01:29	20

	Jugs like that. 02/12/12 20:07:27	1 19

	Better call a joiner. 10/06/12 10:00:32	19

	Five miles to the galleon. 16/05/12 19:03:15	19

	Hanging Gardens of Boobylon. 01/09/14 11:02:00	18

	Good throw Sir,you keep what you ring,take her home. 22/08/12 7:48:55	1 18

	It's abattoir day tomorrow girls,want to buy one of my nine lives. 17/06/13 11:10:26	1 16
Girls? They're cows ... hehe(unless you are from Hull in which case "Girls? They're supermodels ... hehe") --Spud Gunn
	Nobelt prize winners. 07/06/14 19:08:15	15

	There's no such thing as an ugly millionaire. 26/07/12 10:02:40	15

	It's from your wife,she wants a divorce. 31/05/12 19:05:28	15

	Walls have gears. 05/05/12 19:02:38	15

	Little squirt. 30/12/11 11:00:59	1 15

	This way for a Jolly Rogering. 13/11/11 11:02:54	15

	Don't speak to him dear I know his type. 03/07/14 11:38:02	14

	Man-hat-on-avenue. 05/06/14 8:16:35	14

	Mary is between a rock and a hard place. 14/03/12 20:47:40	14

	"It's always good to meet another mason. 11/07/14 19:04:33	13

	Sleeping policemen don't slow traffic down so much as sleeping policewomen. 23/05/14 19:08:06	13

	Workers look in vein for the gas leak. 13/04/14 12:00:55	13

	If I can catch you Sir I suggest you give up Formula One racing. 21/05/13 19:02:42	13

	Soup of the gay. 09/04/13 11:19:13	1 13
What's for the main course, mince? --Paul Woolley
	creative As always politicians turn their backs on the truth. 07/01/13 12:05:40	13

	Disc Jock-ey. 05/10/12 11:04:33	13

	Tim Foil. 10/05/12 10:02:03	13

	Joe has worked hard all his life to keep a roof over their heads. 11/06/14 8:09:30	12

	Well where do you think the white smoke comes from. 24/03/13 12:15:22	12

	Guns 4 higher. 12/08/12 19:01:03	1 12

	Half hay house. 30/07/12 10:07:30	12

	Working flat out. 11/07/12 19:08:55	12

	Get out and don't come back until you're drunk. 05/06/14 11:03:23	11

	The door is wide open I bet it's a honey trap. 17/05/14 19:26:20	11

	I think this prisoner is past his cell by date. 18/02/14 12:13:37	11

	Unfortunately Tom was a leg man. 29/05/13 11:24:50	11

	No I do NOT take plastic. 06/04/13 19:07:35	11

	Turbot charged. 24/02/13 20:05:55	11

	Chest freezer. 17/11/12 20:02:58	11

	Newcastle under lager and lime. 12/05/12 10:09:11	11

	Pass me that encylopedia Doris,I've got a bit of swatting to do. 31/08/11 10:07:51	11

	Light reading. 29/08/14 11:02:48	10

	I should have guessed that at just Â£5 the Speed Dating would be below average. 13/07/14 11:06:08	10

	Bed of ales. 14/06/14 19:00:40	10

	Be careful my crown's a bit loose. 23/04/14 11:02:50	10

	Who is that big guy at the end of the queue?.....It's Desperate Dan. 28/03/14 20:09:14	10

	Every army base has an orderly room and a mess. 02/11/13 12:03:08	10

	Solly no understand...only speak Mandarin. 25/07/13 19:06:39	1 10
Seems like something he'd actually say. I do like word play but enjoy it more when the captions flow from the character. Nice job! --Greg Curtis
	The nuns make a big effort for Ash Wednesday. 24/03/13 12:02:50	10

	Arson. 12/02/13 20:01:36	1 10
Arson fire? --Michael Monkhouse
	Roger is very shelf conscious. 06/01/13 12:04:58	10

	Circumvision. 18/12/12 20:06:01	10

	The postman never rings twice. 07/09/12 19:08:28	10

	Peek district. 06/07/12 10:05:36	10

	Rear window. 23/06/12 10:00:27	10

	Flower tot. 14/05/12 10:47:20	10

	He wins Spot the Ball every time. 13/05/12 10:08:31	10

	"Hello is that the Hilton hotel? Good you make me a reservation please." 14/08/14 7:45:51	1 9

	Springfellows night club. 11/08/14 15:07:25	9

	We're doing a merger with The Body Shop. 18/05/14 19:03:26	9

	I spy with my little eye something beginning with MH37...... 16/03/14 12:03:49	9

	Sorry Sir I don't care who your father is you can't walk naked along the High Street with that cross. 11/11/13 12:03:30	9

	I hope you come quietly. 17/08/13 11:12:16	9

	Monster Raving Loony party annual conference. 07/02/13 12:02:48	9

	Brief jog. 14/01/13 12:04:33	9

	Ship a la Hoy. 25/09/12 11:04:50	9

	Penthouse suite. 03/09/12 11:00:51	9

	Gashole. 04/07/12 10:04:49	1 9

	OK love, I've found the problem......Switch on. 08/01/12 20:03:39	9

	Creature from the Black Saloon. 25/11/11 11:38:44	9

	Splash Gordon. 26/09/11 10:08:38	9

	Nicker Bobby Glory. 18/08/11 10:02:05	9

	"Come in boat number 9.".."We don't have a boat number 9."..."Then boat number 6 is in trouble." 13/08/11 10:16:19	1 9

	Antiques Road Show. 12/09/14 11:05:02	8

	"Waiter there's a fly in my pasta." 08/08/14 8:28:47	8

	"I'll get you to the church on time dear the next bus is due in 22 minutes." 25/06/14 11:05:03	8

	The driver was mortarfied. 16/04/14 11:10:43	8

	Hookers this way. 20/01/14 12:02:07	8

	Eye came Eye saw Eye concreted. 18/10/13 19:17:48	8

	Join the revolution. 20/06/13 7:53:11	8

	Trojan Norse. 29/04/13 11:02:35	8

	Fish and pips. 26/02/13 20:05:03	8

	Cyril prevents another Wall Street crash. 06/10/12 11:18:23	8

	"Do you get much sex these days Betty?"......"Infrequently"......"Is that one word or two?" 17/08/12 11:53:47	8

	I don't fancy yours......or mine. 27/07/12 10:02:52	8

	Egg poacher. 17/04/12 10:08:34	8

	For Sale.....Recently detached villa. 14/12/11 11:05:54	8

	OK so you were dumped by a girl with a big top,but I believe her flat mate is very nice. 21/10/11 11:14:55	1 8

	What do you mean...wrong pub. 05/10/11 11:02:03	8

	This week's missing captions turn up. 23/09/11 10:10:36	8

	Police order take away. 24/08/11 10:06:47	8

	The grapes of Cath. 24/07/14 11:02:18	7

	Don't worry I don't want any food...I'm stuffed. 17/05/14 19:05:07	7

	Take a tip from the Grim Reaper. 05/05/14 7:54:49	7

	I've never tried a Wotsit but I'll have a stab at one. 06/04/14 19:06:58	7

	Dulux dog. 28/02/14 12:07:41	7

	There's no such thing as an ugly billionaire. 05/06/13 19:03:38	7

	Stringfellows. 04/06/13 11:02:49	7

	Suspendered animation. 30/03/13 12:02:05	7

	Some nuns just can't give up the habit. 24/03/13 12:06:22	7

	Dead beat. 02/02/13 20:40:11	7

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