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This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
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Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
Captions | 75 | 18 | 69 | #4 | 18 | 63 | #9 | 5335 | 14155 | #18 |
Photos | 3 | #7 | 8 | #6 | 218 | 563 | #6 | |||
Comments | 14 | 3 | 1 | #3 | 6 | 9 | #3 | 1014 | 1557 | #3 |
Forum Posts | 2 | 53 | ||||||||
Suggested Edits | 1 | 1 | #2 | 1 | 3 | #1 | 6 | 9 | #1 | |
Tips | 1 | 2 | #1 | 1 | 2 | #9 |
This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
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Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
Captions | 33 | #8 | 39 | #17 | 8402 | #27 |
Photos | 11 | #4 | 2 | #10 | 734 | #24 |
Comments | 3 | #2 | 10 | #5 | 1716 | #5 |
Forum Posts | ||||||
Suggested Edits | 1 | #1 | 6 | #3 | ||
Tips | 1 | #4 |
captions
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"I'm trying to be sneaky here. Could you stop playing that bloody cello?" 01/09/23 19:02:48 |
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Love your caption James. You're gonna need a bigger vote 😉 --Dot Old
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"This is most embarrassing, but could you help? Somehow I've caught my penis in the fence." 18/07/21 11:55:41 |
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Many congratulations, James! I've been out of it a while with Covid and missed some pictures entirely, so this has come as a new delight. A very worthy winner! --Molly R
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23/03/19 8:46:34 |
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Haha. I don't mind chipping in a tenner for second place (it definitely will not be one of mine)!! Great caption. Genuinely choked on my toast. So thanks for nearly killing me! --The Wolf
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22/01/19 8:22:17 |
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Thanks Dave and everyone else. Chuffed to be on the board and loving the spirit of Caption.me. Will continue to represent the hobbits down here in NZ. Cheers all. --James Lennox
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*Ding* 13/01/23 12:10:08, edited: 13/01/23 12:31:58 |
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I agree with KT A. This is a killer. --Dave Bryan
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This public gathering is just asking to get Corona. 12/05/20 7:16:32 |
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Looks like the shit's hit the van. 16/07/23 7:23:55 |
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"Lord Vader, the Rebels are attacking. Perhaps you should change out of your pyjamas." 27/12/22 20:01:39 |
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18/06/22 7:00:31 |
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Cheers for the congrats, guys. I think I was lucky to pip Tony's one, so I'm very glad he got a 2nd place prize. A big cheer out to the caption.me contributors who have made this extra prize possible. And, as always, many thanks to Chris for the... --James Lennox
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17/03/22 8:01:22 |
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09/03/21 12:35:25 |
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...and along with the suit he was wearing. --Willie Johnson
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28/04/20 19:23:57 |
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First off, I'd like to thank the Academy ... no but seriously, thanks to Chris for picking #3 (I too preferred it to my other), and kudos to Smuldo for being equal #1. Thanks also to Mr. Dome for his "BeeSI: Miami", which forced me to edit my ... --James Lennox
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13/11/23 8:01:26 |
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Nice one ... It took me a while --John Glover
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29/04/23 7:05:06 |
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"Disaster here in the Paralympic eventing course as Wu Chan's wheelchair refuses to take that jump." 01/12/22 20:07:31 |
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"Gosh darn it," said Davy-Bob. "Nobody told me you could reload them." 12/12/21 12:08:44 |
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Javelins should only be thrown outdoors. 03/02/20 12:00:41 |
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The good news is she was standing just past the world record distance. --Willie Johnson
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15/10/23 19:13:01 |
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Best Captioneer a few weeks in a row and The Wolf gets all cocky. 28/09/23 19:17:44 |
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Yea I wanna C a Camel toe. --Karen McDonald
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I have a strange urge to whack her with an oversize rubber mallet. 17/11/20 9:17:11 |
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The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on. 31/07/20 7:09:57 |
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Some people shouldn't be allowed to raise children. 16/09/22 11:00:35 |
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Usually, they're called parents. --Glyn Evans
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"Perfect, my last batch was a little on the dark side." 29/03/22 19:28:20 |
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"I'm sorry luv, but Noah said I'm only allowed to bring one, and Nancy's got better tits." 06/04/21 11:26:41 |
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"Yes, but I don't think Nancy is the right monkey for you on this trip, Joan," said Percy. :^) --Crunchy Chords
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Harold always believed the son shone out of his arse. 27/08/20 7:00:40 |
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If dodos had been better jugglers they wouldn't be extinct. 08/02/20 12:00:17 |
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21/05/19 11:00:27 |
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It was a beautiful wedding, but the honeymoon in France didn't end well. 01/03/19 20:13:39 |
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17/08/23 19:05:32, edited: 17/08/23 19:06:03 |
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"Hang on, mum, we haven't tied the string round Billy's bad tooth yet." 18/12/22 20:43:09 |
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...and who can forget Dave's final words: 27/04/21 19:40:05 |
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"Pssst! Word of advice. Some Russians might take offence to this as they might see it as an insult to their National animal, however I know that you're talking about it's actual state of being. If you're urinal cake is glowing a funny colour o... --Glyn Evans
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27/11/20 8:36:38 |
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😂😂😂 I’ve since looked at a Kiwi bird on Images and now it all makes sense and it’s a brilliant caption. I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw what the Kiwi bird looked like. I am going to lol this caption because it’s funny and clev... --Karen Oakenfull
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Nobody makes better balloon animals than Dave. 29/09/20 19:15:41 |
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Always start with a blowfish --Al Overy
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Giving up smoking, diary entry day 23: Either I'm starting to hallucinate or my wife is a bitch. 03/03/19 20:47:18 |
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No she’s not, she menthol 🙃 --Karen Oakenfull
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"I thought after 80 years he'd have forgiven me for eating his porridge!" 29/09/23 7:05:07, edited: 29/09/23 7:12:23 |
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"I'm sure we've met, but I'm sorry, my short term memory is terrible." 22/09/23 7:03:59 |
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16/11/22 20:01:07, edited: 16/11/22 20:01:48 |
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"So God created Adam in His own image, which, strangely, was that of a 70s pornstar." 07/05/22 12:28:08 |
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14/12/20 8:05:11 |
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Barbie hasn't changed much in the last 60 years. Ken on the other hand ... 24/11/20 8:17:40 |
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Well that's interesting and disturbing Willie. I bet Ken's namesake had a fun childhood growing up as the kid who has a penis-less incestuous plastic doll named after him. --James Lennox
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Always buy your catnip from a trusted source. 08/09/20 13:23:56 |
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Looks like the match went to sudden death. 17/07/19 7:30:33 |
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07/11/23 8:04:00 |
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"And here's 4,999 I prepared earlier." 11/08/23 19:20:11 |
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10/08/23 19:47:41 |
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I guess the moral of the story is to be careful what's down under when you're Down Under. --Stephen Bean
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"Are you going to take the train, Dave?" 18/06/23 7:03:56 |
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"The worst thing about Great Floods," moaned God. "Is having to dry everything afterwards." 04/06/23 11:01:22 |
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01/01/23 20:00:20 |
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09/11/22 12:00:44 |
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What the hell is Sambuchino, and why is throwing it at gnomes a good defence? 31/08/22 7:10:06 |
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09/07/22 7:00:27 |
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"That's OK, you're swimming in our septic tank." 19/05/22 7:02:06 |
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08/10/21 7:08:37 |
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"Sorry to intrude, but could I please have my rubber bone back?" 19/07/21 7:07:59 |
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Sadly, none of the gospels recorded Jesus's performance of YMCA. 23/04/21 11:12:14 |
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Described by critics as 'rather wooden'. --Karyn Harrison
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22/03/21 8:04:11 |
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US politics are insane, General Lee speaking. 24/01/21 8:06:09 |
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12/04/20 7:01:39 |
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"... and then he took his shirt off and things started to get weird." 09/04/20 19:40:08 |
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No animals were harmed during the making of this picture, but some were highly pissed off. 25/03/20 8:07:25 |
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"No animals were harmed" - just someone's dignity. --Willie Johnson
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"Ok Dave, you create a diversion while I steal the mini." 09/01/20 12:14:25 |
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05/12/19 8:04:18 |
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02/09/19 7:57:49 |
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"One way or another Monsieur, you will leave a tip." 05/03/19 12:24:57 |
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15/02/19 20:16:18 |
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12/10/23 19:17:35 |
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13/08/23 19:31:47 |
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"Any last words, sir?" 04/06/23 19:52:29, edited: 04/06/23 19:55:29 |
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The did say his sentence would be suspended. --Tony S
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And in Dublin, the annual 'Swap you Wife for a Keg of Guinness' promotion kicks off. 04/05/23 7:01:19 |
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22/03/23 12:11:18 |
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"Hmmn, do you reckon we should put the 'Out of Order' sign at the bottom or the top?" 06/03/23 12:29:17 |
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"I think I'm gonna find a new Best Man, Dave. This Stag Do sucks." 09/02/23 12:17:23 |
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Despairing the inevitable onslaught of excruciating puns, the bananas chose suicide. 15/01/23 20:18:34 |
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Careful about giving in to the urge to make a banana pun. It's a slippery slope. --Willie Johnson
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03/12/22 8:21:53, edited: 03/12/22 8:39:07 |
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That poor dog :-D --Glyn Evans
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08/11/22 12:50:33, edited: 08/11/22 12:56:06 |
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08/05/22 12:53:13 |
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"On the plus side, my hemorrhoids are gone." 12/03/22 12:00:56 |
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01/02/22 8:02:45 |
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18/11/21 13:17:02 |
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I'll show you mine if you show me yours. --Willie Johnson
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"Oh hell, not again. I wish your mother would tell me when she's pregnant." 19/10/21 7:20:26 |
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"Cut! This isn't working. Maybe we should try that laser sword idea after all?" 12/09/21 19:56:53 |
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26/08/21 20:20:59 |
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You won't fool me, I'm posting anonymously. The only thing I trust people from Nigeria with is my bank account number. [anon] --Willie Johnson
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"What are you celebrating?" 12/08/21 7:05:59 |
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Having got through Covid, I can identify with that. --Molly R
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"Here's five bucks kid," said Tina from Doncaster. "It's been a while." 17/04/21 19:58:08 |
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"🎵 Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chamele..." 06/03/21 20:00:44 |
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Stop it, it's bad karma. --Willie Johnson
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It was Alvin's coke habit that caused the band to break up. 04/03/21 20:13:45 |
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Bloody Royal Mail. You post something 65 million years in advance and it still arrives a month late. 25/01/21 12:59:28 |
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17/12/20 20:34:15 |
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29/03/20 8:17:00 |
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Funny, I dated a vegetarian once and she didn't like little willies. 01/03/20 8:37:20 |
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"Good thinking Ahmed, this trip across the Sahara will be much better with air-conditioning." 16/02/20 20:03:32 |
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And in his spare time Spiderman helps Gulliver floss. 07/02/20 13:01:19 |
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I don't think it's a real car. It looks phoney. 02/11/23 12:04:02, edited: 02/11/23 12:21:47 |
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"Ah, here's your problem. You have a big red arrow stuck in your knee." 18/09/23 19:14:22 |
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That bloody Al Overy and his caption.me prizes. 10/09/23 7:04:13 |
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29/08/23 11:11:08 |
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20/08/23 7:32:52 |
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After that remark, your captioneer friends are going to buy you an ice cream. Erm. --Al Overy
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06/03/23 8:13:43 |
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"For Crissake, there's no need to call Social Services, the damn baby isn't even mine." 31/01/23 20:08:36 |
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"Nah, that's rubbish," said Walt Disney. "Let's try dogs and spaghetti." 01/11/22 8:00:55, edited: 01/11/22 8:04:08 |
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Disney are really cutting corners with their live action remakes. --Mark Cowling
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Congrats matey. Glad you won a prize because I absolutely loved the caption. Well deserved.
10:37am
comment on caption:
"I'm trying to be sneaky here. Could you stop playing that bloody cello?" [James Lennox]
Many thanks, guys. Gotta admit, my little heart dropped when I read Vivvy's caption and I knew there was some serious competition. Harder still having no choice but to vote for it because it was so good
Still, enough omphaloskepsistising, it's caption time.

PS: Special thanks to Karyn for the Find/Supervote, the Wolf for the SV, and Kate for providing the photo, and Chris, of course
6:56pm
comment on caption:
"I'm trying to be sneaky here. Could you stop playing that bloody cello?" [James Lennox]
Congratulations James, terrific caption and a deserving winner.
9:20am
comment on caption:
"I'm trying to be sneaky here. Could you stop playing that bloody cello?" [James Lennox]
Yes, make it the norm. It could be the norm. Please...
I could advertise for more photos of old ladies carrying umbrellas riding skateboards.
However I could be mistaken for a pervert so I'd better put a NOT A PERVERT disclaimer on the advert. Anyone submitting might think it's about them and I wouldn't want to discourage any old lady perverts carrying umbrellas whilst riding skateboards sending in photos as we need any and all old ladies carrying umbrellas and riding skateboard photos, no matter whether they're a pervert or not.
At least it'll be a change from cat porn 😅
7:50am
comment on caption:
Oh for God's sake, not another photo of an old lady carrying an umbrella while riding a skateboard! [James Lennox]
I'll see what I can do 😉
8:24am
comment on caption:
Oh for God's sake, not another photo of an old lady carrying an umbrella while riding a skateboard! [James Lennox]
LOVE it. (He's no Angel.)
2:31am
comment on caption:
"Ok, so the sawing in half bit could have gone better, and I'm sorry the rabbit didn't make it, but anyway ... TA DAA!!" [James Lennox]
A bit similar to 8:13:35. Not there when I started typing, but nods anyhoo.
8:19am
comment on caption:
"Yes, I do see that rubbish-bin icon beside my caption, and yes, I can take a hint." [James Lennox]
Nice one ... It took me a while
11:45am
comment on caption:
Mttens [James Lennox]
Sorry voters, edit was refusing to save. Hope your votes were for this version. If not I can revert.
12:10pm
comment on caption:
"Don't forget your seatbelt Artoo ... Artoo?" [James Lennox]
I liked both. Happy to go with your preference.
12:12pm
comment on caption:
"Don't forget your seatbelt Artoo ... Artoo?" [James Lennox]