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	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	80	3	4	#7	19	70	#6	5706	15544	#17
Photos			1	#3		10	#6	299	774	#6
Comments	15	1	1		6	5	#4	1088	1690	#3
Forum Posts		2						53
Suggested Edits					1	1	#1	17	25	#2
Tips		1	2	#1				1	2	#9

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	4	#7	35	#14	9076	#27
Photos	7				840	#21
Comments	3	#1	6	#1	1844	#5
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits	1				19	#2
Tips					1	#4

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	"Yes, my paw has been stuck to the steering wheel. No, I'm not going to elaborate on the type of adhesive used." 28/11/20 8:42:50	11

	lol "Candy? Is that you?" "No." 22/10/20 21:36:25	11

	"Dear Mr. Beach, I have your daughter. She will be safely released after you change last month's winning caption to 'The Dali Llama'. Yours sincerely, Anon." 08/10/20 8:06:23	7 11
Sorry Glyn, it was just me pretending to be Stoneface pretending to be Anon, so the truth is still out there... --James Lennox
	At least the English version only has one mistake, the Welsh version is a right mess. 02/10/20 12:06:33	11

	"Well Karen, it's called a stiletto, and the things it's made out of are called pans." There are sexy wives, and kitchen wives, but poor Frank missed out on both. 24/08/20 20:27:24	11

	Don't you just hate it when some random idiot washes your windows, then expects to get paid? 23/08/20 8:06:39	1 11
"Will you pay him, honey?" "What?" "I mean, will you pay him honey?" --Willie Johnson
	"Darling, if you don't stop smoking then in 20 years you'll be dead!" "Well doll, in 20 years you're gonna look like your mother, so I'll take death." 16/08/20 20:24:58	11

	"Lassie, my hand is caught in the filter. Unlock the gate latch with your teeth, then open the door inside with your paws. Knock the phone off the receiver and tap 9-9-9 with your nose. When someone answers, bark out Morse code for S-O-S. Go girl!" "... woof?" 12/07/20 20:17:47	4 11
I love the new extended Director's Cut, but I'll leave it up to you Karyn. Edit: Glad you agree! :^) --Crunchy Chords
	It's always embarrassing when your anteater sneezes in public. 19/06/20 0:20:45	1 11
Even worse when he eats it. --Willie Johnson
	Typical, me and my mates were enjoying a nice day at the beach, then bang on lunchtime a f*cking Captioneer showed up. 28/05/20 12:03:46	11

	I told her not to insult my horse. 16/05/20 8:03:42	11

	Makes you wonder what she's doing with her other hand? 07/03/20 9:25:47	11

	You think head lice are bad, try having fire bugs. 02/02/20 8:39:43	11

	Ah, the hummingbird, the songbird's shy cousin. 31/01/20 8:24:20	11

	Due to a strict censorship doctrine all Japanese porn is pixelated. 14/01/20 12:23:38	11

	I think the hedgehog's been done to death ... but another ten minutes in the oven wouldn't hurt. 12/12/19 20:11:36	11

	clever I find myself strangely attracted to her, but maybe it's just gravity. 04/12/19 21:06:26	11

	I have a sudden urge to give Peace a chance ... twice. 28/11/19 8:02:02	11

	"Where'd that guy in the 'Homo Sex Leads to Hell' shirt disappear to?" 12/11/19 20:06:44	11

	"I'll give you a banana when you finish writing that complete works of Shakespeare." 28/10/19 12:15:47	11

	Sometimes my wife and I role play that she's a prostitute and I'm a horny client. This is a picture of me practising with a real prostitute. 07/10/19 12:46:09	11

	lol They warned us AI would take over the world, but when my smartphone became fully sentient it just decided to get its charging port pierced. 04/10/19 8:24:14	11

	🎵Paper-bike Rider🎵 01/08/19 8:01:01	11

	Just a regular day at the beach for Evel Knievel. 13/06/19 8:34:54	11

	"Look at that girl taking our photo over her shoulder. Weirdo." 20/05/19 8:09:41	11

	Ground Hog Day ... I feel like I've read this caption before. 13/05/19 22:51:52	1 11
Must have been on the grounds of the pork. --Willie Johnson
	The moment the Invisible Man realised he wasn't that special. 25/04/19 8:05:14	11

	Woolly Jumpers 25/03/19 20:00:21	11

	The rumour that King Midas died while masturbating turned out to be true. 13/02/19 20:29:48	11

	Eggs over Siamesey 29/03/24 21:25:40, edited: 29/03/24 23:23:24, suggested edits	1 10

	Boot's in Puss 24/03/24 20:00:30, edited: 24/03/24 20:03:32	10

	It caused quite a stomach ache, but 200 avocados and 5 buckets of sour cream later, Dave finally got her naked. 10/03/24 20:14:33, edited: 10/03/24 20:22:19	10

	lol I think the new menopause awareness campaign may be a little too abstract. 25/02/24 12:13:16, edited: 25/02/24 12:19:25	10

	World record attempt ruined by clumsy delivery boy. 17/02/24 12:00:53, edited: 17/02/24 12:05:44	10

	Most herbivores can eat meat, they just have trouble digesting it. 14/02/24 8:09:51	10

	"As far as OnAdventureWithDad situations go, this isn't that bad at all. I'm only cleaning up a little cocaine that got spilt when one of the strippers fell off a coffee table." 22/01/24 8:17:03	1 10

	Weird that Gran was against genetically engineered peas, rice, and cabbages, but she was all for cucumbers and corn. 08/12/23 8:02:15, edited: 08/12/23 20:26:59	2 10
Fine with me, caption author. --Karyn Harrison
	clever "Hellenistic statue ... pass it on." "Helen is tits askew ... pass it on." 02/12/23 20:25:16	10

	lol x2 "Build your own man! First part just 99p!!" subsequent parts £19.99 each 28/11/23 8:27:09, edited: 29/11/23 8:31:43	5 10
Only my opinion of course but I think the original "Build your own man!" caption is superb. --The Wolf
	creative "Thank-you, Sally, Sarah, and Susan, for that graphic representation of how pressure is created by tectonic plates." 24/11/23 8:29:22	10

	"Meet Li, and Lu, my trophy wives." 11/10/23 20:10:48	10

	Quarter Pounder with squeeze. 05/09/23 8:25:20, edited: 05/09/23 8:33:36	10

	"So, yes, the data confirms it. Dogs are more prevalent on caption.me than cats." 09/08/23 8:00:52	10

	"So, Stan, do you like it? Why don't you give the remote control a whirl." "Alrighty. Susan, go turn the television on." 25/07/23 8:04:17, edited: 25/07/23 8:10:15	10

	"I don't know why you're complaining, Dave. The three of us are doing all the work while you just hold the ladder." 27/06/23 8:09:38	10

	Disfigure Skating 02/05/23 20:16:12	10

	"My room number is 412. Bring wine." 13/02/23 12:00:14	10

	clever As Long As You Can Read All Of This You Have No Worries 19/01/23 8:01:13	10

	"Girls, sit on the right. Boys, on the left. Non-binaries, there's no such thing yet so tough luck." 09/01/23 12:07:14	1 10

	War and Peas 06/01/23 8:05:54	10

	"Could you please step aside, Susan, I'm trying to polish my pulpit." 22/12/22 8:29:51	1 10

	The Cybermen immediately regretted assimilating Elton John. 08/10/22 20:05:41	10

	As the nuns lined up to renew their vows of celibacy, Sister Mary practised crossing her fingers behind her back. 06/10/22 20:00:49	10

	lol Nothing's funnier than turning on your sister's electric blanket when you know she's a bed-wetter. 04/05/22 10:25:39	10

	"Phew, that was lucky," said Mr. Fox, as the javelin narrowly missed his arsehole. 01/03/22 8:17:27	10

	Dave loved birdwatching, right up to the moment his articulated lorry plunged into the river. 09/01/22 20:24:25	10

	lol Susan described reactions to her streak as 'disappointing'. 01/12/21 20:20:00	10

	Many people who give up captioning go on to live productive and fulfilling lives. 22/11/21 20:09:22	9 10
Hang on, people give up captioning? --Al Overy
	"Hmmn ... Human or salmon for lunch? I'm on the fence." 02/11/21 12:52:01	10

	Marketing really should have explained the term "bottomless cup" to manufacturing. 14/09/21 13:30:47	3 10
It looks more like water mixed with beans in the foyer, however that doesn't quite have the same ring to it. --Glyn Evans
	"How much is the stool?" "It comes free with the baby." 13/08/21 8:27:05	10

	"Emergency services, what's your emergency?" "Quick, help, my husband's having a heart attack!" "Ok, ma'am, can you check if he's breathing?" "Yes, I'll call you back in four hours." 31/05/21 12:00:14	3 10
* ma'am (Edit - unless of course it's her child on the emergency services line) --Mr Dome
	"Sis, what does per-ma-nent mean?" "Easy to wash off." 11/03/21 12:34:21	10

	"Who needs instructions mate? Let's just have a couple of beers and throw this Death Star together." 27/01/21 12:46:02	10

	Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. The second is joining caption.me 15/01/21 13:29:08	1 10
The third is writing about the signs of madness (just kidding). --Willie Johnson
	"Servicemen? Why yes, I do." 04/12/20 8:55:25	1 10
"But why do they have to be so army and knave-y." --Willie Johnson
	My God was I drunk last night. I hope I didn't do anything silly. 15/11/20 20:01:52	10

	"...then Dumbledore and Dobby moved to Fiji, and Harry hooked up with Hermione. The End." There, much better. 02/09/20 8:45:25	10

	clever Looks like she's joined the vile Hugh club. 31/08/20 20:22:21	10

	lol "How does a bunny keep his fur neat? With a hare brush ... What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line ... I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale ..." "Oh dear God mum, please make him stop!" 07/05/20 8:52:01	1 10
He'll rabbit on for hours. --John Glover
	"Toilet paper for a week! Yay!" 23/04/20 20:27:02	1 10
The Lord provides. --Scrijjy Doo
	My dog's just like me, he prefers it when somebody else licks his balls. 17/03/20 15:19:20	10

	Obviously she's not a natural blonde. 16/03/20 8:03:33	1 10

	If you're going to hump a table leg, it pays to get a good grip. 09/03/20 20:07:26	4 10
Thank you! :) --Karyn Harrison
	"Don't wear anything fancy, just keep it Loki." 01/03/20 12:43:34	10

	I've complained about endless comic book characters, gay pride parades, and black and white zoo photos, but right at this moment Kenneth, all is forgiven. 17/02/20 8:14:54	10

	You've had 164 profile views today. 04/02/20 12:40:28	3 10
That makes it even more funny. Well done.Out of curiosity: at what number did you start?:^) --Crunchy Chords
	The in-flight meal was good, but the desert was a little dry. 03/02/20 20:06:40	10

	How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb 28/01/20 20:04:10	1 10
It's a strange love, doctor.. --stone face
	Master forgers often leave a barely perceptible difference to identify their work from the original. 13/01/20 8:49:14	10

	"Quickly, to the Batmobilia!" 16/12/19 12:46:08	10

	Capuchin.me 28/10/19 12:00:11	10

	If anyone says Decaption.me I'll vomit. 28/10/19 8:00:46	1 10
Sick caption, sis/bro --Mr Dome
	lol Worst pirate costume ever. 25/10/19 12:23:49	10

	Shit, wardrobe malfunction ... send out the red spiky number as a distraction. 18/09/19 8:04:13	5 10
I wondered if someone would notice the arseless ensemble behind her. Good caption for it! :^) --Crunchy Chords
	Look closely, they managed to sneak a cat into this bike photo. 01/08/19 8:13:17	5 10
You must have BMX-Ray vision. --Dave Bryan
	Planning permission was put in for 12 of these identical houses, but for some reason they built 13. 30/07/19 8:31:02	10

	Turns out you CAN get too much liposuction. 27/06/19 8:41:08	10

	"Woman, bring me a working nipple, I can't get anything out of this one." 11/06/19 12:05:26	10

	Jesus of Nazareth 10/06/19 13:32:15	10

	"For a gynecologist you're spending a long time looking at my shoulders." "Sorry, I'm just building up my courage." 14/05/19 20:32:18	10

	"Hey Bill, why did we join this stupid society again?" "Shut up Harry, and remember the ratio. It's 6 to 1 mate." 03/04/19 9:14:20	10

	Ever since Joe lost his wife his hoarding became a major concern. They never did find her by the way. 16/03/19 12:50:52	10

	No wonder she used to stand over air vents. 25/02/19 20:06:05	10

	"Two happy meals, a ride on the carousel, and a romantic walk on the beach. If I don't get a snog out of this I'm giving up dating." 03/02/19 12:26:24	10

	lol Beware of rubber duckies. They're dangerous little bastards. 02/02/19 8:01:50	10

	"It's not the best shag I've ever had, but the tractor seemed to enjoy it." 09/04/24 8:10:32, edited: 09/04/24 8:14:05	9

	Jet Pack 02/03/24 20:13:50	9

	Speed humps 19/02/24 20:17:14	9

	"Did I ever tell you the funny story about when I used to operate the McDonald's meat grinder?" 23/01/24 20:12:16, edited: 23/01/24 20:15:25	9

more captions

last comments (total: 935)

He received a 21-pun salute off his friends on the caption site.

[anon]

11/04/24
8:26pm

comment on caption:
"...and so, as we commit Dave to the grave, we remember his great loves, machines of war, and tropical fish." [James Lennox]

I don't think any meaning of the word fast applies to her - unless she is stuck in her chair

Mr Dome

13/04/24
9:47am

comment on caption:
"Ok, as I can now see my arse, I probably was spinning on my office chair a little too fast." [James Lennox]

Chris, I think James's account's been hacked. ;)

Al Overy

21/04/24
8:09pm

comment on caption:
Squeals on Wheels [James Lennox]

Lol, AL. To be honest mate, I had a run of hard thought narrative captions score zero, so I thought, bugger it, I'll just do some cheap puns instead. I got more votes from these 2 than the rest of my week's body of work put together 😞

(caption author)

21/04/24
8:18pm

comment on caption:
Squeals on Wheels [James Lennox]

Hang in there, James! 🤗

Al Overy

21/04/24
8:19pm

comment on caption:
Squeals on Wheels [James Lennox]

Hoping the vote was for this version, Vivvy. I edited because I didn't think anybody would get the first version. Happily surprised anyone even got the revised one wink (If you did, will revert if not)