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Al Overy		"What? Can't a clown have a holiday?" 01/07/22 19:00:08	16

Kate Bailey		I was putting on my clothes this morning but I Gotham mixed up. 26/06/22 7:11:46	16

Scrijjy Doo		♫ ♬ ♩ There is... a mouse...in New Orleans...♫ ♬ ♩ 25/06/22 14:34:29	16

Al Overy		"This one goes out to all my friends at Social Services!" 21/06/22 11:00:24	3 16
Not "She's Leaving Home"? --Molly R
Al Overy		Tea Rex 21/06/22 7:00:26	16

Dave Bryan		''I don't think you're going to make it as a haidresser, Dave, but I do have a guy here from the village who needs his cottage thatching.'' 18/06/22 7:25:21	16

Stephen Bean		clever "Shame, I was hoping for some rumpy pumpy." 15/06/22 11:00:12	1 16

Vanessa the Guesser		"Pity, I just fancied a shag." 14/06/22 7:00:09	16

Al Overy		lol creative clever "This is where Willie Johnson would sit and quickly - yet considerately - vote for us all." Sob 13/06/22 11:01:31	2 16
Thanks caption author. Right back atcha. At least I have enough quota to vote for this. As for comment quota I don't have... (oops). --Willie Johnson
Craig Eddsenior		Shave the children. 13/06/22 7:46:23	16

Al Overy		"That's it, Su. You say 'back off, my lamppost', cock your leg and spray. Great job!" 05/06/22 19:53:20	1 16

Dave Bryan		''And that's how you work out your caption quota.'' 04/06/22 7:13:51	16

Al Overy		Looks like a sett up to me. 03/06/22 7:00:13	3 16
I said “ I collect badges” ! --Andy Bunting
Dan Nicholls		Christ! Has anyone carried out a whisk assessment? 17/05/22 11:06:35	16

Stephen Bean		clever Children should be seen and not hurled. 16/05/22 19:00:07	1 16
Nice play on the original caption, but still not a complete pun (makes sense both ways). --Willie Johnson
Dave Bryan		lol ALARM CLOCK RINGS ''It's twelve o’clock, luv. Can you keep yourself going for a few minutes while I go and post a caption?'' 14/05/22 11:00:55	1 16
Been there, done that. --James Lennox
James Lennox		"Honey, there's a problem with Rex's new glass eye." "Really? Don't tell me they got the colour wrong..." 08/05/22 12:53:13	16

John Glover		lol x2 "Bugger, there was no need for him to hit me, all I said was 'After you mate." 04/05/22 20:18:36	16

Dave Bryan		''Are prostate problems wrecking your confidence when urinating? Do your mates call you The Dribbler? If so, try attaching our new superjet nozzle and you too can pee like a twenty-year-old again. Walk down memory lane and piss over the five-barred gate at the end of it. Send for the superjet nozzle now and get free delivery: Only £299.00 while stocks last. This offer is not available in any shop.'' 18/04/22 7:30:22	16

Vanessa the Guesser		clever "Can I sit next to you?" "No, these seats are occupied." 16/04/22 7:24:14	16

Stephen Bean		clever Some dog Millionaires 06/04/22 7:44:56	16

Al Overy		"Did you drop Tilly at nursery like I asked you, Steve?" "...Drop, yes; like you asked me, not so much." 23/03/22 20:05:42	16

Stephen Bean		lol "The captain of Russia's women's water polo team is here to see you sir. She wants to know why you think they shouldn't be allowed to compete this year." 23/03/22 12:18:29	16

Stephen Bean		An Ale of Two Titties 15/03/22 20:15:01	8 16
It was the breast of times. It was the thirst of times. --Scrijjy Doo
James Lennox		lol "On the plus side, my hemorrhoids are gone." 12/03/22 12:00:56	16

Greg Curtis		clever Minor Inconvenience 08/03/22 12:02:56	16

Tosser Wivlov		Yep. Brakes on the tractor are fixed. 04/03/22 20:31:58	16

Dave E		creative That was the agreement - I act out "I'm a little teapot" and you do "Humpty Dumpty" 24/02/22 12:30:11	16

Al Overy		"Now, kids, what happens if we don't look both ways before we cross?" "KAPOW! SPLAT!" 13/02/22 12:08:22	16

Mark England		lol It seems cruel now, but back in the olden days, gingers were made to carry orange balloons, so that bullies could spot them from a distance. 08/02/22 8:09:55	16

Dan Nicholls		The bike test is really harsh in India. 8 examiners accompany you on the day. 02/02/22 12:08:25	16

James Lennox		Titanic 2: The Reunion 01/02/22 8:02:45	16

Vivvy En		clever The plight of the bumblebee 25/01/22 8:00:50	16

Neil Mackenzie		Quick you go that way and I’ll go this way. What good will that do? It will tell him to fuck off. 24/01/22 12:47:28	16

Tony S		The dad arrested for taking his child out on an electric scooter was later released with no charge. 21/01/22 20:27:46	1 16
He doesn't even have charge of his own kid. --Willie Johnson
Crunchy Chords		lol "Are you still glad that you refused to pay for a £5000 wedding dress, Daddy?" 14/01/22 20:10:11	16

Mr Dome		He must be a keeper 11/01/22 8:37:43	1 16
He knows how to keeper happy. --Willie Johnson
The Wolf		Watts new pussycat. 10/01/22 20:09:01	16

Tosser Wivlov		75% off. 26/12/21 21:09:19	16

Stephen Bean		lol clever Merde to measure 17/12/21 13:16:16	16

Vanessa the Guesser		clever I'm not giving you my waste measurements. 17/12/21 12:07:23	16

Al Overy		Pugsly immediately regretted starting the Zoom chat with his parents 10 minutes early. 10/12/21 12:00:41	16

Dave Bryan		🎵 It's my party and I'll lie if I want to 🎵 09/12/21 8:51:27	1 16
Everyone knows that Allegra has goneShe duly wept for her crimeWhy were they holding a bashWith cheese and presents and wine? --Glad You Remember
Vivvy En		"I'll have to go, I'm out of lolly." 05/12/21 8:05:07	16

Tony S		I'm not saying Lord Snootingdon has a large estate but when he tells his dog to fetch his slippers.... 03/12/21 20:18:25	16

stoneface1		"So I took two fish and five loaves and fed five thousand people." "Well I take really cheap end chicken, cover it in this dust crap I call my secret recipe, and sell it to millions of people a day." "Now that is a miracle." 02/12/21 8:02:31	16

Dan Nicholls		Billy Elliott: The Midlife Crisis 27/11/21 8:05:35	16

John Llamas		clever “Ahhh Tony, l remember when I was young catching crabs on this beach..” “You’ve got no worries on that front now Hatty” 25/11/21 12:06:07	16

C CaMel		#ding dong# “Will the owner of a large black horse please move your vehicle, it’s doing a massive shit by the photo booth, Thank you.” 22/11/21 8:29:24	16

Stephen Bean		"According to my calculations you've spent 43 hours on caption.me this week. What have you got to say for yourself Dave?" "Have you seen how many votes I have?" 20/11/21 9:06:50	2 16
Only 43 hours? I thought it was more. --Dave Bryan
Al Overy		"Do they normally play with those?" Sigh "Always." 19/11/21 21:13:49	16

James Lennox		lol x2 "Ma'am, I'd like to help fix your flat tyre, but I believe travelling alone in a high octane 6.2 litre V8 truck, when you could be driving a small electric vehicle, carpooling, or using public transport, is totally irresponsible and endangers the very planet we live on." "I'll show you my boobs." "Where's your jack?" 18/11/21 13:17:02	2 16
I'll show you mine if you show me yours. --Willie Johnson
Al Overy		The previous version had cauliflower ears. 13/11/21 8:32:21	16

Vanessa the Guesser		clever Today's rail replacement will be a Double Decker. 23/10/21 11:29:47	2 16
And it's better for the environment than going by Aero-plane. --Glad You Remember
Al Overy		The Furred Reich 22/10/21 19:00:09	1 16
Looking at this again, I have an urge to travel back in time and help that cat to succeed as an artist. --Glad You Remember
Michael Winner		Electrocute. 20/10/21 7:06:16	16

James Lennox		"Oh hell, not again. I wish your mother would tell me when she's pregnant." 19/10/21 7:20:26	16

Chris Keegan		Hi all, So many thanks for attending our first ever get together, it was fantastic to actually meet all of you. Framed prints of the attached are available online, please note there is an additional charge of £2 for the colour option. All the best, Chris Beach. 18/10/21 19:00:24	16

C CaMel		“You may have a sore arm for a few days madam, and so will I.” 14/10/21 7:19:21	16

Mr Dome		Ironically it turns out my hamster has a nut allergy 20/09/21 12:58:25	16

James Lennox		"Cut! This isn't working. Maybe we should try that laser sword idea after all?" 12/09/21 19:56:53	16

Tony S		clever "So what's the situation with the kid stuck in the vending machine?" "No change." 11/09/21 7:31:13	16

Al Overy		"U F.O." "That's my boy! You tell him!" 10/09/21 7:00:39	1 16
I'd guess the Dad hasn't seen what happened to the White House in Independence Day, but they should be fairly safe, he is carrying Damien from The Omen. --Glyn Evans
James Lennox		lol creative Users have been experiencing weird error messages when trying to vote for certain captions. To help identify the problem, please try voting for this test caption. [admin@caption.me.nigeria] 26/08/21 20:20:59	2 16
You won't fool me, I'm posting anonymously. The only thing I trust people from Nigeria with is my bank account number. [anon] --Willie Johnson
Al Overy		"Sarge! I think we've found where the clown's buried..." 25/08/21 11:11:52	16

Ian Skelding		Atomic Kitten 18/08/21 19:00:46	16

James Lennox		"What are you celebrating?" "Breathing!" 12/08/21 7:05:59	1 16
Having got through Covid, I can identify with that. --Molly R
Michael Winner		creative clever x2 "I've had it with these mtherfucking babies on this mtherfucking plain." 09/08/21 19:27:15	5 16
It's based on a line from "Snakes on a Plane", John: "I've had it with these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!"Interestingly, the movie was hyped up big time thanks to Samuel L. Jackson refusing to follow studio... --James Lennox
Vanessa the Guesser		She's a real church goer. 26/07/21 19:00:15	16

Michael Winner		After 1936, the Olympics committee removed the Hitler-salute-o-hurdle event. 04/07/21 11:00:10	2 16
It was heily irregular. --Al Overy
Vivvy En		"Here's some cream for it." 25/06/21 19:03:42	16

Troompa Loompa		"But then I'll have nothing to play a round with." 13/06/21 19:06:52	1 16

Mark Wilson		lol I don't fancy their chances of making it across the English Channel in that. 12/06/21 7:25:59	16

The Wolf		"Yes, I'll bring you a toilet roll, but next time can you text me instead of using Zoom?" 03/06/21 11:04:23	16

Vanessa the Guesser		"I think we're being followed by The Three Little Pigs." 31/05/21 19:24:32	16

Vanessa the Guesser		He'd never been the same since the split. 30/05/21 19:00:15	16

Ellen Duncalf		Can't pay nursing home fees? We'll take them away. Reasonable fees. Phone 01244 321546. 29/05/21 11:03:06	4 16
FFS that number is not recognised!! What a waste of my time --Mr Dome
Dave Bryan		''We had to abandon the race. When the greyhounds saw him they wouldn't come out of the traps.'' 29/05/21 7:03:15	2 16
Simple fix: put him behind the greyhounds. --Willie Johnson
Crunchy Chords
	23/05/21 19:00:25		1 16
How urgent are we talking here? Would calling 101 be better? --Glyn Evans
Dave Bryan		''E = mc2. I've cracked it!'' 21/05/21 19:00:09	16

Ian Skelding		Brad was trying to portray the fun, lighter side of the KKK. 21/05/21 12:00:55	16

Mark England		clever In every town on a Sunday morning, you will always see pigeons, pecking away at a discarded Chinese. 19/05/21 11:06:19	16

Ian Skelding		"What do you mean making me the Goalkeeper would be cheating?" 15/05/21 7:00:09	16

The Wolf		lol "So what treatments have you decided to go for?" "Flea and worm. You?" 13/05/21 11:28:11	2 16

Dave Bryan		''I'm booking you.......for the Inspector's stag do.'' 10/05/21 19:30:05	16

Dave Bryan		The captioneers' keep fit group meets every morning at 8.00am. 10/05/21 7:09:10	1 16
Mental gymnastics. --Willie Johnson
Dave Bryan		She is obviously not in favour of PC. 09/05/21 7:00:09	16

Al Overy		clever Today, Sesame Street is brought to you by the letters A, K and the number 47. 04/05/21 11:00:59	1 16

stone face		On her new single, Icelandic popstar, Bjork, duets with a camel. "It was really tough, getting my voice to blend in with the tuneless, guttural grunting. But am really pleased with the result." Said the camel. 04/05/21 7:01:17	1 16
Bjork you say? I was almost certain it was a young Maria Muldaur. --SnapDragon D
Ian Skelding		"She's out cold." 01/05/21 19:38:25	16

Mark Wilson		That's him Dad, he's the frog that threatened me 30/04/21 11:07:57	1 16
"It's alright son, that scorpion's already sorted him out" --Glyn Evans
stone face		clever One airline goes all the way. 26/04/21 7:03:42	1 16
And the other one (ironically?) has a layover. --Willie Johnson
Troompa Loompa		After the crucifixion, Jesus varnished for 3 days before his resurrection. 23/04/21 11:29:06	1 16
He took a real shellacking. Everybody thought he was finished. --Willie Johnson
Hercules Rockefeller		"What? The weatherman said to dress for the mid 70's today." 22/04/21 19:09:13	16

John Glover		"What do you mean, 'it's my weekend to have him', I'm in the middle of a bloody game!" 21/04/21 11:17:08	1 16
"Either way, you're not going to score." --Willie Johnson
Vivvy En		lol "You really should see a vet about that conjunctivitis." 20/04/21 13:08:41	16

Troompa Loompa		clever 🎵 S.W.A.L.K. like an Egyptian...🎵 20/04/21 7:50:34	1 16
How did I miss this? Great caption :-) --Nina Dutton
James Lennox		"Here's five bucks kid," said Tina from Doncaster. "It's been a while." 17/04/21 19:58:08	16

Vanessa the Guesser		She thought he was a good catch. 13/04/21 19:00:19	1 16
He'll do in a pinch. --Willie Johnson
Troompa Loompa		Club 18-30...stone 13/04/21 11:06:48	16

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